next you'll say — !

joseph joestar affiliated with isolaradiale mobile links not indie friendly, basically a caejose blog

[holyshitjo-blog]

quests? QUESTS! joseph is useless, hates hard work, so he’s game for the easiest but most high paying quests! i’m looking at you, spooky scary skeleton... and others.

but give this a like to give me permission to slide into your dms for some plots and then i’ll write a starter your way. capping this at two -- feel free to like even if we already have a thread!

[holyshitjo-blog]

baddestdangerboy‌:

“Who are you,” Badou looks down (up) his nose at Joseph, completely deadpanned. Oh he does recognize the big guy, mostly on account of his new changes, but he just wants to fuck with him. He was pretty obnoxious last time…

Not waiting long for a reply, he continues,

“And thanks for the warning, pal, but I can take care of myself. People are nosy but only to a point. So I ain’t too worried. What are you doing around here, anyhow?”

joseph’s ego is slighted by the lack of recognition considering he remembered the orange haired man. but, pushing the man into the bog down the road will surely make him feel better. also, there’s some satisfaction from the pettiest of reasons to feel the man’s wallet on his person. but before he can even answer about who he is, the man had already moved on. a vein on his neck pulsed harder, but he kept his tongue to himself, instead focused on the imagery of the man covered in dirty bog water.

        “ah, you see i live here now, as it seems         with the change in the world, we are forced         into certain areas or you’re attacked. and,         that is why i offer you, friend, some safety         because i’m fairly certain that you would          be attacked if noticed by the guards…”

he states his observations, more true than he would expect himself. so, he saddles up beside the man, a grin on his face as he subtly shifts the direction the man is walking towards the nearest bog. one push – that’s all it’ll take.

[holyshitjo-blog]

wildberryoras‌:

     HAD it not been for his time crusading toward Cairo in countless crowded cities, he may have missed it. The brushed against his thigh could be mistaken for a coattail whisking past, had he not glanced into the reflexion of a shop window. His hand snaps back and closes around the devilish tail that thought it could take the leather fold from his satchel.

❝ Small world. ❞

He snorts, smoke flaring from his nostrils when he looks back at Joseph. He should have known they’d run into one another again no matter what he’d try to do. They had a connection for whatever reason. For all he knows, this was this guy’s funny way of getting his attention.

@holyshitjo

*:・ﾟ☆

honestly, he isn’t even aware that his tail is pickpocketing someone. it has a mind of its own at this point, sneakily moving to the most probable spot for loot, carefully unhooking or cutting the little piece of string that ties it to their clothes. sometimes, he just magically finds loot on his person, which he accepts and uses at the tavern to honor the generous “donor”. so, joseph is just as surprised when he feels his tail being grabbed. he exclaims,

        “yikes! what’s your prob—oh!”

a large grin appears on his face, remembering the jolly old time the purple man had helped him with his totally legal, well deserved winnings. his gaze sneaks over to his flailing tail, caught red-tailed in the act of trying to steal the man’s wallet. he lets out a laugh,

        “certainly is, isn’t it? i’m afraid my tail has         a mind of its own now! sorry about that how         about a piece of candy as an apology?”

he opens the palm of his hands – and there it is! a piece of candy – what a fantastic little trick… that he hopes is enough to distract the man from murdering him because there’s smoke flaring from his nose and that’s never a great sign.

[holyshitjo-blog]

considering he’s now ‘affiliated’ with yela alora, he wanders around the fringes of sterlow where he had awakened like this. there are plenty of pipes with steam in it that occasionally leaks, but he has gotten used to the way things are. it’s different from before, that’s for certain, but things have always been difference since he arrived here. 

while cloaked in the darkness (hello darkness his new friend) he spots a figure that other civilians look at strangely, as if he doesn’t below -- a feeling he’s not unfamiliar with because in other kingdoms he has received the same stares when not hidden. but, unlike the other wanderers who clearly didn’t belong, he recognizes this one as the asshole who called him out for absolutely no wrong behavior in a restaurant. fortunately for him, joseph isn’t petty enough to ruin his day; unfortunately for him he is petty enough to swipe his phone. after stealing it with practiced ease and pocketing it, he says,

        “say, you don’t look like you belong here! these         fringes are dangerous with unholy creatures!         some are after your blood, others for your soul!”

he makes a scary face, then continues with a mischievous smirk, 

        “fortunately for you, i am one of the good ones!”         as if he doesn’t have the man’s phone. “i figured         since we know each other, i might as well give         you a warning and an offer to get you outta here!”

