Harkaway @hollowed-hivemind - Tumblr Blog

Pinned Post !!

This is a personal blog !

As I post more frequently on here a get to know me feels important. I am 19, an artist (jack of all trades, master of none) and an OSDD 1b system.

We use I/We interchangeably. Collectively we go by Hark, He/Him. We're queer and poc!!

Aside from system posting, I will occasionally coin terms. I also post mediocre art and slightly better photos on our side blog @harkaways-hive

I do plan on recoining endo terms and making communication cards, stay tuned! Requests are more than welcome!

Obligatory fandom section, I like -

- Deadspace

- DC Comics (Especially Batman, Red Robin, Hellblazer and Outlaws)

- The Walking Dead

- FNAF

- Attack on Titan

- Stephen King

And so many more :]

Tags and stances under the cut !

#pinned post #✃ - ‎→ Harkaway · ˚₊↺#✃ - ‎→ From The Nexus · ˚₊↺#✃ - ‎→ Hivemind Howls · ˚₊↺#✃ - ‎→ Hasted Hollows · ˚₊↺#✃ - ‎→ Bretheren Moon Speaks · ˚₊↺#osdd system #radqueer dni #endos dni #endos do not interact #cdd community #actually osdd

Guys.. guys, we're not endo critical, we're anti endo. I don't care if ntg systems are proven real at some point, the endo community has still done harm. I'm not against the what ifs, I'm against the harm that has already been done. It's not my job to dictate validity, but I think I can call out bigotry when I see it. Cool? cool.

zk-j

my message to white queers.

hazedxg0

DID Research: Comorbidity

Links to studies on various co-occurring conditions within DID and dissociation, including suicidality and non-suicidal self-injury.

#✃ - ‎→ Bretheren Moon Speaks · ˚₊↺#cdd resources

How about we listen to poc voices in queer communities?

Yes, your experience as a white queer person is hard, being queer is hard. But being queer doesn't mean you can't knowingly or unknowingly be exclusionary or flat out racist to poc people, just because you're accepting doesn't mean you can't be wrong. Listen when queer people talk but also when poc queer people talk, so many queer spaces are so white focused we struggle to find community, we've been told "You're gay, black and a system? pick a struggle" unironically, like any of those were things we could choose, "It's okay to replace the ugly colors on the progress flag with my own" the ugly ones being black and brown? The ones you replaced with pastel pinks and blues? They're there for a reason, being queer doesn't erase blackness, being both is harder, we deserve to be acknowledged by our community. Your actions, knowingly or not, are actively excluding poc people. Think about that,

#✃ - ‎→ Hasted Hollows · ˚₊↺#poc system #pocblr #queer community #actually osdd #lgbtq community #what do i tag this #the progress flag has black and brown for a reason you need to act like it

the-frontporch-dog

Can we normalize talking about poc experiences with both being queer and being a system? , especially being black. Everytime I see a conversation that includes the experience of someone who is a poc it's often skipped over, played down, or they get completely bashed.

The queer community is a very good example of this, I get told all the time that "Oh, but you pass! I don't see the issue?" I am black first. I will always be seen as black first. (this might tickle some of your guys bones so hold on tight to your pants.) being black and queer is VERY different from being white and queer. being black and trans is VERY different from being white and trans.

Another great example is with our system, while we are a poc we mainly have white alters in our system, we often get fake claimed or our experiences immediately shut down because "well, if you're black it's impossible to have white alters" , which honestly if you've ever said anything CLOSE to this to another person you can go ahead and block me, you are not someone I want to interact with.

I won't be surprised if I get some comments that are like “Well... I'm. white and my experience–” , thats because you're white. White experiences will ALWAYS be different than black or poc ones.

The queer/system community isn't the only community faulty to this, there are so many other communities that brush off or ignore or put down poc experiences and it's getting really sad to see.

We've been on a bit of a hiatus, gonna get back to the days of DID posting !! System stuff (being alters who refuse to post anything in front lol) and some irl stuff came up but we're back at it!

I think I may have something to say about the communities we're in though, maybe I'll develop this thought more later, but for now I think there's a lot of people with a lot of differing stances in both the awv and rad- communities, it seems like a lot of infighting that we're watching, but certainly not seeing all of it

I think it's important to note the basis for what is good vs bad is usually set up during childhood, so it's unsurprising to us that a lot of traumatized individuals also have controversial opinions. We want to continue posting despite communities falling apart, our break has been nice? but it's nicer having a place to talk freely about being a system with a cool community and incredible muts, and we'll likely stay somewhat separate from other movements - All of that aside, most of the fighting seems to be people attacking others, singling them out, which gets us all nowhere.

