i'm money, bitch!

" living in new york has taught me that life's full of surprises. they can be scary, but if you're open to them, they can also change your life. " ind. & sel. june colburn from don't trust the b in apartment 23 written by skye

[honestcolburn]

“  I’m gonna fix this my way. I am going to kill her… with kindness!  ”   independent & private june colburn of abc’s don’t trust the b in apartment 23. rebooted march 2019. written by skye.

[honestcolburn]

( jessica jones... sort of. )

@honestcolburn * b i t c h

MAYBE, SOMETIMES, SHE FEELS A BIT GUILTY. Jessica does, at least. Jessica feels guilty for June having put up with her. ( With Chloe, with herself, it’s fucking confusing. Especially since she SHOULDN’T be feeling guilty about it. Because Chloe doesn’t feel guilty about the shit she pulls. )

Because Jessica knows Chloe didn’t sign up for a SUPER FREAK in her apartment. But unfortunately, that’s one thing she can’t get rid of. Because right now, she’s on the floor, trying to fix their cabinet door she…. MIGHT’VE torn off…..

Might have. ( She totally did, but Chloe’s ninety pounds soaking wet, which Jessica THINKS is impossible for her to have done, so she’s trying to find a cover story. )

“June!” She forces her voice to sound LIGHT, but she jumps out of her skin when she hears the door open. Her head slams into the edge of the cabinet as she tries to stand up as quick as possible, twisting to face her blonde roommate. “I adopted a snake, and he – tore the cabinet door off, he’s a BIG SNAKE,” she didn’t, none of that happened, but it’s the FIRST THING that comes to her mind. “And he might’ve escaped.” Perfect cover story, right? Nailed it, Jess.

she had barely made it two steps into the apartment before she FROZE. at first, it was in surprise -- the sight of her roommate holding a broken cabinet door and looking... odd. although, after a second’s thought, she wasn’t sure why she should be surprised. every time she thought she had this girl pegged, something new would happen to BLOW HER MIND all over again. 

but when she heard the word SNAKE, her surprise turned to naked terror. she dropped her bag and keys onto the floor with a clatter, and before the other woman could say another word, june was scrambling onto the nearest chair, arms clutched around herself protectively. 

“  snake?!? are you out of your mind?!  ”    her voice was tight with panic as eyes darted nervously around the room.    “  you -- you have to catch it! now! like, RIGHT NOW!  ”    she stammered. 

but then...    

“  wait a second. you’re MESSING with me aren’t you?  ”

[honestcolburn]

( chloe decker. )

God, she hated homicides at parties.

The witnesses were always drunk, hungover, or some disgusting variation thereof. They were usually kids too young to understand the gravity of a murder investigation, and–on top of everything–had a predisposition to tampering with or outright DESTROYING evidence out of paranoia they’d be arrested on possession charges.

Nights like this made her think her mother might have been right about becoming an actress.

“Two people are DEAD. You get that, right?” It was harsh, but Chloe wasn’t allowed to physically slap the girl across the face, so a mental slap would have to do. “So let’s start from the beginning, shall we?”

she froze. the explanations and excuses that had been at the tip of her tongue dried up instantly. dead? oh god! oh god, oh god... she hadn’t realized things had gotten so out of hand. at worst she’d assumed some kind of drug bust or a kidnapping or something. but murder? she immediately sat up straighter, doing her best to organize her thoughts into something coherent, but for a moment, the best she could do was stare at the detective in shock. 

finally, she managed to force a few words past her dry lips.    “  i - um - i’m sorry, i had no idea that people...  ”    she couldn’t quite bring herself to say the word died. she was feeling nauseous enough as it was.    “  it was all so crowded and - and crazy...  ”    june stopped herself and took a deep breath.    “  okay. the beginning. right, yes -- i can do that. well, my roommate had these vip tickets and thought it would be fun, so we went! we just had a few drinks and then --  ”

suddenly, she reached forward, impulsively grabbing the detective’s hand.    “  oh my god, do you really think i killed someone?!?  ”    she cried desperately. 

