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Claire Keane
we're not kids anymore.
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@simsbymemes
weird shit i’ve said to my friends pt. 2.
that’s the perfect phrase to level up to.
i’ve just unlocked ultimate power via cuddling.
my enthusiasm is there and fresh as a daisy, i promise you.
weed out the weak and victory will surely follow!
i am at my most serious when i stop using contractions.
i stop contractionate-ing and people run for the hills.
you, dear bystander, obviously seek death.
heavily implied chance of death here i come!
sometimes i have an existential crisis realizing that at one point in my life, i was an untainted ‘normal’ person
farewell, sanity! it was nice knowing you while you… weren’t here.
the dramatic entry is worth the pain.
MORE SHARP OBJECTS AND ONE MORE SHANK.
stop babying the baby. it’s time to adult it.
just kick my ass into a shallow grave.
I CAN’T BELIEVE I LEVELED UP TALKING ABOUT A PEC JOB.
are those feet going to go in those boots via a square dance?
as epicly gay as that death might be, it’s not the way i want to go out
that’s why his scream sounded familiar!
with the little kid and all the shadows and brain controlling, right?
i explain things weird
damn right you better level me up
okay, but. knife sex.
that sounds kind of violent… i’m down.
i was expecting a lot of things, vampires was not one of them.
Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator Sentence Starters
“Betrayed by my own butt yet again.”
“Can you explain memes to me?”
“Contrary to popular belief, penguins are… birds.”
“Did you think I was gonna stab you just now?”
“Don’t cry. Don’t cry. I swear to god if you cry again.”
“Don’t write checks your dick can’t cash.”
“Here’s to bad decisions and relaxed moral values.”
“How’s the…… jeeeeeeeeeesus?”
“I am a happy little cheese monster.”
“I am spinning a web of lies that I fear will one day consume me.”
“I don’t want your stupid fruit leather.”
“I have to get a solid two to three hours of brooding in per day. Filling quotas.”
“It’s called ‘string cheese’ and not ‘chompy cheese’ for a reason.”
“I’ll probably end up standing uncomfortably in the corner with a plate of food and hope that nobody talks to me.”
“I’m so many levels of irony deep I’ve forgotten what humour is.”
“I’m suddenly struck with the overwhelming need to crawl back into bed.”
“Mothman is bullshit.”
“My ultimate sexual fantasy is sleeping in on a Saturday.”
“OH SHIT THAT’S A KNIFE.”
“See you in class… bitch.”
“Sharks are tight.”
“So, you ever kill a man?”
“Stop being so desperate to please your hot friend.”
“That… that is a good butt.”
“The key to being cool is acting like you don’t care about anything but actually care very deeply about everything to the point where it’s debilitating.”
“This ice cream cake is my new boyfriend.”
“This is where I come to masturbate.”
“Wait, I’m a wreck.”
“WHAT HAVE YOU DONE.”
“You can never be too careful. See that baby in that stroller over there? Government operative.”
“Your face… is… good.”
“Your unending thirst will be your ultimate downfall.”
rate my writing honestly from 1-10
My Muse is dead, but they left yours a letter! Send a ✖ to see what it says.
various starters
❛ you’re a weapon and weapons don’t weep. ❜
❛ hurt me once, I’ll kill you twice. ❜
❛ never trust a survivor until you learn what they did to stay alive. ❜
❛ death is the only god that comes when you call. ❜
❛ I am teeth. I am royal. you are nothing to me. ❜
❛ the sun will rise and we will try again. ❜
❛ we’re just kids. we aren’t supposed to be heroes. ❜
❛ I like my women like I like my Absinthe: bitter and intoxicating. ❜
❛ what doesn’t kill me better run. ❜
❛ she wasn’t looking for a knight. she was looking for a sword. ❜
❛ don’t dehumanize bad people, because it’s their humanity which makes what they’ve done so terrifying. ❜
❛ she isn’t just pretty. she is otherworldly and vaguely threatening. ❜
❛ magic is not good or evil. is a knife evil? only if the wielder is. ❜
❛ I don’t want your crown. see, I’ve come to burn your kingdom down. ❜
❛ they broke my wings. they forgot I have claws. ❜
❛ all that blood was never beautiful, it was just red. ❜
❛ what do you do when there’s no hero in the story? simple. you kill the monster and crown yourself. ❜
❛ how terrible it is, to love something that death can touch. ❜
❛ you may not be interested in war, but it is interested in you. ❜
❛ I feel divinity in my bones like aching. like fire. ❜
❛ you make me feel and I don’t like it. I want it to stop. now. ❜
❛ you are losing my interest and that is very dangerous. ❜
❛ she will burn your kingdoms down, herself with it, if it means your ruin. ❜
