But is it love?

Angela O'Riley * 18 years old * Child of Aphrodite 

[holydov-e]

He didn’t sound completely happy with his reply, but she didn’t want to push it. It seemed like a sensitive topic. Instead, she focused on her own reply. “Uh... I... I really don’t want to talk about that, right now.” He was a stranger, and she didn’t owe him anything. But then again, he had been kind enough to ask if she was okay, and she had ranted with him, so it was logical he would ask what was all of that about. She stayed quiet for a moment, before looking away. “I used my powers by mistake on someone.” She finally admitted, in a soft voice. She shook her head. “I don’t know if it’s worst than cheating. I guess not, because you can’t cheat on accident. But still, makes me feel shitty.” She sighed. “It was actually a set of bad decisions that ended up in that.”   

[holydov-e]

“Right.” Angela replied, now a little embarassed for making him repeat himself. “Well, thank you. For talking with me. It actually helped me, more than I thought it would.” Even if he was still a little harsh, Angela found there was a sibling that midly cared for her in Darius. If not, he wouldn’t have worried enough to answer her, right? Maybe she shouldn’t have been that quickly in judging him before having an actual conversation with him.

Instead of taking his stare to the desk as a sign to leave him alone, she looked at the desk as well. “What are you working on?” She asked, curious. He had helped her, and she didn’t want to make Darius feel like she only talked with him when she needed something from him. Besides, she was actually intrigued about what was he doing. 

[scnbrshed]

   benny stared at his palm, flexing his hand as he examined the scar that now ran from the center of his hand up along his forearm and stopped at his elbow. it was still fairly fresh- a byproduct of the three weeks long mission he had been on for apollo. “ huh. thought it would look more badass. “ he muttered, finally dropping his focus from the scar onto the person who had walked up to him. “ sorry, i zoned out. what’s up? “

[holydov-e]

“It looks pretty badass to me.” Angela replied, smiling slightly. “But to be fair, I am the kind of person that thinks that even a scar from falling can look badass, so, I don’t know how much you can take into consideration my opinion.” She joked, before asking. “Oh, You were in a mission, right? How did it go?” She had actually entered the Apollo cabin looking for one of Benny siblings, but finding him was a happy coincidence. 

[halfgodisms]

Alexander hated losing things, and after spending a good half hour retracing his steps, that is the conclusion he unfortunately had to draw. He’d lost his violin. He still had his bow, but it was rather hard to play violin without, you know, the actual instrument. So, here he was, bow in his hand, having combed through the entirety of cabin 7 but still not having located his instrument. He stepped outside, checking the porch area and let out an exasperated scream. “Where in the name of the Gods is it?!" 

[holydov-e]

“I’m not sure what exactly did you lose, but the chances of a young Hermes kid having taken it are pretty big.” Angela said, as she walked by the Apollo cabin. “What is it? Maybe I can help you look for it. Unless it’s something more metaphorical, like, a sense of direction.” 

[shine-paris-deactivated20190728]

@holydov-e

send 🚽 for our muses to talk about their godly parent(s)

“I’m not the only creative one. Lots of my siblings do visual art, to the point where it’s like their lifestyle, rather than a hobby. There’s gotta be something about Iris that inspires creativity. For me, it’s easy to see, because I like to paint, and using color is important for that! My aunt loved my paintings, our house was literally chalked full of them, but I could tell she was a bit worried because it’s not an easy occupation to make a living out of.”

Paris enjoyed talking about art. It was his most deeply personal interest, something that caused love to burn in his chest and make him go on and on about it. 

“So, are Aphrodite and Iris, like, friends? In the godly world?” he asked, tilting his head to the side curiously. “I don’t know if you would know. It’s not like we get a lot of time to see them.”

