In 2018, I wrote down a passing thought in my cheap little leather-bound journal I was writing a collection of songs in that would go on to become Preacher’s Daughter. “If I finish this album the way it needs to be finished, it will change my life, and it will leave a hole in my heart for years that I won’t know how to fill.” I’ve always had a knack for eerily accurate self-premonition. Preacher’s Daughter certainly left a hole, and it certainly changed my life, but only on the outside. All the songs I wrote for it were about characters, a girl in a “faraway” place living her “faraway” life, albeit still parallel to mine, but wholly detached from me. Willoughby was doomed to be closer to home. I wrote Nettles and Waco the same week, the first week I spent in the Alabama house where I would finish Preacher’s Daughter after so many years of trying. The difference was I wrote them about me. There were no characters at first; it was just me. In fact, I wrote them in an attempt to hide from Ethel Cain for a moment. She eventually devoured those little ditties too, of course, as she always does. In hindsight, I’m glad I had to share them with her. I couldn’t have carried the full weight of them myself, I know that now. My premonitions were out in full force; over the course of the next few years, I’d script out my own life in the same morbid fashion I always have. Maybe it was a lesson in not training my eye downward as I’ve spent the majority of my life doing.
I had 3 weeks for the holidays between mixing and submitting Perverts and jumping back into the maw of taming an unfinished Willoughby Tucker. I spent the first three months of 2025 on probation, unable to go much of anywhere, awake only when the sun was down. I’d never mixed a record of that magnitude, which was daunting with deadlines immovable. I remember 9am on my 27th birthday rolling around after being awake for hours whittling away at mixes, announcing the album and entire tour before going back to mix an album that still wasn’t done. I’ve never cried so much finishing a record, and that was before it was even out. Combining your Saturn return, your first shot at true love, and the longest tour of your life is something I would never recommend to anyone. It was the death of both ego and everything around it. I couldn’t be more grateful. Never in my life have I been so turned inside out, so uprooted and unraveled. Looking back, I needed it more than anything.
Thank you to everyone who listened. Ethel Cain and Willoughby Tucker will always be my children, my burnt offerings, what I leave in the storm. Sometimes I wish it didn’t have to be this way, but I also fear it’s the only way. Ethel Cain, Willoughby Tucker, I really will always love you. I feel as though in this moment here, saying goodbye, you and I are closer than ever. I hope you can forgive me.
how are you pilled on a ship with no substances lol
anon doesn't understand the triumphs and defeats, the epic highs and lows of shipping two women based on three canon interactions and endless headcanons
Emery getting back late and waking her partner up with her mouth/ fingers and convincing them its all a really vivid dream so they go back to sleep again
Plz dont nuke me for this
-🩺
I ❤️ SOMNO !!!
you're usually asleep when she gets back from work, save for the few times you wake up because of class/work or because you were too excited for her to get home to sleep. if emery needs to blow off some steam, she usually just jerks off next to you before pulling you into her arms and passing out. emery knows you'll probably wake her up with some morning head because you missed her so much anyway <3
sometimes she can't help herself though. she gets back from work and she's so horny it hurts. so frustrated, in need of some release. she coos at her sleeping partner, gently kissing the side of their face as she kicks off her shoes and slips off her pants. she'll pull the blanket off you and trace her fingers over your body.
emery's always so thankful if she comes home to you already naked in bed for her, like you were hoping she'd take what she needed. it gets her wetter when she opens the bedroom door and you're sleeping on your stomach, buttnaked for her.
emery settling between your thighs, kissing your skin and smoothing out your stomach. emery's eyes lighting up as she watches you stir, placing a bold kiss on your crotch while watching your face. she for sure talks to you even when you're asleep... whispers about how wet you are for her, coos at you and mocks you for whining in your sleep.
emery easing her finger into you, groaning at how soaked you are. emery lazily kissing your hip while she fingers you, shushing you whenever you buck your hips into her face. she gets bold and thrusts her finger faster, wet sounds filling the room and making emery hump the mattress.
she gets so turned on at how responsive you are in your sleep :( still clenching around her fingers, still moaning for her, your hand still finding its way to her head, fingers tugging on her hair.
reader pouting and blinking their tired eyes open, muttering incoherently, still half asleep. emery cooing at you and whispering, "shh, it's okay. you're dreaming. go back to sleep."
emery loves when you tell her about this 'dream' you had about her last night. shyly telling her what she did in it, blissfully unaware that it had actually happened and wasn't just super real.
𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐲: Cassie “needs to get laid”, reader offers to help
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: Cassie x afab reader, written in first person (idk why i made that decision but i don’t feel like reworking it), reader is described as having curly hair but it’s only once or twice, Cassie’s a service top in this idk, kissing, cursing, cunnilings (reader receiving), tribbing, Cassie cums too fast (😏) but she makes it up to reader.
𝐚/𝐧: proofread only once so let me know if there are any mistakes! please give me requests <3
𝐰𝐜: 3.3k — 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭
𝐂𝐀𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐄'𝐒 typing something, I'm sitting at the computer across from the one she’s using. “Man… it’s been a while” Cassie says, almost to herself. “I need to get laid.”
For a brief moment I'm taken aback. Then I get an idea. My voice is low, “Well I'm always here if you need something.” Really the words fall out of my mouth before I can think better of them.
Cassie froze. Her breath hitched slightly and her fingers stopped rolling the name tag on her index finger. The ER suddenly felt ten degrees hotter.
For a heartbeat, she didn’t move. Didn’t blink. Then she turned her head slowly, blue eyes wide with surprise and something else. Before quickly schooling it into that familiar tired smirk you knew so well: “Jesus.” she said back, a laugh behind it. “You’re gonna get us fired.”
My nerves were gone, suddenly I was happy I said it. Cassie glanced around to make sure no one was within earshot, lucky the nurse’s station was empty for once. “Does that mean you’re gonna take me up on the offer?” I can’t help but tease her.
Cassie exhaled sharply through her nose. She rubbed the back of her neck, a nervous tic I'd memorized over months of shared shifts and late-nights. Her cheeks were pink now. “You’re serious?” She muttered, voice lower than before.
Her eyes darted to mine searching for any hesitation, but when all she saw was soft certainty in my gaze she swallowed hard. “We’re on shift.” That’s a weak protest, we both know it.
“You don’t have a car?” my head tilts, eyes more baiting than before. Cassie’s mouth twitched. She swipes her badge one more time before walking past me, putting a hand on my shoulder. “Meet me after our shifts are over.” A slow, dangerous smirk curled at the edge of her lips as she walked away to check on a patient.
Unsurprisingly I wasn’t nearly as tired as I normally am at the end of my shifts. I’m outside in the ambulance bay when I feel a hand on my waist “my car’s this way.” I don’t need to see her to know it’s Cassie, I'd recognize her touch anywhere.
“I can’t say I expected you to be so eager” I giggle, looking at her as she shoots me a sideways glance. “Shut up,” she says but there was no bite, not even close.
Once we got into the car Cassie wastes no time in pulling me onto her lap, the car seat creaked under the shift in weight. For a second, she just stared at me, our faces so close that our breaths tangled together. Her eyes dropped to my lips, then back up again.
One hand cupped the back of my neck, “Are you sure about this?” I smile wider than i probably should at such a question and a soft “absolutely” leaves my lips.
Cassie’s eyes widen ever so slightly before pulling me into a kiss, desperate and messy. An embarrassing whine slips from my lips. That embarrassment is swallowed by the groan that falls from Cassie’s mouth. And God, that sound vibrated straight through my chest.
I moaned again and it unraveled her completely. She kissed me impossibly harder, one hand sliding from my neck down to grip my shoulder while the other tangled in the back of my hair. Her lips moved hungrily against mine, no finesse just need.
Her teeth grazed my bottom lip by accident. A soft nip, then a slow lick to soothe it. Suddenly I feel dizzy, I can’t stop my hips from grinding into her desperate for any kind of friction. Cassie’s breath came out in a sharp, ‘oh’ her whole body tensing beneath me.
The friction was electric. Her hands clenched on my hips not pushing me away, but not guiding either, just frozen for half a second like she couldn’t believe this was really happening. Then instinct took over.
With a quiet whimper that surprised even her, she arched up into the movement meeting your grind with one slow roll of her hips. Her lips crashed back onto mine again, messier now. One hand slid down to grip my thigh hard enough to leave a mark.
When she finally broke for air the first thing she did was press her forehead hard against mine, eyes still closed like if she opened them this would all disappear.
