day in my life

[ableist-log]

hiya

- you can call me log (he/him) 📋

- powerchair user 👨‍🦼

- my diagnoses aren't your business 🙅‍♂️

- this blog is mostly my own experiences, but submissions are welcome and i might reblog disability community posts as well

- dms open to fellow cripples only

- if you have access needs i can support, let me know

[taylortut]

the “sexy lamp test” but for disabled folks: if you can replace your disabled character with a beloved pet dog that needs an expensive surgery to survive then you have to throw out your manuscript 

[rouge-wall-enthusiast]

“The Family Dog” by Deaf artist Susan Dupor, 1991

[dabwax-deactivated20250410]

Early diagnosis of a disability or illness can and often does result in specific kinds of social, familial, and medical abuse. Early diagnosis is not always (or usually) indicative of how caring or abusive the caretakers of the child may be or what their home and school life (or lack thereof) looks like. This is not a privilege and should never be treated as such.

And

Late diagnosis isn't always indicative of a person more able-bodied than someone who was diagnosed early - lack of access to medical care due to poverty or severe abuse and neglect can and often does produce disabled adults who have found ways to mask away or cope with severe symptoms in different ways than those diagnosed early do (though early dxers may mask in ways too!) This is not a privilege and should never be treated as such.

[thecimmerissystem]

abled people need to get comfortable with disabled people not having the energy to "dress up"

the amount of backhanded comments I'd heard from my irl friends about how they really like the times where I wear things other than sweatpants and hoodies and I should really work on creating my own style is insane

there are some days where I have enough energy to wear the things I want to wear, but those are rare. they need to get used to that.

[clonerightsagenda]

I think this is just a trend everywhere but I've been very frustrated this week by how much admin work is being outsourced to me as the patient/customer.

My orthodontist tells me I can make an appointment with the surgeon. I call the surgeon. They tell me I need a new referral. I call the orthodontist. They do a referral. I call the surgeon. Referral didn't come through. They tell me about their special unique system we have to use. I call the ortho again and walk them through the referral. I call the surgeon. They say the referral was missing some details so they have to do it again. I call the ortho.

The insurance company calls me about repair shops. I give them the name of the repair shop which I already gave them yesterday. They say they're not in their system but I can use them, but I have to call the repair shop to ask them to contact the insurance company. I call the repair shop and they say the insurance company is supposed to email them.

I feel like at a certain point these constant fetch quests become unreasonable?? Is it too much to expect these groups to communicate with each other instead of making me run back and forth between them???

[clonerightsagenda]

Made this post and then the new property manager (who started on Monday and only finally emailed us today because I sent a vaguely professionally hostile email to her boss because I hadn't heard anything and was not convinced she existed) asked for a list of open action items which her predecessor should have had but apparently wasn't keeping track of, which I learned when I met her boss and provided her with the list of open action items, which I guess tragically died in a fire in the last 2 weeks since she was sitting at my kitchen table, being menaced by the skull. How many people's jobs am I doing now

[hlahlahlahlahly]

Executive Function Theft

The phrase arrived in my head so completely formed and concrete that I couldn’t believe it wasn’t already established in the lexicon, but at

[clonerightsagenda]

It has a name!!!

[leebrontide]

Back in the early 2000s there was a whole movement about listening to your body, and being the expert in your body, and then that just stopped because it turns out doctors do NOT like it when patients say they know something.

[kelpforestdwellers]

Image description: A screenshot of the symptoms of 'factitious disorder,' from the Mayo Clinic. The symptoms are listed below alongside my discussion of them.

This is the 'condition' that used to be known as Munchausen's.

I am not claiming that nobody ever fakes being sick. But it is vanishingly rare compared to the number of people who ARE sick, but doctors refuse to take it seriously.

Let's take a look at some of these. How can they tell if the medical problems are 'clever and convincing' or just... real, if it's one of the hundreds of conditions that don't show up in a clean cut way on imaging or labs ?

'Deep knowledge of medical terms and diseases' is much more commonly a symptom of being forced to do your own research because doctors refuse to help you figure out what's going on. I have deep knowledge of certain medical terms and diseases. Wish I didn't have to.

'Vague or inconsistent symptoms' - you mean like those that occur in, once again, the many conditions doctors like to ignore and dismiss because clear objective diagnostic measures don't exist yet? Like they did with multiple sclerosis before they invented the MRI?