❛ it’s okay to be scared. it means your about to do something brave. ❜
❛ she looks like divine absolution. ❜
❛ I will not be another flower, picked for my beauty and left to die. I will be wild, difficult to find and impossible to forget. ❜
❛ be careful with words. they can be forgive, but never forgotten. ❜
❛ you not wanting me was the beginning of me wanting myself. ❜
❛ I’m tired of fighting. for once, I want to be fought for. ❜
❛ never run back to what broke you. ❜
❛ I was quite, but not blind. ❜
❛ your gut knows what’s up. trust that bitch. ❜
❛ we all eat lies when our hearts are hungry. ❜
❛ do not judge my story by the chapter you walked in on. ❜
❛ I’m just a girl, standing in front of a salad, wishing it was a donut. ❜
❛ you can miss something but not want it back. ❜
❛ you can’t save people, you can only love them. ❜
❛ I came, I saw, I made it awkward. ❜
❛ we buy shite we don’t need, with money we don’t have, to impress people we don’t like. ❜
❛ you’re always one decision away from a different life. ❜
❛ my brain has too many tabs open. ❜
❛ I’m not saying I hate you, just that you’re like the Monday of people. ❜
❛ there’s no ‘we’ in fries. ❜
❛ apology accepted, trust denied. ❜
❛ death and I have been scandalously intimate for some time now. ❜
❛ life happens. coffee helps. ❜
❛ I am mine before I am ever anyone else’s. ❜
❛ I rely a bit too heavily on alcohol and irony. ❜
❛ very early in my life it was already too late. ❜
❛ is that a threat or are you flirting with me. ❜
❛ was the use of force necessary in completing your objectives? ❜
❛ I’ll let you drag me to hell if it means you’ll hold my hand. ❜
❛ I do bad things, and I do them very well. ❜
❛ you drink too much, you cuss too much and you have questionable morals. you’re everything I ever wanted. ❜
❛ they will kill you, but first they will have to catch you. ❜
❛ drugs might kill you but they’ll never break your heart. ❜
❛ good girls are just bad girls that haven’t been caught. ❜
❛ a pretty face doesn’t guarantee a pretty heart. ❜
❛ no airbag, we die like men. ❜
❛ true evil is, above all, seductive. ❜
❛ it takes more courage to suffer than to die. ❜
❛ you must be lucky to avoid the wolf every time. but the wolf? he only needs enough luck to catch you once. ❜
❛ justice is vengeance in prettier packaging. ❜
Send a ❦ for your character to meet my character's parents!
submitted by anonymous.
Send anons as my muse's mother
send me a topic to write a meta about my muse on
I might write anything from a paragraph to a whopping essay, but send me something you’ve noticed about my characterisation or just something you want to know about my muse and I will write what I can!
Send “How to care for my muse” instructions to my ask!
In a universe where everyone is born with numbers on their wrists counting down to when they’ll meet their soulmate, send me 00:00:00 for my muses reaction to their numbers hitting zero when they meet yours.
𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐊 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒 !
For the tough-hearted who wants incredible angst that could fit either a platonic and/or romantic scenarios. Feel free to change the pronouns / sentence structure according to your preferences! TRIGGER WARNING: Mentions of deaths.
i. leaving / left.
“Wait, you’re leaving…?”
“[Name] just told me. You’re gonna leave?”
“…where are you going?”
“I didn’t wanna believe [Name], but you’re really leaving, huh.”
“I don’t understand why you didn’t tell me sooner.”
“I don’t know what to say, do you want me to wish you good luck or something? ‘Cause I hate this. I hate every part of this.”
“I don’t… I don’t want to let you go.”
“Please don’t go.”
“Why can’t you stay?”
“Is it because of me? Am I not enough?”
“Did I do something wrong?”
“You have to let go of me.”
“No, no, just — just one second longer, please. Let me hug you for one more second—”
“No, don’t tell me it’s okay, it’s not okay, you’re leaving me!”
“…will you be gone long?”
“You won’t come back, will you?”
“There’s the train / plane / taxi. I — I gotta go.”
“You’re really not saying goodbye?”
“All you left me was a letter, saying you’re sorry. You’re pathetic.”
“If you love me, please don’t go.”
“I’m really trying not to put my abandonment issues on you, but I’m fucking scared, okay? I’m scared you’ll leave. And you are.”
ii. dying / died.
“Wait, wait, wait, hold on. Hold on. This can’t be real, can it? You can’t be… You can’t be dying.”
“This is some sick joke, right? You’re not really sick. This is some kind of prank? ‘Cause— cause this isn’t funny, [Name], you can’t—”
“No, no, no, I love you, please — please come back.”
