“Fighting Third, huh?” His whole demeanor shifts then. Doesn’t quite soften but comes close enough to it to almost smile –– it’s slight, a small hitch at the corner of his mouth, but it counts. “Ain’t that the truth. Knew a couple men myself who served Third. They always got these stories to tell, you know, real heavy shit that, uh––that sticks with you. You think about it later, pull it apart. All those pieces that just made it sound like goddamn child’s play, like they didn’t carry the war back with ‘em.” There’s a measure of respect in the way he says this, and how he looks to the clear sky as if he were searching for something. His gaze drops a moment after. Back to the ground, to the dirt and filth and years of wear on his boots.
“Yeah, that’s that Marine shit. Sixteen years, three tours as a Marine Force Recon. I was a, uh … scout sniper, and I was––hell, I was one of the best there was, you know, I loved it. When I was out in the field … I’ll tell you, man, there was nothin’ else fucking like it. Nothing could beat that feeling. But that was my problem, see, I––I put too much trust in a government with hand’s in everybody’s goddamn pockets, you know, and, uh … there were things I did, things––things I got involved in that damned every single one of us. There was no honor in what we did. … anyway, I’m, uh––I’m sorry, you know, about your grandfather. That’s dark shit. Curtis, he knew a couple of brothers who, uh … who punched their timecard ahead of schedule too.”
“Christ. Sounds about like New York, except, uh––it wasn’t just the hospitals. Yeah … I remember they, uh, they brought the Humvees into the streets, you know, they were blocking roads, thinking they could get people into quarantine. Had these––these tents set up in Manhattan and one or two other boroughs for a little while after all the hospitals were flooded. Corpsmen stationed at each, one to a tent, you know, and––those tents, man, they had at least ten or twenty people a piece. Didn’t last long. Few hours, maybe less, ‘till they started gunning everyone down. All that blood, man, it was everywhere, it was all in the streets––blood and shit and people missing their limbs, halves of whole goddamn bodies, people turning and grabbing whoever was closest. First place I went was to get Karen, told her, uh … told her to lock the door, you know, she worked in this office, so I told her to lock the door ‘n stay there ‘till I come for her. Gave her another clip for that hand cannon she carried. Went to get Curtis, ‘cause by that point, the lines were going down. Took him to Lieberman’s ‘n then I went back for her. I knew I shouldn’t have left her, man, she––by the time I got to her, everyone in that goddamn building was either dead or, uh, dead and walking. At least ten or fifteen of ‘em, ‘n they were all trying t’ get to her, you know, they were after Karen. I’ll never forget the look on her face, man, it was––it was like she … she thought I wasn’t comin’ back, even if it was just for a second. After I put ‘em down, I got her and Curtis, Lieberman ‘n his family, got ‘em the hell out of the city quick as I could.”
Your girls. He was prepared for his body to have an adverse reaction to that –– prepared for it to go cold and stiff. It didn’t.
“Loretta, man, she’s … she’s been through some shit. Never had a doubt in my goddamn mind that I’d find her alive, you know. She’s a tough kid. Karen was a, uh––she was a journalist, a front-page reporter for the Bulletin, you know, a tabloid newspaper in New York, so she got the stories first before anybody else. Talked to me about it one night when she got home from work, she was … she couldn’t let it go, man, she was sitting on the goddamn couch with her Pad Thai, you know, eating that shit right out of the container and talkin’ to me about it, and I mean she––she was goin’ on about it for hours, asking me what I thought ‘n before I could say a goddamn word, she’d launch off again. Could hardly keep up with her. Karen’s––she’s one of the smartest women I’ve ever met. Gotta be honest with you, man, I don’t … I don’t know where I’d be without her. … you said, uh, said Rick was in the hospital when the shit hit the fan. What happened?”
"those were what my gramps considered bedtime stories, man, he — he was tellin’ me shit before i was old enough t’ understand half’a what it meant. before i could, uh, could appreciate ‘em for what they were, ‘n even when i got older, y’know, i, i’d never claim t’ know where he was comin’ from. ‘cause i was never there myself, i never served, never went t’ war. sure you two would’a had a lot t’ talk about, huh.” he says it with an equal measure of respect, but holds off on the thank you for your service speech; his grandfather had never much cared for it, and he has a feeling that frank wouldn’t either.
the more he listens, the more he hears, the more he can think back on the news and acknowledge just how much was left out. he’d only caught fragments, because new york was a world away. but they’d spun it a whole lot different. stamped a nickname on the man, played him off as some crazy vet with an itchy trigger finger and no real motivation. like he’d woken up one day and started to unload on just about anyone. he’s quieter, again. “— curtis, that’s the man that you lost? i’m sorry ‘bout that, too, it’s — it ain’t easy, don’t matter how many times y’ go through it.” he doesn’t dwell on things; that doesn’t mean they have no impact.
“... quarantine. shit, i remember that.” there’s a scoff, almost. “’member hearin’ about a refugee center in atlanta, that’s where everybody was headed. s’ where i was takin’ rick’s family but we never made it past the highway. good thing we didn’t, ‘cause that same night’s the night they were droppin’ napalm in the streets. karen, she, uh — she sounds like somethin’ else, man. that would’a bothered the hell outta me, too, knowing all that, wanting answers ‘n just — just diggin’ up more questions, like the whole damn world’s losin’ their minds ‘n you’re the only one who’s got any sense left. whatever happened, man, whatever y’all had t’ fight through just t’ get here, seems like she’s in it for the long haul. it’s good, y’know, it’s good havin’ people stand behind you like that.”
another pause, a beat longer this time. then, “yeah. yeah, he, uh — he got shot, on the job. we got this call, one’a those all hands on deck things, they were pullin’ in units from king county, linden county — two armed suspects in a vehicle, that’s what they told us. had officers chasin’ ‘em all over the backroads, y’know, just this — this pair of idiots, tearin’ through the damn countryside. so we drive out ‘n we help take ‘em down, but there was a third guy. a third man, just ... came outta nowhere, ‘n that was on me, y’know, i — i should’ve seen him. rick, he’d caught a round in his vest, ‘n he was lookin’ right at me, tellin’ me, uh — tellin’ me not t’ tell his wife, ‘n that’s when this third suspect comes out. i put a buckshot in him, but he’d already fired on rick, ‘n it was — it was bad, man. tell y’ somethin’, i thought he was gonna bleed out right there on the side’a the road. paramedics came, took him into surgery, tried t’ fix him up best they could. i went in there every day, talkin’ to him, just ... hopin’ he’d come around, y’know, that he’d wake up ‘n we could go back t’ how it was. two weeks, man. that’s all it took. two weeks ‘n people were dyin’ in the halls, killin’ each other in the streets. i thought he was dead, s’ that simple. so i made that call. that’s, uh ... that’s the one thing i look back on ‘n wish i’d done different, but it just is what it is, man. y’know, you make these choices ‘n then you have t’ live with ‘em.”
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