I think this is a really good time to admit that I am deeply attracted to ralph fiennes as monsieur gustave in the grand budapest hotel and im sick and tired of hiding it
the head I would give this man is genuinely diabolical and I won’t burden you guys with it but it’s gonna get messy I’ll just say that. That side profile is IMPECCABLE and I fear he is way too underrated. The pressed suit, perfectly shaven face?! gimmie that. why tf men gotta be all scruffy when all we really want is a man like him </3
I feel very strongly about edward norton in moonrise kingdom. he’s like..pathetic in a cute way and I really like that. like what if we ran off together like suzy and sam? that’s literally all a girl can ever dream of. I hate real men, why can’t they have whimsy like him?
don’t even get me started on jason schwartzman in this damn movie. yeah..it’s all over the screen..JOKING JOKING
I LOVE YOUR BLOGS SO MUCH, I just discovered you and damn I think we're secret twins, I could literally talk to you for hours about jason Schwartzman's mustache
HEYYYY TWIN THANK YOU THANK YOU POOKIEEEE! Jason’s moustache is something else oh my lord don’t even get me STARTED.
LORDY, FITH BEATLE WHO? 😭 bro knows he’s doing something and he’s PROUD. Y’know fun fact about me I’d eat crumbs from that delectable looking thing WOAH WHO SAID THAT WHAT?!. Anyways, im doing backflips on that d every night. Not ashamed to say that. Also the stubble guys, THE SHADOW. Brushing my face against it like a damn cat. YOU KNOW I LIKE HIM A BIT SCRUFFY. Also why didn’t my boy keep this look for longer?! I am absolutely fawning over him and I know were talking about the moustache but that damn..that damn hand.
hi, it’s me again. just wanted to say that i love your blog almost as much as i love wes movies; you make such insightful comments on each of the characters i can’t even believe it.
anyway, please could you write something for jack whitman? maybe something where him and reader meet on the train in india and have a cute little love affair? thanks!! <3
Elk Cracker—Jack Whitman x reader
summary: Jack finds you crying on the train, all alone. Love pursues.
a/n:..um brother I am SO sorry this took me like 7 months to write, I got logged out of this account and I couldn’t be assed logging back in. forgive me pookie. anywayyyy I hope the 10 people this will please love it!
warnings: his gf doesn’t exist or Rita( SORRRYYYYY), it’s pretty soft, talk about jacking off, crying, love, making out, Jack is as accurate as I could get him without being a creep, just flufff (for now), they get freaky at the end presumably, they just just met so it’s a tad awkward.
word count: 1.5k
The night was cold and the train was even colder, Jack was contemplating the meaning of his stupid life while looking out the window. Peter was munching on a cracker like a hungry elk, and Francis was.. jack hadn’t actually seen him for a while now he thought of it. Not that he cared, he was honestly itching for a release. A sweet, American-..
“I’m getting some air, alone.” Peters soft, slightly pissed off, voice mumbled as he stood up to leave. Jack nodded and hid a smile, this was perfect. He had the carriage to himself, perfect time to jack off a bit and free some stress.
The man reached down to unzip his fly, he didn’t even bother glancing around to see if anybody was watching. He figured the absolute nut job tourists around here could use a good show, might do them some good. Jack wasn’t even hard yet, it was pathetic and he knew it, but he was a man after all. So he pulled down his boxers.
But before jack could get to helping himself out he heard something that caught his mind, a soft sobbing. He cocked his head back in surprise, who the hell was crying at 2 in the morning? He swallowed his lust and zipped up his pants. This would have to wait.—
Jack made his was towards the soft cries, rubbing his groggy eyes as he passed shirtless old tourists. Why was nobody else concerned about this? He sighed as he walked, silently hoping he didn’t run into Francis or Peter. Jack made his way to the very end of the carriage. He was confused, where the hell were these sobs coming from?
He turned his head and that’s when he saw the suspect, you. You were leaning against the wall, crying your eyes out as you held yourself in a ball. Jack stared for a few seconds as he bit back the urge to take a photo.
This was poetic gold. He pretended to bump into something, sighing and reaching down to grab what he had dropped. You had only noticed him just then, like he had planned. Your eyes widened and you were quick to wipe away your tears, looking the exact opposite way. Jack stared awkwardly before clearing his throat.
“You uh..you’re crying.” He pointed out bluntly, looking at you.
You stared up at Jack, your cheeks flushing slightly from the embarrassment of being caught. “Oh, um, I didn’t mean for anyone to see…” Your voice trailed off as you fumbled with your sleeves, trying to hide the redness in your eyes.
Jack shuffled his feet awkwardly, clearly unsure of how to proceed. “I didn’t mean to intrude,” he said, his voice a bit hesitant. “I just heard, um, crying and thought maybe… I don’t know, maybe you needed someone to talk to?”
You looked at him, surprised by his offer. “I didn’t expect anyone to notice,” you admitted quietly, avoiding eye contact.
Jack gave a small, reassuring smile, trying to be comforting despite his own awkwardness. “Well, if you, um, want to talk or something, I’m here. I mean, you don’t have to, but…”
You took a deep breath, finding some comfort in his presence. “It’s just been one of those nights where everything feels too much. I thought getting away for a bit would help, but…”
Jack’s gaze softened as he listened. “Sometimes trips don’t turn out the way we expect. If you want to, um, talk about it, I’m here. Or if you just need some quiet..I’ll just go.”
“Thanks..” you mumbled.
Jack smiled faintly, relieved to see you opening up a bit. “Alright, I’ll be here. And, uh, if you want to hear somethin’ silly or distracting, just let me know. I’m, um, pretty good at that too.”