'Conditions that get worse for no clear reason' - sometimes the reason is pretty clear! Medical neglect! And many conditions worsen for no obvious reason. Do they not understand the concepts of progressive,' 'degenerative', or 'relapsing-remitting'?

'Seeking treatment from many healthcare professionals' - it's almost like if a doctor dismisses your symptoms or refuses treatment you might need to look for another?

'Not wanting healthcare professionals to talk to family or friends' - Many chronically ill people live in abusive situations and/or with people who do not believe they are sick.

'Staying in the hospital a lot' - Because you're sick and no one will provide appropriate treatment outpatient. Because they don't believe you. So it escalates to hospital severity.

'Desire for frequent testing or risky surgeries and procedures' - It's almost like people want to find out what's wrong with them? And get treatment for it even if it has risks?

'Many surgical scars or evidence of many procedures' - Sure yeah let's just demonize people for having had medical care. Alright.

'Having few visitors when in the hospital' - Yeah, definitely if a chronically ill person experiences social isolation or abandonment they must be faking. We definitely don't live in a culture that isolates sick people.

'Arguing with healthcare professionals and staff' - And this is the one that inspired my addition to this post. G-d forbid we know anything about our bodies or advocate for ourselves.

Someone I care about very much was recently 'diagnosed' with this despite massive evidence of life threatening, untreated medical conditions. This diagnosis can kill people.

leebrontide, please pardon me if this was more than you bargained for when you made your post. I've been thinking about this a lot recently and you inspired me to talk about it.

[leebrontide]

No this is pretty much exactly what I’m talking about.

Oh, but don’t forget that several of these can also come about due to people having deep shame about their health after being repeatedly dismissed, degraded or basically called hysterical for asking for help!

[kelpforestdwellers]

Absolutely. And I'll add that they even have one for if they DO acknowledge you're sick, but don't like your attitude about it.

Image: Mayo Clinic screenshot, overview of 'somatic symptom disorder.'

"Somatic symptom disorder involves focusing too much on physical symptoms such as pain or tiredness. This focus causes major emotional distress and makes it hard to function. You may or may not have another medical condition that causes these symptoms. But how you think, feel and behave because of the symptoms can be extreme."

"You might often think the worst about your symptoms. You may seek medical care often, searching for a reason for the symptoms, even when other serious conditions have been ruled out. You also might spend so much time and energy focusing on your symptoms that it's hard to function, sometimes leading to more challenges in your life."

So... if you find your symptoms of an actual real diagnosed medical disorder 'too' distressing, seek 'too much' medical care, and want to find out why you're sick, they can just diagnose you with 'Never take this person's medical problems seriously again disorder'.

The 'even when other serious conditions have been ruled out' part is especially absurd. Which other serious conditions? Sure, if you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras - rule out the most common possibilities first. But if you're still having symptoms that don't fit your existing diagnoses? Then yeah, you might want to rule out less common causes!

And the idea that it's not the symptoms themselves that cause the problems, just that you spend too much time focusing on them... I've noticed a strange phenomenon in my personal experience where I spend a lot less time and energy focusing on my symptoms when they are treated to the point that they aren't severely debilitating. Idk, maybe that's just me.

And the symptoms list... how do they not hear themselves?

Image: List of symptoms from same Mayo Clinic page.

Symptoms of somatic symptom disorder may include:

Specific symptoms, such as pain or shortness of breath.

General symptoms, such as feeling very tired or weak

Symptoms not related to any medical cause.

Symptoms related to a medical condition but that are more severe than usually expected.

One symptom, many symptoms or symptoms that change over time.

Mild, moderate or severe symptoms.

It's literally... any symptoms? Mild, moderate, severe, general, specific, related or unrelated to a diagnosed medical condition. With the clear implication that if it's not diagnosed yet or if it's unusually severe, it's fake.

We never moved past 'hysteria' or 'hypochondria.' They just realized those terms have become unpopular and dressed it up in cleverer clinical terminology.

[paulgadzikowski]

Periodic reminder that your doctor is not your boss, your doctor is your paid consultant. All due respect to their education and experience but their job is to enable you to make informed decisions, not to make the decision for you. When they don't supply information you ask for then they're not doing their job.

