I’m trying to unplug a little bit lately, feeling like I’m getting to bombarded with dead internet nonsense, and it’s made me realize something…
I think some people really need to be reminded the difference between having expectations of others based on courtesy and having expectations of others based on aesthetic.
If someone’s behavior out in public has a direct impact on you or others, like talking loudly on speakerphone in a crowded place or parking so close to your car you can’t open the door, that is a matter of courtesy and it’s reasonable to be upset about it. That is someone else failing to respect YOUR personhood and is a THEM problem.
If someone else’s behavior out in public doesn’t have a direct impact on you or others but you personally don’t like it, like wearing pajamas to the grocery store or holding hands with a same-sex partner or ordering a vegan meal, that is a matter of AESTHETICS and it is unreasonable to get upset or expect the behavior to change. That is you failing to respect THEIR personhood and is a YOU problem.
You are entitled to expect to be treated with consideration by others. But you must also understand that other people are not accessories in YOUR world, they are just as entitled to their own humanity and joy. After taking some time away from the internet and coming back, I’ve realized a lot of people see these things as contradicting but don’t understand why they aren’t, saying you can’t be upset about the person boxing in your car bc “you can’t expect others to conform to your wants” or you are entitled to be upset about the person in pajamas bc “they should be more considerate of others” and I think stepping out of the echo chamber has made me more aware of how black and white people interpret things when they aren’t actually having to consider the humanity of the person in the other end bc they’re a faceless stranger going by an alias. But there is a difference. These things are not mutually exclusive.