Welcome to my personal hell @homelessoul - Tumblr Blog

I hate that after all these years, I still lust over you. I imagine what your hand would feel in mine, what your lips taste like.. I desperately want to go on a 5 hour road trip to close the fantasy. I betray myself everytime I feel this way. -and I hate that you cut me off-/be/bad/with/me/

I don't even know how to put into words on how bad I want him. I wish I could see and kiss him every day. But the more time that passes, the less likely it seems to ever become true. I wish things were different. I wish our love was true. I wish it wasn't built on lies and hiding from the world, especially the people around us.

I miss him with all my heart. But I wish I didn't. I wish I was still heartless with no emotion. I hate this softness that love brings with it. The vulnerability you're forced to put yourself through. I don't know how much more willing I am to show people who I am. I might just give up and isolate until the end of days.

I think I made a big mistake.

But I'm not sure.

I'm never sure on how to feel anymore

As if it is foreign

But, in such a familiar way

I was so used to being scared and confused

Now I'm just not sure anymore. About anything or anyone.

Who am I anyway