“fuck” I mumble, I can feel her breath against my mouth “m’ gonna put the seat down” She wasn’t exactly asking but still she left room for me to object if I wanted. When I only smiled she reached for the lever on the seat and yanked it down. The seat fell flat with a thud, sending both of us lurching slightly.
Her hands were everywhere; gripping my hips, the back of my neck, tracing my jawline, sliding up my sides and under my top. One sneaking behind to pull me closer as she kissed me like she’d never kissed anyone before.
The streetlights' soft glow filtered through the windows. Giving Cassie just the right amount of light to see me as I lift my top over my head, revealing the simple bra I'm wearing. Cassie’s eyes dropped to my bare stomach then higher, lingering on the simple white cotton bra.
“You’re beautiful,” she murmured, voice thick with sincerity. Then she reached up slowly to brush her fingertips along your collarbone like you were something sacred. A small laugh echoes through the car, a smile on my lips as I unclip my bra.
The moment the bra came off, Cassie’s breath caught. Her eyes darkened, pupils swallowing blue and she exhaled like she’d been punched in the chest.
Then her hands, slightly calloused, cupped your bare breasts gently at first… testing, reverent. A soft sound escaped her a quiet “Jesus” and then she leaned up fast and pressed hot, open-mouthed kisses to my shoulder while one thumb brushed my nipple experimentally.
A soft whimper leaves my mouth, I love this feeling, her eyes all over me. Cassie felt that whimper deep in her chest and something possessive and aching flared inside her.
She kissed the hollow of my throat, then higher, trailing soft lips up to my jaw. One hand still cradled my breast gently, thumb circling with feather-light pressure while the other slid down to grip your waist, holding me close as she kissed my lips. Her tongue slipped past my lips, I can feel it against mine.
I can't stop my hips from bucking, still so desperate. “You're wearing too many clothes” I protest. Cassie broke the kiss with a small, breathless laugh. “Bossy,” she whispers against my lips, voice low and rough like gravel under boots. But she didn’t argue or make me wait.
With a sly look on her face, she grabbed the hem of her tank top and yanked it off over her head. Her hair fell loose, red waves tumbling down her shoulders. She tossed the shirt onto the passenger seat without looking and immediately pulled me impossibly closer, our bare chests pressed together. I can feel her cold chain against my neck.
I pull away to admire her chest, my mouth slightly agape. I waste no time kissing down her neck to her chest, my tongue circling one of her sensitive nipples.
Cassie gasps sharp and loud, her back arching off the seat as my mouth closed over her. Her hands flew to my hair, fingers tangling in the soft curls not pushing or guiding, just holding me, like she might float away.
A quiet moan spilled from her lips, shaky and unfiltered as I sucked gently. Her skin pebbled with goosebumps despite the car’s cozy heat. She bit down on her lower lip to stifle another sound but failed when I switched sides and took her other nipple into my mouth with equal devotion.
I mumble into her chest “I love the sounds you make.” Cassie can feel my smile, it undos something in her.
She tried to answer but all that came out was a breathy whimper as I kissed lower, trailing wet little pecks down towards her ribs. Her hips lifted slightly on instinct, chasing friction. Her breathing has gone ragged, she doesn’t want it to stop.
I kiss back up, taking her thin chain between my lips. Cassie inhaled, “baby come here.” Her voice drives me crazy. I pull away to look her in the eyes. “Please Cas” I don’t know why I’m begging but I am anyway.
Cassie lips pressed against mine once again with a sudden hunger. That “please” hit her like lightning. She responded instantly, one hand slid into my hair again while the other fumbled with the zipper on my pants. Her fingers clumsy with urgency, she broke the kiss just long enough for me to take her pants off as well. There’s just heat between us now and that quiet little beg still echoing in her ears like a prayer.
The car was suddenly so small every breath loud, every shift of fabric deafening. Cassie kicked her pants off completely, her black underwear are the only thing left. Cassie reached out slowly, one finger brushing over my heat gently. A gentle whimper left my mouth. “Can I?” Cassie asked, her face was flushed now. Either from the heat of the car or her from how badly she needed you, who knows.
