Life is a fuckening!

@hippehlonghair

120.6K posts

"I wish we met sooner" is such a gentle sentiment. I love you so much I not only want you in my future, but in my past too. I want to have known you when we were small stupid kids, have held hands together as we played outside. I want to have stressed out over exams together, nudging a mug of still steaming hot chocolate against your elbow to get you to focus. I want to have told you I love you before I did anyone else. I want to have held you in my arms when all those sad memories you describe to me were still fresh wounds. I want my past to have been full of you, and full of meaningful memories with you. I want my past lives to have been spent with you, whether as two lovers, or two housecats cuddling by the fireplace on a snowy day, or two flowers that just happened to bloom on the same day, next to each other. I want to have consumed your existence and intertwined it with my own since my birth, never to be separated from you for a moment. I want to have loved you throughout it all, for all time.

if i was born 500 years ago i would have been speculating that the two dudes who went to get firewood together were fucking

chat, how long do y’all think 500 years is. Romeo and Juliet was written in the 1500s. 500 years is not the Stone Age.

why do u think people stopped collecting firewood after caveman times

imsobadatnicknames2

Many such cases

flork-of-cows-official

burn out

badpsychicadvice

Internet hugs for anyone else out there dealing with burn out or other mental and/or physical issues that make it hard to interact right now

motherfuckingshakespeare

A HANDY CHART FOR THOSE OF YOU WONDERING WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THESE. NOTE THAT THESE ARE ALL THE INFORMAL AND YOU IS THE FORMAL SO LIKE YOU WOULD ALWAYS ADDRESS YOUR SUPERIOR/ OLDER PERSON/ SOCIAL BETTER WITH YOU BUT WITH YOUR BUDS YOU CAN USE THESE.

I’m not sure I knew the thy/thine distinction. Thanks for this!

extremely funny to me that Kermit the Frog is the only main overlap character between Sesame Street and The Muppets. imagine your day job is hanging out in a community of lovely people that genuinely just want to help kids learn and care about everyone so so much and then your night job is the reason that you have to stay up to date on your rabies AND tetanus vaccine

at noon the giant you're hanging out with is Big Bird! a wonderful fellow who likes reading stories and singing and telling fun facts! at midnight there's a giant named Sweetums who makes you feel like you're being hunted for sport

Ernie, trying to maybe come out to Kermit: well you know Kermit, me and Bert-

Bert: Bert and I

Ernie: Bert and I, we've been best friends forever, but we're also something else too!

Kermit, who every goddamn night has to tell Beaker and Bunsen to keep it professional, deal with Statler and Waldorf's bullshit, AND update his organizational chart on Dr. Teeth and the Electric Polycule: that's really great to hear fellas, happy for you two! :)

stellacartography

Grover, alarmed at having spilled some finger paint on Kermit's flipper: I am so sorry, Kermit. Please forgive me.

Kermit, who deals with a multitude of bodily fluids on his person and all over the theatre every evening, who is unintentionally trampled by large monsters as they exit the stage, and quite intentionally has his little froggy bones launched into a wall most nights by Miss Piggy: It's ok, Grover. I'm a frog. I love baths.

comicgeekscomicgeek

On Sesame Street: Oh, no, Telly is watching too much television!

The Muppet Show Theater, that night: Gonzo attempts to explain his latest fetish at length.

what's in the stupid sauce? My friend wants to know.

Ones and zeros and lust.

Did the the title of TADC ep 8: hjsakldfhl stand for something? Was it code for something? What does it mean??? Or was it just the button mash it appears to be... The theories are driving me NUTS.

It's a keyboard mash because I thought that'd be funny.

What would happen if Kaufmo didn't interrupt Jax and Ribbit's talk?

Something dreadfully homosexual.

Can I be honest with yall I don't want to hear SHIT against cishets at pride this year

"But it's not FOR them!!!" The biggest military power in the world belongs to a christofascist nation overseen by a felon found guilty of 34 federal crimes and has greenlit a gestapo with more direct funding than the entire military of Canada for the purpose of ethnic cleansing. Let Hetero Jessica throw some biodegradable glitter at a municipal parade

At this point if anyone is trying to exclude anyone benignly pro-queer from a pro-queer space I'm just going to assume you're a fed or something idk like something something destabilize the movement from within or whatever

I am making a VERY big point of the Ally flag in all my pride stuff at work.