“No, please, no. Don’t fall asleep. No, open your eyes, come on, look at me—”
“I wish we had more time.”
“Every day I come in here knowing that one of these days that damn bed will be empty and every time, I feel like screaming and wishing I could tell the universe to take me instead, but they won’t. It’s you. They’re taking you. So tell me how I’m supposed to live with that?”
“You die, I die.”
“I don’t think I can go home knowing I won’t see you around anymore.”
“You’ll be fine. You’ll be okay. You’re just a little cold. Right?”
“I’m sorry I didn’t do much before. I would’ve taken you everywhere. I would’ve loved you right.”
“I wish you could’ve just broken my heart in the normal way. At least you’d be alive.”
“I’m telling the nurse I’m staying by your side tonight. I don’t care if it’s not allowed, I’ll fight them.”
“We’re running out of time.”
“Anything’s better than this. Than you, gone. What am I supposed to do without you, huh?”
“Listen to me, you are the most important person in my life. I’m sorry you’re going through this.”
“I don’t want you to see me like this…”
“If you must die, die knowing your life was my life’s best part.”
“Maybe in another life.”
“The doctors said I don’t have much time left. I - I’m sorry.”
“I just saw you. You were — you were laughing. You can’t be gone.”
iii. separating / separated.
“So, this is it, huh?”
“…for all it’s worth, I loved you. So much.”
“I’m sorry for what I did.”
“You deserve better. You always have.”
“Tell me this isn’t you breaking up with me.”
“I still remember the first time I saw you…”
“Please don’t cry, please, I—”
“C’mon baby, don’t — don’t make this harder than it is.”
“Don’t cry with me, stupid. I thought this was mutual.”
“I can’t believe you’re breaking my heart like this.”
“We had a good run, didn’t we? We really loved each other, right?”
“IT’S OVER, DO YOU HEAR ME?! WE’RE DONE!”
“If you show your face around me the second time, I will kill you.”
“Who would’ve thought we’d ended up here. Hating each other.”
“We were… we were so in love.”
“It’s not even about the other person, it’s us okay? It’s us. We’re a problem.”
“I don’t wanna hurt you. Not more than this. I’m sorry.”
iv. miscommunication.
“You fucking ignored me. You didn’t even tell me why!”
“So now that you’re in deep shit, you suddenly remember me again? How convenient!”
“Fuck you! FUCK YOU! I NEEDED YOU! AND YOU WEREN’T THERE!”
“I don’t know why we stopped talking. I wish you would just tell me.”
“You won’t even look me in the eyes anymore.”
“Did I really hurt you that bad? I didn’t know.”
“You never said anything! Every time you’re angry or sad, you just kept it in!”
“I never knew what you were thinking.”
“I’m so tired of reaching out only to realise I’m grasping on thin air.”
“Why can’t we just talk like we used to?”
“Things were so easy back then.”
“You’re not the same person I knew.”
“…I still care about you, you know.”
“You just left. I didn’t why. I didn’t know what happened.”
“I wish things were different.”
“You’re giving me the cold shoulder again. How typical.”
“You know what you did wrong? You didn’t believe me.”
“I just wanted you to be there. I just wanted to know that I wasn’t alone. And you failed.”
“Look, can we… can we not talk about this now? Please?”
“I’ve been trying to talk to you, but it’s like I’M TALKING TO A BRICK WALL!”
v. betrayal / betrayed.
“I trusted you.”
“You trust me? Honey, that’s your fault.”
“You’re looking at me like I’m your biggest mistake. I already know I am.”
“You fucking manipulated me. You made me believe you.”
“So all those times we spent together? That was, what, for show?”
“I thought… I thought we were friends.”
“I thought we had something special.”
“You were like a brother to me!”
“I never really had anybody before. But then you came. I shouldn’t have known even you would screw me over.”
“SCREW YOU! DON’T EVER SHOW YOUR FACE TO ME AGAIN!”
“You’re not even moving. You’re THAT shocked that I did this to you? You must’ve really trusted me.”
“I — I didn’t want to. But I had to.”
“It wasn’t easy, you know? I… I really liked you.”
“Oh, stop playing victim. You had this coming.”
“You’ve always treated me like shit! And now you’re surprised I would do this to you?!”
“It wasn’t all fake, what we had. You were just not my endgame.”
“I can’t believe I shared my food with you. Turned out, you’re just a scheming scumbag, like the rest of them!”
“It’s my fault. I put my faith in you. They warned me not to.”
“Believe you? Yeah. The last time I did went SO well.”
“I’d rather walk into an ongoing traffic than to trust you again.”
