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[bornbreathless-a-deactivated202]

@holistic-ass liked for a starter

She doesn’t know exactly how it is that they’ve crossed paths, an entire world to explore and two Blackwing projects still manage to run into each other. Probably the universe pulling some of its usual bullshit. Not that Char minds much, she quite likes Bart; it’s easy to, when you don’t have to worry about her deciding you need to die. Even Bart might struggle killing a dead woman.

So she’d taken the other woman for ice-cream, from her favourite stand in the park where they could watch the ducks. And watch the definitely-not-an-agent try to look like he was reading a newspaper.

“You know that they’re definitely still following us, right? Blackwing, that is.”

[holistic-ass]

Creamed ice. What will humanity come up with next? Bart bites confidently into the sweet, cold treat- and immediately regrets it. She recoils in embarrassment, nearly dropping the entire cone into the dirt in the process. It seemed her treat would be a challenging one.

“I know,” Bart affirms, still very absorbed in her ice cream. “We could probably lose them with all these people around.” She doesn’t spare those people a glance, or any mind at all. Tuning out the hustle made it much easier to think. “Hey, how do you make ice creamy?”

[bornbreathless-a-deactivated202]

On the 12th hour of the first day of October 1989, 43 women around the world gave birth.

Sir Reginald Hargreeves, eccentric billionaire and adventurer, resolved to locate and adopt as many of the children as possible.

He didn’t get this one.

Indie TUA original character OC/AU/crossover friendly Established 03/04/2019 Loved by Stitch

[holistic-ass]

gentlegently‌:

                     “ It means — ” Well, what DOES it mean? What does any of it mean? Why are they fated to constantly cross paths, each time in differing states of disarray and, frankly, blood-curdling terror? What was he even rambling on about just a moment ago?! It’s hardly the first time all coherent thought is kicked right out of his brain by Bart’s presence alone, but he most definitely does  n o t   appreciate it happening just when he was trying to smart off! “ It means that my name’s been subjected to more creative mutilations in the past. Nicer ones, too. Look, I’m not going around calling you Fart, either, am I? ”

                    Oh, God. Bad idea, probably! Most likely! Maybe even DEFINITELY! The detective feels the colour draining from his face at a staggering velocity. Shooting off his mouth at an unstoppably blood-thirsty assassin must certainly rank first among his top three worst choices of the day, effortlessly taking in stride the long-expired fish cake he gobbled for breakfast and his misguided squabble with a flock of nine-year-olds { which is a whole other story he has no particular wish to recall }. “ I mean, that ———— came out wrong. Please don’t do any precipitate killy things we’d both come to regret! ”

She shakes her head a little prematurely, ready to accept that Dirk didn’t even know what the words he used meant. Maybe he just said them to sound impressive? Bart could understand that. She was, after all, quite impressed with them. Not that she could repeat them again... linguisitical amphibians? Unbitions? Truly, Bart was grateful that he simplified the answer as much as he did. Fart! How delightful. A nickname of her very own!

With nicknames exchanged, best friendship status had surely been achieved, then. Bart’s joy expresses itself perhaps as frighteningly as her rage, and her confusion, and her resting bitch face. Childish humour bids her to cackle as though one of them actually had farted, and clap her hands together approvingly.

She steps closer to her now 100% confirmed best friend, arm reaching out to pat his shoulder in a manner she hopes is friendly. It seemed she simply had to accept that Dirk was always afraid. Or afraid of her? One or the other, at least.

“I don’t need to kill anyone right now,” she promises. Was that reassuring? A shrug, and then a curious whiff of fish catches her attention. Without asking, Bart leans in close to sniff sniff sniff at Dirk’s breath. Definitely fishy...

[occasional-owl]

[holistic-ass]

better shoot it and find out...

[sharkcats-deactivated20190613]

[holistic-ass]

“Hey, so- you know how some people are just, like... really short?” She’d seen them before, walking around with their arms and legs out of proportion of their heads. Usually with other, taller humans. “And- and their heads look kind of big?” She tries to match her question with interpretive arm-flailing, hoping to accurately portray the kind of person she was referring to. That they could simply be referred to as “children” seemed to escape her. 