[liikelightningsource-blog]

MOVIE SENTENCE STARTERS: 80S EDITION

below are a collection of quotes from some of my favorite 80s movies.

ADVENTURES IN BABYSITTING

“I’ll make it very clear: you slip me the cash, and I’ll slip you the weiner.” “Don’t fuck with the babysitter.” “Nobody leaves this place without singing the blues.” “Get out of my house!” “I can only dream about having somebody like her as a girlfriend, but you’ve got her, and you treat her like this?” “Don’t waste your time, half pint. Her legs are locked together at the knee.” “I’d love to hit you. I’d love to pound on your face!” “You’re so slimy, I won’t sink to your level.” “If you give me any grief I swear to God I’ll kill you. Dead, murdered, stabbed.” “Get in the car and run him over.” “How could a righteous babe like you be lonely?” “That’s the sweetest thing anybody’s ever said to me.” “My only shot at ever being in a gang fight and all I get is one stitch?” “Tonight is going to be the greatest night of your life.” “I am not losing anything, I am still in control here! Got it?” “I’m trying to get a date, you’re cramping my style!” “Girls like you come along once in a lifetime.” “And you’re just a girl in love with an asshole.” “I got a little banged up.”

BACK TO THE FUTURE

“Great Scott!” “Where we’re going, we don’t need roads.” “This is heavy.” “Why do you keep calling me Calvin?” “It’s written all over your underwear.” “Hey, you! Get your damn hands off her!” “I finally invent something that works!” “Maybe you were adopted.” “I guess you aren’t ready for that yet.” “You look so familiar to me. Do I know your mother?” “Are you sure about this storm?” “Since when can weathermen predict the weather, let alone the future?” “You’ve really made a difference in my life. You’ve given me something to shoot for.” “I’m really gonna miss you.” “Even if your intentions are good, it can backfire drastically!” “If you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything.” “What the hell is a gigawatt?” “It’s not like I’ve never parked before.” “You seem so nervous. Is something wrong?” “I swiped it from the old lady’s liquor cabinet.” “If you let people walk over you now, they’ll be walking over you for the rest of your life.” “I figured, what the hell?” “Since you’re new here, I’m gonna cut you a break, today.” “Why don’t you make like a tree and get outta here?” “I thought I told you never to come in here.” “I’m your density.” “I’ve never picked a fight in my entire life.” “I can’t keep up of all of your boyfriends!” “History is gonna change.” “One rejection isn’t the end of the world.” “What are you looking at, butthead?” “I’m gonna get that son of a bitch.” “Say hi to your mom for me.” “Where are my pants?” “I’ve never seen purple underwear before!” “I have your car towed all the way to your house and all you got for me is lite beer?” “You really think I ought to swear?”

PRETTY IN PINK

“We don’t have a candy machine in the boy’s room!” “I’m not particularly concerned with whether or not you like me.” “I can’t believe you’re saying this.” “She thinks you’re shit. And deep down, you know she’s right.” “It’s called a sense of humor - you should get one - they’re nice.” “C'mon, I’m talking about more than just sex here.” “You know, I’ve been out with a lot of girls at this school. I don’t see what makes you so different.” “I have taste.” “You’re a bitch” “I’m off like a dirty shirt.” “I just want them to know that they didn’t break me.” “You don’t have the guts to tell me the truth.” “That’s a major appliance, that’s not a name!” “You know what an older women does for me?” “May I admire you?” “Drinking and driving don’t mix – that’s why I ride a bike.” “Why don’t you just… nail her, and get it over with?” “Why are you getting involved?” “I’m getting really bored with this conversation, all right?” “If you want your piece of low-grade ass, fine.” “Does he have… strong lips?” “This is a really volcanic ensemble you’re wearing, it’s really marvelous!” “I believed in you. I just didn’t believe in me.” “Good Morning! Welcome to another day of higher education!” “This is an incredibly romantic moment, and you’re ruining it for me!” “Love’s a bitch.” “Do you hear yourself? Do you hear the same asshole shit I hear?” “What, do I have to spell it out for you?” “Nobody appreciates your sense of humor.” “Why don’t you go to take a shower, you look like shit.”

THE BREAKFAST CLUB

“We’re all pretty bizarre. Some of us are just better at hiding it, that’s all.” “I’ll do anything sexual. I don’t need a million dollars to do it either.” “I’m a nymphomaniac.” “I’m not going to discuss my private life with total strangers.” “If you say you haven’t, you’re a prude. If you say you have you’re a slut. It’s a trap.” “You’re a tease and you know it.” “Why don’t you just answer the question?” “What do you need a fake I.D. for?” “You wanna come over sometime?” “Eat my shorts.” “I’m doing society a favor.” “You really think I give a shit?” “Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe?” “Screws fall out all the time, the world is an imperfect place.” “Why are you being so nice to me?” “Chicks cannot hold their smoke, dat’s what it is.” “When you grow up, your heart dies.” “I have a really low tolerance for dehydration.” “I could disappear forever and it wouldn’t make any difference.” “I might as well not even exist at this school, remember?” “You’re so pathetic.” “Don’t you ever compare yourself to me.” “Do you know how popular I am? I am so popular. Everybody loves me so much at this school.” “You won’t accept a guy’s tongue in your mouth, and you’re going to eat that?” “I’m telling the truth, that makes me a bitch?” “You have problems.” “Speak for yourself.” “You’re kind of sexy when you’re angry.” “Would you mind telling me how you know all this about me?” “I don’t think either one of them gives a shit about me. It’s like they use me just to get back at each other.” “Being bad feels pretty good, huh?” “You ask me one more question and I’m beating the shit out of you.” “Have you ever been felt up? Over the bra, under the blouse, shoes off… “

THE GOONIES

“It’s our time down here.” “Just throw everything into cardboard boxes.” “Always separate the drugs.” “I want you to spill your guts, tell us everything!” “I’m not all alone in the dark. I like the dark. I love the dark.” “That was so nice of you.” “If you do a bad job you’ll be locked in here with the cockroaches for two weeks without food or water.” “You know, your voice is kind of nice when your mouth isn’t screwing it up.” “Your looks are kind of pretty when your face isn’t screwing it up.” “C'mon, give me a lickery kiss!” “Hey, are you hungry? I got a Baby Ruth.” “You’re even hungrier than I am.” “Is this supposed to be water?” “I’m setting booty traps.” “Looks fine to me.” “Okay, this is the little boys’ room, and that cave over there is the little girls’ room.” “Next time you kiss him, do it with your eyes open. It’s a whole different experience.” “Senior Jerk Alert!” “I’m gonna hit you so hard that when you wake up your clothes will be out of style!” “What happened to your braces?” “You know, I just want to say thank you. For offering to save my life.” “Man! You smell like Phys Ed!” “Watch your hair! Watch your hair! They’re goin’ for the hair!” “My God, I’m in a crazy house!” “This is ridiculous. It’s crazy. I feel like I’m babysitting, except I’m not getting paid.” “I just saw the most amazing thing in my entire life!” “First, you gotta do the truffle shuffle.” “I’m pretty much ODing on all your bullshit stories!” “You’ve got a great body.”

