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Writing blog of reblogs. Sideblog of inthemornong-whenwerise

[thewordriven]

Write Your Novel In A Year – Week 18: Shading A Scene

Write Your Novel In A Year – Week 18: Shading A Scene

Welcome to week 18 of Anthony’s series that aims to help you write a novel in a year. Read last week’s post here.

Goal setting

Continue writing the scenes of your novel.

Breaking it down

Dynamics – soft light and explosions

In music, the dynamics of a song or performance relate to volume. In your novel, it’s pretty much the same. You contrast loud – or busy – scenes with quieter, more tranquil scenes.

This can even happen in one scene. For example, two lovers at a lively party with the beat of tropical house music, escape to a quiet garden to sip beer from a cup and steal a kiss. It can be more subtle: a computer analyst listens to the beeps and whirs of his computers at a beach house, while the sea whispers and retreats outside the deck.

You can also amplify the ‘volume’ if you like. In the movie Grace of Monaco, we see Princess Grace having an argument with her husband in their plush bedroom while outside the palace windows, the dull-sounding fireworks of New Year explode in the night sky.

To create wider dynamics in your novel, you need contrasting scenes throughout. Some contrasts are obvious to develop: you could have some scenes at night, others in the day.  Scale is another contrasts: you could move from a big warehouse to a small intimate bedroom.

In my novel, I realised I was getting a bit static with my scenes – especially in terms of the settings, and I needed to open it up a bit. For example, I’ve decided to look at having some scenes outdoors, at the sea, or at hotels or on the street.

You could even play with the length of a scene – some can be short, sharp, with a minimal word count. Others could be longer scenes that take their time to build up to a plot point. Play with the ‘volume’ of your novel – and you’ll find the pace of your novel improves.

A little bit of levity

Even if you’re writing a serious drama, you need a little bit of humour – or at least a lighter tone in places of your novel. It will give it a little bit of contrast.  And if you’re writing a comic novel, you also need a few ‘serious’ moments – light touches of drama.

In Ed McBain’s Axe for example, we have our detectives investigating a grim crime – an old caretaker found with an axe in his head. The author contrasts this grim element with some great comic dialogue between the two detectives – discussing the inane plots of two horror movies – as well as showing one of the detective’s gentleness with his two children and mute wife.

In my novel, I must be honest, I’m struggling to find this levity. As a writer, I tend to be a bit ‘dark’ and I have to consciously pull back from pushing the melodrama button. But I have found one comic character – Jenna’s stepmother, who is a bit of a lush and says inappropriate things at the dinner table.

My writer friend, Marc, always says, ‘There has to be a bit of sweet with the sour.’ So true. For every bit of pleasure, there has to be a bit of pain. Dark is always hungry for light – even if it’s the light from an open refrigerator.

Setting and contrast

Your setting can provide you with a great palette to create contrast on the page. Think of it: a Romeo-and-Juliet love story taking place in a shanty town or against the backdrop of a war. Or a violent shoot-out taking place in an elegant ballroom.

In my novel, for example, Jenna is watching old home movies of her mother, father, and herself as a child – these looming images of her once happy family are played out on a blank wall – while she sits alone in her living room. It’s a good way to contrast her present and her past. It adds a bittersweet tone to the story.

Keep in mind setting isn’t a static place: it includes objects of affection for your characters, hidden dangers – like the loose tile on a stair that’s never been fixed – and lots more.  Find those little details that will enrich your story and even add complications to the plot – like someone tripping on that tile.

Timelock — 2.5 to 5 hours

Continue to write for a half hour or a full hour a day.

5 Quick Hacks

Take a scene in your novel and switch it from a day scene to a night scene – or vice versa. How does it change the mood?

Try to find a character with comic potential in your novel. It could be a dim-witted brother in law, an impatient driving instructor, or a clumsy waiter.

Write about contrasting moments in your own life – when extreme joy turned to sadness in a short space of time.