[vorbisx]

Replacing physical buttons and controls with touchscreens also means removing accessibility features. Physical buttons can be textured or have Braille and can be located by touch and don't need to be pressed with a bare finger. Touchscreens usually require precise taps and hand-eye coordination for the same task.

Many point-of-sale machines now are essentially just a smartphone with a card reader attached and the interface. The control layout can change at a moment's notice and there are no physical boundaries between buttons. With a keypad-style machine, the buttons are always in the same place and can be located by touch, especially since the middle button has a raised ridge on it.

Buttons can also be located by touch without activating them, which enables a "locate then press" style of interaction which is not possible on touchscreens, where even light touches will register as presses and the buttons must be located visually rather than by touch.

When elevator or door controls are replaced by touch screens, will existing accessibility features be preserved, or will some people no longer be able to use those controls?

Who is allowed to control the physical world, and who is making that decision?

[mousegirlheart]

what hooligan named a wheelchair brand "karma"?

[cripplecharacters]

Guest Post: Upper Limb Difference - from a friend of Mod Rock's.

This is not so much writing advice as it is personal experience, but it's about living as an upper limb amputee. If you have any questions for M, I can pass them along.

My name is M. I was born without an arm, specifically below the elbow on my right arm. I'm a college student.

I find as an amputee, approaching and asking about other amputees is much more socially acceptable. It’s like a shared experience that people acknowledge and whatnot. It’s great seeing another amputee out and about!

My personal preference is that I don’t mind answering questions or giving insight on the amputee community. I know that this is not an idea shared by everyone and a lot of other amputees don’t like stares or questions.

I do just about everything with my left hand which means my left hand is at more risk of being overused. It’s a common thing amongst amputees, especially as they grow older. 

Some things I do to adapt is use my nub (term used to refer to the shortened limb - others, usually leg amputees, may call them stumps) and my knee and a pinch action when opening items or things people normally do with the thumb to hold this down. I do have an elbow so if I have any light bags I usually just hook it on my elbow and I can carry it without thinking about it too much. Heavier items may mean I can’t do this. I applaud using my left hand and right elbow.

I find adapting to things comes more naturally to me as I was born with my differences. I utilize a lot of other body parts to make up for a hand. I also sometimes use any walls or other surfaces to help.

For example, if I’m putting up my hair, I go against a wall and use the wall to help hold up my hair while my hand ties it into a ponytail. I have found that hair claw clips are really easy to use. I do ask my friends to help me or hold stuff occasionally and they are really nice about it!

Sometimes I have to get creative to adapt, like playing the guitar (I taped a guitar pick to my nub to strum).

I have similar adaptations for opening sodas or packaging, although sometimes I genuinely do struggle. Getting larger containers is usually tricky so I am used to asking others for help when I need it.

Since I was born an amputee, I found prosthetics difficult to use. I never liked wearing a prosthetic for an extended period of time because the effort outweighed the use. When I did wear one, it would often clonk against things because I’d forget it was there and my brain wasn’t used to calculating space or dodging with the added length. It would also be uncomfortable in casual settings, where I’d have to try to find a position that worked around the arm. 

No amputee wears their prosthetic all the time. They become uncomfortable and exhausting to use.

Advanced prosthetics such as bionic ones are much more costly as they are able to move around, at the price of having to be charged + the expense. A lot of more affordable ones are more stagnant; they usually only have a specific use. They can be made more versatile with removable attachments for various individual functions.

In general it is easier for me to adapt tasks using my body or my surroundings than with a prosthetic.

I think people are often shocked I can do pretty basic things like tie my shoe or cut paper. They're also surprised I can do more athletic things like cartwheels and handstands (which I can't do now but when I was younger I could). I can do elbow planks or one handed regular planks; although I can do a regular plank, I’m just really slanted. Pushups are more falling than the push up itself.

People also definitely do infantilize me sometimes. Sometimes I get ableism where they think I can do everything an abled person can, but sometimes I've had people think I can't do anything, even when I advocate for myself. It can be hard for people to realize they're being ableist.

M + Mod Rock

[autismbloggg]

Fuck you I'm rating bathrooms based on accessibility

Mall bathroom ranking (all out of five stars)

Door: ⭐️⭐️⭐️ manual sliding door, light to open/shut but the lock was difficult and stiff

Space: ⭐️⭐️⭐️ manual wheelchair would fit well but a larger powerchair would struggle

Toilet: ⭐️⭐️ hand rail on one side, quite high up, stiff flush button

Amenities: ⭐️ no seat or changing table, hand dryer that was quite high up and no paper towels, sink was easy but manual, soap dispenser was really stiff and IT WAS OUT OF SOAP >:(, no emergency alert button/string, no bin?

