bleed.

your blood sings for war, oh child of the stars. your ribs ache beneath the strain of breathing, buried girl. you scream for absolution, and the gods do not give it to you.

[hiddenjedi]

me, myself and I, we don’t even catch a breath.

indie star wars OC, as beleaguered by Micki. est. 2012. legends based.

[astraldestiny]

Perhaps she had been more than a little busy, most Jedi had been lately. Abeloth had almost succeeded in turning the whole galaxy against them once more. She remembered the fear in her grandmother's voice upon learning her granddaughter had shown signs of force sensitivity, she had learnt about the Jedi purge, had seen news recordings of it. She knew how close they had gotten to repeating such HORROR. It concerned her that it had not been the first time they had been forced into this uncomfortable position.

" I will not jinx myself by asking for a break but it would be nice to have some variety for once. " There was always something to do but she had to admit a vacation was starting to sound INVITING even if they both knew she would not take one unless forced to. " Oh you know me, I can't keep my mouth shut. " It was close enouh to an accurate statement. She did know when speaking out would not benefit anyone but she also had a tendency to willingly ignore poor situations to call out injustice. After all, both as a Jedi and a diplomat, it was her DUTY to speak for those who could not represent themselves.

" But be honest, you think thats a good quality about me. "

[hiddenjedi]

"Never said it wasn't." Dani shrugged, casting her gaze out on the skyline, irrevocably changed by the last decade of war. Coruscant had been unchanging for so long, a glittering beacon of hope and wealth for many, and the Yuuzhan Vong had managed what not even the Empire had.

It had changed. And with it, forcing everyone else to change, or be swallowed whole.

"Better they have a Jedi beatin' their asses about all the nerf poodoo they turn blind eyes to." Because the alternative was the whole galaxy shouldering the burden eventually. Or the Jedi Order, struggling to find footing time and again.

( she remembers the Jedi at heights so dizzying that it would be hundreds of years before this Order reaches them again. thousands of beings from all corners of the galaxy, glittering bright as the very planet that housed them ).

The same Jedi that she claimed to no longer be a part of, but still reappeared out of the shadows now and then to bear the standard. To pretend she herself was more than a phantom, anchored to a wound that would never heal over.

So, for Jedi like Mina, Dani wore the standard. Not out of pride, not out of a misguided sense of being the only guiding hand who could do it. Simply because she must — because the Force willed it.

[syfysource]

Claudia Black as Aeryn Sun

FARSCAPE | 4.14 Twice Shy

[astraldestiny]

➝ @hiddenjedi said: "hell of a thing you've wormed your way into, kiddo." the arch of a single brow, faint smile hovering around thin lips — there's no condemnation to be found of Mina. "councilmember, huh?"

Curious, headstrong young girl had grown into a woman who had more than earned her new title, that much even Mina herself could admit. A LOT had happened since she had last seen her former teacher ( she would not quite go as far as to call the other her former master, things had never been as official between them as to be defined by such words ). Smile as polite and contained as ever — her friend would be able to see the subtle way her lips curled upwards the way they only did when she was smiling in earnest rather than entertaining a smile simply because it was polite and proper in the moment.

" I've been BUSY since we last spoke. " Her words were half accusation and half admission. You could call more often, I have missed you, I was worried about you. " Besides, I needed something to do after getting thrown out of the senate. " First Caedus had branded her a traitor and then Daala had attempted to block her from continuing her duties once she had been reinstated simply because she was a JEDI. Once again she had found herself at odds with her two paths in life and once again it was the path of a Jedi that had pulled her back in. A part of her had always known her place in the political landscape had been set on a timer from the start and yet ... it had taken outside ' help ' for her to see the path clearly.

[hiddenjedi]

"Seems like th' whole damn galaxy has been." Busy didn't even begin to cover it. Dani was prone to vanishing for swathes of time, becoming a nobody on the fringes of the galaxy until the Force decided to drag her back into the chaos again and again ( and again and again and again ).

