hoffguy

old man ohio

[birdsean]

[yorickless]

[2009100000z9003007x]

there are over 100 items on earth

[yungsquidward]

[fellator]

doesn't it piss you off that you have to find something to eat every single day. every one of them. just every day. you gotta eat something

[serenadeformice-deactivated2025]

Everyone loves me for my repetitive speech, my odd noises, my constant forgetfulness, and my repetitive speech

[babizzxx]

[strayknight]

the thing about speaking truthfully from your heart and also being deadpan in your tone is that people will think that you are constantly lying or are being sarcastic. i have never lied about anything ever. except for the times i did lie. but most of those times it was either for the bit or because i thought it would be funny.

[scenetorrents]

have you noticed the whole thing coming apart at the seams lately

[3liza]

ok i gotta get my shit together. i gotta close all these tabs

[serpientes]

[mousegirlheart]

they should make a wetter water that hydrates you 5 times as much. it should feel like a videogame health potion. instant healing. instant hydration.

[hoffguy]

[wxmatija]

[dreadwedge]

used to be people would say things like "avast" or "hither and yon". nowadays folks mostly say stuff like "ethernet cable"

[alpineshepherdlass]

[sickjacket]

Crossing your legs is underrated. The subtle pressure of unyielding outside knee against the soft flesh of your own lower leg is one of the few true pleasures I can reliably expect on a daily basis

[visenyaism]

Through has got to be my least favorite way out

[3liza]