You managed a small, shy smile.
Jack gave a light nod and settled into a nearby seat, giving you the space you needed while remaining close enough to be supportive. The two of you sat in quiet companionship, and the train’s rhythmic hum seemed to make the night a bit more bearable.
A few beats passed where nothing was said, just silence. Until eventually in the silence came your voice.
“I’m y/n..” you declared softly and shrugged, looking over at him.
Jack perked up a bit and tilted his head at your words, he mulled over your words before he finally smiled to himself and nodded.
“Jack.” He replied softly, you smiled at his name and moved so you could sit near him. He stared you down and smiled right back. He missed sweet moments like this, he was a tad touch starved to be fair. He moved to boldly wipe a tear away from your face.
“Pretty faces like yours look beautiful with tears on them, but I bet you look cute without them too, hm?” He whispered and you felt a soft blush cover your cheeks. You giggled bashfully and shrugged your shoulders. He was a little cheesy but you couldn’t be bothered to care.
Jack felt bold in the moonlight, maybe if was the aura of the air, but he felt like kissing you. Slowly he moved a strand away from your face and you blushed some more.
“A kiss might help..” You whispered and averted your gaze, he smiled and nodded his head. He leaned forward and that was that.
your lips met his and you both sunk into a soft kiss, the sound of smooches filled the air and if hearts could fly like those cartoons—they most definitely would. Jack pulled you closer and put you onto of him, leaning himself into the edge of the seat and the wall so you were draped on him. A weird position but it was comfortable and it was honestly calming you down.
You and him stayed like that for a a while until the telltale sign of a man clearing his throat jump scared you and Jack. Jack looked past you to see Peter, who looked like he’d seen a ghost. Although he wasn’t all surprised.
Jack swallowed and gave him and wave, and then in the heat of it all moved to kiss you again.
Peter sighed and moved to walk off again, leaving you and Jack to your thing. Jack smiled against the kiss and pulled back to stare at you.
“I’m going to take you like an elk eating a cracker.” He drawled out, and you furrowed your brows. A giggle escaped you.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” You asked and he started to laugh as well, shrugging his shoulders.
“I dunno, just wanted to make you laugh.” He admitted.
———
And at that, that single joke, was the start of everything and nothing. Some may say causal holiday hookup, but the postcards you and him sent each-other after the trip proved otherwise.
From one Wes Anderson blog to another, thanks for helping keep this community alive I am so delighted whenever I see anyone else remotely Wes Anderson obsessed.
I AGREE WITH THIS STATEMENT. We need to help keep the Wes Anderson community alive because I swear to god his movies give me life. Something about them is just soooooooooooo unmatched by other movies.
I feel silly posting this but I need to express my feelings I don’t care. I wanna give him head, that sounds so bad considering he’s nearly 2 decades older than me but um who really cares?
I watched Scott pilgrim last night and when I realised it was Jason playing that stupid little emo Gideon I DIED. My last 2 hours have been spent watching edits of Jason, I printed out photos of him and stuck them on my wall, I watched 1 hours worth of interviews just for him. And in all honesty..the reason I saw the new hunger games was because he was in it.. don’t tell anybody.
Also his hands are really hot. Usually hair on men’s hands make me feel gross, but Jason? I want them is inside me. WOAH WHO SAID THAT??!
I don’t really have to think, I just know me and him are connected universally. He is so scrummy yummy, like I feel like he is soup (don’t ask where I got that annotation..) fourteen year old me used to watch fight club religiously..so when I started watching Wes Anderson and slowly figured Edward was a reoccurring actor..you can guess how ecstatic I was.
ALSO..his voice 🤤 I could listen to it for hours.. AND I MEAN HOURS. I think I have a voice kink..just for him. Is that bad..is it bad I find a man nearly 2 decades older than me hot?.. yeah probably but like who really cares? 😋
He is SO bad in this movie. He’s an annoying prick who needs to back off, get a life, and forget the painting. Having said that..
I NEED HIM IN MY BED, like right now. I understand him, bro was just angry because he wanted some revenge and he craved the money. He was just being silly, guys. I’m going to be honest, when I first watched this movie whenever he was on screen I didn’t process anything he was saying and just stared at him THE WHOLE TIME.
You know the scene where he’s in the elevator with Agatha and there’s just a shot of his hand?:
I DIED, this is my Roman Empire. I can’t explain it, actually I can. I want that hand somewhere very particular..anyway! 😇
What’s a photo (Wes Anderson themed obvi 🤭) that makes you crumble to your knees
The raw masculine hotness cologne aftershave kinda stinky energy coming off this picture is crazy and it’s affecting me physically.
The Darjeeling Limited bts pic!
You already know what I’m thinking, let me be that motorbike right now. I NEED THEM ALL AT ONCE, I DONT CARE IF THAT WOULD HURT GIVE ME THEM
Okay..I got a little carried away there. Let’s talk about this photo a bit. Okay first off, Jason is so short it’s making me want to put him in my pocket. His hair in this movie never fails to make me laugh but also get on my knees and beg for him to notice me.
Secondly, Owen Wilson is looking pretty cutesy here..I mean he in the whole time but like he’s looking extra yummy in this movie. Smash.
DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON ADRIEN BRODY..he can beat me up, degrade me, spit on me, piss on me, run me over, ANYTHING, and I would still want him in my bed. Him in this movie is just chefs kiss..
If you haven’t watched The Darjeeling Limited you should, it’s entertaining asf and I’ve watched it about 50 times not even joking.
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