[holydov-e]

Angela tilted her head to the side, thinking about the question. “Well, I think they don’t have a rivalry, and that’s always good. Although I usually have a good relationship with Hephaustus kids despite our parents’, uh, situation, so I don’t think it’s that important either.” Sitting by the dock of the camp’s beach, Angela replied, while she looked at the sea. “Being a kid of Iris must be cool. People probably don’t think in a bunch of stereotypes when they learn who your godly parent is.” Angela wrinked her nose. “And I get that art isn’t an easy career, but I think you get a head start.”  Angela joked, smiling at Paris. “ I would love to see one of your paintings one day.” 

[holydov-e]

“I didn’t cheat on anyone.” Angela was quickly to clarify, once she realized how her example had sounded. Not that it really mattered if a stranger thought she was a cheater or not, but it was one of the few things Angela could pride herself of having never done; breaking her couple’s trust like that.

“I’m really sorry to hear it, Joshua.” Angela said, and it sounded like she was actually sorry, and not like she was saying one of those phrases that people thought were right to say in situations like that. “But, at least you have the present, right? And the future. Even if you didn’t get to spend a lot of time with your sister in the past, it’s not like you won’t ever see her again. Right?” Angela didn’t want to say something that she wasn’t supposed to say, and just make everything worse. “How old is she now?"

[holydov-e]

“Honestly, I couldn’t give a shit about Axel.” Angela admitted, shaking her head. In her opinion, that was something between the two of them, not him, nor their cabins. But it wasn’t like she was in any position to complain. “I’m not apologizing because of him. I am apologizing because I was an asshole. No one deserves to be told the things I told you. I just, I knew they were a sensitive topic, but I didn’t know...” Angela’s voice was cut off. She doubted Betty cared about any stupid explanation she could be able to mutter. “I’m sorry.” It was hard, not falling into self-pity, anger, or desesperation. Even if the Hermes’ girl didn’t forgive her,Angela just hoped that at least Betty would sense that she really meant what she was saying. 

[holydov-e]

“You are like, a talking book.” She meant it as a compliment. Jesus, Darius made Angela feel a little dumb. The way he talked and the words he used definitely threw her off a little, specially considering they had never shared more than two or three short sentences before, but Angela wanted to keep up with him. After all, he was doing her a favor talking with her. However, when he looked at her to ask what was her power (or rather, to implicity ask that) she couldn’t avoid getting defensive. “I don’t have charmspeak.” She quickly assured him, as if he was accusing her of something. He didn’t seem like the kind of person that would care, but Angela had spent so much time convincing everyone around her she didn’t have those powers, it was hard to get out of that mentality. 

After a pause, Angela spoke again, looking away. “My powers make me feel ashamed.” She finally revealed the real reason of the conversation. “And it makes me mad, because other cabins get cool powers, like control over water or the ability to talk to animals, and we are stuck with ‘evil’ powers. Even if powers are only as bad as the person who uses them.” Angela was frustrated, angry and sad, all at the same time.  But she agreed with Darius, at least a little. It was something that she had never thought before, but a good way of referring to it; Bad luck. Not her fault, nor the fault of any of the campers in the Aphrodite cabin.

[holydov-e]

Angela smiled, relieved that Zeke had held her hand as well. For a moment, she had been afraid that this was nothing more than a confusion; Him having agreed to come with her just because he didn’t want to hurt her, she not being able to realize about the thin line that divided friends from something more. But when he held her hand, with that simple gesture, Angela started to believe that none of those fears were true.

Suddenly, it was as if Angela was sure of what to do, or at least, she felt like what she wanted to do wasn’t wrong. Moving her body closer to Zeke’s, she rested her face close to his neck, a few inches away from his shoulder. He was warm, and Angela felt comfortable. She just wished it wasn’t too much for him, for the last thing she wanted to do was to make him feel weird or like she was being too serious about all of it. “I’m happy about it too.” She assured him, almost in a whisper. 

[holydov-e]

“Yes, I guess you are right. I’m not saying you should feel guilty, but, I just sensed that most people would.” Angela paused, debating if keep bothering him was worth it or not. Usually, she would have left him alone, but once she had actually started talking to him she realized Darius wasn’t as scary as he seemed. “But what if you didn’t do it on propose, but you did actively do it? Even if it was by mistake?” She knew what he would answer, or at least felt like she did. If she hadn’t done it on propose, then there was no reason to feel bad. “Just because we don’t actively do it doesn’t mean we can’t ruin someone’s life with the powers.” She thought out loud, not looking at him.

