Adolescent Development @hoopla27 - Tumblr Blog

Tumblr Reflection

I am not sorry that this part of the Adolescent paper Development is over... Not that I hated it, I just didn't exactly love it! I struggled at first with technology, mostly my own attitude to it so getting over that hurdle and starting to embrace ( albeit lightly! ) Web 2.0 tools was quite a triumph for me.

Once I got into the swing of it I found Tumblr posting a very good check on keeping me up on readings and topics. My main challenge was making it meaningful for ME! There were so many cute pictures and analogies which I found didn't really add to my learning. I am somewhat obsessive about my study - I give up a great deal of time, energy and financial resources to it and feel I need to get the best value I can. I felt I didn't want to waste my time (and others) by just trawling through Youtube etc to get enough credible to post weekly but I ended up doing just that and felt frustrated at times that my learning wasn't as academic as it should be. Even that was a learning process too. Putting Tumblr into context of the topic - adolescent development - and the environment that adolescents operate within - technology - it was a very appropriate learning medium. My teenage and very tech savvy son has just passed by and looked over my shoulder. In disgust, he said "Mum! No one posts stuff as long as that.." so I guess that's another learning. Make it short, snappy and get to the point.

My point is, it's been a good learning experience for me in terms of flexibility of thinking and availing myself to new opportunities in technology. I found it very time consuming but fair in terms of it being 40% of the assessment. My objective was to make it meaningful for me and I feel as if I have achieved that. Might not be the most beautiful blog in the world but it's mine and it made a positive difference to my adolescent development experience and learning.

Au revoir Tumblr!

Really interesting article from academic perspective on cliques.

Looks at links in drug use within peer groups and cliques and comes up with some interesting data which doesn't really support thinking that peers influence use of drugs. I was interested in their methodology and mapping of clique relationships using liaisons, members and isolates. Made it seem much more realistic.

This is part of the conclusion...

... What we found that contrasts with many other studies is that for most adolescents, the norms expressed within those friendships act against the use of drugs. We also found that peer influence is a smaller part of the explanation for adolescents' drug use than commonly believed. The overall message for prevention efforts may be that friendships are better seen as an asset than a threat to adolescent drug use. Our results suggest that it may be more beneficial to target factors associated with social isolation and teach adolescents skills for making friends with non-drug users than to focus prevention efforts on teaching adolescents how to resist peer pressures to use drugs.

Some light musical relief!

In the course of research into peer relationships and the like I came across this song from the musical "Wicked" entitled "Popular". Lyrics below and the clip is from the musical itself. Links in quite beautifully to cliques and trying to fit into the right clique. Made me smile...

Popular

You're gonna be popular! I'll teach you the proper poise when you talk to boys Little ways to flirt and flounce ooh I'll show you what shoes to wear How to fix your hair Everything that really counts

To be popular I'll help you be popular! You'll hang with the right cohorts You'll be good at sports Know the slang you've got to know So let's start 'Cause you've got an awfully long way to go:

Don't be offended by my frank analysis Think of it as personality dialysis Now that I've chosen to become a pal, a Sister and adviser There's nobody wiser Not when it comes to popular - I know about popular And with an assist from me To be who you'll be Instead of dreary who-you-were—well are! There's nothing that can stop you From becoming popular - lar

La la, la la We're gonna make You popular

When I see depressing creatures With unprepossessing features I remind them on their own behalf To think of Celebrated heads of state or Specially great communicators Did they have brains or knowledge? Don't make me laugh! Ha, ha!

They were popular! Please - It's all about popular! It's not about aptitude It's the way you're viewed So it's very shrewd to be Very very popular Like me! (Ahh!)

Read more: Wicked - Popular Lyrics | MetroLyrics

Navigating social cliques can be one of the toughest parts of middle and high school.

This is a quirky clip which asks the questions of, why do cliques exist, are they good or bad and do clique labels stick for ever???? I really enjoyed it especially the bit about labels not lasting forever.

Peers, Romantic Relationships and Lifestyles...

Last week of Tumblr postings....