Harassment of any kind is wrong, period. And it's rather difficult to individually call out all the members of a problematic community, I think the awv and those who are still posting as endo critical/anti endo characters have completely lost the plot, which was to criticize the unsafe and misinformed behaviors of the endo community as a whole not have children attacking children for irrelevant topics in cdd tags, respectfully

That being said, reposts/likes are not endorsements of the blog, just that particular post. cool? cool, I'll probably come back to this topic later with something a little more put together but for now, we're back and alive, just a little late to our own party, who knew forget everything disorder makes you forget things?

#✃ - ‎→ from the nexus · ˚₊↺#anti endo #awv

the-io-collective

actually i thought about this. this isn't a callout, this is a call-in. white systems, i am literally begging you to hold each other accountable. stop making it safe for other white systems to engage in racist bullshit.

stop letting alters that don't belong to an ethnic group claim it.

stop letting fetishization of "exotic" culture slide.

stop letting people google names in other languages and not show those languages the respect they deserve. like ffs, at least learn how to pronounce what your part is calling themself. at least learn the context the word is used in.

stop being nonconfrontational about racism. yeah, you'll ruffle some feathers. maybe those feathers need to be ruffled.

stop. letting. this. shit. slide.

schizofemic

its sooo funny when pro endos go "well its so easy to accept endos! its so easy to just believe these experiences wholeheartedly and uncritically!" as if that is a reasonable, rational, good argument.

i dont do anything because its easy. i dont believe in anything because its easy. if "easy" were enough for me, id be a far worse person than i am now. "easy" thoughts tend to lead to dangerous little paths, especially when unlearning a lifetime of abuse and trauma, yeah?

fontainians

hi im just curious but how would you go about debating endos on certain points? i'm a mod in an anti-endo server and we just had a pro-endo join and try to debate us in the unverified chat. their points were:

"endos don't harm anyone"

"plurality doesn't need to stem from trauma to be valid"

"medical professionals back up the existence of non-traumagenic plurality"

the fact "traumaendos" exist

how the icd-11 backs up endos (it doesn't.)

how endogenic plurality is underresearched

how the brain is very complex

they also called us larpers (wow fakeclaiming no surprise) 💀 again just curious and want some advice for future reference!

-🍋

I’d recommend looking through @awm-bookmarks for more, as a lot of endogenic talking points are recycled.

1. Endos have harmed several people before. The history of endogenic plurality as an anti-cdd movement as well as the many testimonies of ex pro endos and singlets and cdd systems who believed that they were endogenic are proof.

2. The methods in which endos define plurality will always be vague and useless. Theres no need debating them on “validity”, when their idea of what is and what isn’t systemhood is flawed.

3. Medical literature ties alter formation to trauma. The neurological process that causes alters and the process that causes self-states in PTSD and C-PTSD stem from the same process.

4. “Traumaendo” is another example of how harmful endogenic logic is to pwcdds. Some links a lovely anon sent me about it

5. This has been debunked five gazillion times I’m so tired of it. Here’s my favorite one.

6. Endogenic plurality exists in a nebulous state to pro endos where it is both too under researched to provide legitimate claims but also researched enough to where you have to believe it without any question.

7. Brains are complex but not stupid, and wouldn’t form dissociative barriers for no reason.

Imagine fakeclaiming as an endogenic plural… throw stones in glass houses much?

It's yap sesh time guys, sorry, I'm skipping a day of DID, been having a rough time and I want to focus on something that's a little more fun to chew on.

Been reading up a lot about how introjects form and just system experiences in general because we've been in system spaces since we were 14 ? Yet never really looked at any personal accounts outside of our own experiences/close friends because we started therapy so early and didn't really have an interest in psychology, and starting off in endo spaces finding resources online always felt like I was being misled.

I realize about half of us are introjects, most are from childhood shows or games and have been around forever it feels, and they each have traits from their source that kinda, "carried over" that weren't modeled for us / encouraged by people around us, things that I still struggle with like telling people no, focusing on work, starting conversations or feeling proud of themselves. Which fits the general introjection experience, but also they're also people I was heavily attached to as a kid, they never seem to be characters from new media but rather things we engaged with on a regular basis for months and kind of knew the inner workings of exactly how that character thought / why they reacted certain ways, and when we weren't focused on a specific character is when we noticed brainmades who always showed up with just as much self awareness (like, I can look back at old posts from when we were younger on fanart pages (still unfortunately connected to our email) or journal entries and be like, "wait, that's also when this person showed up.. hmm")..

I wonder if that's how it always is with introjects and they all seem very self aware about why they react certain ways because media explains why characters react certain ways, or if our tendency to hyperfixate on media and how others think had anything to do with who ended up in our system when, like if I had been more interested in, say ningajo instead of teen titans would we have ended up with someone different ? Would they be like a sibling to me still because of my own obsession with family that I know had to affect the way we function now or would everything be different ? But also, how do you tell the difference between what was influenced by autism and what was just our reaction to trauma ? What was our brain doing its own thing and what was needs trying to be met ?