[holydov-e]

“I hope so. I don’t know.” Angela thought for a second in silence, scratching her nose slightly before she focused back on Joshua. “I mean, let’s say you are in a relationship, and the person you are with cheats on you. Would you trust them again, one hundred percent? I guess it depends on the person and the relationship.” She said, thinking more logically than anything. “Did you let down a lot of people? I mean like, was it really bad?”

[holydov-e]

Darius sounded just like older brothers were supposed to sound like; with wisdom acquired through experience. Walking closer to the bed and sitting down, Angela stared at him, paying close attention to what he had to say. She never told him, mainly because the opportunity had never arisen, but there was a part of Angela that considered Darius to be extremely smart, one of the smartest of the cabin, in fact. “That’s a good question.” Angela admitted, really thinking about his words. 

“I think you just big-brothered me, if that’s even a thing.” The way he talked made it a little hard for Angela to follow everything he said, but she tried. Pausing for a second, taking everything in, Angela sat straight and looked again at Darius again, now with her thoughts more clear and with new questions waiting to be answered. “Do you ever feel guilty? About using your powers, I mean.” 

[holydov-e]

Everything can be fixed somehow. Those words filled her heart with hope for a second, before she stopped herself. What if it wasn’t true? “I betrayed someone’s trust.” She admitted, barely above a whisper, without looking at Joshua. “I wish you are right, I really do.” Angela said, finally turning to look at him. “I’m Angie. Angela.”

[holydov-e]

Deciding for herself and for Paris that neither of them would do much more exercise for the day, at least for the time being, Angela walked over to the bleachers around the training arena for when there was some event, and sat down, using her hand to blow some air to her face. The thought of Paris being one of those silly youtubers draw a smile on her lips. “I definitely see you as a youtuber. But, I didn’t really become Instagram famous to connect with people.” The reasons could seem a bit vain, but she did it because she thought she looked good on pictures and liked sharing them with the world. 

The Aphrodite girl couldn’t help but to blush slightly when he complimented her. “Thanks.” She replied, looking at Paris. “We should do something that we actually like, not training. There are better ways to spend the afternoon.”

[beautwin-blog]

@holydov-e

“No-” Darius pushed his chair back with irritation, the wooden heels scraping against the floor of the cabin. He tossed his old fountain pen onto the desk blotter and stood, looking toward the door. In it stood Angela, his half-sister. He didn’t have any particularly strong feelings about her, positive or negative. She merely was, but when she attempted to rope him into conversation was when he found his patience thinnest. He didn’t like to disrupt his own activities, not for anyone, but his eyes were getting sore anyway, and so he used this as an excuse for a brief break. “I am not too busy. Is there something you need from me, specifically?” he asked, a small indication that perhaps she could take up her small-talk with someone else.

[holydov-e]

“Um.” Angela felt that no matter what she said, it would be a bother to Darius. But then again, she always felt like she was bothering him while talking to her older sibling, so perhaps it was just her imagination. Or maybe he just disliked her, either way, it would only take a few minutes of his attention, not much more. “I mean, it’s only a question.” She replied, moving a lock of hair behind her ear, before continuing. “How do you deal with the fact that you can’t really control who your power influences?”

Realizing that she was perhaps a little too blunt, she cleared her throat. “I didn’t mean to sound rude. I’m just curious.“ There were bad demigods with abilities far too scary to not be afraid of them. Darius wasn’t one of them, at least not to her; that didn’t mean his powers were harmless.

[wildestlovers]

[holydov-e]

“I like hanging out.” She nodded slightly, speaking barely above a whisper, before closing her eyes and trying to explain what was going on. “Did you ever do something that you regret greatly, but you feel that no matter what you do, it’ll be never enough to fix it?” Angela shook her head, having stopped crying but still showing how bad she felt about the whole situation. “I just, I messed up everything.”