It was good, though, to see Mina again. Little girl all grown up and striding through the muck.

( and make no doubts — playing politics was, in fact, muck. )

If Dani had caught the quiet, unspoken worry, she made no comment on it. The less people expected her to stick around, the better. It was easier to avoid the tangible proof everyone aging with every tick of the chronometer that way.

"Was wonderin' how long it'd take 'fore you pissed someone off too badly to get away with it." Lighter, teasing, poking at Mina's tendency to start a ( verbal ) fight over a perceived injustice or wrong.

Just because her presence had been absent from the larger galactic scales didn't mean she hadn't kept an eye on her former student.

[greelin]

dying & getting resurrected as a form of enrichment

[weirdpsychoticlife]

[hiddenjedi]

anonymous -> Dani! Have you ever met Master Katarn? What do you think of him?

"Man's got a reputation. I'll give 'im that much." Arms cross as she regards the other with a close eye. Skywalker's chaotic, distinctly learning-as-they-go students had more questions than answers, and it was easier to lean on the part of being no more knowledgeable than anyone else in the fledgling praxeum. "Can't say I've worked with him."

But at this point in time, just a scant few years after the Empire was put down — anyone who spends enough time working around or with or near a Jedi will be familiar with Jedi Katarn's exploits.

( whispers that the other Jedi had been to Dromund Kaas, and a cold knot, coiling its way up her spine, is in answer to the recollection ).

"Sounds like he can handle himself in a fight. Rest's up for judgement still."

There's a wary tilt to her stance, hip jutted out as most of her weight leans to one side. "You askin' everyone that question tonight, or jus' specific people?"

[hiddenjedi]

ur weird . btw

far be it for the kettle t' tell the pot—

[hiddenjedi]

koa vc bitch.

blocked.

[lightfound]

" And I thought you'd know by now its useless to try convince me of your way to handle things, Dani. I'm open to discussions, always, but I also learnt the hard way not to trust my anger. "

[hiddenjedi]

"Oh, I'm not tryin' to convince you. You're jus' an easy target about it. Trust me. There're better people down here t' hit with the 'listen to your anger' spiel."

[lightfound]

" I'd rather not compare it to my lightsaber. Those are two VERY different things. One is a volatile emotion the other a tool that can be used for either good or bad. "

[hiddenjedi]

"Every emotion has the potential t' be volatile. Think you'd know that 'bout now, Master Jedi."

[lightfound]

→ @hiddenjedi said: a little wrath never hurt anyone, skywalker. no one it didn't need t' hurt, anyway.

" You KNOW I will disagree with you on that. Wrath easily hurts a lot of people it didn't need to hurt. It is hard to control and irresponsible to use. In my opinion of course. "

[hiddenjedi]

"It's a tool. Just like anythin' else. Like your lightsaber. Or mine."

[freckleslikestars]

Maybe... I could have become something different. If you'd lived, I could have truly changed. But you are gone. And I am what I was bred to be.

Claudia Black as Aeryn Sun

FARSCAPE | 3.17 The Choice

[weirdpsychoticlife]

[murmaider]

CLAUDIA BLACK FARSCAPE | PK Tech Girl

[hiddenjedi]

[ @rahbid​ ] “You’re lonely too.“

“Nah. Jus’ functional.” No one gets in her way most days, and no one haunts the space she calls home. Apparently it didn’t stop strays from wandering in. Making themselves at home.

( strays. as if Jezebel hadn’t been someone she’d been acquainted with, years ago. a different time, a different era )

“Thought you’d’ve gone t’ ground somewhere.” Like everyone else. Anyone who wasn’t willfully making targets of themselves out of some act of vengeance. Hand slaps the ramp controls of the battered starship, sealing it behind her before peeling off the outer layer of her armor — bloodied and scorched, but nothing the other hasn’t seen before.

It wasn’t like Jezebel to have gotten herself killed, after all. Too much was twisted around the girl in the Force ( not unlike herself, in a way ). “How long’ve you been lurkin’, hm?”

