Homestuck Quotes

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[homestuck-quotes]

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Hi! I'm planning to go through all of Homestuck and post all the notable quotes I see (and I'll tag my favourites with #fav).

The queue is set to one post a day but I will try to increase it to two soon!

I want to post the quotes in order so no submissions right now, but once I'm done I'll allow them so I can catch any quotes I missed! (You're welcome to submit a quote now if you've seen I've missed it or want to make sure I include it when I get to that point, but it won't be posted until later)

[homestuck-quotes]

Source

[ID: Homestuck memo involving mystery time Jade, current Karkat, and future Karkat reading:

?GG: future karkat, if you really are future karkat......  ?GG: where do you get off thinking you can just suddenly act like were pals because you said you apologized????  ?GG: if you want to apologize then great i am all ears! but just mentioning it off hand and then yelling at yourself the same way you yell at me all the time as if i need a knight to come save me from yourself is so lame, not to mention completely insane  ?GG: i cant even believe the things im typing here! this is so stupid, talking to two of you at once is the worst thing imaginable  ?GG: you treat everyone horribly, even yourself, i cant even fathom how awful it is to be you  ?GG: past karkat, youre acting like a bigger jerk than he is and i think you know that! why dont you take his advice and grow up  ?GG: as if theres even a real difference between you two. three hours is hardly any time at all, you are the same person YOU FUCKING IDIOTS!!!!!!!!!  CCG: OH SHIT FCG: YES, THAT WAS GREAT. WE BOTH HAD IT COMING, ESPECIALLY HIM. GREAT WORK JADE.

End ID]

[homestuck-quotes]

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[ID: Homestuck memo involving mystery time Jade and future Karkat reading:

?GG: i cant take this anymore!!!!!!!! ?GG: i dont even know what im reading here but it's preposterous and ive had it!  ?GG: i am just so angry, i cant believe i let you push me around all those years  ?GG: you are completely out of your mind, i was too nice by just blocking you and typing frowny faces and stuff  ?GG: i should have let you HAVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  FCG: YES!!!!! FCG: LET THIS FUCKER KNOW THE SCORE JADE. THIS IS HOW WE ROLL.  ?GG: SHUT UP!!!!!!!

End ID]

[homestuck-quotes]

Source

[ID: Homestuck memo involving current Karkat and mystery time Jade reading:

CCG: HEY FUTURE ME, WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THIS EXPLODED JADEBOT BUSINESS?  CCG: MUST BE SOMETHING REALLY MISSION CRITICAL, OR JADE WOULDN'T HAVE BOTHERED GETTING IN TOUCH WITH US, RIGHT?  CCG: SOMETHING IMPERATIVE TO OUR SURVIVAL NO DOUBT? CCG: HEY DOUCHE BAG, ARE YOU THERE

??? gardenGnostic [?GG] AT ?:?? responded to memo. 

?GG: oh jeez, why am i doing this ?GG: this is so stupid! CCG: PIPE DOWN HARLEY, THIS PRACTICALLY DOESN'T EVEN CONCERN YOU AT THIS POINT

End ID]

[homestuck-quotes]

Source

[ID: Homestuck chat conversation between Karkat and Jade reading:

CG: WAIT CG: OK LOOK CG: I SERIOUSLY, HONESTLY DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.  CG: YOU SAY YOUR ROBOT BLEW UP, AND THAT WAS SOME SORT OF SIGNAL TO MESSAGE ME?  GG: yes GG: as if my day needed another reason to get worse CG: YOU PROBABLY DIDN'T CONTACT THE RIGHT ME. GG: what does that mean! CG: I MEAN FUTURE ME IS PROBABLY THE ONE TO TALK TO ABOUT THIS.  CG: SINCE IT'S ALL NEWS TO ME. GG: is this another prank GG: you are seriously the worst at pranks CG: I DON'T PLAY PRANKS, THAT'S JUVENILE NONSENSE. CG: I DO TWO THINGS AND TWO THINGS ONLY, I DEVASTATE SORRY MOTHERFUCKERS, AND GET SHIT DONE AS AN AWESOME LEADER.  CG: IN THIS CASE, I AM ACCOMPLISHING THE LATTER. CG: HERE, CLICK THIS AND WE WILL SOLVE THE MYSTERY TOGETHER. CG: (an image containing clip art of an apple, orange, lemon, and lime with faces. "FRUITY RUMPUS ASSHOLE FACTORY" is written in grey above them.) GG: :| (flat face made with a colon and vertical bar)

End ID]

[homestuck-quotes]

Source

[ID: Homestuck chat conversation between Jade and Karkat reading:

GG: i cant believe i fell for this GG: it was just a setup to troll me some more GG: why do you go to such lengths to troll me? i just dont understand it  CG: TRY TO BE CULTURALLY SENSITIVE CG: TROLLING IS AN ACTIVITY THAT SHARES A NAME WITH MY ENTIRE SPECIES  CG: DO I GET ON YOUR CASE FOR ALL THE TERRIBLE HUMANNING YOU DO?  GG: thats ridiculous, humanning isnt a word GG: and if it was, it would be a nicer thing to do than trolling!  GG: you know what i mean, stop pretending you dont CG: TELL ME JADE CG: WHY ARE YOU SUCH A RACIST? GG: aaaaaaa that is something a troll would say! CG: YES, EXACTLY. CG: I AM A TROLL. IT SEEMS WE ARE ON THE SAME PAGE. GG: i mean you are being patronizing and disingenuous to get a rise out of me  GG: and that is really really shitty!!!!!! GG: i am so tired of it, and i am done talking to you forever  GG: bye karkat, it was awful knowing you!

End ID]

[homestuck-quotes]

Source

[ID: Homestuck chat conversation between Feferi and Jade reading:

CC: HELL YEAH! 38D (open mouth happy face with a crown and goggles, made with a three, eight, and uppercase D) GG: argh GG: sorry but GG: could you please GG: not use all those stupid parentheses?????? GG: i can hardly read what you type and its giving me a migraine  CC: GLUUUUB oh fine. CC: I will suspend my neato quirk just for you. CC: I hereby renounce the royal mark of sea dweller supremacy in the interest of INTERSPECIES DIPLOMACY.  GG: what about the -E thing, can you stop that too? it is also annoying and stupid  CC: JEGUS JADE. CC: Look! It is like a cool trident I throw sometimes.  CC: Woooooo ---------------E (several dashes followed by a capital E) CC: How is that not awesome! GG: meh :\ (unimpressed face made with a colon and backslash) CC: Okay, you win. I have officially humbled myself before you. Entirely glubbing peasant-IFICATED for your pleasure.  CC: Shall I clip my fins for you as well, your majesty?  GG: hehehe

End ID]

[homestuck-quotes]

Source

[ID: Homestuck chat conversation between Jade and Feferi reading:

GG: bluhhh what are you talking about.... GG: my head hurts GG: just stop it, stop trolling me GG: i hate you all!!!!!!!!!!!!! CC: Holy mackerel, looks like SOMEONE woke up on the wrong side of the absurd human bed!

End ID]

[homestuck-quotes]

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[ID: Homestuck chat message from Davesprite reading:

DAVESPRITE: caw caw motherfuckers

End ID]

[homestuck-quotes]

I'm going to change the queue to once per day until my exams are over (mid-June) to make sure I can keep up with it :)

[homestuck-quotes]

I'm going to have to extend this a bit - Tumblr is completely broken on Firefox at the moment so I have to queue posts on Safari instead and the UI differences are completely throwing me off. I'll switch back to two quotes a day when either I get more used to Safari or they fix the website on Firefox (please please please it's been like a month...)

[homestuck-quotes]

Source

[ID: Homestuck conversation between Davesprite and Dave reading:

DAVESPRITE: oh looks like you got caledfwlch DAVESPRITE: you found that pretty fast DAVE: is that how you pronounce that DAVESPRITE: yeah i guess so DAVESPRITE: i think its welsh DAVE: what are welsh things doing in this game DAVESPRITE: thats an awesome question DAVE: fuck yeah it is

End ID]

[homestuck-quotes]

Source

[ID: Homestuck chat conversation between Terezi and Dave reading:

