*p r o memoria

[honortodth]

#HONORTODTH ; feanor gravenhallow, grave cleric of kelemvor. original character based on baldur's gate iii / dungeons & dragons. private and selective. low and sporadic activity. written by lexy (she/her). 21+.

VISAGE ✧ HEADCANON ✧ MUSINGS ✧ AES ✧ VERSES ✧ PINTEREST

promo / graphics credit to @solarsources

[honortodth]

medical stuff tw

so..i had an ovarian cyst i was unaware of rupture yesterday :< that shit hurted. spent a few hours at the hospital, i guess it wasn’t bad since i feel okay now other than just sore, like period cramps. they didn’t see anything abnormal on the ultrasound. but im kinda still freaking out cause our local hospital is not reliable, they miss shit all the time, so im making an appointment with my doctor tomorrow.

if anyone has experience with this lmk if im worrying over nothing pls. they told me just to come back if the pain gets as bad as when it first ruptured again. and i feel totally fine right now except, again, it’s just sore. im terrified of getting an infection or something that they missed cause they didn’t wanna look any further into it.

all of this just days after my bf’s mom broke her ankle. it has not been a good week over here 🙃

i apologize for the low activity! ill get back to everyone soon ❤️ on here and on discord

[honortodth]

ive been a little quiet between work and fallout new vegas :x will be on a little tonight since im off early then probably not again until friday/saturday since ill be recovering from a concert ❤️

[honortodth]

watched all of the fallout show last night with my bf and 🫠🫠 it was so good ill be playing new vegas all day

[honortodth]

for no reason at all ... i wanna share my other characters that i wish i had time to write and make blogs for :') 1. Corvus, tiefling rogue who's madly in love with gale 2. Vhaelen, half-drow blood domain cleric of myrkul who i actually have a blog for @craftblood i'll return to him soon 3. Lucien, half-drow warlock, my dark urge who just wants to read books in an old tower but is unhinged 4. Cinder, tiefling eldritch knight (maybe warlock as well for Flavor) who is new but i lub him

[selunyte-a]

✧ . * ━━ @honortodth asked : “You’re making a big deal out of nothing, it’s just a scratch.” ( hurt/comfort prompts )

her jaw sets, an otherwise delicate touch tightening around his wrist in unwavering resolve when feanor attempts to pull away. in her experience, fellow clerics seemed to be the most stubborn when it came to accepting assistance - something she was not yet ready to admit aloud.

the injury was manageable; far more than a scratch, but often those came with hidden dangers that rose to the surface when one least expected it. in the ten minutes it took for a detect poison and disease spell to manifest, they'd gone back and forth on whether such a thing was necessary.

"i think you know as well as i that one cannot be too careful. not to mention, i feel far more adept in this over battle." when the spell showed nothing beyond the injury itself, eira releases a small sigh of relief and smiles, casting cure wounds and releasing her hold. "there - that wasn't so bad; nor was letting someone else help you, was it?"

[honortodth]

It's true what they say about clerics --- they are, in most cases, the worst patients one can come across. If allowing another person to aid you, heal your wounds, or show care for you were a divine edict itself ... even the most devout may hesitate. For certain, Feanor is no exception to this. ' Selfless to a fault ' has been said numerous times to describe the half-elf amongst the few that know him.

But the pain is not negligible, and as Eira tightens her grip on him, he concedes defeat with a disgruntled sigh. He doubted that it would do well for him to argue with her. ❝ I know, I know ... ❞ and as the warmth of her divine magic pools in his wrist, spreads like a whisper of light to the tips of his fingers and elbow, he is glad for it. Instinctively, he checks things by rotating his wrist and clenching and unclenching his fist, though the act is unnecessary.

