~*~ @honeyedintimacy - Tumblr Blog

Listen up!

If you are reading this, share something that made you feel proud of yourself this year. Let’s make a thread filled with self love

Personally I am so proud of finding myself. I am wearing things I love, doing my makeup the way I love, I fought so hard and managed to get through a dark time. I feel like the true me.

lovenotesuggestions

I can’t wait to fill our home with fairy lights and scented candles and tasty snacks and pets and soft blankets and love.

melonpanda

Outgoing!✨

iamfinallybreakingfree

Questions I had to ask myself about my abusers

Humiliation, degradation, discounting, negating. judging, criticizing:

Do they make fun of you or put you down in front of others?

Do they tease you, use sarcasm as a way to put you down or degrade you?

When you complain do they say that “it was just a joke” and that you are too sensitive?

Do they tell you that your opinion or feelings are “wrong?”

Does anyone regularly ridicule, dismiss, disregard your opinions, thoughts, suggestions, and feelings?

Domination, control and shame:

Do you feel that the person treats you like a child?

Do they constantly correct or chastise you because your behavior is “inappropriate?”

Do you feel you must “get permission” before going somewhere or before making even small decisions?

Do they control your spending?

Do they treat you as though you are inferior to them?

Do they make you feel as though they are always right?

Do they remind you of your shortcomings?

Do they belittle your accomplishments, your aspirations, your plans or even who you are?

Do they give disapproving, dismissive, contemptuous, or condescending looks, comments, and behavior?

Accusing and blaming, trivial and unreasonable demands or expectations, denies own shortcomings:

Do they accuse you of something contrived in their own minds when you know it isn’t true?

Are they unable to laugh at themselves?

Are they extremely sensitive when it comes to others making fun of them or making any kind of comment that seems to show a lack of respect?

Do they have trouble apologizing?

Do they make excuses for their behavior or tend to blame others or circumstances for their mistakes?

Do they call you names or label you?

Do they blame you for their problems or unhappiness?

Do they continually have “boundary violations” and disrespect your valid requests?

Emotional distancing and the “silent treatment,” isolation, emotional abandonment or neglect:

Do they use pouting, withdrawal or withholding attention or affection?

Do they not want to meet the basic needs or use neglect or abandonment as punishment?

Do they play the victim to deflect blame onto you instead of taking responsibility for their actions and attitudes?

Do they not notice or care how you feel?

Do they not show empathy or ask questions to gather information?

Codependence and enmeshment:

Does anyone treat you not as a separate person but instead as an extension of themselves?

Do they not protect your personal boundaries and share information that you have not approved?

Do they disrespect your requests and do what they think is best for you?

Do they require continual contact and haven’t developed a healthy support network among their own peers?

iamfinallybreakingfree

You’re not over exaggerating. You’re not too sensitive. If it hurts you it hurts you. If it makes you angry, then it makes you angry. There’s nothing wrong with you for feeling.

iamfinallybreakingfree

You ruin every happy moment of my life.

tylerjosephotos

lalahdelia

“Your Grandmother’s prayers are still protecting you.”

— Lalah Delia

wise-browneyes-deactivated20190

I will reblog this

Every time I see it

jayharvest

Big facts

oreobee

me and my friend had so much fun during our trip to the capital city of Poland 🌸🚆

just-shower-thoughts

Calling an exterminator is like hiring a hitman for bugs.

tylerjosephotos

This year is winding down. It gives me terrible flashbacks to last year around this time. Screaming and fighting constantly. That’s all that happened in this house. This year has been absolutely shit. I’m still depressed, I want to be happy. People around me are. Well, kind of. Why can’t I be?? I’ve tried to tell my mom but I guess from what she says it’s just horomones, and that there’s just some stuff I have to make myself do. Maybe I’m lazy. I wish I had a relationship with my dad. I wish he would make an effort to get better. It really does hurt seeing all of this stuff that you were supposed to do with your father when you were a kid. I didn’t. It started in 5th-6th grade and got increasingly worse from there. I don’t think I’ll ever forget the times where he would force me to stay awake until I understood what he was trying to teach me. I have a learning disability in math, so it was harder for me to grasp a concept than others. He didn’t understand that. Screaming and yelling at me until I cried. Hitting the table because he was so frustrated. I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve cried myself to sleep because of him. He has told me he didn’t love me. And then proceeded to deny it. Eventually when I started crying, I went to my room and then he apologized. But there’s only so much a “I’m sorry” can do. He’s still manipulative and emotionally abusive. I guess I deserve this haha. I guess my feelings don’t matter. I want to be happy so bad. I miss it. I haven’t been happy on my own in years. The last time I was genuinely happy was last year. Only for a few months, and it was because of a relationship. I’m also sad because I feel like I’m not a priority in anyone’s life. Which is fine, I don’t need to be, but it would be nice. I don’t know. I wish I could get out of this house. It’s toxic and I can barley breathe most of the time. I want my experiences to feel real and I don’t want to stress and overthink about small shit that doesn’t even matter. But I do and it fucking sucks. I can’t wait until I get better :)

iamfinallybreakingfree

My home will be a home with no loud anger, no explosive rage, no slamming doors or breaking glass, no name calling, shaming or blackmail. My home will be gentle, it will be warm. It will keep my loved ones safe. No fear, no hurt and no worries. I may come from a broken and twisted place but I will build something whole and safe. I’ll sing in the shower again, cook with a smile and dance in all the rooms. I will heal.

picassomarley

This

the-lady-revontulet-deactivated

Given how my current household has been for the past year, this is all I want to do in my living space. Home is supposed to be your escape from the real world, not your biggest stress.

honeyedintimacy

I can’t wait :)