Look through your synopsis to see where you could add in other settings to place your scenes. It could be an aquarium, a dentist’s office, even a funeral home.

Keep in mind: children, pets, and grandparents as characters can add great moments of levity.

Pin it, quote it, believe it:

‘Good storytelling is humanity’s great connector, and it might just stop the world from eating itself.’ — James Genn

[penrosesun]

On the issue of the ‘q slur’...

So, yesterday, I got into a rather stupid internet argument with someone who was peddling what seemed to me to be a rather insidious narrative about slur-reclamation. Someone in the ensuing notes raised a point which I thought was interesting, and worrying, and probably needed to be addressed in it’s own post. So here we go:

The word ‘queer’ itself seems to be especially touchy for many, so let me begin to address this by way of analogy.

Instead of talking about “queer”, let’s start by talking about “Jew” - a word which I believe is very similar in its usage in some significant ways.

Now, the word “Jew” has been used as a derogatory term for literally hundreds of years. It is used both as a noun (eg. “That guy ripped me off - what a dirty Jew”) and as a verb (eg. “That guy really Jew-ed me”). These usages are deeply, fundamentally, horrifically offensive, and should be used under no circumstances, ever. And yet, I myself have heard both, even as recently as this past year, even in an urban location with plenty of Jews, in a social situation where people should have known better. In short – the word “Jew”, as it is used by certain antisemites, is – quite unambiguously – a slur. Not a dead slur, not a former slur – and active, living slur that most Jews will at some point in their life encounter in a context where the term is being used to denigrate them and their religion. 

Now here’s the thing, though: I’m a Jew. I call myself a Jew. I prefer that all non-Jews call me a Jew – so do most Jews I know. “Jew” is the correct term for someone who is part of the religion of Judaism, the same way that “Muslim” is the correct term for someone who is part of the religion of Islam, and “Christian” is the correct term for someone who is part of the religion of Christianity. 

In fact, almost all of the terms that non-Jews use to avoid saying “Jew” (eg. “a member of the Jewish persuasion”, “a follower of the Jewish faith”, “coming from a Jewish family”, “identifying as part of the Jewish religion”, etc) are deeply offensive, because these terms imply to us that the speaker sees the term “Jew” (and by extension, what that term stands for) as a dirty word.

“BUT WAIT” – I hear you say – “didn’t you just say that Jew is used as a slur?!?”

Yes. Yes, I did. And also, it is fundamentally offensive not to call us that, because it is our name and our identity.

Let me back up a little bit, and bring you into the world of one of those 2000s PSAs about not using “that’s so gay”. Think of some word that is your identity – something which you consider to be a fundamental and intrinsic part of yourself. It could be “female” or “male”, or “Black” or “white”, “tall” or “short”, “Atheist” or “Mormon” or “Evangelical” – you name it.

Now imagine that people started using that term as a slur.

“What a female thing to do!” they might say. “That teacher doesn’t know anything, he’s so female!”

Or maybe, “Yikes, look at that idiot who’s driving like an atheist. It’s so embarrassing!”

Or perhaps, “Oh gross, that music is so Black, turn it off!”

Now, what would you say if the same groups of people who had been saying those things for years turned around and avoided using those words to describe anything other than an insult?

“Oh, so I see you’re a member of the female persuasion!”

“Is he… a follower of the atheist beliefs? Like does he identify as part of the community of atheist-aligned individuals?”

“So, as a Black-ish identified person yourself – excuse me, as a person who comes from a Black-ish family…”

Here’s the fundamental problem with treating all words that are used as slurs the same, without any regard for how they are used and how they developed – not all slurs are the same.

No one, and I mean no one (except maybe for a small handful of angsty teens who are deliberately making a point of being edgy) self-identifies as a kike. In contrast, essentially all Jews self-identify as Jews. And when non-Jews get weird about that identity on the grounds that “Jew is used as a slur”, despite the fact that it is the name that the Jewish community as a whole resoundingly identifies with, what they are basically saying is that they think that the slur usage is more important than the Jewish community self-identification usage. They are saying, in essence, “we think that your name should be a slur.” 