                      ★ — happi urepi yoropiku ne!『 @baddestdangerboy 』

[holyshitjo-blog]

        “hehehehe!!” 

the best thief in the business strikes again, taking the purse of another random civilian who had given him a nasty glare for being an outsider. with the purse in hand, he tosses it into the bushes, satisfied he has achieved petty retribution.

joseph walks down what used to be the golden ward in the dark, taking on the many changes that happened almost overnight. but, he stops when he notices someone familiar by the coast, that enhanced night vision easily spotting the small man by the coast. a large grin emerges and he sneaks with the shadows, making no sound, almost unable to be seen with that dark cloak and--

        “boo! spooky! freaky! scar-ky!” 

he makes his best impersonation of ghost noises behind nara, letting the shadows slip off of him to reveal his bulky handsome self. the first thing he noticed is that nara has changed as well -- is that a shark fin?! -- but it doesn’t matter. joseph immediately plops himself besides the friend and says, 

        “did i scare ya?! how are you doing, nara?         been one weird week, huh! i thought i was         going to die and look at me now, i have a         tail!” 

                       ★ — happi urepi yoropiku ne!『 @rivolas 』

[incorrectcaejose]

Caesar, parking the car: Can you get a table for us?

Joseph: Sure

*five minutes later*

Joseph, running out of the restaurant carrying a table: CAESAR QUICK! START THE CAR

Caesar: What the fu-

[holyshitjo-blog]

JOSEPH JOESTAR THE PRANKING DEMON IS IN THE HOUSE. his event information can be found here!

want him to predict your next words and then mess with your day? give this a like and i’ll send a starter your way! this will be capped at two but castmates are exempt from this!

[holyshitjo-blog]

name: joseph prankstar joestar

species: demon

affiliation: fibonacci/kingdom of yela alora

job: honestly, this slacker will just be going around having a jolly old time messing people with his newfound heightened pranking abilities. most likely, he will be a traveling/shadowy magician, wowing people with his sleight of hand and tricks, stealing their belongings, then running away to commit the next crime. he will be around the fringes of sterlow or just traveling to the other kingdoms to see what’s happening. he won’t fight anyone unless provoked (he’s easy to provoke).

appearance: joseph would have two little demon horns on his head, colored black that kinda blends with his hair. he will also have a little prehensile demon tail and you bet your wallet he’s gonna use it to his advantage. his eyes have turned red as a result of his new species. there’s also a true demon form he can take, where he will grow wings that he can actually use and possess a more demonic appearance (but he doesn’t like how he looks then).

abilities:

canon

hamon - able to heal himself 5x daily

ashamed bb gun owner

event

true form: with his true form, he can intimidate enemies with a menacing aura that will temporarily stun then and gain the ability of flight

shadow sneak: he will be in tune with darkness and be able to sneak around proficiently, almost unnoticeable when shrouded in darkness

night vision: his demonic side provides him with perfect night vision, and makes him kinda hate the sunlight

three spells: eclipse, invisibility, and lock/open.

[holyshitjo-blog]

guess who is going to be an unholy devil more interested in playing pranks than stealing your souls? 

THIS CROSSDRESSING PRANKSTER!

[holyshitjo-blog]

harliquinn‌:

“We’re so dead!”

Don’t worry, Joseph. She’s right there with you– where else can you go when giant balls of fire are raining down from above?

        “i don’t have any plans to die yet!” 

he decides to use his brain, and he thinks... and thinks! 

                a fireball crashes right besides them.

        “HOLD ME, WE ARE GOING TO DIE!”  

[holyshitjo-blog]

he throws a rock into the window of a store that had kicked him out for being rowdy. not that anyone would notice with fireballs and lightning literally hitting everything around them. the window breaks and joseph runs away.

        “heheheh!”

[holyshitjo-blog]

harliquinn‌:

“Can I freak out now?”

        “I’M ALREADY FREAKING OUT! OH NO!         run away! run away for your life!”

joseph runs in circle, unsure where to go.

[blueflamebird]

How Joseph handled Caesar’s temper:

Vs How he wished he handled it:

You didn’t mean it, but your words hit him where he’s most sensitive.

Im sure those final words he said to caesar haunted him for those 50+ years

[holyshitjo-blog]

tempusfugxt‌:

Fair point to the Joestars; Dio should have really seen that coming. Confronted with the gun, there isn’t time to react…if he weren’t Dio Brando. Staring calmly down the barrel, he grinned, called upon his stand with only a flicker of a thought, a mere fraction of his power—

 THE WORLD does not manifest.

A pellet ricocheted off his cheek, pain that should not be so potent, so jarring like a dull needle jammed through the skin starting Dio hard.

THE WORLD. Won’t. Manifest.

Hissing from between clenched fangs, he threw up an arm to catch the last volley of shoots, forearm littered with small indents. With the element of surprise given, Dio leaned backwards sharply as Joesph’s fist sailed harmlessly above his head. No matter. Dio was nothing if not resourceful.

