Thoughts

Hello!

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i just found out that my cousin stole some of the money i sent my mom for her medication ha ha ha family first my ass

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so many things ive kept hidden

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we keep going but at what cost

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Being a late 20s adult in this day and age means worrying about one thing after another. I'm so tired of being tired. I can't catch a break. Things I need time to deal with just keep getting compartmentalized into the dark corners of my brain, only to resurface as agitation, anger, sadness, resentment, guilt, and anxiety.

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I am so tired of self-sabotage. Im so so so sick of it.

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ok turns out im still angry

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can i cry my problems away i am so tired of being poor

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Learning to make peace with the fact that i'll always just me the tag-along

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we were a road accident

you in the neck brace needing space

i, the crowd of people flocking toward you

wanting to help, meaning well

but only ever making it harder for you to breathe

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aaaahhh the validation tastes g l o r i o u s

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How do you convince yourself you're not a burden when you can see people become exhausted by your presence

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I am consumed by thoughts of you not wanting me around, of you getting tired of me, of you not loving me anymore.

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Feeling sad and then feeling guilty about feeling sad is the worst

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It's just one of those days where I wanna disappear

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Please be patient with me. I'm trying my hardest for you.

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I think people who don't experience anxiety will never fully grasp how much it can displace you

Anxiety attacks are one of the worst things I've ever experienced. I understand it's irrational to feel anxious about something objectively insignificant, but i feel it anyway. I dont want to feel this way, I just do. I become hypersensitive to my surroundings and it becomes too much. The sound of a loud car horn makes me want to cry. I don't want to feel this way, I just do. Literally everything becomes too much and it feels like I can't breathe. If you don't understand, the least you can do is not raise your voice at me. I hate feeling this way. I fucking hate anxiety.

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Sometimes i feel wrong. I feel like I have to apologize for the way i feel. It feels like my feelings are invalid. It feels like I'm invalid.