FERRIS BUELLER’S DAY OFF

“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” “You’re my hero.” “A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in himself.” “I could be the walrus. I’d still have to bum rides off people.” “You can’t respect somebody who kisses your ass. It just doesn’t work.” “Pardon my French, but you’re an asshole!” “Look, don’t make me participate in your stupid crap if you don’t like the way I do it.” “It is his fault he didn’t lock the garage.” “I am not going to sit on my ass as the events that affect me unfold to determine the course of my life.” “You’re still here? It’s over!” “The key to faking out the parents is the clammy hands.” “It’s a little childish and stupid, but then, so is high school.” “Your ass is mine.” “You realize if we played by the rules right now we’d be in gym?” “The city looks so peaceful from up here.”  “Anything is peaceful from one thousand, three hundred and fifty-three feet.” “I am very cute, very alone and very protective of my body.” “Gummi bear? It’s been in my pocket; they’re real warm and soft.” “You killed the car.” “You have nothing to worry about. I’m a professional.” “I think we should shoot her.” “What are you interested in?” “Get off of the float!” “In a nutshell: I hate my brother.” “Are you suggesting that I’m not who I say I am?” “You’re a beautiful man. I want to thank you for your warmth and compassion.” “I asked for a car, I got a computer. How’s that for being born under a bad sign?” “Four thousand restaurants in the downtown area, I pick the one my father goes to.” “Only the meek get pinched. The bold survive.” “Go piss up a flagpole.” “You heartless wench!” “I weep for the future.” “If you’re not over here in fifteen minutes, you can find a new best friend.” “You’re not dying, you just can’t think of anything good to do.” “Do you have a kiss for daddy?” “What a little asshole.” “You sounded like Dirty Harry just then.” “You wear too much eye makeup. My sister wears too much. People think she’s a whore.” “I can’t drive when you’re yelling at me!” “Smile, babe. Just smile…”

FOOTLOOSE

“Do you wanna kiss me?” “I get the feeling you’ve been kissed a lot, and I’m afraid I’d suffer by comparison.” “I thought only pansies wore neckties.” “I thought only assholes used the word ‘pansy’.” “Son of a bitch is gonna pay for that!” “Hey, hey! What’s this I see? I thought this was a party.” “I’m no saint you know. I’m not even a virgin.” “Don’t you talk like that here!” “How come you don’t like me?”  “What makes you think that I don’t like you?”  “You never talk to me at school. You never look at me!” “I see you chasing after her and I see her running from you.” “I was almost jealous.” “Sometimes people run out of things to say.” “Hey, I like that hat, man. They sell men’s clothes where you got that?” “I thought I was alone.” “You want out of here so bad you probably memorize bus schedules.” “Who were you with?” “I don’t want you to see him anymore.” “I’ve heard he’s a troublemaker.” “I don’t know what I’m going to do with you.” “You like it or not, this is it. It doesn’t get much better.” “I just don’t know that I believe in everything you believe in. But I believe in you.” “If you ask me, he’s a total fox.” “It seems that a lot of people are pointing the finger in your direction lately.” “You figured where there’s smoke there’s fire, right?” “You’ve got an attitude problem.” “Is that what I get, huh? I treated you decent!” “I was about through with you anyway!” “No fights, you don’t even know this guy.”

[honestcolburn]

( kim possible. )

            sweet salvation in the form of a columbian brew was just moments away from gracing her lips and picking her up from the mid-morning slump. overdramatic, sure, but even on spring break time she was brought out of her slumber back home in colorado to deal with a heist on the east coast—and now, in true kim possible fashion, she was making a day of it. and naturally, part of that included stares, and in this case—full out squealing.

            ‘   it’s great to meet you too!   ’   despite how tired she felt, a genuine smile still stretches across her lips as she meets the barista’s eyes. she’s a little older than her usual enthusiastic audience, but she welcomes it nonetheless as she searches for a name tag.   ‘— june. know if there are any bueno nachos in the city?   ’   she knows ron’s gonna flip if he doesn’t get a naco in his system soon and she’s trying to avoid all drama she can.

      okay, yes -- she might technically be a little outside the kim possible fan demographic, but... who cares? who wouldn’t be enthusiastic about the closest thing anybody has to an actual, real-life super hero? a person would have to be a joyless cynic not to get a kick out of reading news stories about fantastic heists and rescues -- all done with perfect hair and not an ounce of sweat! she would totally watch that show...

       but at kim’s question, she grimaces apologetically.    “  afraid not. i don’t think they’re really an east coast thing. i mean, trust me -- i totally get the disappointment! i’m from indiana and when i moved here, i had to settle for taco bell,  ”    she adds, nose scrunching in disgust. june leans in excitedly, lowering her voice a little too dramatically to be very secretive.    “  so, are you here on a mission?  ”

[honestcolburn]

