Thereâs a reason lots of good parents say to babies stuff like
âYouâre excited to go to the park!â
âOh, it makes you mad that we canât go outside.â
And then when the babies get a little bit older the parents can say
âYou seem upset. Are you sad?â
âAre you excited that gramma is coming over today?â
Which lets the kid (who is learning to utilize speech) respond with yes or no, which may prompt more questions, like
âSo you arenât sad, are you angry?â
âYes, does it make you happy when gramma is here?â
And then, finally, when the child is learning to use language in a more complex way, the parents can say,
âHow does it make you feel?â
âWhy are you feeling like that?â
And itâs all about teaching emotional awareness. I really reccomend using the process on yourself. Learn to ask, âam I happy?â âAm I sad?â âAm I anxious?â
Then practice identifying, out loud or on paper if you can, âIâm happy.â âIâm upset.â âIâm sad.â âIâm anxious.â
Final step: âWhy am I feeling anxious? Iâm still thinking about that awkward conversation earlier.â âWhy am I happy? Itâs such a beautiful day outside.â âWhy am I sad? None of my friends are responding to my messages.â
It really helps you notice patterns (âIâm more likely to be happy when Iâm around this person.â âWhen I havenât eaten, I often feel angry.â âIf I donât plan ahead, I get anxious.â) which is the first step in avoiding things and people that are bad for you and encouraging things and people that are good.