[hiddenjedi]

[ @yuuzhan​ ] ( from koa )   “ how could i forget you? ”

“Feels like you should’ve.” It’s said matter-of-factly, no implication of self loathing or bitterness. The same way one might order caf or a sweet from some corner shop on Coruscant.

It’s not his fault, exactly, that he ended up befalling a similar fate. Encased, forgotten and abandoned. Left to a slow, lingering existence. But the fact of the matter, he should’ve. Should’ve forgotten her, or at least, lived his life out where they’d both belonged.

Instead… here they were. Koa, practically held at lightsaber-point to stay on bed-rest within the walls of the Coruscant Jedi Temple, with healers drifting in and out of the vicinity to make sure he hadn’t hobbled off on his own.

( the first time he did it, she caught him in the act. it felt like nothing had changed )

And so she’s found herself a seat by his bed, enveloped by a dark robe and, for a long, long moment, looking like she belonged here.

( it was the fact that she looked just a few seconds shy of a walking corpse, sitting next to someone still suffering hibernation sickness )

“The hell’d you do t’ get yourself trapped like that, anyway?”

[yuuzhan-deactivated20230307]

⠀⠀⠀HE STILL REMEMBERS. the smell of blood and cauterized flesh, of scorched metal and adrenaline. he hadn’t been angry then ⎯ hurt, just hurt, confused ⎯ and he wasn’t angry now. sure, dani was the last person koa expected to see when coherency and consciousness finally dawned on him; but he wasn’t angry. even if he didn’t feel half - dead, he didn’t think he could find it in him.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀the holes in his memory were starting to fill again, and the world wasn’t all dark static anymore ⎯ things had shape, definition, color again. he could actually move, difficulty notwithstanding. koa didn’t understand why they were so insistent, keeping him metaphorically tied down and watched like a sith in a tython cantina.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀most jarring of all is the fact that it’s dani who has been keeping an eye on him. suddenly, the aforementioned metaphor tastes sour on his tongue.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀maybe it’s just the bile.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀“ you’re surprised? ” koa asks, but like dani, he’s just talking. just saying it. head swims for a moment, and he closes his eyes against the lights, takes a deep breath. “ i fed myself to the sarlacc pit, dani. someone on the council, they … right into the hands of the sith ⎯ ”

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀nahri. will you ⎯

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀fingers tense, flex, grasping the blanket. “ i don’t know. i don’t know what they wanted. easier just to kill me. ” eyes open, and he turns to look at dani. his skull throbs with the effort, and he’s worried he won’t be able to keep down whatever it is they’ve been forcing in him. he begins to ask, with no regard for whether he’s already offered the questions before, “ you ⎯ you’re … how ⎯ ”

[hiddenjedi]

"mm. little bit." grappling with the changes, with the way that the galaxy had rippled and reshaped itself in the time she'd been imprisoned and frozen ( someone's wall trophy, for a time, she thinks )... that had been a struggle of its own. in a way. "thought you'd've gone 'n' gotten all grey at least. maybe wrinkly and hunched."

for a second she looks away. fixes her gaze on the texture of the blanket tucked around him, not quite a cocoon, not quite laid atop. the last time she remembers seeing him—

( dropped him to a knee, without the energy to raise her weapon one more time. without the will to cleave head from shoulders. for all the rage that kept the fight rolling, it hadn't been enough in the end ( he wasn't supposed to be there ) )

and now he'll never have the answer. not that it would've been a good one. sometimes Sith do things simply for the thrill of it. for the suffering they can enact on another being and the sustenance they can draw from such suffering.

"long story." one that could be condensed, shortened, made light of. because doing that was easier than explaining the headaches that come and go, the whispers from the shadowiest parts of the Temple halls. "r'mind me when you're not tryin' t' hobble around like a demented old man."

it is an act of will that keeps grief and anger from bubbling over. it would serve no one — those deserving to become targets of both were long long dead, and not even their ghosts could be called up to be rent apart.