I’m eager to help her get my underwear off, I'm sure there’s an embarrassingly big smile on my face. Cassie’s breath hitched at my smile, so wide, so happy and something in her chest tightened with pure affection. She peeled off her own underwear without breaking eye contact. The look I was giving her made Cassie feel ten feet tall.
“Fuck” I mutter under my breath, “you’re so wet.” I’m smiling again. I really shouldn’t be talking given I'm just as wet. She didn’t deny it. Her body was screaming with need.
Her eyes ducked to the heat between my legs, a slow smirk curled at Cassie’s lips. She shifted slightly beneath you, leaning up to whisper right against your ear. “Oh please,” she breathed, voice low and teasing “You’re dripping baby.”
“Mhm” I whine as her hand reaches out the cup my cunt. She smirks at me, Cassie loved that whine. It went straight to her head like a shot of whiskey, sweet and dizzying. Her fingertips grazed my inner thigh first, torturously light before finally brushing right where I’m hottest. And when she felt how soaked I really was, her smirk widened.
She didn’t tease for long, just slid two fingers through my folds with deliberate slowness. Then rubbing them gently against my clit. All while watching my face like it was the most fascinating thing in Pittsburgh.
I moan at the feeling, my hand going to her breast. Cassie let out a soft, breathy sigh as my thumb brushed over her nipple, still hard from the attention earlier.
The dual sensation, my touch on her chest and the heat between my thighs where she was now rubbing much faster sent sparks through every nerve in her body.
Her hips lifted slightly off the seat again on instinct, craving friction. I groan feeling her hips buck, “Cas” i moan, probably sounding a bit pathetic. The second I called her ‘Cas’ her eyes lit up. She flipped us over so she’s on top of me, straddling my hips with fire in her blue eyes. Her hair fell around her face like a red curtain in the soft light.
She looked down at me, lips parted slightly and for half a second she just stared. Like this was everything she hadn’t realized she wanted until right now.
The car was silent except for the soft sounds of us kissing, wet lips parting and meeting again, breath mingling. Cassie spread my legs and slotted herself between my thighs, her arousal mixing with mine.
She broke the kiss slowly and trailed open-mouthed kisses down my jaw, then to my neck. Teeth grazing gently over pulse points whilst one hand wandered down my body to cup my breast.
I hiss as her teeth gently sink into my skin. On instinct my hips grind into hers, our clits brushing each other. A jolt of electric pleasure shot through Cassie then she started rolling her hips down with deliberate slowness to recreate the contact.
Her teeth were still gently pressing into my neck, a mark surely forming. I moaned, my head rolling back. Cassie just smiled against my skin. She loved how sensitive I was. How responsive, how every tiny movement made me shiver and whimper and squirm beneath her. So she kept doing it, clits rubbing through wet heat.
Another moan rips from my throat. Cassie only speeds up, her intensity rising. I could tell how much my moans were turning her on by her curses and groans.
Cassie was gone. Every moan I made, loud in the quiet car, sent a fire through her veins. She cursed under her breath, “Fuck baby ” low and ragged, like she’d been punched.
Her hips moved faster now, no longer gentle or exploratory. Chasing that friction with more pressure, grinding down impossibly harder each time our bodies met.
Her breath came in short gasps between gritted teeth. The fact that it was me making those sounds for her, drove her wild beyond reason. One hand slipped down to grip my thigh tightly while the other braced beside your head.
It hasn’t even been a minute and a half that we’ve been doing this. Cassie's moans grew more breathy and desperate. “shit-” her voice broke before she could say more. Cassie shattered, Her whole body tensed.
Her nails dug into my thigh hard, not enough to hurt badly but definitely leaving little marks as a broken string of curses tumbled from her lips. “Shit.” “oh fuck.” Her thighs trembled as she rode it out, her head nuzzled into my neck.
When the pleasure finally subsided Cassie’s eyes flew open. The second she heard my breathy giggle panic hit her like a freight train. She hadn’t meant to cum so fast. She wanted to wait for me, she wanted to come with me.
Her face flushed deep red “Oh god,” she whispered, mortified and immediately covered her face with one of her hands. “hey no” I say, peeling her hand away from her face. “That was hot.” I say kissing her hand.
Cassie's face flushed but this time out of affection not embarrassment. She whimpered softly before our lips met again. A soft brush of mouths that turned deeper, lazy and loving as Cassie finally relaxed into it, all panic gone.
