Life Is Definately Like A Box Of Chocolates

[holdingontothekitestrings]

Very first ice cream

[holdingontothekitestrings]

Men who abandon their families

The next news my son only three months had to have cardiac surgery urgently. As a wife you naturally ask the husband who recently walked out unexpectedly one evening when going to the shop to buy Diet Coke and never coming back. Naturally though the person you think you can rely on to look after your other four children whilst you go in hospital for several weeks with your baby needing urgent heart surgery is their father.. his answer was no sorry ... what kind of animal does that . Not even an ounce of care or even an ounce of maintenance ! Child abandonment and failing to pay child support should be criminalised! Fathers should have to pay and care or go to prison

[holdingontothekitestrings]

The best gift god gave us .

[holdingontothekitestrings]

Byholdingontothekitestrings

[holdingontothekitestrings]

Truth

[holdingontothekitestrings]

Holdingontothekitestrings

[holdingontothekitestrings]

[holdingontothekitestrings]

When someone poops on you from a great height and it hits everything around 2

Hi again ,

So my baby was born, he was smaller than expected and a bit distressed thank God he was born by c section ! He wasn’t put immediately to my breast unlike my other babies … Zec short for Zechariah was zoomed off to the neonatal intensive care unit . My husband looked at me with disgust and showed absolutely no interest in his newborn ! In fact people he had to be told by a midwife to go see his son as he was being resuscitated ! I was taken back to the ward luckily I was given a private room. In the UK the midwifery service can be seen as cold and it can certainly be seen that way when after a C section , which is major surgery , you have to sort yourself out , take yourself to the loo after a spinal because no one responds to the buzzer you’ve pressed ten minutes ago , and then after you’ve expressed the breast milk because your baby is in an incubator and your legs are like lead , your stomach hurts you still have to somehow support your wound and walk down to the dinner trolley and carry a tray of food back to your bedside. As I was a midwife I have every right to be critical of the lack of care ! Later on no I My baby was examined by a junior neonatal Doctor who thought he heard a heart murmur …The big guns consultant came along and said “Nah no heart murmur” I noted this mentally in case I needed to challenge this later. I was uncomfortable and exhausted and it was to say the least a challenge walking down the hospital corridors from the postnatal ward to the neonatal unit where my newborn son was nursed in an incubator. Like most mummy’s I wanted to be with my precious little bundle and I was eager to breastfeed . Breastfeeding was hugely difficult as my son had a weak suck and horrendous reflux from his first feed . I was expressing too as the feeding was too brief for it to give him what he needed two hourly he was fed via an NG tube and he had skin to skin and the first attempts at feeding . His blood sugar which had been low was being maintained day five he was allowed onto transitional care and was from then until day of discharge on day twelve allowed to stay with me . By this time he had started to need phototherapy due to jaundice. Over the next few days I battled to encourage a weight gain in Zec ! All the time I was detailing my concerns to the midwife who asked me if he was my first because breastfeeding etc had been so difficult!

By day twelve we went home as his bilirubin level had stabilised, I fought for an appointment to see the consultant regarding my concerns and the prolonged jaundice though still present had stabilised . My husband had showed little interest and kept sleeping on the couch I thought he was trying to get a handle on things.

The reality he had given up on us! On our family and by the definition by the time Zec was 8 weeks old my husband had left and given up on him. He went to the shop on Halloween 2015 and never returned home! No explanation nothing.!!! At twelve weeks we were given the diagnosis of Williams Syndrome. The consultant then found a heart murmur… well what do you know !!! To note my husband said nothing and asked no questions The consultant later told me that was totally narcissistic ! So what then … find out later,

[holdingontothekitestrings]

L

[holdingontothekitestrings]

