Thoughts of a Hippie Mama @hippiemama522 - Tumblr Blog

I don't know how I'm feeling right now. On the one hand I'm a little blah still, but on the other I'm feeling really excited. I'm planning a trip to see the person who is pretty much my best friend although I've never met her yet, and hopefully we'll be on our way in 3-4 weeks. It'll only be for 2ish days but I'm so excited for our kids to play and stuff. ❤❤ As I lay here and feel movement from my uterus, I wonder who this being will be. Will I have another girl, or my first boy? I have no feeling this time so I'm anxiously awaiting birth to find out. It's going to be so exciting. Will they be quiet and reserved or loud and outgoing? What will they like? Will they be affectionate? Will they prefer me or their dad? Mysteries that I'm so intrigued to know. ❤

In today's edition of "nobody cares," hub's new ring will be here today, not that anyone cares. Still don't know how I'm going to give it to him, since he doesn't know it's coming and I want to do something sweet. Asked for suggestions and got literally nothing.

#nobody cares

The Babadook

This movie is making me so sad. I just want to rescue this poor sweet boy. 😭

I know that I'm only writing this for myself, but...

I am sad. I feel like no one really cares much about me right now. I have a lot going on but nowhere to really talk about it. On the one hand my relationship is stronger than it's been in a very long time, but on the other, building things on a shaky foundation as far as trust goes means that one small indiscretion can make you question everything and if it's real. I just want everything to be good. I just want to not question anything. I want to blindly trust my husband. I want to know beyond doubt that when he tells me something it's fact. I'm just not sure how to completely move past it. I can forgive, or at least I think I can, but I don't know how to not let it make me question things.

I miss my sister.

I want to go on movie dates with her. Have sleepovers. Have her babysit my babies. Help her get ready for dances. I want to be there for her. Why are people such assholes? I want more than a Snapchat relationship with my baby sister, but that isn't going to happen for at least a few more years. Considering the fact that we're moving out of state before she turns 18, it likely won't happen then either. I just miss my sister.