I AM THE DANCING MAN ON SKYPE

A common sideblog made for the sole purpose of spewing out anything that's on my mind ever. Because come on, can't do that shit on my main blog.

[hidingundertherock]

being in a relationship is hard most times. I'm a possessive control freak, secretly learnin the passwords to my bf's phone and fb. seeing that he recently looked up last month 2 of his exes, oNE THAT BLOCKED HIM AND WANTED NOTHING MORE TO DO WITH HIM SO WTF DID HE LOOK EM UP. WHY THE FUCK DOES HE WANNA OPEN UP THAT CAN OF WORMS?

the saddest thing is now that I know this, I wanna slam him wit the info but I can't tell him I how I know cause then privacy will be an issue.

but dude, why. why would he do that. he knows im so fucking insecure about his past. why is he doing that to me. why does he give a fuck about his past when I so desperately told him time and time again to forget it exists for my sake.

and he likes so many girls pics of fb too. like why the fuck do you keep liking that shit. I can see it, it comes up on my newsfeed.

and don't even start on the sex. he barley wants to fuck me anymore. and I still have the same drive. I feel like im a sex fiend or something and that makes me feel sad. and knowing this, now I know for sure I'm not good enough like I always was afraid to know.

fuck them bitches. I fucking hate all of his ex sex buds and exes. they can rot in hell.

[hidingundertherock]

My life;;

the greatest part about it is I'm living with the one I love the suckiest part about is that my love is the only one I have real conversations with every day. I don't know what to do. I'm happy but I'm also sad because I want other friends, I want family, but I just don't know how to talk to anyone anymore. And I'm just exhausted to talk to anyone anymore.

[hidingundertherock]

my boyfriend comes to fast sometimes, we go again and he's soft on me. pls help me come 🙃

[hidingundertherock]

I've been doing something pretty awful as a gf

I've been going through my bf's phone and deleting all the girls off his facebook friend list that I know of whom he had sex with (that sentence was hard to write)

I'm a petty bitch what can I say. im pretty sure he'll catch on if he hasn't already. the other day I asked him to give me the first and last names of all the girls he fuck (about 15 other girls I think--1 other girl he had unprotected sex with) and ive been going through his snapchat list (to which he lied and said he deleted one girl when we had an argument about it earlier so I deleted it for him)

I know its wrong. but it makes me feel immensely better that they are no where in his life anymore because fuck them all, and fuck him for being a horny bastard.

[hidingundertherock]

relationship;

so I'm at this point where I don't think I have it in me to be in a relationship because I'm just so not used to all the rollercoaster emotions that fuck with my mind. I'm feelin low, I have no idea he did nothing wrong. But I'll feel like this every once and a while and take it out on him and he can feel that I'm pissed but usually can't grasp as to why I'm just so not used to having someone that I've got to keep on talking to since we're in some kind of official status And I've been feelin real horny since this afternoon and tried to remedy that but I still feel weirdly empty now I feel like I'm dependent too much on him to get me off cause man I just really wanna fuck right about now I think I've been smoking too much weed hahahaahaah

[hidingundertherock]

im so worried that i might be pregnant since me and A had unprotected sex like on 3 diff occasions but he pulled out each time however precum sperm might be a thing im just freaking since ive been so moody and my period should come at the end of next month bc my cycle is outta wack.

i dont take birth control, i’m afriad of plan B. i;m just despritly praying at this point that nothing bad will happen bc ive been drinking and gettin high maybe that’ll kill it omfg.

[hidingundertherock]

the more time i spend with A, the more i dig him even deal with the little stuff that annoys me.

i know he mentioned last time, “if i ever do something to annoy you, please tell me to shut the fuck up.” and then he was like “say it, say it,” so i whispered in his ear “shut the fuck up.”

and he was like “good, but if we’re ever in a noisy environment u gotta yell it at me or i’ll be all WHAT. WHAT I CAN’T HEAR U.”

why am i writing this? i originally wanted to write about his love of amsterdam gin and my desire to get myself a bottle so i don’t have to deal with shitty vodka anymore.

[hidingundertherock]

casually waiting for my parents to leave the house and enjoy the nice day so i can smoke in my room and also enjoy the nice day.

but no, no no no i will wait years before that happens.

[hidingundertherock]

all i wanna do is hang out with A like ughhhhh

[hidingundertherock]

*patiently wating for my mother to leave so i can smoke and drink PLS LEAVE

[hidingundertherock]

Man I missed weed. It tastes soooooo good

[hidingundertherock]

This has just been rattling around in my brain all day? Have I been friend zoned? Is he interested in me!??? WHAT DOES HE MEAN?

[hidingundertherock]

I really like A. I think he's attractive, I dig his personality, he's like a big child but keeps a good head on his shoulders. He's fun. Idk if he's looking for a relationship though, and I just find myself falling so hard from him, terrified that he doesn't feel the same

[hidingundertherock]

Pretty fucking sure I was invited over for a booty call. No, fuck you

[hidingundertherock]

Like I'm having trust issues with any guy now, I'm so fucking over the whole thing. Dating...hanging out? Fuck it all, I'm done. I hate feeling angry & like not wanted I'm to emotionally fragile for whatever we are, we probably are nothing?? I just wish I could go back b4 I met him--b4 I met the first guy bc I was a happier b. Well I wasn't happier, I was still desiring. But my previous unhappy at least didn't feel as gut wrenching.

[hidingundertherock]

Hi, I hate A. that's his name. I can't handle this, I've reached that point where I'm hungry but don't feel like eating. I feel like laying in bed and being depressed for no reason. I'm just, an emotionally fragile chick who feels like once the guy did the deed (no we did not have sex but we were too close--we did sexual acts ummm) then he wants nothing to do with me anymore. And he's still on tinder & im still on tinder but I've yet to run into anyone as cool as him & ive visited this Twitter countless times & noted that he follows some porn twitters &&& I'm just so fucking tired of hanging with guys who just don't get it. (We met up like 4 times & the fourth time we went a little farther than expected) Don't fucking get that I really like you?? I would love to fuck you, but I want to know that maybe, you just want me too back the same way. Like fuuuuuuck & his lack of initiating texts since our last hang infuriates me & it's like I'm not much on his mind as much anymore since he's sorta conquests me sexually FUCK GUYS MAN FUCK

[hidingundertherock]

Has this just suddenly shifted to me talking about a guy bc my next reason to write a post was the same shit guy who NEVER RESPONDS AT THE RIGHT TIME so I sit here and wait thinking he's already got some better chick to hang with, fuming