Now, at the top I said that the word “Jew” and the word “queer” had some significant similarities in terms of their usage, and I think that’s pretty apparent if you look at what people in those communities are saying about those terms. When American Jews were being actively threatened by neo-Nazis in the 70s, the slogan of choice was “For every Jew a .22!″. When the American Queer community was marching in the 90s in protest of systemic anti-queer violence, the slogan of choice was “We’re here, we’re queer, get used to it!” Clearly, these are terms that are used by the communities themselves, in reference to themselves. Clearly, these terms are more than simply slurs.

But while there are useful similarities between how the terms “Jew” and “Queer” are used by bigots and by their own communities, I’d also like to point out that there is pretty substantial and important difference:

Unlike for “queer”, there is no organized group of Jewish antisemites who are using the catchphrase “Jew is a slur!” in order to selectively silence and disenfranchise Jews who are part of minority groups within Judaism. 

This is the real rub with the term queer – no one was campaigning about it being a slur until less than a decade ago. No one was saying that you needed to warn for the word queer when queer people were establishing the academic discipline of queer studies. No one was ‘think of the children”-ing the umbrella term when queer activists were literally marching for their lives. Go back to even 2010 and the term “q slur” would have been basically unparseable – if I saw someone tag something “q slur”, like most queer people I would have wracked my brains trying to figure out what slur even started with q, and if I learned that it was supposed to be “queer”, my default assumption would be that the post was made by a well-meaning but extremely clueless straight person.

I literally remember this shift – and I remember who started it. Exclusionists didn’t like the fact that queer was an umbrella term. Terfs (or radfems as they like to be called now) didn’t like that queer history included trans history; biphobes and aphobes didn’t like that the queer community was also a community to bisexuals and asexuals. And so what could they possibly say, to drive people away from the term that was protecting the sorts of queer people that they wanted to exclude?

Well, naturally, they turned to “queer is a slur.”

And here’s the thing – queer is a slur, just like Jew is a slur, and no one is denying that. And that fact makes “queer is a slur so don’t use it” a very convincing argument on the surface: 1) queer is still often used as a slur, and 2) you shouldn’t ever use slurs without carefully tagging and warning people about them (and better yet, you should never use them at all), and so therefore 3) you need to tag for “the q slur” and you need to warn people not to call the community “the queer community” or it’s members “queer people” or its study “queer studies” – because it’s a slur!

But the crucial step that’s missing here is exactly the same one above, for the word “Jew” – and that step is that not all slurs are the same. When a term is both used as a slur and used as a self-identity term, then favoring the slur meaning instead of the identity meaning is picking the side of the slur-users over the disadvantaged group! 

If you say or tag “q slur” you are sending the message, whether you realize it or not, that people who use “queer” as a slur are more right about its meaning than those who use it as their identity. Tagging for “queer” is one thing. People can filter for “queer” if it triggers them, just like people can filter for anything else. Not everyone has to personally use the term queer, or like the term queer. But there is no circumstance where the term “q slur” does not indicate that you think queer is more of a slur than of an accurate description of a community.

If I, as a Jew, ever came across a post where someone had warned for innocent, positive, non-antisemitic content relating to Judaism with the tag “J slur”, I would be incensed. So would any Jew. The act of tagging a post “J slur” is in and of itself antisemitic and offensive.

Queer people are allowed to feel the same about “q slur”. It is not a neutral warning term – it is an attack on our identity.

[wordsnstuff]

Hi, how are you? I'm going to be honest, I have no idea if you've answered something like this before, but I hope you can help me nonetheless. Recently I've decided to take a break from the piece I've been working on for a year now (Continuously) because I can't bring myself to write it anymore. I have something else I want to write in the meantime, but the problem is- every time I open the editor, I hit a sudden blank. What is this and why is it happening? How can I cure this?