When someone poops on you from a great height and it hits everything around 2

Hi again , So my baby was born, he was smaller than expected and a bit distressed thank God he was born by c section ! He wasn't put immediately to my breast unlike my other babies ... Zec short for Zechariah was zoomed off to the neonatal intensive care unit . My husband looked at me with disgust and showed absolutely no interest in his newborn ! In fact people he had to be told by a midwife to go see his son as he was being resuscitated ! I was taken back to the ward luckily I was given a private room. In the UK the midwifery service can be seen as cold and it can certainly be seen that way when after a C section , which is major surgery , you have to sort yourself out , take yourself to the loo after a spinal because no one responds to the buzzer you've pressed ten minutes ago , and then after you've expressed the breast milk because your baby is in an incubator and your legs are like lead , your stomach hurts you still have to somehow support your wound and walk down to the dinner trolley and carry a tray of food back to your bedside. As I was a midwife I have every right to be critical of the lack of care ! Later on no I My baby was examined by a junior neonatal Doctor who thought he heard a heart murmur ...The big guns consultant came along and said "Nah no heart murmur" I noted this mentally in case I needed to challenge this later. I was uncomfortable and exhausted and it was to say the least a challenge walking down the hospital corridors from the postnatal ward to the neonatal unit where my newborn son was nursed in an incubator. Like most mummy's I wanted to be with my precious little bundle and I was eager to breastfeed . Breastfeeding was hugely difficult as my son had a weak suck and horrendous reflux from his first feed . I was expressing too as the feeding was too brief for it to give him what he needed two hourly he was fed via an NG tube and he had skin to skin and the first attempts at feeding . His blood sugar which had been low was being maintained day five he was allowed onto transitional care and was from then until day of discharge on day twelve allowed to stay with me . By this time he had started to need phototherapy due to jaundice. Over the next few days I battled to encourage a weight gain in Zec ! All the time I was detailing my concerns to the midwife who asked me if he was my first because breastfeeding etc had been so difficult! By day twelve we went home as his bilirubin level had stabilised, I fought for an appointment to see the consultant regarding my concerns and the prolonged jaundice though still present had stabilised . My husband had showed little interest and kept sleeping on the couch I thought he was trying to get a handle on things. The reality he had given up on us! On our family and by the definition by the time Zec was 8 weeks old my husband had left and given up on him. He went to the shop on Halloween 2015 and never returned home! No explanation nothing.!!! At twelve weeks we were given the diagnosis of Williams Syndrome. The consultant then found a heart murmur... well what do you know !!! To note my husband said nothing and asked no questions The consultant later told me that was totally narcissistic ! So what then ... find out later,

[holdingontothekitestrings]

When someone poops on you from a great f***ing height and it hits everything in sight 💩🙇‍♀️

This is my first write ….. it took me almost two years to clean up the poop to a point where it was hygienic enough to write .. I’m forty six and not as toned or pretty as I was nineteen years ago when I met my baby daddy and ex. It’s the usual shit ! Life is so fucking predictable although perversely individual . Basically the ex and I had four children together and after a gap and my ex’s first affair we got pregnant again. I know some of you will be saying stupid . To you it might be stupid but not to me ! Being pregnant again was something I had tried to avoid my youngest was eight, I was the main bread winner and we didn’t really plan to have another mouth to feed but I’m Christian and my faith has to be lived literally or what’s faith? … basically as a nurse, midwife and health visitor I’d seen enough birth, miscarriage , abortion and death to really understand how precious life is .. I was forty four and the natural contraceptive methods like ovulation prediction didn’t work as well as they used to . Hormonally my body was changing and we needed a More reliable method , many contraceptives actually prevent the egg embedding and not the egg being released and fertilised and those methods with my pro life stance meant that personally a fertilised egg being prevented from embedding in a juicy uterus was equivalent to an abortion ( remember here I’ve said personally folks! ) Anyway I get pregnant , the ex says oh we’ll be fine ( I’d asked him and booked him in at the docs for a vasectomy more than once - he chickened out ) , So he said we can cope we have done it before , I trusted him and I got my head around the fact that I was pregnant, I put more weight on than ever! My age and weakened abdominal muscles I was an elderly multip ! And felt like I had a flashing light on my head at antenatal appointments telling everyone hey elderly multip here! ( multip is meaning multi parity - pregnant multiple times ! ). I didn’t look great and I could see my ex looking at me like I was some kind of f***ing alien from planet ugly zog 🤢! I never checked up on my ex, his phone or his computer, I felt secure, he didn’t contribute much financially , as a father or a husband but I was too blind, busy, stupid or all three to notice a problem ! I trusted him as per the marriage vows and believed his in sickness and health rubbish ! Any way the pregnancy carried on , I felt like something wasn’t right but didn’t know how accurate this gut feeling was going to prove to be ! ….. I will tell you more in my next post . By for now xxx