One hand slid to cradle my jaw while the other rested on your shoulder, holding me close like she never wanted to let go. “You’re gonna make it up to me though right?” I tease between slow kisses.
Cassie pulled away ever so slightly, her eyes dropped to my kiss-swollen lips and something flared in her chest. She didn’t hesitate.
“Absolutely,” she said, thick with promise. She kissed me again. Her hands slid down my body, one tracing the curve of my waist while the other gently guided me back against the seat as she hovered over you.
Her mouth left mine and traveled down, kissing my jaw, throat, collarbone. I can't help the moan that leaves my lips. My hand goes to her back, helping to guide her movements to where I need her the most. My gentle tug at Cassie's hair sent a shiver through her.
She loves you touching me like this, trusting and encouraging. Her kisses trail down the center of my chest, then lower until she reaches the swell of my breast. She paused there for a second, breathing me in before gently taking one of the swollen bud into her mouth.
She started slow at first, then slightly firmer when I moaned again under her. The sound was music to her ears. “Shit Cas it feels good” Cassie chuckled against me. She continued her kisses down my stomach. She didn’t rush, but she didn’t linger either.
Now she was hovering above my hips, her blue eyes were dark. “I’m gonna make you feel so good baby” Cassie’s tongue wet her bottom lip. Her hands slid under my thighs, gently pushing them apart to make space. She kissed my hipbone, then the inside of my thighs.
Finally she left a soft kiss on my clit, then she licked over my slit. I can feel her moan against me. A whimper leaves me, “please.”
That did something to Cassie. She’d never heard me beg like that before, not for anything. And it undid her completely.
She speeds up, licking furiously like a women who was starved. “God baby you taste so good.” Her voice vibrated against me before her tongue entered me. “Oh fuuuckk” My head rolls back, “feels so good Cas.”
Cassie wanted to hear that everyday forever, she loved the way my head fell back. My voice was like a gift. She doubled down, learning what rhythm made my fingers tighten in her hair.
She slowly pushed one finger into me, she wasn’t rushing but she wasn’t exactly holding back. All while keeping one hand resting softly on my stomach to keep me grounded.
“you’re doing so good, hon.” She mumbles against me. My hips bucked at the praise, an extra sharp whine fell from my lips. Cassie’s heart clenched with affection and arousal tangled together.
“So pretty.” A second finger entered me. Cassie quickly learned what made me clench around her digits as she continued to murmur praises into my cunt. When my back arched off the seat she rewarded that by speeding up.
“please don’t stop!” I’m surprised I'm able to speak at all. It feels so good. Cassie couldn’t stop. My voice, my pleading, went straight to her core. “I’ve got you Baby” Her voice drives me crazy. Her fingers brushed the spot that made my eyes roll back, black spots appearing in my vision. “I’m close Cas.”
Cassie’s moaned almost as loud as me, her heart pounded. She wouldn’t mind dying between my thighs.
Her lips glistened with my arousal as she whispered, voice rough with want, “God, you taste so good. I love this- love making you feel like this.” She’s whining now too. She looks mesmerized watching her fingers thrust in and out of my cunt. “So beautiful baby, taking it so well”
A loud moan ripped through me, “fuck keep going!” I don’t know if I’m begging her to keep using her tongue, her fingers or begging her to keep talking to me like that.
Cassie didn’t need to be told twice. My begging turned her on like nothing else. She doubled down. Her tongue and fingers moving impossibly faster now, a steady press of warmth and pressure right where it mattered.
Between ravaging she mumbles carelessly against me, “You’re doing so good baby.” “Just let go for me” I’ve got you.”
Her voice was shaky with arousal too, she was loving every second of making me fall apart.
The band inside me finally snapped, the heat bubbles over. I came moaning Cassie's name, my hand over my mouth to stifle some of my noises.
The way I was saying her name like a prayer nearly made her come again. She didn’t stop, not right away. She eased through it, gentle licks now slow and soothing as I rode out each wave. Until finally, when she felt my breath finally slow beneath her touch and silence fell over the car she lifted her head up, her eyes lidded. “Well fuck baby.”
𝐚/𝐧: Thank you so much for reading! I wish so badly that i’d written this in third person ugh. please let me know if there are any mistakes, I proofread it but chances are I missed something lol. Feel free to tell me what you think <3
