i feel like a lot of people (myself until recently included) struggle with this feeling that they may have repressed traumatic memories, due to a variety of reasons generally coming down to exhibited trauma-response behaviors that they can’t otherwise seem to explain. and while i’m not discounting the very real possibility of repressed memories, i also think something that’s not talked about often enough is the fact that many things we have normalized in our lives are actually traumas, that we seem to brush past and not let ourselves process properly because we don’t deem them “traumatic enough.” but you don’t have to undergo something indescribably deep and dark and disgustingly unimaginable for it to be trauma.
trauma that you may have, but may not be processing properly, may look like:
-the divorce of your parents (or, your own divorce, if that’s something you’ve experienced)
-being abandoned or emotionally neglected by your parent(s)
-moving in childhood, whether often or only once
-witnessing small instances of domestic violence, even if not “big” or recurring
-the death of a pet
-being bullied or ostracized
-growing up poor!
-growing up in a strict or “eccentric” religious environment
-being sexually harassed or sexualized from a young age, even if no physical abuse came of it
-being placed into a caretaker role of your siblings from a young age
-having higher/stricter expectations placed on you than of other children your age (by parents, teachers, mentors, etc)
this is not an exhaustive list by any means. feel free to add on. i just think we really need to understand that discounting our own traumas - or the traumas of other people! - because they’re not something that would show up in an episode of dateline or SVU is. like. bad. we shouldn’t have a weird competitive culture surrounding discussions of trauma. we need to acknowledge all traumas for what they are, in order to process them properly and move forward.
honestly some of y’all want a significant other so badly and can’t understand why you can’t find one, but have no sense of boundaries or healthy expectations of what a relationship is like. in a committed long-term partnership you get left on read, you wait for texts back, and you can forget about each other when you’re busy. sometimes you fall asleep without saying goodnight and sometimes you’re too caught up to text each other before 6pm. that’s how it is. thinking that you can’t be deeply, beautifully in love and still wait more than “1.75 hours” for a text back is such an unhealthy and unreasonable expectation of what love is, and you shouldn’t be in a relationship if you can’t allow the other person to exist on their own apart from you. if you’re projecting your anxieties and insecurities onto a partner who doesn’t even exist yet, then you aren’t ready for one.
YES! omg someone finally put it into words. I was literally talking about this with my friend yesterday and we agreed that the over-romantization of romance has made people have a very poor and toxic idea of what a romantic relationship actually is. glad to know more people agrees 😭
You do not owe your partner(s) sex. I mostly see this passed around in the asexual community, and it absolutely needs emphasis there, but this applies to anyone of any orientation. You never owe your partner(s) sex under any circumstance.
If your sex drive or libido is lower than your partner’s, you may feel obligated to “keep up” with them to make them happy. But you have a right to say no, or not be in the mood, or be too tired, or just not want to right now. Your partner(s) should respect your right to say no and your bodily autonomy.
If your partner(s) try to harass, manipulate, or coerce you into having sex when you say no, they’re an asshole. Having said yes in the past does not mean you can never say no. It is not your responsibility or obligation to provide sex. You do not need to violate your own boundaries to make someone else happy. Your partner(s) should respect your right to say no, and if they don’t, they don’t deserve you.
Your body belongs to you, and you decide what’s best for your sexual health. Happy Pride
if low-rise pants have a million haters i am one of them . if low-rise pants have ten haters i am one of them. if low-rise pants have only one hater and that is me . if low-rise pants have no hater, that means i am no more on the earth . if world against high-waisted pants, i am against the world. i love #highwaistedpants till my last breath hope this helps
"Are you cold?" Kun asked as he took a seat next to you on the couch. You shrugged, half-wanting to say yes, but not wanting to trouble him. "Xiaojun, can you get (y/n) one of my hoodies?" he asked the younger male when he saw him going up the stairs.
Xiaojun nodded his head and motioned for you to follow him. In their room, he threw the three hoodies Kun owned on his bed and let you pick. One was a poop-coloured, oversized one, another a mix between red and pink, but you finally decided on a thick minty one, the one you gave him on his birthday this year. You pulled it over your head and made your way down the stairs once you realised Xiaojun went to take a shower.
You stopped in front of the TV, hands in the pockets of your boyfriend's attire, and it didn't take long before you felt his arms sneak around you. After giving you a kiss to your temple, he put his chin on your shoulder, breathing in his cologne mixed with your perfume.
"I'm so stupidly in love with you."
The words tumbled out of his lips simply, without much thought, but you both knew how sincere they were.
Ten
"Can I borrow your suit?" Your voice rang through the small apartment you shared with Ten. He made a face, looking away from his phone.
"Okay?" he yelled back, deciding that maybe not asking further questions was in his best interest.
Half an hour passed before he heard your footsteps coming into the living room. Looking up from his phone again, all he could mutter out was a 'wow'.
"I told you I'm going to that Halloween party with my coworkers! So, how do I look?"
With a stupid grin on his face, Ten stood up from the couch and walked around you twice, eventually back-hugging you.
"Stunning." He gave you a kiss on the temple. "As always," he whispered in your ear. "I'm kinda digging this, you know? Who knew Frankenstein could be so hot."