This is more of a personal post, I think I still blame myself for the creation of our system, like I couldn't handle things or do things, so I needed others to help rather than the idea that we were always, separate, that our personality never fully fused to begin with, and that I'm just a facet of a person who never got to be whole and that parts of that person are connected to the media that shaped us as a whole.

#✃ - ‎→ Hivemind Howls · ˚₊↺#introject #autism #actually osdd #osdd system #endos dni #did osdd #traumagenic system #I am a mosaic of every person I've ever met #and part of me thinks that's beautiful #another part is terrified

education-system

Please please please everyone take care of yourself first. No drama, no debate, no discourse is worth sacrificing your own wellbeing over. You don't want to end up trying to poor from an empty cup.

Syscourse unfortunately commonly ends up as a form of emotional sh. Sometimes that can be beneficial if it is what keeps one away from more dangerous forms but it can also push someone who is struggling further into crisis. It is ok to take a break. Syscourse isn't going anywhere if you want to come back to it later. But you always come first.

And if you see it getting worse, even if its not for the entire system, don't be afraid to reach out for support. How you plan for your safety is based on the member of your system that is doing the worst. Even if it makes things harder for the other alters who aren't in crisis it is a group effort to aid alters who may be in crisis. Even if that means getting them off the internet and away from spaces that harm them.

Every single one of you is important and valuable no matter how you have been hurt or how you have hurt others. Everyone deserves basic respect and support. Though importantly not everyone can give that support and should not be experienced to. That goes back to not pouring from an empty cup.

Now everyone let me welcome your unofficial emotional support puppy :)

fontainians

On endoglazing / endobashing in the cdd tags, because my opinion has changed:

I think posting about how non-cdd plurals have affected you as a pwcdd / a system is a valid use of the tag.

By that I mean:

“The endogenic system community helped/hurt me with my cdd because of x”

That’s what my brain think of at the moment, but you get the core idea: Issues that do involve non-cdd plurals, but at their core talk about said plurals effects on systems.

By that I DON’T mean:

Just posting about how endogenic systems are/arent valid

Endo positivity in the cdd tags. Why should we care?

“Ugh I hate all endos or pro endo systems die” type content, as well as its reverse “I hate all sysmeds sysmeds should die” style of slop.

fontainians

for reference, i use “plural” to refer to people who claim to be non-cdd systems, or i might use “non-cdd systems/plurals” (endos as a catchall, but this one is wider). I use “system/pwcdd” to refer to.. well, systems aka pwcdds.

Day 20 !!

Do you have a favorite book or TV show about or including DID?

I believe this one is pretty popular now, but Moon Knight. Not only is it cool, cause it's Moon Knight but I think it tackles the actual struggles of DID pretty well, albeit, exaggerated. Mild spoilers - Stephen still called his mom every day despite her having died before the story started because he didn't know, didn't remember any of the abuse he suffered because they actually had clear roles within their system, Stephen the host and ANP, and Marc, the trauma holder. It's also cool that they clearly don't know everything about their system, despite being aware of their system. Sure, there's also a god in his head and they have magical powers, but the way Stephen and Marc interact really resonated with me.

· ˚₊ → Tim ⊹ He / Him ⊹ Organizer

Day 19 / Day 21

#✃ - ‎→ From the Nexus · ˚₊↺#30 days of did #cdd community #systemality #osdd system #moon knight #osddid #did osdd #actually osdd #anti endo #dissociative system #sysblr #sysfreak #hark's 30 days!

littlemissclairebiggs

Day 19 !!

Have you ever met another multiple offline? Tell us about it.

A few !! Most of them we met through therapy, a lot were much older than us but all of them were really cool !! It was funny, sometimes we'd be sitting around, waiting for group sessions - for severe ocd and anxiety, not CDDs, but we all had a different therapist who recommended us group sessions at this place who was really accepting of systems - and the others there were the lead singer of Megadeath, a dog, Jared (he was 19), green goblin and the token singlet /hj. We never really got to know them outside of that group, but they were always the kindest people, we all struggled with similar things which is probably why we benefited so much from group therapy, it was really validating and nice to see that people so much older than me struggle with the same things, and they still live long and happy lives. I wish I got to know them better, I wish we were friends with systems IRL, but knowing that they're out there, one of them most definitely in their 60s now gave us a sense of hope. I hope they got the same thing out of those groups that we did, I hope they're doing okay,

· ˚₊ → Olive ⊹ He / Him ⊹ Host !!

Day 18 / Day 20

#✃ - ‎→ From the Nexus · ˚₊↺#30 days of did #systemality #cdd community #did osdd #osddid #osdd system #actually osdd #endos dni #anti endo #hark's 30 days!

I give up, I can't fight the worms, I'm changing the theme of this blog, we're going deadspace Issac Clark

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