“I let you into my life and you did this…? I should’ve known.”
“Please tell me this isn’t true. You wouldn’t do this to me, would you? Would you?”
vi. misc scenarios.
[Text] I hate you.
[Text] I keep calling you hoping you’d pick up. Or text you, hoping you’d reply. But I know you won’t.
[Text] I’ve still got your stuff. What should I do about it?
[Text] I wish I could say I hate you, but we both know I’m lying.
[Text] I don’t wanna fight, I wanna see you.
[Text] I know we’re not talking, but I miss you.
[Text] Dumbass. I’ve always loved you. Leaving you was the hardest thing I ever did.
[Text] I wish it didn’t end the way it did.
[Text] I’ll always have your back. Even after everything, okay? Always.
“I will beat the devil in an appropriate place and not ruin my floors.”
“I got drunk and now I’m sitting on the ground.”
“Get an ouija board or something and bring me back!”
“Hi, welcome to me time.”
“Do you have anymore almond milk?”
“Just do it!”
“Hell yeah!”
“[Name], stop!”
“Cover it in mustard, and call it a day.”
“The power of Christ compels you.”
“What?”
“[Name], no one is judging you.”
“We know you have a soap fetish, it’s okay, just let it out.”
“Who said you could come in?”
“What’s wrong with eating paint?”
“I will lock myself in the bathroom and fucking cry.”
“I don’t know what the fuck is happening.”
“I painted my face green, I’m ready to party.”
“Cannolis, bitch!”
“I look like a half eaten apple on a road trip.”
“Look how much your mom loves you!”
“Can’t you see what the fuck I’m wearing, bitch?”
“I’m having me time, get out.”
“The devil is everywhere.”
“I think what I’m trying to say is that I just wanna fucking disappear.”
“Some people think that I’m crazy, I’m just out here trying to have a good time, what’s your problem?”
“Don’t do drugs, not even once.”
“I have a basketball game tomorrow.”
“We’re good? Tight.”
“Don’t ever talk to me or my son ever again.”
“The darkness will swallow you whole.”
“This is a safe place.”
“I love you so much, but you test me every day.”
“You’re a nasty bitch!”
“I didn’t come here to fuck around.”
“I want to be seen from the heavens!”
“I love fucking myself up.”
“Don’t expose me like this.”
“Who you fightin’?”
“Please come back, please come back, please come back.”
“My face is burned.”
“Hi, welcome to I feel guilty.”
“I am on a never ending quest to be the most beautiful person in the world.”
“Look at me! And my exquisite face!”
“You have to go to your baseball game right now, son!”
“I think it looks natural.”
“Go away.”
“I’ll never let go.”
“Do I look like someone who wants to hurt your feelings?”
“What are your standards?”
“Can’t you see that I’m fucking leisuring?”
Send my muse anons pretending to be someone they care about. The twist: make these anons as heartbreaking, disappointing, or anger-inducing as possible.
Pretend to give them bad news, pretend to break up with them, pretend to make an upsetting confession - as long as it hurts, it’s fair game.
weird shit i’ve said to my friends pt. 2.
that’s the perfect phrase to level up to.
i’ve just unlocked ultimate power via cuddling.
my enthusiasm is there and fresh as a daisy, i promise you.
weed out the weak and victory will surely follow!
i am at my most serious when i stop using contractions.
i stop contractionate-ing and people run for the hills.
you, dear bystander, obviously seek death.
heavily implied chance of death here i come!
sometimes i have an existential crisis realizing that at one point in my life, i was an untainted ‘normal’ person
farewell, sanity! it was nice knowing you while you… weren’t here.
the dramatic entry is worth the pain.
MORE SHARP OBJECTS AND ONE MORE SHANK.
stop babying the baby. it’s time to adult it.
just kick my ass into a shallow grave.
I CAN’T BELIEVE I LEVELED UP TALKING ABOUT A PEC JOB.
are those feet going to go in those boots via a square dance?
as epicly gay as that death might be, it’s not the way i want to go out
that’s why his scream sounded familiar!
with the little kid and all the shadows and brain controlling, right?
i explain things weird
damn right you better level me up
okay, but. knife sex.
that sounds kind of violent... i’m down.
i was expecting a lot of things, vampires was not one of them.
send me ‘stop!’ to witness my muse killing someone with their bare hands.
Shipping Call - Send me one if you want to plot one or more of these
💚 - friendship 💙 - kinship ( blood or symbolic familial bond ) 💔 - past relationship 💜 - hateship ( they hate each other but can’t stay away ) 💛 - hateship ( enemies ) 💟 - friends with benefits ❤ - romantic relationship