Holly's Corner

This blog is just a place for me to centralize my reflections and nonsensical blurbs. Please don't take anything on here too seriously - all I'm doing is using this as a medium through which to explore and refine my own ideas, in a way that can easily be shared with others.

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Old Black Guy

Today, this group helped remind my dad that he is loved and cherished. Thank you, Where Minds Collide. Thank you, everybody. <3 (Especially to Scott Waterman. You da real MVP.)

P.S. You will make a terrific father one day,  despite what your dad did or did not do for you. I know it. 

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To be continued...

I still have ENFJ, ESFP, ESTJ, and ISFJ to complete, and after that, I’m not really sure where to go with the series. A lot of people have asked me to do an “MBTI bf series” (which is may very well do), and I’m also thinking about making an “MBTI couples series” too, though I haven’t given it much thought yet. Any suggestions are welcome and appreciated!

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12. INFP

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11. ENFP

Even though I love this one and think it’s accurate and hilarious, I’m still probably going to end up redoing it at some point.

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10. ESTP

This was inspired 85% of my ESTP brother, 14% by my ESTP friend, and 1% of Elanor Cowell (particularly the part about pretending not to give a fuck about what anyone thinks about her, but actually cares a LOT about what everyone thinks of her). Sadly, everything else written here is either 100% true, or on a very slightly exggeration. 

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9. ISTP

This was 100% based on my ISTP female best friend in real life, right down to her physical appearance. She has done, said, or would do or say every single one of these things. 

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8. ENTJ

Shout-out to Nat Holden for making this 1000x funnier.

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7. ESFJ

50% based off my mom. 50% based off the Basic White Bitch™.

The ESFJs were so offended when I posted in this their group (as I did in ALL of the MBTI groups when I finished their memes), that they ended up guilting me into making a new one that didn’t have any insults or mockery on it.

And so here’s the new, guilt-free, insult-less, ESFJs-as-flawless gf meme.

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6. ENTP

Another meme that I’m probably going to have to redo a bit at some point. Just doesn’t quite hit the essence of ENTP for me.

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5. ISTJ

I JUST finished this one like, two hours ago. It’s actually been sitting in my folder, about 99% complete, since around June, because I just didn’t “feel” that it was as funny or quirky or ‘on point’ as some of the other entries in the series were. Then again, it could just be because ISTJs aren’t funny.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I hope I’m wrong about this. 

Edit: I had to edit this TWICE because they kept pointing out grammatical flaws. I hope you’re happy, you pretentious fucks.

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4. INTP

Also shout-out to Cassie’s boyfriend, Nick, who I made the second MBTI bf meme for so that I could mock both of them together (ISFP and INTP). This is another one that I’ll have to redo because I don’t really think it turned out nearly as funny as some of my later ones did, but in the meantime... enjoy being roasted and then laying there and allowing death to envelop your decaying meat suit, you useless INTP lump. 

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3. ISFP

Please keep in mind that this was only the first entry in the MBTI gf series that I EVER made, and I made it got a good ISFP friend of mine as a joke; so it’s not nearly as funny, accurate, or brimming with content as some of the later ones (like ENTJ, ISTP, or INFP) are. In fact, I’m most likely going to redo some of the earlier ones altogether, including this one. 

Shout-out to Cassie for letting me mock you so much that this eventually turn into relatively famous meme, you da real MVP. 

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2. INFJ

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1. INTJ

The second one, that somebody else made:

The third one, that a female INTJ - Veena Cava - made about herself (she’s adorable and sweet, btw; and absolute credit to the name of INTJ):

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Is Kevin Thomas a narcissist?

Why I think Kevin is a narcissist, a case study by Holly Hayes!

1. Kevin repeatedly displays a pattern of thought that is grandiose in nature. He consistently and openly regards his own views, opinions, and perceptions as not just factual, but obvious: when asked by others to clarify his opinion, he frequently responds by mocking the other person for not having experienced the same perception as he did, or by arguing that he doesn’t want to bother explaining because they are clearly not intelligent enough to understand his argument (because if they did, then they would’ve “got it” immediately, without any explanation). He feels that it is unnecessary for him to have to explain his point, because his perceptions are blatantly obvious and universally apparent to anybody who is intelligent enough to perceive them; and if you don’t see what he sees immediately, then it’s simply just because you’re stupid.

The following screenshot was NOT taken by me - it was captured and posted by someone who I barely know (my point being that multiple people have the same impression of his behavior that I do).