Ice-blue eyes find hers and there's a sort of playful glint to them, ❝ No, though I try not to make a habit of it. ❞ A pause, ❝ But thank you. ❞ And he's sure he's already asked this question, asked it immediately after the fighting had ended, but he persists, ❝ You're sure you weren't hurt? Nothing you've overlooked? ❞

[honortodth]

―  𝑫𝑹𝑬𝑨𝑴𝑺 𝑨𝑵𝑫 𝑵𝑰𝑮𝑯𝑻𝑴𝑨𝑹𝑬𝑺 𝑺𝑬𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑵𝑪𝑬 𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑹𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑺.

❛ have you ever had a recurring dream? ❜ @murderpawn

The question, whatever its intentions, catches Feanor off guard - his trepidation laid bare in the firelight. Yes, he knows of recurring dreams. Dreams that came to visit in the latest, darkest hours of the night as an old friend would ; although lacking all the warmth of a drink or a meal shared between two companions. A dream that seeped into the recesses of his very being and wrenched whatever it could of a restful sleep from him. Images begin to swirl in his mind's eye, the edges of which dance as if black ink in water. Faces of those long gone. Echoes of the past.

There's a curiosity in her voice, as if seeking a kindred spirit, a shared malady. Almost as if to say ❛ please, show me that I'm not alone in this❜. He briefly wonders if that is simply his own want, however, projected onto her.

Feanor nods slowly, mulling over his words, ❝ There are times I wish I could say I have not ... why do you ask? ❞

[honortodth]

✧ ☾ * ━━ 𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐆𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐓 𝐇𝐀𝐔𝐍𝐓𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔?

the ghost of rotting truth

you are an actor. you are a performer. you bow to an audience of none but yourself and the gods that know you are a liar. this pain and this longing once drowned you, but time has passed. you were congratulated for your healing. but grief’s icy hands remain inside of your chest, cupping your heart. grief is hooking its fingers under the ridges of your ribcage. with time, it will tear you open. you are meant to bleed slowly. the agony will softly devour you from the back of your memory, and you will smile through it all like it doesn’t hurt, taking your bow when the performance is over. but when the curtains close, do you crumble to your knees? who reaches for you? when the healer falls, who checks to make sure they are alright? silas melvin wrote, “you’re so polite with your sadness. you don’t want to ruin this for anyone.”

tagging: @saintsdawn @wyrdhearth @murderpawn @mieluselul

[saintsdawn-archive]

“ we could take them by surprise. . . ” they’ve left the haunting, crumbling village behind. florence wishes that the road ahead was brighter, but why set herself up for disappointment?

“ of course, ” she continues, thoughts spilling out, “ i doubt taking on an entire encampment will be as simple as fighting a wayward splinter of the group. it'd be easier if i could just. . . ” she motions with her hands – a mock explosion, something that would involve too much noise and too much fire.

“ is now a good time to mention that i’m not good at lying ? ”

the cleric has something to say to @honortodth.

[honortodth]

Feanor's brows raise, a mild expression of amusement at her candidness as well as the picture Florence has painted with her hands. A rather extreme solution to their problems, tempting, but otherwise out of reach and impractical.

❝ Ah - ❞ and here a short laugh is exhaled, ❝ As good a time as any, I'm sure. ❞

A pause, then, ❝ A distraction may work to our advantage, however. Divert a few of them at least, no? ❞

[honortodth]

𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐌𝐄

alias  /  name :  lexy.

birthday : august 1st.

zodiac  sign : leo.

height :  5'3

hobbies : reading, writing, gaming.

favourite  colour : black i love this shade of blue and these types of green. also this like purpley-red.

current  book : nothing rn tbh (: i have lapvona that i need to start reading but otherwise i've just been reading manga.

last  song :  kool-aid by bring me the horizon.

last   film  /  show : last film may have been lotr: fellowship of the ring / last show was call the midwife.....again

inspiration :  music is probably my biggest source of inspiration. songs that make you live and breathe a character. forms your own brain into their thoughts and feelings. artwork as well. idk if there's a certain character that gives me inspiration for feanor (there probably is that i just cant think of rn) but my inspo for him more so comes out of my own fears of death and processing that. like i love dark themes-eerie, creepy vibes, small amount of body horror, your sanity being consumed, death and decay, making your favorite character suffer the most, etc. ghost also inspires me a lot from the religious side of his character..surprisingly or not.

behind  url : part of kelemvor's charge, "Do honor to the dead".

fun  fact  about  me :  i have a twitch account with a persona that i made intending to stream..still have not but it's the only "job" that sounds remotely appealing to me so. maybe someday i'll use it!