Feel awkward about people maybe thinking you’re queer but still want to clearly signal “queers are okay with me”? SURE. LOVE IT. HERE’S YOUR WEIRD FLAG.

Don’t fucking at me about allies right now, they are ALSO actually getting fucking killed over us. Take your puri-gay shitty tent somewhere else mine is great with people’s cishet friends and relatives showing up to have our backs.

(“but what if they -“ shitty behavior is shitty behavior I don’t care if you INVENTED queer sex, if you’re acting like a douche i’ll kick you out. wanna act decent and accept the premises of queer coexistence and freedom, cool, i’m not judging you for feeling ok with the gender title they gave you in the delivery room or being attracted to people with the other standard issue title, grab a pop).

queercripintersex

Agreed, and also what the hell is is going to take for people to recognize that there are cishet queers? Intersex, asexual, and aromantic people are queer, it's exclusionary to be using cishet as a synonym for nonqueer.

#to add nuance i do think it's important to have safe spaces to take a break from nonqueer heteronormativity #and i think unfortunately this weird wave of queer purity (which let's face it. is just another means of dividing us) is taking this stance #to the extreme which does unfortunately exclude not just allies but as mentioned before excludes queer cishets which yes do exist #and i don't wanna hear shit feom people who are already being queerphobic in our queer spaces #not to mention in case anyone forgot. we are literally in the middle of a TRANS GENOCIDE IN THE US. we NEED all the allies we can get #to stay alive! bc once our oppressors are done with us they're coming for you next. so no you're not “one of the good ones” you are a pawn #in their facist game

butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway

"Just because I'm right, doesn't mean I'm being helpful" is a vastly underrated thought process that I strongly encourage others to get comfortable with

midnightmurdershow

Planet Earth (2006) Season 01 Episode 11 “Ocean Deep” Directed by Alastair Fothergill

It's called bodily autonomy, you douchebags, fucking let old people do what they want. I hope she died with her back blown out and absolutely blasted on her substance of choice.

Yeah, bodily autonomy and the dignity of risk and the fucking fact that if you're dying anyway, there's no benefit whatsoever to wasting your last hours of earthly existence in the bland beige walls of a nursing home or hospital and it should not only be allowed but offered as a service to bring the dead or dying (or not dying yet) person out into the world to enjoy those parts of it that aren't allowed inside the bland beige walls of a nursing home or hospital.

Let them be taken outside. Let them be taken home. Let them be taken to their favorite places. Let them use their substances of choice. Let them see their pets. Let them do really inadvisable bucket list items. Let them risk precipitating their deaths. Let them go out on their own terms, and also let them hang out on their own terms in the meantime.

Also, deschedule ALL drugs for people on hospice. "You can't do that, you might die" "I have some news for you about the existing situation." I mean come on.

(Minnesota recently passed a "happy hour" law allowing nursing home patients to drink alcohol. It's a good first step.)

rowan-e-ravenwood

"you have to enjoy your childhood because you'll have to give it all up when you get older" SKILL ISSUE. growing up rules because you can actually just keep doing all the stuff you were doing before, except now you can also do MORE things. enjoy your childhood, don't try to grow up too fast, but like. nobody's going to flip some magic switch that makes it so you can no longer watch kids' shows and play with toys. but now? you can also watch adult shows and get excited over cookware. Big Adulthood won't tell you this, but it's literally true

arcandoria-archived

crossposting from bsky - glad I stopped using spotify when I did and that I unlinked it from my discord, but still

[ reddit thread | bsky post ]

nightmare-from-heaven

say it with me: "the question mark is questionable"

and cut that shit right out

no but the “”ai”” boom is crazy bc they made the entire internet so shitty that the only reason to use it is because it’s where all the people are and now they’re getting rid of the people. like i’m straight up logging off and going to the library there’s nothing on here anymore

‘here’s how to tell if an image is ai’ ‘signs the person you’re talking to is a bot’ ‘how to tell if a song is ai generated’ ah but consider this: i am shutting my laptop and walking outside

"This self-described WWII history buff, I mean big doofus, didn't recognize the third most recognizable Nazi symbol, let's elect him US Senator."

Life is a fuckening! @hippehlonghair - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag