Where The Heart Is
[ONESHOT]
pairing: platonic ot6 notes: uh... so i don’t know if any of yall noticed but i’ve gotten back into naruto and almost completely abandoned my vixx fics but fear not! i’ll get back to them. comeback season is soon, so that might give me the push i need. until then, have this! words: 1,310
Tired of watching Hakyeon absently sip at his water as a way to avoid conversation, he eventually asks, "What is it?"
When Hakyeon flicks the lights on after coming inside, he isn't surprised to find Taekwoon lounged on the couch, blinking sleep from his eyes. He lifts his tired expression a little and takes off his coat.
"You love me that much?" he teases without much feeling.
Taekwoon rolls his eyes. "You were gone longer than I thought you would be."
"Mmm." Hakyeon hangs the padded coat into the closet next to the door, along with his muffler. He swallows around the lump forming in his throat and goes about getting a glass of water to subdue the uncomfortable emotion lodging itself there.
Taekwoon watches him, pushing his hair from his eyes. That familiar sag to his shoulders tells him that something's on Hakyeon's mind outside of the numbing tiredness that follows all of them around. Frankly, he's surprised he even woke himself up enough to greet Hakyeon at all.
A few moments of silence slink by.
Tired of watching Hakyeon absently sip at his water as a way to avoid conversation, he eventually asks, "What is it?"
The glass taps onto the tabletop. Hakyeon glances over his shoulder and sees the room Taekwoon made for him on the couch. He sighs to himself after a long minute and takes his place on the cushion moments later. Taekwoon's lingering body heat helps him melt into it, helps loosen his muscles up. He blinks blearily at the ceiling.
"Our lease is almost up."
At the words, Taekwoon tenses oddly. From Hakyeon's behavior, he'd suspected something more... dire? Like they had somehow gotten in trouble or some unpaid debt popped up—their lease was the farthest thing from his mind.
"...Oh."
"I know." Hakyeon responds. "Mr. Hwang wanted to talk to me about that. He asked me about our living dynamics and if we were comfortable. I... answered him as best as I could, but... How am I supposed to know?"
How am I supposed to know?
Something is horribly helpless about that question. Taekwoon can only speak for himself, but he's okay with the others. Happy, even. Happier than he thought he'd ever be.
"It's not like last time." Hakyeon says.
He's right; last time they moved, the company required that they stay together. It was cost-efficient for one, and for two, it supposedly strengthened their bond as a group and... family. That was something like two years ago and since then, both nothing and everything had changed.
"He said to think about it thoroughly... Two years is a long time." Hakyeon folds his hands over his stomach. "A lot can change."
"We'll be old." is all Taekwoon can think to say. "We'll be thirty."
"Thirty..." Hakyeon repeats to himself, like he can't understand what that word means. "That's not the point." His mouth screws petulantly. "What do you suppose the others will have to say?"
Taekwoon shrugs though figures that he should say something lighthearted because of how unusually damper Hakyeon sounds about the subject. Not that he's one to talk; his stomach is churning oddly too.
"Hongbin has been threatening to move out almost every week for a year now because we can't clean up after ourselves... He might jump at this."
Even though that's his awful attempt at a joke, Hakyeon tenses next to him. It startles Taekwoon enough that he has to lean away and look at him, only to be surprised at the telltale sign of his eyes.
"Hakyeon...?"
"Wonsik practically already lives on his own." Hakyeon whispers, almost cutting him off. "Do you think... he likes it? Are we—Am I too suffocating? I mean, you seem fine with it of course. Time apart is healthy, I know. It is. It feels good to be on your own every now and then. He stays there most of the week though. Sometimes we only see him during schedules. It's not like we see each other a lot when we're promoting together—one or more of us is always doing something else. Which is not bad. Time apart is not bad at all, and I think—"
"Hakyeon."
How am I supposed to know?
Sometime during Hakyeon's rambling in which he'd abandoned his whispered tone, Taekwoon's heart had begun to race with distress.
I'm the leader and I don't know?
Hakyeon abruptly sits up and bends over, cradling his face in his hands. Anxiety restrains Taekwoon from doing more than mere staring.
Figuring out what Hakyeon's feeling isn't difficult because Taekwoon can feel it too. Things are different from the last time they'd moved. They're older now, more experienced. A lot of groups from their generation are already living apart from each other—even groups younger than them are already doing that, so what does it say about them, the odd ones out?
It seems like they've always been the odd ones out.
Taekwoon has always been fine living with the others. More than fine. Yes, they sometimes grind on his nerves like no other, but he loves them and cherishes their company. He can't be absolutely sure, but the others had to feel some semblance of the same (because none of them are all that great at hiding their true feelings).
And yes, he would like it if Wonsik came home to them more—he knows Hyuk would appreciate it too—but this life is their job and they've long since figured out what they signed up for. Wonsik is in love with his job, and it's easier to live in his studio than be expected to go back and forth every single day. Some things just can't be changed. Hakyeon knows that too.
"Are you afraid?"
Hakyeon's voice is shaken, but the question holds steady. He's only asked Taekwoon this question once before, phrased exactly like that: the night before their debut, when all six of them were piled on the cheap floorboards of their first dorm, and the other four were asleep. That time, he'd been asking, Are you ready? Are you ready to leave your hands in the fate of these five other people and hope that it all goes well?
This time, he's asking, Are you ready? Are you ready to separate a piece of yourself and live a life you've never truly known? Are you ready to be on your own?
He sucks in a sharp breath. That's answer enough for Hakyeon.
"...We'll have to have a fami—...group meeting about it." he eventually says, and then clasps Hakyeon's shoulder. "Whatever all of us decide... I'm sure it will work out."
With a deep breath, Hakyeon sits straight. He glances at Taekwoon in the low light of the room, and the faint glow outlines his tiredness. Taekwoon imagines he doesn't look much better.
"We should get to bed." Hakyeon finally says, and stands from the couch. He gives a somber smile to Taekwoon before heading off to his bedroom.
"Hey," Taekwoon says to his back, and he pauses but doesn't turn around. "Moving out doesn't mean we're not close. We'll always be together."
His words put a slump to Hakyeon's shoulders and he escapes quicker than he should've. Taekwoon sits back, not quite ready to get up, and pulls out his phone. There's a sole notification, from Wonsik.
As he swipes it open, he thinks about how he doesn't really believe what he said. Is it really possible for them to be close if they live apart? It's been a long time since Taekwoon's had friends like that. He can't remember what it was like or how it worked. He suspects none of them do. It vaguely crosses his mind that Jaehwan would die if he weren't constantly surrounded by people.
In the chat, there's a picture of Butt and the top half of Wonsik's face. The caption says, We miss you~ with aegyo and cute emojis. Taekwoon raises his eyebrows.
Well... It's not the first time he's been wrong.