( chloe. )

          freshly manicured nails flip idly through a fashion magazine as she takes a mid-afternoon break from organizing her social calendar; she almost misses her roommate’s burning question  ( it didn’t take long for her to learn to tune out the bubbly inflection of her voice; unlearning was another story entirely ).   ‘   hmmm? oh, that was your bed?   ’   words are spoken with complete innocence as she looks up from her magazine, the faintest hint of apology stretched across her expression, before it dissolves completely into indifference with a shrug.   ‘   i mean, it’s not like you were using it—if you need to bang a dude out, the couch is dwayne johnson proof.   ’   no more elaboration as she turns back to the glossy pages of vogue, greeted by shoulder pads of all things. pfft. anna wintour has officially lost it.

          it’s fine. she’ll get it back. it’s fine. this isn’t a problem! at least that’s the optimistic internal monologue she forces through her head. meanwhile, the tight smile on her face has become more and more pained.     “  oh! right! of course! what was i thinking? no problem, chloe --   ”    she can hear her own voice getting higher, but she can’t help herself.    “  i mean, i know you’re basically a vampire, but some of us need to sleep.  ”    she reaches out to snatch the magazine out of her friend’s hand. her mouth opens to demand answers -- and a sudden thought distracts her.    “  also -- the back left leg on that couch totally wobbles. it is most definitely not dwayne johnson proof or even george cloo -- ugh! that is not the point! where’s my bed, chloe?  ”

[honestcolburn]

// what we do in the shadows au.

thank you for your time.

[honestcolburn]

              it wasn’t every day your roommate turned you into an unsuspecting drug mule, but, maybe in her case... it was. but debating that inevitability didn’t exactly help her with the very, very serious-looking detective in front of her. june offered a weak smile.    “  i’m guessing you’re not going to believe me when i say they’re definitely not mine?  ”  she asked hopefully.  //  @detbadass ♥︎’d

[honestcolburn]

                             she opened her bedroom door, stared for a moment, then promptly shut it again. she squeezed her eyes shut. she was trying to convince herself that she’d imagined it, but... she already knew she hadn’t. with a short, exasperated sigh, june turned on her heel and went back into the living room.    “  chloe?  ”    her voice was as patient as she could make it sound -- but her irritation was already bubbling over.    “  i had a bed when i left for work this morning....  ”    her hands settled on her hips and her eyebrows shot up so far they nearly reached her  hairline.    “  why don’t i have a bed anymore??  ”     //     @timemend ♥︎’d 

[honestcolburn]

it was her own fault, really. she should have known better. she did know better! but when chloe had sashayed in one night, brandishing two first class tickets to los angeles, june’s better judgement had flown out the window. of course it would all be a disaster. of course they would wind up under arrest. although... if she was being honest, before those albanian mafia guys had crashed the party, it had been pretty fun... no! she would not get carried away again. be polite, be helpful!

“  detective -- i understand you’re just doing your job, but i swear my friend and i had nothing to do with this!  ”    it wasn’t until the words were out of her mouth that she realized shouldn’t quite be sure about her roommate... but she pushed on anyway.    “  this has all been a crazy, crazy misunderstanding...  ”   //    @touchedbyadevil ♥︎’d

[honestcolburn]

                    “  oh... my god. oh my god! you’re kim possible. the kim possible!  ”    her shocked stare turned into a broad grin as she completely forgot about the woman’s drink order. she -- barely -- resisted the urge to bounce up and down in excitement.    “  i can’t believe it! this is --  ”    she stopped herself. god, get it together, colburn! june cleared her throat.    “  it’s, um -- it’s really great to meet you. big fan.  ”  //  @sheroic ♥︎’d

[honestcolburn]

// what’s up this is a starter call.

[caitliinstasey]

chloe walking in on june masturbating.

[bridgetjones]

I’m gonna fix this my way.

[nightblood-deactivated20200815]

[honestcolburn]

“  I'm gonna fix this my way. I am going to kill her... with kindness!  ”   independent & private june colburn of abc’s don’t trust the b in apartment 23. rebooted march 2019. written by skye.

[honestcolburn]

new tag drop #2