“Ah, how I’ve missed that Joestar charm,” Dio sneered, hand briefly nestling under his chin in the picture of contemplation. Then his threw out both hands over his head in a backbend that would have snapped a human spine, foot flying up to strike at the underside of Joesph’s jaw. “Always flinging yourselves into the fight with no understanding of how outmatched you are!”

moments before death, one’s life will flash by their eyes. their memories, their achievement, their wishes and their desires will all be played in those split seconds. that... did not happen for joseph. instead, he is thinking about whether or not his precious face will be ruined from the impact. 

as his kisser is kicked, he uses the momentum from the impact to propel himself a few feet back. with grace that one would not expect, he manages to land on his hands, then back flips to give himself space. one hand idly rubs his chin, assessing the damage, making sure his kisser is still functioning. and, it is. so, with confidence, his lips parts and he lets out a laugh,

        “heh.” 

he arches his back and thrusts his arm out, pointing at dio. confidently, he says,

        “your next words are... ‘muda muda muda!’,         aren’t they, dio?! while you were kicking me,         you failed to notice i’d been putting glue on         the ground! you’re trapped dio!” 

and indeed, there’s a small puddle of glue (which honestly has no guaranteed to trap anything) right by dio. he begins running towards the vampire again, this time he lifts himself off the ground, intending to slam his foot onto the vampire, and with some hamon conducted through the kick--but his hamon wouldn’t come! he’s sailing now and he’s trying to land the kick, but, at most, if the kick even lands, it’ll just leave a bruise on the vampire. at worst, joseph is going to crash into the trash behind the vampire. he vocalizes out loud, with his eyes wide,

        “n-nani...?!” 

[holyshitjo-blog]

🍑

the forbidden fruit hangs not far away. he only needs to reach and grasp it, take a nice bite of it and savor the beautiful, sweet reward. he stares at those curves on the fruit, accentuated by the part in the middle. a bead of sweat runs down his forehead. he wipes it away with a damp palm. joseph considers the pros and cons quickly, and the pros far out weigh the cons.

so he takes a deep breath, unafraid now, his confidence boosted. he will go for it. he will go grab the fruit. he will go buy what he deserves…!

        “one peach please!” 

he smashes his phone onto the reader, his money deducted, and the forbidden fruit is in his hands. he takes a bite, enjoying the peach. it’s delicious, it’s exactly what he wants. also, it’s a peach, this wasn’t an innuendo for anything. he’s just kinda broke and peaches aren’t cheap in isola you dirty pervert. 

suddenly, he turns around -- and there he was! the nemesis he had somehow made when ogling a butt. caught red handed, peach in hand, his eyes widen and he stares. 

        “where the hell did you come from?!” 

[holyshitjo-blog]

thisbytchfastyeet‌:

That’s it. That’s the reaction he was looking for. Horror. Panic. Contrition. Fear seeping into the meat of his target, tenderizing and making for easy strokes of his blade. If he had a blade. Sonic sometimes forgets he’s been stripped of all weapons forcing him to convert to common thievery to obtain what he needs. As if it wasn’t already stretched out enough, Sonic’s grin creeps into inhuman curves, wrinkling the skin under his eyes and causing children near by to weep for their mothers.

❝ You realize I can hear you, right? Save the monologue for a different time. You’re supposed to be admiring me! ❞ ‘Playtime’ tinkers on the brink of ferocity but the ninja must remind himself to keep the facade going just a little longer. If this cheap Puri Puri Prisoner knockoff wants to harass Speed O’ Sound Sonic then he’ll trick him into a false sense of security before making him pay. 

Though if he poses at Sonic one more time he might just snap..

Turning slightly in a show to present his rump, one cheek flexes after another until both globes twerk in tandem.  ❝ I’m sorry, what? I can’t hear you over the sound of my own ass. Why don’t you come a little closer and say it again. ❞ Now I got him. Walk closer so I can end your miserable existence with my surprise attack!

impossible...! how does the beautiful ass man hear his (voiced) thoughts? he stares in shock, his own words stolen from his mouth by the mind-reading ninja. the ninja is defying all logic joseph understands by not ignoring his external monologue. so, he stares... and stares, body twisted into a surprised pose. finally his words return to him and he says, 

        “oh no! you’re a mind-reading ninja!” 

he’s clearly wrong and misguided, but his mind works in strange ways. the ninja continues to tempt him using that scrumptious bottom of his, those cheeks almost moving in their own accord to attract joseph in. the smile worn by the seductress seems to have grown wider and joseph, not one to have any self-control, begins walking towards the unavoidable trap, as if hypnotized--

pfffffft!

suddenly, a smile appears on that handsome face of his, his back arches upward, both arms crossed -- then, he points a hand towards the direction of the trap. with a confident, jubilant tone, he laughs and says

        “heheh, next, you’ll say ‘you dumbass, you fell         for my trap -- die!’” 

he stops a few feet away, still far enough to be safe from any attempts on joseph’s life. with a finger stroking his chin now, he says, 

        “but, my dear bootiful ninja, a battle is won          before it even begins! you see, i’m a fan of         the sleight of hand! look to your left, my         murderous friend.”

if the ninja looks, he’ll see a slight shimmer in the air. there are now trip wires set up all around! how and when did joseph do it? nobody knows, but it’s there. 

        “one wrong move and say goodbye to your         left butt cheek, creepo!”

[sidestuiff]

Reblog if your muse can crush a watermelon between their thighs