Hello there! I have quite a few resources on this that might help you:

How To Motivate Yourself To Write

How To Fall (Back) In Love With Writing

Why “Burnout” Is Okay - The Creativity Cycle

These resource posts have a section on writer’s block that has a lot of good resources:

Useful Writing Resources

Useful Writing Resources II

This is an ask I’ve answered previously on a topic very similar to yours that should help:

Falling Out Of Love With A Story You Want To Finish

My general advice on this is to not rush coming back to it. Don’t give up on it, because like most interests, we come back to them eventually, even if it takes a while. However, if you feel a desire to work on something else, do it, and you may build up the momentum to continue that other project while you’re at it. 

If you really want to continue right now, then take it one baby step at a time. Don’t torture yourself, because sometimes the timing isn’t right for us even when it has to be.

If you enjoy my blog and wish for it to continue being updated frequently and for me to continue putting my energy toward answering your questions, please consider Buying Me A Coffee or supporting me on Patreon.

I’d also really appreciate it if you would check out my separate blog dedicated to my current work in progress, as well as my studyblr, which helps keep me motivated as a full time student.

[pitbolshevik]

do they think we're only allowed to eat kraft singles or

[pitbolshevik]

i go to the american grocery store and step into the cheese isle pondering which kraft single i will buy

[jheselbraum]

Everyone wants to act like Americans don’t have cheese but no one wants to talk about the cheese caves, the caves where we put all our cheese because we make too much and our cringe government keeps bailing out our fail dairy farmers to keep the price of milk stable because The Great Depression so now we have so much cheese in this country we could literally stop producing cheese right now and still have enough cheese to give everyone in America a pound of it every day for four years. And I’m not even talking about kraft singles pictured above, I’m talking about an actual not cursed product-- real cheese. Cheddar, brie, gouda, munster, swiss, you name it we have a billion pounds of it, literally. We have so much cheese that we’re literally running out of places to put it and in an effort to get rid of it we reprocess a lot of it into kraft singles (hence it’s a cheese product and not actual cheese-- cheese is but an ingredient in kraft singles, much like how bread is itself an ingredient in German graubrot, although graubrot is a food item that is actually meant to exist on this earth and isn’t the end product a cautionary tale on how not to stabilize a vital industry when your economy is collapsing) and for a very long time we gave it away as part of certain food assistance programs. And that’s not even counting the fancy imported shit from Europe, because yes even though we still have way too much cheese we also still import it from Europe in addition to the too much cheese we already have.

[jheselbraum]

#tell us where the cheese caves are#I want good sharp cheddar#get some Munster and Swiss#get some other cheeses to try why not via @malconvoker

The cheese caves are in Kansas City, Missouri I believe, though I’m not sure how guarded they may or may not be.

[pierroticism]

thought this was something you guys were making up to gaslight the europeans only to find out the massive cheese caves are in fact, real.

what the fuck

[drtanner]

Like I get that we can't just feed the poor and the homeless cheese and nothing else but the fact that the US has an enormous stockpile of food that is costing it money and it STILL won't give any of it away really is something, isn't it.

[michaelbjorkwrites]

6 types of story feedback and what to do with each.

I’ve encountered a lot of feedback over the years.

Feedback that’s good, bad, or cocktail of both — from the 15 workshops I joined in college (including my time in the MFA) to my current experiences as a copywriter.

I’ve also learned how to get the most out of all that feedback. So this week I decided to share six types of story feedback and what do with each.

The Opinion is completely subjective feedback, and its purpose is to gauge what is and isn’t working for readers on a personal level. Isolated opinions offer some insight, but in general, you’ll want to pay attention to the patterns that emerge from multiple readers’ opinions.

Focus on: doubling down on the things your readers tend to like, and consider dialing back the things they don’t like.

Ignore: suggestions for phrasings, story elements, or plot directions that are purely a matter of taste and go counter to your vision.