Overall: ⭐️⭐️ kinda ass ngl. Do better.

[wheelie-sick]

just so you know high toilets are actually an accessibility feature! they're intended to be taller than a standard toilet. it's important for sliding transfers between wheelchair and toilet as the greater the height difference between transfer surfaces the greater the risk of falling and they make standing easier for people with mobility disabilities that make standing up difficult. the ADA and accessibility guidelines in other places actually require accessible toilets to be taller than average (though it's a standard that is rarely followed)

[bunkettle]

yeah I think re toilets its an access thing both ways.

taller is much much better for my powerchair, as the lowest it can go is still taller than most toilets. that makes it an uphill transfer to get back in my chair, which is not something i can do.

ive been trialling a toilet seat raiser at my house, which has been good. i can elevate my powerchair to transfer onto the loo, then lower it so it's an easier downhill transfer getting off after.

i have heard manual chair users often preferring a lower toilet tho, as for them sometimes its an uphill transfer to get onto the loo otherwise? its been years since i used a manual tho

i think ideally bathrooms would have a taller and shorter option but so far unfortunately ive only seen that in places that have a kid-size toilet as well as the default one

[autismbloggg]

Yes this is important! I should have clarified that this can also be a very good thing!

[planstransamanacanalpanema]

Important note from a future nurse: if you are chronically ill, on a lot of medications, even managing conditions on your own, buy a drug guide. Davis's Drug Guide is what they had us buy for nursing school, and I've looked up every single medication I take in it. It helps you understand what the drug is doing to you, helps you understand side effects, reasons why you shouldn't take a medication, things to monitor for while you're taking a medication. It's not perfect by any means, but the thing I've found is that it's helped me guide conversations with providers, nurses, pharmacists, it's helped me figure out what questions to ask. When I've heard people talk about what they didnt know about their meds, what they wish they knew about their meds, it's often in a drug guide.

Out of everything I've learned in nursing school, it is the biggest thing I'd advocate for having in any home, period.

[a-little-revolution]

What are the main things you would want a prospective average sized sexual partner to know or be aware of? Do you prefer having sex with other little people?

Hello! I cannot speak to a preference as I personally have not had sex with another little person before. All of my sex has been inter-abled (with a non disabled person and myself) or with someone with a different disability. When it comes to an average sized partner, here's what I'd love them to know:

cw: sex and sexuality

Firstly, any of my perspective partners need to feel comfortable talking about disability, sex, and logistics in the bedroom. It's a red flag when people don't even feel comfortable bringing up the elephant in the room or asking me what I need. Like I've said before, my disability is very normalized to me. It's only a big deal if you make it one.

Know that my reach and flexibility is limited - which affects the positions I choose. For instance, because of my limited reach, I struggle to simultaneously kiss and finger someone when lying down - so I usually to hand stuff from a sitting position with them on their back.

Know that dwarfism comes with joint pain so I can get sore easily - pillows for my back and hips are a must! This can also make for a better angle when doing things from behind, where leg length difference can pose an issue.

Utilizing furniture is a great way around height differences. Putting me on a couch, a bed, a counter top, etc. while my partner stands can make it easier for both of us. If I'm topping with a strap, a stool next to the bed works great.

Understand that picking me up isn't always the solution. This is one that's posed a lot by amab (assigned male at birth) folk especially, without accounting for my joints or weight. Being picked up can also be triggering for a lot of little people as it's often a tool for harassment by strangers.

Know that kinks surrounding size differences are played by ear - I avoid sexual partners that outwardly express a dwarfism kink to me, that being said I have consented to certain role plays and dynamics that I feel safe within when I trust the person. Different little people will have different opinions and boundaries on kinks, and we're not all the same. I once had a sexual partner that had been with multiple LP before me, and I disagreed with almost everything their previous partners said yes to.

Overall, be respectful, accommodating, and kind. Disabled people know their bodies best and have rich, vibrant sex lives - little people are no different. Know that they may be more cautious with who they allow access to their body and be respectful of that.