This is an extremely common phenomenon among narcissists. Because of their under-developed sense of self (coupled with their inability to empathize), narcissists will project their cognitive distortions (especially their black and white thinking) onto others - who they see as caricatures, or as one-dimensional players being moved around the stage of life by the narcissist himself. They also lack object permanence, which is the ability to understand or imagine that people still exist even when they are not being observed by the narcissist - Kevin repeatedly displays this through his tendency of assuming that other people’s actions are always in some way directly related to himself. For example, upon noting that I had deactivated my Facebook account (which I do frequently), he insisted that it was because I had gotten upset at something that he had said - a comment which was so insignificant to me that I couldn’t even recall him making it. Despite me telling him that I deactivate my Facebook account perhaps as often as 1-2 times per month and that he was incorrect about my motivations for doing so, he continued to insist that I had done it because of him - he literally just couldn’t imagine me doing anything in my life that wasn’t in some way related to him.

As a result of this object impermanence, lack of empathy, and projection, narcissists will frequently assign their intentions to others (assuming that other people have the same internal motivations that they do - this is why, for example, cheaters will accuse their partners of cheating; they are projecting their own habits and beliefs onto the people around them), and be incapable of wrapping their head around the fact that others do not share their perceptions. Further, because of their belief in their own superiority, they will thus come to whole-heartedly believe that since their perceptions are superior, and since everybody perceives things in the same manner as they, that anybody who does share their opinion is automatically superior too, while anybody who does not is automatically inferior - that these people who disagree with them are not only stupid, but also dishonest, useless, and intentionally malicious. Most healthy, neurotypical individuals have grown out of this black and white way of viewing the world by the age of 8 or 9. The narcissist never outgrows this trait.

During political debates - even in debate groups where any member could reasonably expect to be challenged - Kevin will often debase the arguments of people who disagree with them by using ad hominem logical fallacies against them, especially when he becomes frustrated as they start to win the debate or gain support from onlookers. His most common insults are that anybody who disagrees with him is stupid, prone to groupthink, an Fe/Si user (I once saw him argue that NPs are incapable of independent or objective thought because of the fact that they have Si in their cognitive stack, which apparently means that they automatically suck up to authority figures no matter what position in their stack it is), and mindlessly following along with popular opinion. Despite the fact that this has been pointed out to him many times, he continues to refuse to acknowledge the fact that it is equally, if not more important, to question yourself as it is to question the status quo; and that mindlessly rebelling against what you believe to be “the popular opinion” is not just intellectually disingenuous, but also very likely to result in inaccuracies of reasoning. By automatically doing the exact opposite of what society wants you to do, you are still allowing the popular opinion to dictate what your stance is. He considers it a weakness to even consider refining or re-evaluating one’s argument - it is anathema to him, equivalent with admitting to being stupid or wrong. 

In addition to mistyping people (I’ve seen him accuse an INTJ of being an ESFJ, an INFJ of being an ISTJ, and an INTP of being an INFP, for reasons that were extremely faulty, poorly reasoned, and had less to do with the individual’s functions and more to do with Kevin’s own personal agenda), he also frequently diagnoses people as having some type of cluster B personality disorder. 

(”Well, isn’t that ironic, you giant hypocrite?” you’re probably thinking to yourself right now. The difference between myself and Kevin is that I don’t wield these labels like a weapon, accusing any random person who gets in my way of being a narcissist. I’m also willing to substantiate my conclusion by explaining my reasoning process (which is exactly what I’m doing right now). And, most importantly, I’m willing to listen to alternative viewpoints, take them into consideration, and admit to being wrong. Kevin is not.) 

More screenshots of other people talking about Kevin. Again, neither of these were me, I didn’t instigate this conversation, and both of these people now have Kevin blocked on Facebook so that they don’t have to deal with him anymore.

2. When Kevin feels insulted or slighted by another person, his anger is disproportionate to the severity of the comment. He will fling ad hominem attacks at the other person, including calling them stupid, assigning MBTI labels to them that are incorrect and which he perceives as being insulting (ex. will accuse someone of being a sensor/feeler just because they disagreed with him, because he believes that being a sensor/feeler is a bad thing), accuse them of only disagreeing with him because they’re incapable of thinking for themselves (”groupthink” is his favorite term to misuse when people disagree with his opinion), and often resorts to making fun of the other person’s physical appearance and especially their intelligence (I couldn’t begin to tell you how many times his response has consisted of him simply calling me fat). 

One of the easiest ways to set off Kevin’s feelings of inadequacy is by comparing Ni (introverted iNtuition, the rarest function) to Si (introverted sensing, the most common function). Again, because Kevin considers himself both superior and unique, he absolutely loathes being compared to Si users, a function which he considers to be representative of the very essence of normal and average - and thus, beneath him. This is also why he insults NPs just for having Si in their cognitive stack - to him, the mere concept of Si represents everything that he regards himself as the OPPOSITE of. Watching Ni being compared to Si, even though it has nothing whatsoever to do with him (and even though Jung’s source material itself outlines the similarities between Si and Ni), threatens his underdeveloped sense of self - because in his eyes, being compared to a function that is synonymous with being boring, pro-establishment, authority-loving, boot-licking, unquestioning, and fond of tradition, threatens his perception of himself as intelligent, unique, superior, original, and an independent thinker. Because, once again, in the eyes of a narcissist, every action that other people take revolves around them, in one way or another. Even when that action is simply a complete stranger explaining the similarities between Si and Ni, as outlined in Jung’s source material about the sixteen types (incredibly ironic given that he’s constantly accusing me of “ignoring definitions”). 