The Misdiagnosis is feedback where the reader has noticed something wrong in your writing, but they struggle to identify the issue — so they “misdiagnose” the problem. It’s tempting to think this is a False Alarm (#6), but this type of feedback is actually very common and well intentioned, so be on the lookout!

Focus on: reverse engineering the true problem by closely reading the feedback and the passage it applies to. After identifying the real issue, work on a solution.

Ignore: their original diagnosis and any suggestions that are now irrelevant.

The Bad Remedy gets one step further than the Misdiagnosis. Here, the reader correctly identifies the problem, but the solution they provide either doesn’t solve the issue, is overly subjective (see #1), or has a negative ripple effect that the reader didn’t expect.

Focus on: determining a new solution that works for your story and style.

Ignore: any solutions that aren’t right for your story.

The Right Cure is the best kind of feedback, because it not only properly diagnoses a problem in your story, but also provides an effective solution. This feedback is easy to identify when it hits like a lightning-strike revelation — but sometimes the accuracy of the feedback or the tone of its delivery puts us on the defensive. We might try to write it off as an Opinion or False Alarm, but it’s important to accept the Right Cure when it’s offered.

Focus on: following the feedback. You can still tweak or build upon the solution if better ideas come to you; just make sure you’re still solving the problem.

Ignore: any temptation to dismiss the feedback out of pride or a feeling of being wronged due to an uncouth delivery.

The Divination is any feedback that provides the right solution to a problem, even when the reader misdiagnoses (or doesn’t try to diagnose) the problem itself. This often arises when a reader critiques mostly by feel, and while they may struggle to articulate why something is wrong, they feel something is wrong and are able to identify an effective solution. This type of feedback can often look like an Opinion since it lacks justification, but it’s always worth considering.

Focus on: identifying whether their suggestion improves the story, and if it does, implement it.

Ignore: the feedback if you’re confident it’s just an Opinion that doesn’t align with your vision for the story.

The False Alarm is feedback that tries to solve a problem that isn’t there. This type generally comes from a reader who’s distracted, reading too quickly, or trying too hard to find things to criticize (which can occasionally happen in formal critique settings like workshops, where some feel pressure to always contribute). Note, however, that this type of feedback is rare; what you think is a False Alarm is more often than not a Misdiagnosis, a Bad Remedy, or even a poorly delivered Right Cure.

Focus on: identifying whether the feedback actually is a False Alarm or something legitimate.

Ignore: the feedback, but only if you’re absolutely confident it’s a False Alarm. (If you find yourself receiving a lot of False Alarms, reflect on whether you’re dismissing too much feedback, and if you aren’t, consider looping in some new readers.)

Some Parting Rules of Thumb

Now that you have a grasp on these different types of feedback, I want to leave you with some general rules of thumb for revision:

Assume all feedback has the potential to improve your story, even if parts of it are misguided.

Know that everyone is capable of providing helpful feedback, even if they’re less experienced than you are.

Remember your vision as a writer matters, so don’t feel obligated to follow feedback that pushes your story in a direction that contradicts what you set out to create.

Never mistake the need for feedback as a shortcoming; instead, recognize it as an opportunity. Everyone needs feedback, but not everyone is willing to seek it out.

Good luck, and good writing, everybody! I hope this helps you sift through the feedback on your next story.

— — —

You have stories worth telling; I want to help you tell them well. For tips on how to hone your craft and nurture meaningful stories, follow my blog.

[doggosource]

[roseoilz]

18th century ottoman and indian dagger w sheaths

[dynamicsymmetry]

Good stuff.

[eerian-sadow]

This. This is good fiction writing advice. I really appreciate how it was formatted as “this is a common problem, here is a solution to try in your own work” and not “oh god, don’t do that!” without any extra help. And I extra appreciated the “don’t rely on adverbs” bit, because they do have their place but they aren’t the only way actions can be emphasized.

[phantomrose96]

The key shortcut of “windows key” and “.” held together has changed my life

like

emoji access? supremely powerful 🙂💖

But

Kaomoji ?

