i dont speak cool kid

but i can if you like ezra | 26 | he/they/it ♡ heysmoochy.carrd.co ♡

[i-fuck-audis]

MY FUCKING CAR

[lemonsweet]

Do you remember the episode of Spongebob where he's training gary for the snail race and does a coach persona + calls gary a girl and has an aside where he's like "I called you a lady to demean you 🤓" and right after he says that it cuts to sandy and she somehow telepathically feels that Spongebob just did something misogynistic and us like I feel like I need to kick Spongebobs ass for some reason. And then she appears just at the end of the episode to kick his ass.

[ghostwriterofthemachine]

Goddddddd thinking about that narrative moment when something horrible is happening and the character who has been frantically trying to come up with a way to fix it and getting more and more frantic and panicky just—stops. Because. Oh. There’s the solution. They’re not getting out of this alive but like. It’s a solution for everyone else. Okay. Okay.

[dr-gaytorius]

"I'm looking respectfully" well can you look at me like you're dying of a fever. like you're delirious and it hurts. like you're fighting desperately for your life.

[iamoutofideas]

meowth voice: today I’m takin james to da clinic to get an aboition

[onlysushicat]

[kurtbuzz]

Apr 9, 1993 - Cow Palace, Daly City, CA

[paulfrankjuliusthemonkey]

they need to make noise canceling headphones that are comfortable when you lay on your side in fetal position

[drops-of-universe]

please dont vape your blueberry ice flavor around my kid. we are raising him on marlboro reds exclusively.

[dajo42]

a 500 word short story with the same plot as your novel that explores how quickly the problem could be solved by sonic the hedgehog

[dajo42]

knuckles gamgee

[sonicheritageposts]

sonic heritage post

[incorrectsmashbrosquotes]

I’ve never seen this one before and it just punched me in the fucking face.

[grieving-angel-hopeful-demon]

Just like Knuckles did to Sonic

[silverjirachi]

[yourinnerhealthplus]

he's so real for this

[ethernalium]

Resident Evil 4 (2023)

[funstyle]

Im always like "i will not add my two cents. i will not add my two cents" but i cant lie the pennies are getting sweaty in my hand

[alivingtypo]

you can pry starting sentences with 'and' or 'but' out of my cold, dead hands

[today-till-tomorrow]

op how does it feel to be the most correct person on earth

[evilscientist3]

i swear if the wizard doesnt let me out of his abandoned salt mine soon im gonna fucking LOSE IT

[ttechniic]

what did you do to be put into the salt mine

[evilscientist3]

i MAY have eaten his special wizard meal. but i think he should let me out tbh

[ttechniic]

was it good? was it worth it? are you able to bear the weight of your sin?

[evilscientist3]

im not gonna lie it was fucking delicious i would fucking do it again. wait shit youre the fucking wizard in disguise seeing if ive learned my lesson arent you. fuck.

[ttechniic]

10 YEARS IN THE ABANDONED SALT MINE.

[siderealglimmer]

[kurulover]

I hate that when you’re stressed enough your body just starts falling apart. I think it should realize you’re already stressed and don’t need that and start functioning better actually

[kurulover]

[krisonthefrontporchwithabeer]

Keep salting the wound I'm close