I’m warning you, this story doesn’t begin happily. And if you are easily triggered over sexual violence, then this isn’t the post for you.
The story starts when I was a kid. Yes, we have some childhood trauma for you to start off with.
I don’t remember my age, I was old enough I was out of diapers but young enough that I could still imagine going on adventurous quests in my world of pretend. Does any kid ever know when that pretend turns into something really real? A man came into my life. At first everything was fine. My sister joined our family. But a few years went by and I was faced with many secrets I had to keep.
“Come here.” He would say when he led me into an empty room.
“Bend over.” He would whisper as he undid his belt
“Don’t tell anyone.” He would order with a threat
“Did you tell anyone?” He asked over the phone everyday.
This happened for a long time.
This is something that made me scared every night. Anytime I saw him, I knew it would happen again. Anytime people left the room, I was terrified. I didn’t want to be hurt again, I didn’t want to bend over or have him inside my mouth. But how can a kid say no when an adult tells them to do something.
They say as years go by you eventually forget and you don’t feel like the person you were when it happened.
I was just a kid and though I’m no longer cry at the subject, my hands still tremble at the memory.
The most vivid memories I have of him was my auntie (his sister) walking into a yellow room. I sat on the bed, he stood in front of my with his pants down. I was relieved to see her. But the only thing she said was “It’s hot in here, open a window” and then she left. She knew what was going on and she let it continue
A night my sister and I angered him. he had us lay on the floor with our heads in the doorways. If we made a sound or started crying, he would yell and put his foot on our head, putting pressure on our heads until we understood to be quiet.
A dreaded phone call that lead to something I always wished for.....
“Did you tell anyone?” I felt sick just hearing those words.
“No.” I replied. I handed the phone to my mother. A few moments went by and a knock came to the door. The sound was enough to make me run. I locked myself in the bathroom. I turned the lights off, and before I even knew who god was, I prayed. I prayed and prayed that he wasn’t here for me.
“Please don’t let him find me” I prayed on the bathroom floor. My mom opened the front door, a few words were exchanged, then the door closed. I waited and kept listening.
My mother called my name but I was too scared to answer. I tried to play it cool. I unlocked and opened the door.
“What were you doing?” she asked,but only silence followed.
“Are you okay?” She got down to my level. And just like that I broke. I cried and cried and said I was sorry. That day I broke my mother’s heart, I told her everything. And as much as I was scared to tell anyone, little did I know that doing so would really set me free.
My mom, my angel, she handled everything from there. She was strong for me. She made a few calls. She made an arrangement with him. He would meet her at the gas station down the street to supposedly pick my sister and I up to spend the weekend at his house. When he got to that gas station, what was waiting for him i’m sure was a surprise. The cops and My grandfather were there. My grandfather Identified him before he was arrested.
I wasn’t even old enough to know that bad things could happen. I thank god everyday that he didn’t do anything to my sister. I’m thankful everyday that the truth set me free from this abuse. But I cry everyday knowing that there are children who know the same darkness and worse.....
janainaart
jacobvanloon
origamiaround
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