[flowercrowncrip]

I saw you made a post before about how you didnt know how carers are supposed to act can you maybe give some points about it because i might need one soon and im wondering whats good and bad

Honestly I’m still figuring it out, but here are some things I think I’ve figured out so far:

- carers should not act like you are a massive inconvenience if you need help/ ask for something to be done differently

- carers are not your friend while they are at work. They can be friendly and you can be friendly back, but they aren’t your friend while at work. Again this can be tricky, and I have one carer who I’m now friends (and colleagues) with, but there are important differences. When they were still my carer there were different social rules.

-if you go to a group or event a carer should be in the background unless you’ve specified otherwise. I once went to a trans group with a cis carer who spoke (a lot) during a group discussion. This was absolutely not okay. I really struggled with this at first because it would be so rude to do this in other forms of relationships. Becoming okay with this and insistent on it has improved my life so much.

- carers don’t get a say in what you do, wear, or go unless that is part of their job (say if you need help to tell what clothes are appropriate for the weather). This is a big difference between friends and carers. If I’m going somewhere with a friend they might suggest alternatives they find more fun, a carer shouldn’t do this.

- carers should respect that they are in your home/ life. So they shouldn’t leave their stuff all over your house, even if they stay for several days at a time. They shouldn’t move things without you asking. I have a room in my house where my carers stay overnight, and a designated cupboard in the kitchen/ shelf on the fridge and I expect their things to stay in those spaces.

That’s what I can think of off the top of my head. Anyone who has a carer is free to add to this.

[theplantqueer]

when u definitely don't need a wheelchair.........

[rose-chateau]

CW: ableism, criminal child neglect in a medical context, disfiguremisia

I don't really talk a lot about having a cleft lip and pallet (because I kinda lost interest in talking about it over the EIGHTEEN YEARS it took to fix everything lol), but recently I met someone else in the wild with a cleft and she told me a story that fucking haunts me.

Her nephew was recently born, and he had a cleft lip. So, we live in a small town, and this hospital had apparently never had a child born with a cleft lip and didn't know how to feed him. The aunt tried advocating for the baby, but the doctors, I quote, "weren't comfortable figuring out how to feed him" before a doctor with cleft experience arrived from out of town.

So that newborn baby with a cleft lip did not eat for SIX FUCKING HOURS.

When I told my friend this story, he said "ableism kills" and yeah. The baby didn't die, thankfully, and he's healthy and fine now, but jesus FUCKING christ. How do you even operate as a hospital in the year of our lord 2025 if you can't feed a baby with a facial difference out of discomfort and incompetence. I know the Baby Doe Law only covers cases of malicious medical neglect (i.e. doctors withholding food and medical care either to "not waste resources" on the disabled or in the hopes the baby would die), but oh my fucking god I wish they'd gotten in trouble for this. I wish they recognized the deeply fucked up nature of their actions. I wish they called it for what it is (ableism) instead of centering their OWN comfort and feelings while a literal newborn baby was starved for no fucking reason.

[flowercrowncrip]

Wheelchair =/= small manual chair

If a space doesn't accommodate larger neuro wheelchairs, it's not wheelchair accessible.

If a wheelchair lift has a safe working load that can't handle a heavy electric chair (and person!), it's not accessible.

If doors/ shop aisles are too narrow to fit a larger electric chair, it's not accessible.

If a bus doesn't have room to manoeuvre a large wheelchair, it's not accessible.

If there is any step (even if just a couple of inches) - it doesn't matter that some manual wheelchair users might be able to navigate it - it's not accessible

Not every wheelchair user can use a small manual chair

[flowercrowncrip]

And it’s always “inclusive” queer spaces that claim to be accessible when they aren’t. It’s like they realise that not being accessible to disabled people is bad, but instead of doing the work to be accessible they just look for ways around having to admit that they aren’t. They’re just prioritising their ability to think of themselves as “radical” or “inclusive” over actually including wheelchair users.

It’s almost always queer spaces that take “ambulatory wheelchair users exist!” to mean that a venue with a step (or even multiple steps) is wheelchair accessible because the wheelchair user can just get up while someone lifts their (small, manual) wheelchair up the step.

Or, even worse (like the “inclusive” salon my friend wanted to go to) they call a space with absolutely no wheelchair access “accessible” because they have fidget toys.

And every time it’s a kick in the teeth