“Well, yeah, so what’s that about?” She frowns. “Do they have like, a disease or something?”

[chameleonwren-deactivated202408]

i stan one (1) supervisor adams

[holistic-ass]

supervisor adams is very important to me..

[bloodimagery]

blood imagery; a recurring image of blood

Independent canon divergent Warden-Commander SURANA,   Multiverse (in various fandoms) and open to Crossovers

[holistic-ass]

@gentlegently​ continued from here

It’s like a little light flicks on behind Bart’s eyes as she takes in the rare occurrence before her: someone speaking to her, looking at her in the face and everything, and even going so far as to remember her name. Her real name, not the frustrating title that Blackwing slapped over her identity. She keeps grinning at Dirk, jaw parting to catch her tongue between teeth. It would be very easy to ruin the moment - it always was with Dirk, it seemed. One moment he would be kind and co-operative, shouting his own name, and the next he’d be running away or something similarly daft and annoying.

Speaking might well ruin the moment, so Bart lets him ramble on. He certainly knew more words than Bart did - “linguistically unambitious?” Bart chuckles. It sure didn’t sound as impressive in her rough voice. Other people always did talking better than her.

“I don’t really know what that means,” there’s no point in being ashamed about it, after all. She shrugs away the other questions; want and why were also something other people did better. A sharp tsk punctuates her words, as exasperation twists her features. 

[holistic-ass]

// i’m drawing supervisor ken atm bc 👀👀 reasons 👀 and his suit is tailored perfectly to his body type like.... imagine ken convincing hugo to bring in a tailor for that suit tho

[sweet-innocent-scp-moved-deacti]

[[ @holistic-ass ]]

“The doctors here aren’t that bad. Sometimes they give me presents and sweets, but…I wish they could us freedom.”

[holistic-ass]

“You get presents and sweets?” Bart frowns. That was just unfair. Then she shakes her head and tries the lock on the young prisoner’s cage. Stuck. “Sorry.” She shrugs. 

[holistic-ass]

“You look...” Bart hums awkwardly, hovering above the stranger with a bloody knife and what felt like tears in her eyes. Though, she couldn’t imagine actually crying - that was what people did when they got hurt and Bart surely, definitely, very obviously was not (physically) hurt. “-Sad?” She guesses. “Are you sad?”

[holistic-cinnamon-roll]

“To catch them is my real test, to hurt them is my cause”

Blackwing - Gotta catch ‘em all

[holistic-ass]

“To keep them contained for longer than a day is my real test...”

[seasonadaykindoffan]

[holistic-ass]

The stranger’s body slumps to the floor unceremoniously, as the scent of something fresh and hot catches Bart’s nose and consumes her. The growling in her stomach oh so helpfully reminds her of her hunger, and she eagerly scopes out the delicious smell. 

A small brown parcel with a mysterious M emblazoned on the front seems to be emitting the scent... clutched in her latest victim’s hand. Bart gives it no thought, bending to claim her prize and open the bag. Taking a long, deep inhale of its contents, she settles herself cross-legged on the ground and digs in.

[dirkgentle]

🐈 In light of recent ( fantastic !!! ) additions to the small, yet infinitely silly noble Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency roleplay community ( what a mouthful ! ), PLEASE reblog this if you either: 

roleplay a character from Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency (canon or OC), 

have a DGHDA verse on your blog, OR

are familiar with the show and open to interactions with DGHDA blogs! <3  🐈

[holistic-ass]

indie bart curlish rp

i’m still cobbling this blog together but hey there! this is an independent roleplaying/writing/art/fan blog for bart from the dirk gently’s holistic detective agency series. mun behind the muse is familiar with tv canon but still dipping their toes in book canon; portrayal will be primarily canon with personal flavour here and there. please give this a like or reblog, or follow this blog, if you are interested in interacting with bart curlish, aka “project marzanna”, aka the holistic assassin.