lol so much for starting the new year off strong.
With my luck, the second week of January I ended up getting sick. After being on antibiotics for a week, I then got a delayed allergic reaction to it. Now, my whole body has been covered in hives and I'm on a new set of meds to take care of the ever burning itch I have from my head to my toes.
I didn't picture the beginning of 2023 like this, as cliche as it sounds, I was quite hopeful that this year will bring in something positive for a change. After all, I didn't gobble down 12 grapes under the table before midnight for nothing. I've been so desperate to get rid of the bad juju of 2022, but lo' and behold 2023 comes in to remind me that it's just another year, just a different number in the end.
As I have been laying in bed trying to recoup, I've really given myself time to reflect what 2023 will mean to me. After a couple crying sessions, lamenting and self-pitying conversations, I realized that 2023 is truly just another year. There really isn't anything special about the year turning, other than the fact that the sun hasn't exploded yet.
And don't get me wrong, I am still very much the girl who still wants to create those goals, vision boards, etc. but I do want to steer away from feeling bad for not being able to be consistent at it. I just wanted to approach this "new year resolution" at a different light. I want to be able to approach it in a way where it is easily digestible and without having to feel like I have to catch up by swallowing each goal as quickly as possible.
I also want to make the rest of my life not just a check list on the board, but finding a way where I can live my life purposefully and present in every moment. It's hard nowadays to be present and aware of what happens in the day to day. I find myself a lot just going in the motion of things and not pausing to reflect. Even doing this blog post, makes me a little angsty.
So, I will look at 2023 at different angle. No more feeling bad that I didn't start on the 1st day of January or wait till Monday to change something. I just have to start even if it's the smallest of change, because if not now, then when?
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