Hellbrain Speaks

DBT, journaling, ranting, getting by

[hellbrainspeaks]

Welcome, Hellians 

Hi! My name is Ace, and this is my mental health side blog. I am a twenty-something with BPD. I wanted to share the resources I've acquired along the way and the practical experiences that have helped me live through it. Here you'll find DBT, CBT, journal prompts, art prompts, mental health memes, things that make me smile or laugh, maybe snippets from my own journals.

My inbox and DMs are wide open! If you want to talk or start a discussion on here please don’t hesitate to send me a message ☺️ I want to curate a safe and positive space for anyone who is struggling with personality disorders. My focus is on helping, making these symptoms easier to manage, and breaking the cycle of negativity. I have good days and bad days, but this blog is oriented towards hope. Things will get better because we will make them better.

Blog tags:

treatment mall: skills, lessons, activities, resources, etc

solidarity: reblogged posts of other peoples' experiences

hellbrain family: positivity posts

hellbrain dump: mod's personal posts, might contain stressful or frustrated language

hellbrain shit: mod's personal posts discussing potentially triggering topics

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This post will be updated as needed. I hope you find something helpful during your stay, even if it's just the reassurance that you're not alone ☺️

[carnage-cathedral]

my partner said something that kinda rocked my world

[hellbrainspeaks]

.

[hartro-owns-my-heart-ro]

”getting thicker skin” is great in theory but I think for some people “get better at handling your thin skin” is gonna be way more helpful advice. I have strong emotional reactions to criticism and they might never go away, but i can continue to try and handle each situation maturely and that’s the important part. Sometimes irrational feelings are chronic and living with them is better than trying to beat yourself up into not having them.

[visceravalentines]

you gotta go where you can just about see the curvature of the earth

[bluest-fluff]

It's been said before, but it bears repeating. If you have trauma that affects the way you behave now, it's not your fault you were wounded but it is your responsibility to heal it. Or at least to care for yourself in ways that don't hurt others.

But I think you're allowed to feel mad about this responsibility. It is profoundly unfair! It's unfair that you got hurt at all in the first place, and now you have to carry the hurt around long into the future? AND you have to keep doing extra work about it, even though it should never have been put on you in the first place? A real glitch of human existence, I tell you.

So the reminder exists in reverse, too. Yes, it's not your fault and it is still your responsibility to fix. But also, just because you have to fix it doesn't mean that it's your fault. And you may feel about that however you will.

[tfw-adhd]

[meet-again]

This is weird bevause ive had this exact thought before

[wordsaremylife]

Actually it really does help to paint the picture

[slightlyrebelliouswriter23]

"why don't you set an alarm to remind yourself to put your marbles in your bag?" i will fill your shoes with goo

[sandersstudies]

“They’re just looking for attention.”

Oh, a human being is seeking a social response? Human being, the social animal wired to make and track social connection? A human desires the vital blood that permitted their species to survive for millennia? The human being who was born completely helpless and primed in every way by nature to seek attention and help from their community?

Wow that’s crazy. How embarrassing. Humiliating even. Should we isolate them from community? Should we call Wire Mother?

[everythingstarstuff]

[kaedien]

boot up, Bitch

[alphabetizing-posts]

Bitch boot up,

[roycohn]

do it scared. do it stupid. but most importantly, do it bitching and moaning the entire time

[borderlinereminders]

Let’s talk about emotional testing.

The kind of testing that can damage your relationships. The “pull away just to see if they’ll follow” kind. The “I’m going to say I’m fine and hope you prove I’m not too much” kind.

The “If I disappear, will you notice?” kind.

If you have BPD or struggle with abandonment trauma, this pattern might be painfully familiar.

And look, you’re not a bad person for doing it. You’re someone who was hurt. Someone who learned, probably very young, that directness wasn’t safe. That being honest about your needs got you punished, ignored, or abandoned.

So instead of asking, you test.

You might pick a fight to see if they’ll leave.

You might go quiet and hope they’ll chase you.

You might drop hints instead of clearly communicating your needs.

But here’s the truth:

Testing creates fear where you actually crave closeness. It pushes people away when you’re begging them (silently) to come closer. And it feeds the very thing you’re trying to avoid: rejection. It can also become a self-fulfilling prophecy. You’re scared people will leave and this ends up driving them to leave.

So what can you do instead?

Start small. Practice asking out loud:

“I’m scared you’ll leave. I could use some reassurance.”

“Can you check in with me later today? I get anxious when things go quiet.”

“I don’t want to test you, but I notice I do. I want to work on that.”

That’s trust. That’s vulnerability. That’s what real connection is built on.

It’s terrifying, yes.

But it’s also the first step toward a relationship that doesn’t run on fear but instead it runs on honesty.

You deserve that kind of love.

(And you’re capable of giving it, too.)

[callizinc]

Did you know that you can waste your free time by not knowing which activity to do so you do none of them

[64mpg]

(emerges 3 hours later covered in blood) i figured out what emotion i was feeling

[nepofledgling]

“do you really wanna be on that medication for the rest of your life :(?” yes actually I would love that. I know what I’m like off it

[punkrorschach]

no you don't understand. i *get* to be on this medication for the rest of my life :)

[autism-things-for-my-parents]

👆That

[wholeheartedsuggestions]

friendly reminder no one is worth destroying yourself over. doesn’t matter how happy they’ve made you, how long you’ve known them, how cute they are, how sweet they can be. if you’re constantly crying yourself to sleep over them and feeling invalidated and having to blame yourself or make up excuses for them, not worth it. not worth it now. not worth it in the long run.

[daz4i]

my take for the day. being edgy (and i mean shadow the hedgehog, 2005 mcr, scene kid edgy. not 4chan edgy) is in fact very good and i’d say even important 

[daz4i]

genuine expression of your emotions, especially your negative ones, is incredibly important to keep your mental health in check. doing it through music (listening or creating), clothes, makeup, poetry, etc is a safe and healthy way to do it 

bottling up your emotions is never good. if listening to bring me the horizon helps you process your views on the world, do it. if smudging your eyeliner feels like you’re matching your inside to your outside, do it. if drawing bloody characters makes you feel better, do it. who cares if some boring loser thinks it’s cringe. do it for yourself 

[godshideouscreation]