And then, he had to hold your laughing form before you managed to collapse to the ground, stuttering his words back to him, causing him to roll his eyes. Maybe he should have stuck to the 'wow'.
WinWin / Sicheng
WinWin never thought it would get to him as much as it did. Most of the times the two of you spent were with the other boys, the perfect opportunity to offer you his clothes being a movie night but he didn’t want to get teased by them.
The two of you were walking back from shopping, the weather not quite as nice as it was before. The wind picked up and you still had over twenty minutes to walk back to your house, and even more to the dorms.
Shivering involuntarily, you wrapped your arms around yourself to keep the cold away, but needless to say, haven’t succeeded.
With the wind blocking out some sounds, you didn’t hear the commotion next to you. Plus, Taeyong was trying to be subtle about it - that, however, wasn’t a problem with Donghyuck.
“Yah, Sicheng, aren’t you going to give (y/n) your jacket or something? You know, like a sweet boyfriend would,” he said, a hint of teasing present, as per usual.
Blushing, your boyfriend took off his hoodie, revealing a jumper underneath (so you knew he wouldn’t be that cold himself), and passed it over to you, without looking at you. You thanked him, putting it on, instantly feeling warmer. Sicheng wouldn’t look at you (besides the subtle glances) or speak to you until you arrived at your house, you promptly giving him his clothing back, and seeing how he reacted, you made a mental note to yourself to always try bringing a spare jacket with you when you two went out.
Lucas / Yukhei
You heard Yukhei before you saw him, sauntering into your apartment just as you finished up the dinner for your date.
"Look what I got you!" he exclaimed, fishing through all four of the shopping bags before digging up a bright pink jumper, at least two sizes too big for you.
You wanted to tell him that until he got a similar one out, only in your size.
"Matching jumpers! Well, kinda. I got them in the men's section because the material is thicker and I thought; why not? Try it on!"
He was so excited you couldn't make him wait, so you took off your shirt, leaving you only in a tank top, and scrambled to put the jumper on. It fit you perfectly, albeit the sleeves were puffed out slightly, but you reckoned that was just the design. You liked oversized things anyway.
Yukhei beamed, enveloping you in a hug that nearly made you suffocate.
"You're literally perfect. I can't believe how lucky I am."
Xiaojun / Dejun
You visited your boyfriend on the set for their new music video. He just finished getting his hair done when he saw you in the mirror, getting up to give you a hug and greet you. He scooped you up and spun you around.
"No need to rub it in!" You both laughed at Kun's words, who passed by and gave you a kiss on the cheek before leaving to film his solo scene. You watched his dark grey hair disappear, then came up to the clothing rack, fiddling with some clothes.
"So, do you like, get to keep any of these?" you asked, picking up a beret.
"Well, not exactly. But I do get to wear them on other sets and variety shows," he answered, giving you a back hug.
You hummed in response, spinning around and thus breaking yourself out of Dejun's hold. You put the beret on your head and posed for him.
"So, how do I look? Ready to debut in a group?"
Your boyfriend watched you, half with heart-eyes and half-amused.
"How do you look better in that than me?"
You laughed, taking the hat off and gently placing it back to its original place. "One of my many charms, Jun."
Hendery / Kunhang
"We're live in five!" You heard and fastened the button on your shirt. Well, Hendery's shirt, to be exact, but he stole your leftovers last week so you figured it was time for payback.
"(Y/n)!" You turned around and spotted the aforementioned running towards you.
"Hendery? What are you doing here? I'll be live in a few," you said in a hushed whisper.
"I wanted to bring you this." He lifted the small gold pin and grinned at you. It was your lucky charm. He pinned it to your blouse, then took the collar between his fingers with scrunched eyebrows. "Is that... Is that my shirt? I've been looking for it the whole weekend."
You grinned at him sheepishly. "But I look cute, don't I?"
He sighed, his mouth stretching into an involuntary smile. He planted a kiss on your forehead. "I guess you do."
YangYang
Along with some of your mutual friends, YangYang and you went to bonfire night. As the evening turned into night, and most of the people went home, you and your boyfriend decided to stay behind. The night was still, but the temperature has dropped significantly; thankfully, you came prepared.
Pulling a thick cardigan out of your bag, you were ready to be engulfed by its warmth, when YangYang stopped you in your tracks.
"Wait." He began digging in his backpack and pulled out a bright red sweatshirt, the same one he was wearing, and motioned for you to put your arms up. When you did, he pulled the piece of clothing over your head. "There."
Then, he snuggled up to you, leaving you confused as to what just happened.
"I've had that sweatshirt in my bag for two weeks now, waiting for the perfect opportunity. Apparently, you never get cold."
You snickered at his words, dropping the cardigan on the sand and placing your head on his shoulder, enjoying the night air, and the smell of YangYang's cologne on you.
That relatable (older) Gen Z memory: when all the projectors and white boards got replaced by Smart Boards™ around like fifth grade and none of the teachers knew how to use them but they Had To Use them otherwise the school just wasted a bunch of money and it was a rlly weird transition
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