The year is 2013 and I am unstoppable ヾ(•ω•`)o o(*￣▽￣*)ブo(*°▽°*)o

[phantomrose96]

[nestedneons]

by Su Jian

Patreon

[readyokaygo]

The Palestine Reader

The following is a collection of articles, essays, and books on Palestine. These are not introduction texts to the question of Palestine or the Palestinain-Israeli “conflict”. If you need one read The Palestine-Israel Conflict by Gregory Harms and Todd Fery. Further, this is not an “unbiased” or “neutral” readng list. Everything listed below is counter-hegemonic. I feel absolutely no need to provide anything from the Zionist or Israeli point-of-view when that is the dominant narrative. With that said, I believe this provides a diverse, but in no means comprehensive, overview of the discourse on Palestine. A continuously updated page of this list can be found here.

On Theory

Orientalism by Edward Said

Orientalism Reconsidered by Edward Said

The Question of Palestine by Edward Said

Reading Said in Hebrew by Ella Shohat

Notes on the “Post-Colonial” by Ella Shohat

On History

History of Palestine by Dr. Mohsen Mohammed Saleh

Sabra and Shatila: September 1982 by Bayan Nuwayhed al-Hout

Peace and its Discontents by Edward Said

On Being Palestinian

What It Means to be Palestinian by Dina Matar

A Narrative of Palestinian Dispossession by Samia Costandi

The Palestinian Exile as Writer by Jabra I. Jabra

My People Shall Live by Leila Khaled

Memoirs, 1948 Part I by Fauzi Al-Qawuqji

Memoirs, 1948 Part II

Palestinian Identity and the Performance of Catastrophe by Ihab Saloul

On Zionism

Zionism from the Standpoint of its Victims by Edward Said

Zionism from the Standpoint of its Jewish Victims by Ella Shohat

Jewishness and the Critique of Zionism by Judith Butler

The Invention of the Mizrahim by Ella Shohat

Jewish Fundamentalism in Israel by Israel Shahak and Norton Mezvinsky

Jewish History, Jewish Religion by Israel Shahak

The Ends of Zionism by Joseph Massad

The Persistence of the Palestinian Question by Joseph Massad

On Imperialism and Settler Colonialism in West Asia by Jamil Hilal

The Hidden History of Zionism by Ralph Schoenman

How the Zionists Took Over Palestine by Adel Safty

Imperial Israel and the Palestinians by Nur Masalha

After Zionism by Antony Loewenstein and Ahmed Moor

On the Holocaust

Respecting the Holocaust by Howard Zinn

The Holocaust: Learning the Wrong Lessons by Boaz Evron

The Victimhood of the Powerful by Jennifer Peto

On Media

Propaganda, Perception, and Reality by William A. Cook

Israeli Cinema an interview with Ella Shohat

Israeli Cinema by Ella Shohat

Palestinian Cinema by Nurith Gertz and George Khleifi

On Al Nakba

The 1948 Ethnic Cleansing of Palestine by Ilan Pappe

The Ethnic Cleansing of Palestine by Ilan Pappe

The Saga of Deir Yassin

The Fall of Lydda by Spiro Munayyer

Returning to Kafr Bir'im

How Palestine became Israel by Stephen Hallbrook

The Palestinian Exodus of 1948 by Simha Flapan

Why Did the Palestinians Leave by Walid Khalidi

Selected Documents on 1948

The Limits of the New Israeli History by Joel Beinin

On Genocide

Genocide or Erasure of Palestinians by Kathleen and Bill Christison

Israel’s Slow-Motion Genocide in Occupied Palestine by Steve Lendman

Ongoing Palestinian Genocide by Gideon Polya

The Lessons of Violence by Chris Hedges

The Brutal Siege of Gaza Can Only Breed Violence by Karen Koning AbuZayd

The Olive Trees of Palestine Weep by Sonja Karkar

Slouching toward a Palestinian Holocaust by Richard Falk

Gaza is Dying by Patrick Cockburn

Israeli Immunity for Genocide by Andrea Howard

Palestinian Misery in Perspective by Paul De Rooij

A Slow, Steady Genocide an interview with Tanya Reinhart