GC: SHEESH! GC: YOU AND HIM ARE ALIKE IN SOME WAYS GC: REALLY BLUNT AND LITERAL MINDED GC: AND QUITE FRANKLY JUST A LITTLE BIT TACTLESS WHEN IT COMES TO MANAGING THE LADIES! GC: HE ALWAYS HAD TO KNOW EXACTLY WHAT THE DEAL WAS AND EXACTLY WHAT MY MOTIVATIONS WERE AND WHAT EVERYTHING MEANT AND BLUH BLUH BLUH GC: IT TAKES THE FUN OUT OF EVERYTHING! TG: thats pretty much the most insulting thing possible to say im anything like that raving gulf of shit GC: WELL OK IM SORT OF EXAGGERATING GC: BUT REALLY GC: SOME SIMILARITIES ARE THERE GC: ITS JUST YOUR ISSUES ARE GC: COOLER >:] (happy face with eyebrows/horns made with a greater than sign, colon, and closing bracket) GC: LESS RIDICULOUS AND TRAGIC TG: issues TG: what are you talking about GC: WELL, FOR INSTANCE GC: KARKAT WAS ALWAYS TORMENTED BY HIS PAST AND FUTURE SELVES GC: AND THEIR MISTAKES GC: LITERALLY TORMENTED BY THEM IN THESE ABSURD SCHIZOPHRENIC MEMOS GC: IT WAS IDEAL FUEL FOR HIS SELF LOATHING GC: HE BECAME OBSESSED WITH HIMSELF AS AN ELUSIVE ADVERSARY GC: RATHER THAN JUST BEING HIMSELF IN THE MOMENT AND REALIZING WHO HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE GC: AND WAKING UP >:[ (annoyed face with eyebrows/horns made with a greater than sign, colon, and opening bracket) TG: wow ok what does that have to do with me GC: NOTHING IN A LITERAL SENSE GC: BUT I HAVE OBSERVED YOU DAVE GC: YOU ARE ALWAYS GETTING BAILED OUT OF JAMS GC: AT FIRST BY YOUR BRO GC: AND THEN BY YOUR OWN FUTURE SELVES! GC: EVEN FUTURE DAVESPRITE GETS IN ON THE ACT OF SHOWING UP POOR OLD PRESENT DAVE GC: WHEN DOES PRESENT DAVE GET TO STEP OUT OF THE SHADOW OF ALL THOSE FUTURE DAVES?? GC: WHEN DOES HE GET TO BE THE HERO, THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO KNOW >:D (open mouth happy face with eyebrows/horns made with a greater than sign, colon, and uppercase D) TG: i dunno i guess maybe when i become future me GC: HAHAHAHAHAHA GC: THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT KARKAT USED TO SAY GC: IT WAS ALWAYS THE ANSWER

End ID]

[homestuck-quotes]

Source (page)

[ID: A screenshot from Homestuck showing one of Terezi's drawings for Dave. It reads: "totally no reason to ever take my shades off ever!!!!! oops i dont use shout poles i forgot" End ID]

[homestuck-quotes]

Source

[ID: A screenshot from Homestuck that reads "LEGENDARY PIECE OF SHIT". The text is yellow with a red shadow. End ID]

[homestuck-quotes]

Source - Source - Source - Source

[ID: Four sections of Homestuck narration reading:

This...

Is...

Motherfuckin...

BlAsPhEmY

"Blasphemy" is large, is written in Gamzee's quirk, and the letters are filled with flames.

End ID]

[homestuck-quotes]

Source

[ID: Homestuck conversation between Jaspersprite and Rose reading:

JASPERSPRITE: I love you rose! I always have even when you were a little girl and i was an alive cat. ROSE: Thanks, Jaspers, that's nice to hear. ROSE: It's hard to remember, but I'm pretty sure I felt the same way back then. JASPERSPRITE: It was fun getting to be your cat again rose even if it was just for a little while and also while being a princess ghost. JASPERSPRITE: Bye rose! ROSE: See you, Jaspers! ROSE: If you see my mother in the course of your travels, tell her I said hello. JASPERSPRITE: Ok I will do that! :3 (cat face, colon three)

End ID]

[homestuck-quotes]

Source + Source

[ID: A command and narration from Homestuck:

> Aradia: Randomly explode.

You fail to randomly explode.

Of course you were just venting about all that. Why would you blow yourself up on account of that silly conversation? What rational reason could you possibly have to blow yourself up, or explode from any cause for that matter, now or at any point in the near future?

It just makes no sense.

End ID]