The following is a screenshot of Kevin complaining about a bunch of people trying to explain Ni to an INTP who couldn’t wrap his head around how it works. Instead of trying to explain Ni to that person, he instead spent the entire thread arguing with the everyone who was trying to help the INTP understand Ni by comparing it to Si (a logical decision, since a) Si is very similar to Ni, and b) the person in question was an Si user, and so he obviously has a basis for understanding Ni by first understanding how his own Si works), and trying to debunk the common belief that the two are similar to one another. (Spoiler alert: THEY ARE. They’re both introverted perceiving functions, irrational and subjective (according to Jung himself). Think of them as two identical cars that use completely different types of fuel - they operate in extremely similar ways, it’s just that they value different types of information/criteria with which to make decisions and projections.) Instead of helping the person who made the thread, he decided to interpret the thread’s contents as an attack on his sense of self, and responded to it predictably by aggressively challenging and confronting anyone who dared insult him by suggesting that perceptive, original, creative, special Ni was in any way similar to common, average, boring, normie Si.

Still waiting on Kevin to explain what he appreciates about Si. Hit me up, fam!  I’m excited to read your essay!

3. Kevin chooses to interpret the behavior of others around him as being in some way directly caused by, or related to, himself; he simply cannot conceive of a reason why anybody would do anything in his presence that doesn’t involve him. For example: he has repeatedly characterized Gage’s willingness to engage in debates with him, or point out the flaws in his thought process, as Gage “begging for his attention” - he believes that Gage is a narcissist who farms narcissistic supply from Kevin, because he (Kevin) is a source of high-quality supply (as a result of his superiority to others). This is not speculation on my part; Kevin himself as argued this.

Despite the fact that he could have chosen to interpret Gage’s actions in any number of ways (such as the fact that he’s an ENTP, a type that is well-known for their willingness to debate with others; or the fact that Gage debates with many other people in MBTI groups; or even that he’s arguing with Kevin just simply because he disagrees with him), he continuously chooses the interpretation of Gage as desperately needing Kevin’s attention, and Kevin’s attention alone - even though this explanation doesn’t make any sense, considering how often Gage debates with people who aren’t Kevin. No matter how often these things are pointed out to him, he will continue to insist that Gage is not only obsessed with him, but actually goes out of his way to follow him around on Facebook for the sole purpose of harvesting high-quality narcissistic supply from him. He has levied similar accusations against other people who have argued with him.

4. He is extremely paranoid and tends to misinterpret people openly disagreeing with him, mocking him, or being willing to point out the flaws in his argument, as a “smear campaign” (even though he does the same thing to others, which he then excuses as feeling compelled to “let people know the truth” despite being unwilling to entertain whether that same motivation may be true for other people as well). He also openly believes that there is a behind-the-scenes group conspiracy to discredit him and sully his good name that everyone who disagrees with him is a member of.

5. As with all narcissists, Kevin’s defenses are alloplasic - in other words, he has a tendency to blame every failure and mistake of his on the people around him or the world at large, including “enemies”, “haters”, “society”, “narcissists”, “sheeple”, and even the government. He genuinely believes that there is a conspiracy among the members of certain MBTI groups to conspire in secret in order to make him look bad by running a smear campaign against him. As a result of this alloplastic defense mechanism, Kevin does not accept personal responsibility for his actions, and never admits to being wrong or miscalculating - he considers it beneath him to even have to back up his arguments with facts or citations, because he believes that his conclusions are so self-evidently correct that he should not be required to have to meet the same burden of proof that every other debater does. 

When asked for evidence (or even an explanation) that he is unable or unwilling to provide, he does not blame himself for failing to prepare his argument properly; he blames YOU for being too stupid to understand how obviously correct his argument is to begin with (external locus of control) - if you need to ask for evidence, then it’s just because you aren’t smart enough to understand where he’s coming from. He considers it an attack on his intelligence and reasoning skills that anybody should even ask for proof to begin with, let alone attempt to poke holes in his argument. Like many INTJs, he fails to understand that his impressions are subjective in nature (Ni); and like many narcissists, he fails to understand that not everybody values the same proof, or interprets the evidence in the same way, as he does. And because he both lacks the ability to empathize as well as struggles to understand that different people perceive things differently, he assumes that everybody thinks and feels the same way that he does - and if they don’t, then it’s just because they’re stupid and wrong.