Gaza’s Holocaust by Dr. Elias Akleh

Genocide Hides Behind Expulsion by Adi Ophir

The British in Palestine, A Conveniently Forgotten Holocaust by Robert Fisk

European Collusion in Israel’s Slow Genocide by Omar Barghouti

Genocide in Gaza by Ilan Pappe

Genocide Among Us by Curtis F. J. Doebbler

Bleaching the Attrocities of Genocide by Kim Petersen

The Rape of Palestine by William A. Cook

Israel Plots Another Palestinian Exodus by Jonathan Cook

Slow Motion Ethnic Cleansing by Uri Avnery

Disappearing Palestine by Jonathan Cook

The Problem With Israel by Jeff Halper

Gaza in Crisis by Noam Chomsky and Ilan Pappe

Drying Out the Palestinians

Israel’s Latest Assault on Gaza by Norman Finkelstein

To Gaza I Did Not Go by Gideon Levy

Gaza, the World’s Largest Open-Air Prison by Noam Chomsky

The Most Humane Little Checkpoint by Amira Hass

On BDS

BDS: Winning Justice for the Palestinian People

Why Boycott Israeli Universities?

The Necessity of Cultural Boycott by Ilan Pappe

Companies Supporting Israeli Occupation

On Solutions

Two-State Illusion by Ian S. Lustick

Relative Humanity: The Essential Obstacle to a One-State Solution by Omar Barghouti

Where Now For Palestine? by Jamil Hilal

[loveruns]

Team “I can hear the near silent hum of electrical appliances and the bubbles fizzing in the can of soda on the coffee table, but can’t watch tv without subtitles and processes conversation at ¼ speed”

[nevver]

Fear of flying, Daniel Gebhart de Koekkoek

[brucebocchi]

[quivtol]

danganronpa blood

[hedgehog-moss]

We’ve got an itinerant cheese-selling woman who comes into town every Friday morning to sell the cheeses she purchases from local farms, and I like this old-fashioned way of buying cheese (other people, like the mayor, find it mortifying that our village is too small to support its own cheese shop). She stations herself in the plaza and likes to share news about the farms and villages she’s visited this week (at the moment we get a lot of baby animal news, like new calf announcements.) She has the unfortunate habit of denigrating her own cheeses without meaning to because she is a cheese perfectionist. You ask for a bleu, she grimaces hesitantly and says “Ah, poor choice, it doesn’t look quite right to me today”; or you tell her “I really liked the brie I picked last time, so creamy!” and she shakes her head and goes “Ah, you got lucky, often that farmer gives me such shitty brie with a chaulky texture—” then she suddenly looks frustrated with herself, you can tell she’s thinking “why am I giving this information to a client?? I’m the worst cheese saleswoman ever.” It’s very endearing. 

She also sells eggs, and always writes the name of the farmer she got it from on each carton so you can make sure to buy your friends’ eggs and avoid your enemies’ eggs. You’ve got to be like “Six Gilbert eggs please” and publicly announce where your loyalty lies, it’s a whole Thing. If one day you decide to go rogue and ask for Agnès eggs instead you can be sure people will notice, and they will talk. Getting my own chickens is the only way I have found to avoid pledging egg allegiance.

[hotsolvent]

I am OBSESSED with this egg based clique culture

[elodieunderglass]

Some things are just extremely French

[shrewreadings]

Gotta say that “…the mayor [finds] it mortifying that our village is too small to support its own cheese shop…” is The Most French sentiment I have ever heard in my life.

[gaynhl]

[argumate]

hell yeah! I never meet any hot chicks in ##USER_CITY##, it’s a total backwater!

[adhoption]

take me down to the ##USER_CITY## where the grass is ##COLOUR## and the girls are ##USER_PREFERENCE##