[blessyouhawkeye]

he's got a sadness about him you only see in catholic stained glass windows

[poohsources]

🐝  *  ―  𝑫𝑹𝑬𝑨𝑴𝑺 𝑨𝑵𝑫 𝑵𝑰𝑮𝑯𝑻𝑴𝑨𝑹𝑬𝑺 𝑺𝑬𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑵𝑪𝑬 𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑹𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑺.

❛  last night, i had the craziest dream ...  ❜ ❛  have you ever had a recurring dream?  ❜ ❛  sometimes, my dreams feel more real than reality itself.  ❜ ❛  i wish i could still remember what i dreamt about last night.  ❜ ❛  only thing i remember is that it was a nice dream.  ❜ ❛  do you believe dreams have any deeper meaning?  ❜ ❛  i often wonder what it would be like to live inside my dreams.  ❜ ❛  do you wanna hear about my dream?  ❜ ❛  have you ever experienced lucid dreams where you could control the outcome?  ❜ ❛  i'm telling you, this is all playing out exactly like my dream.  ❜ ❛  what's the strangest dream you ever had?  ❜ ❛  you were part of my dream last night.  ❜ ❛  i think i had this dream before.  ❜ ❛  maybe if i close my eyes i can convince myself that this is only just a dream.  ❜ ❛  looks like you're lost in daydreams again.  ❜ ❛  i'm not sure what this dream was trying to tell me ...  ❜ ❛  can you tell me about your dream?  ❜ ❛  sometimes, i wish i could control my dreams just so i could make them all happy ones.  ❜ ❛  do you ever have dreams that feel so real they're almost like nightmares?  ❜ ❛  calm down. you're okay, you're safe. it was just a dream.  ❜ ❛  i want to help you, but you'll have to tell me what these dreams are about.  ❜ ❛  it felt so real ...  ❜ ❛  i thought you'd said those dreams had stopped.  ❜ ❛  do you have an idea what may cause these nightmares?  ❜ ❛  did you have another nightmare?  ❜ ❛  i just want them to stop ...  ❜ ❛  i wish i could dream of something beautiful or peaceful for a change.  ❜ ❛  can you just hold me tonight? i always sleep better with you here ...  ❜ ❛  do you want to tell me about it?  ❜ ❛  you don't have to stay here tonight. i'm gonna wake up in a few hours because of my nightmares anyway.  ❜ ❛  there has to be a reason for this recurring nightmare ...  ❜ ❛  you just go to sleep. i'll watch over you tonight.  ❜ ❛  this has to be my worst nightmare yet.  ❜

[maybe-itsforthebest]

- j (x)

[honortodth]

ok. i really need to dip my toes back in to writing :x i think at this point any memes/drafts i did have just need to be cleared (might hold onto a few tho). so if you sent me something i didnt get to im so sorry but it's a good chance to start fresh! i'll also look at reblogging some sentence starters if that's more your fancy. then i'll work my way up to plotting. like this for a short and sweet starter maybe??? you can specify overall vibes as well ❤️

[honortodth]

LET'S GOOOO, WE'RE BACK :')

[aliters]

[honortodth]

@wyrdhearth

[miraydanerarchived]

Taro Emir Tekin & Beril Pozam Yalı Çapkını | 49. Bölüm

[wyrdhearth]

@honortodth