[ restarted on @hizuchii ]

[xmhs]

2kSVT: a year in review

[worstsimpsonspageever]

[moonbin-osaur]

Let’s take a moment to appreciate Astro meeting their six years old aroha from Canada

[tardisblue-pandas-deactivated20]

Smart and lazy is a horrible combination that results in disappointed teachers, exasperated friends and a whole lot of bad doodling

[wytchlock-deactivated20200207]

Oh shit this was literally me in school

[the-impossible-mind-deactivated]

Don’t forget those angry parents and half finished homework assignments crumpled in your binders

[reganmariie]

Im smart and tired I want to do good but i dont feel like trying anymore

[zacksnyder]

You let this little thing tell you what to do?

[wizards]

Well then, get your shit together. Get it all together. And put it in a backpack. All your shit. So it’s together. And if you gotta take it somewhere, take it somewhere. You know? Take it to the shit store and sell it. Or put it in a shit museum, I don’t care what you do, you just gotta get it together. Get your shit together.

Sirius Black to James Potter, after listening about how nice Lily Evans smells for three hours.  (via incorrect-hp)

[fanonical]

a youtube series that’s a vlog-style retelling of the harry potter books from the perspective of random background gryffindors who were on the sidelines for everything

[freyae-deactivated20180114]

It does not do to dwell on dreams, Harry, and forget to live.

[tamper]

[wlwvoltron]

reblog if you're a lancey lance stan

[klanced]

lotor can meet me in the goddamn gladiator pit for putting this look on allura’s face

[wlwvoltron]

season three had its problems but lance wasn’t reduced to flirting, hunk wasn’t a walking talking food joke, allura was a paladin, and klance is literally seconds away from being canon so as far as i’m concerned it was a great season

[phantomcree]

Mleh.

River, Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator (via latenightfolly)

[kristoffblogman]

So I downloaded that “are you guys fucking right in front of my salad?” porno to see what the context of that situation could possibly be and OH BOY what a thrilling story

The bear (Jaxton Wheeler) hires a twunk (Jake Porter) to cook dinner to surprise his wife but apparently didn’t read the ad because twunk is a NAKED chef and only cooks NAKED. So he starts stripping off to prepare the surprise dinner to bear’s surprise, who asks him to put his clothes back on but as he’s pulling his pants back up bear reaches down and starts groping his ass!

“You know what? You can keep the clothes off.” 

Twunk strips back down again and puts on an apron as bear continues to stare at his bare ass. Twunk must have a bad understanding of what the word “chef” means because the dinner he starts to prepare consists of a container of prepackaged salad leaves and a chopped up cucumber (featuring lots of lingering camera shots of said cucumber). As he’s starting to cut up a bell pepper, bear comes up behind him and starts spooning him. 

“Working hard, huh?”  “Kind of. Hungry?”  “You could say I’m working up an appetite.”

Bear starts kissing the back of twunk’s neck and grabbing at his ass.

“I see you brought some extra groceries!”

They start making out and regular old boring vanilla men.com gay porn ensues until suddenly…

PLOT TWIST!

2/3 of the way into the video, bear’s WIFE comes home while they’re fucking doggy style over the kitchen counter but doesn’t seem to notice what’s happening.

“Hey babe! What’s going on in here?” “Oh well I got you a surprise today, I hired a chef to come by and make you this wonderful salad!”

Wife is very excited about her salad and doesn’t seem to notice the moaning or facial expressions twunk is making while bear is plowing him from behind. Wife takes a bite of salad before noticing twunk is only wearing an apron, bear tries to make excuses.

“…you don’t have a shirt on.” “It’s really hot in here hon.” “Wait a minute do you have pants on? Are you guys fucking? Are you serious? Right in front of my salad? You guys are fucking gross!”

Wife gets up and storms out of the house.

“Ma’am… the… salad…” “She’s not gonna be finishing it.” “She’s not coming back?” “No, so you might as well just bend down for me, let me finish that ass.”

They get right back fucking, twunk cums, bear cums.

“Why don’t you clean up instead of making dessert.” “Okay.”

Fade to black, no mention of the salad or the wife or the ruined marriage.

[sculptureoflimitations-deactiva]

“Right in front of my salad?” girl for Best Supporting Actress.

[cherryaire]

Amanda Transparent Gifs from Dream Daddy! You’re welcome. :)

[earako]

PROTECT THIS PRECIOUS CHILD