6. People who are narcissistic can display the following traits: controlling, self-absorbed, calculating, intolerant of the views of others, feelings of superiority, unaware of how their behavior affects the people around them, bullying, and are very insistent that others view them in the way that they wish to be regarded. In order to protect their underdeveloped sense of self, they will frequently engage in devaluing others who violate their fragile ego: and they tend to react to this by insulting and blaming others, as well as becoming openly hostile and critical towards them. Kevin displays all of these traits and more - to date, I’ve observed perhaps a dozen different people recounting stories of having been insulted or degraded by Kevin, mostly for small infractions such as disagreeing with him, or posting rebuttals to one of his political arguments. (For example: he once posted a meme about how Big Pharma and the government were “hiding” the fact that Vitamin B17 - also known as laetrile - cures cancer. When I pointed out that this has been soundly debunked and that laetrile is not even a vitamin, but is instead actually a compound which degrades into cyanide in the human body and has caused many deaths by cyanide poisoning, Kevin responded by calling me a brainwashed idiot and a government bootlicker.) When faced with an argument that he can’t refute, he moves the goalposts, or responds with flat-out denial or insults.

7. Like all narcissists, Kevin’s capacity for self-awareness is severely stunted, and he maintains a grandiose perception of himself as being unique and superior. He does this primarily by regarding himself as being unusually intelligent, perceptive, honest, and uniquely capable of discerning “the truth” about the nature of people, society, government, authority, and the world. In order to prop up this vision of himself, he tends to support political positions which are anarchistic in nature, anti-government, anti-authority, anti-status quo, anti-establishment, anti-society, anti-pop trends, and anti-science. He supports conspiracy theories that have been thoroughly discredited, such as chemtrails, alternative cancer treatments, flat Earth theory, the faked moon landing, and the idea that vaccines cause autism. He believes in these things not because he is more scientifically literate than everyone else, but because he perceives that supporting these positions prove that he is more intellectually discerning than your average person - unlike the sheeple in the rest of society, who blindly trust authoritative voices telling them what to think and how to feel. He also does it because he has (correctly) surmised that there is an audience for these types of beliefs who will praise him for being #woke, thus verifying his perception of himself as well as earning him validation, applause, and recognition.

Unfortunately, there is a large flaw in his argument, and it is this: mindlessly rebelling against every popular opinion is just as intellectually disingenuous as mindlessly supporting every popular opinion is - that’s why it’s so important to evaluate each individual idea on its own merit, regardless of whether it’s a popular or unpopular viewpoint. Kevin refuses to do this because being seen as rebellious and different strokes his ego, and reinforces the image of himself that he wants to project outward - an image of himself as being unique, intelligent, capable, competent, rebellious, independent, a free thinker, and a Gallileo-like genius who was once revilved by society for his seemingly bizarre ideas (but is now celebrated as one of the most important thinkers of his time), and is unconstrained by the lowly viewpoints of others. Recent research published in the European Journal of Social Psychology reflected this trend among conspiracy theorists: while some of their beliefs were genuine, most of them did it simply out of a desire to be perceived as unique [x]. Unlike the regular plebians, they alone were just too intelligent to be duped or manipulated by common opinion. Kevin has displayed this belief about himself over and over and over again, and like most classic/overt narcissists, he has a very pompous and arrogant demeanor to support this.

8. Narcissists frequently resort to recruiting friends, family members, colleagues, institutions, law enforcement, therapists, peers, and many others, in order to do his bidding. He uses them to cajole, coerce, threaten, stalk, offer, retreat, tempt, convince, harass, communicate and otherwise manipulate his target. He controls these unaware instruments exactly as he plans to control his ultimate prey. He employs the same mechanisms and devices. And he dumps his props unceremoniously when the job is done.

A screenshot of Kevin tagging three additional people into the thread in order to abuse his targets by proxy.

I predict that Kevin will do the following:

1. Claim to have not even bothered to read this post (not that his lack of specific knowledge on what’s written in it will stop him from arguing that it’s wrong, though).  

2. Claim that this post is proof of a targeted “smear campaign” against him by multiple members of this group. 

3. Argue that I’m only doing this because I’m an Fe user, and I only wrote this because there’s a conspiracy among members of this group to disparage his name and make him look bad; and so therefore, I have written this entire post merely in the interest of trying to fit in with this nebulous, shadowy group.

4. Maintain that I only believe these things because my “master” (Gage) said all of these things first, and that I’m simply parroting points that Gage has already made in order to suck up to him (like all INTJs - who lack Si - he seems to forget that I’ve been arguing with him for 6+ months now, whereas Gage has only been arguing with him for 1-2 months. Not sure how he thinks that I was only copying Gage even before Gage had any of these opinions of him, but okay).