Peers, Romantic Relationships and Lifestyles really sum up adolescence in my experience. It was peer relationships that brought me forcefully out of childhood and into adolescence. This is the first chapter that I have really connected with from an adolescent recollection. Others like morality and sexuality didn't really click as I personally worked through these issues as a young adult see them through different eyes. When I think of peer relationships and cliques and how in 5th Year at high school my whole life changed when I suddenly found myself outside the clique. I discovered loneliness and isolation but I also discovered resilience. On reflection, I probably left school a year earlier than my peers because I wanted to get away from the situation. I went to college, was living away from home at 17 and adulthood had to emerge sooner than probably I was ready for. I haven't really ever thought of the impact of my own adolescent peer relationships on my life before now but certainly have a lot to reflect on now. It wasn't the interpersonal relationships themselves that changed my life, it was the absence of them that caused me to stand on my own two feet. I went on to make choices in relationships and what I was going to do with my life on my own terms without peer pressure.

This post has given me an opportunity to think about something significant in my adolescent in a way I have never thought of before. Wish I could have had this sort of epiphany earlier in the paper than waiting 'til week 10!!

life2getha-blog

Teenagers - When To Worry

This short video puts into perspective when a parent should be genuinely be concerned about the actions of their teenager

kerragous-deactivated20240107

He has a good point…. Parents need to manage their own worries in order to support that of their teenagers. How can we console, help and support our teenagers if we are unable to console ourselves?

hoopla27

I actually remember very clearly my mum telling me I worry to show I love you. She actually thought it was a positive thing. Years later, her high blood pressure and chronic stress probably don't testify to that. My reaction then was just don't tell her anything that would make her worry. However, some people are more wired for worry than others. This short video was particularly poignant for me as it brought back these memories but it does put worry into perspective. It's not helpful, it's not positive and it doesn't engender trust. I prefer the word concern over worry and funnily enough in a couple of years I'll be at the same age and stage as my mum and I were at the time she was operating under this mode. I hope I can remember this video when the words "I was so worried..." fall from my mouth....

I thought this was quite significant - especially in the light of last week's topic of Family. It was evident that family made a positive contribution to adolescent development. The fact that the Vatican are looking so closely at aspects of family in an "extraordinary synod" is heartening. Will be interesting to see what the outcomes will be...

Rainbow Families QLD provides family and parenting resources for queer, lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex families in Queensland.

Rainbow families was a new term for me. I encountered it on another paper dealing with attachment. Santrock (2014) devotes one paragraph to this growing phenomenon but doesn't term it this way. Seems to be a more NZ/ Australian descriptor. His thoughts mirror the findings I read in other readings that children grow up to be themselves with no pre-disposition sexually. Changes in legislation about same-sex marriage along with societal acceptance may result in more Rainbow families. My own experience with Rainbow families has been positive and interesting. Unique, diverse, loving, accepting... This website offers a wealth of support from every aspect of getting pregnant to talking to children. Offers an insight to another family challenge.

adolescentdevelopment-blog

Should parents stay together for the sake of the children and adolescents?

No.

2roseslisa

Definitely not! Walking on egg shells, watching parents fight & argue is not something I want for my children and adolescent. Yes it can be unsettlig in other areas of their lives but…

briarlinklater-deactivated20141

I absolutely agree with this. However, I believe the major difficulty is knowing when to call it quits. I have a nagging suspicion that in many circumstances the final curtain may called on a relationship prematurely. How much of the “worse” do you weather while waiting for the “good”? Anecdotally, there are many in older generations who ‘had’ to stick together, managed to work through things, and were incredibly happy… just as there were many trapped in impossible situations for whom there was no escape (and I would wish that on no-one). I personally know a couple who were divorced after years and three children together, went their separate ways for a number of years, and were just recently remarried and could not be happier! If only we had a crystal ball to know what the future holds, whichever road we choose, and thank goodness we live in a time and culture where we can choose.

exploringadolescentdevelopment

No I don’t think they should stay together JUST for the sake of their children however I do think it is a reason to perhaps try harder and attempt to get back on track if possible. I also know from personal experience that even if your parents relationship is rocky and unstable at times as a child/adolescent, and you may think at the time ‘oh I wish they would just split up’, as an adult and especially when you have children of your own you really appreciate the fact that they stuck it out!

hoopla27

I really want to say yes, stay together for the sake of the children because I think that is what I would want to do but I can't say that. It would be living a lie and although loving your children matters, being honest with them in word and deed is a fundamental part of loving them and being a role model for their future. If nothing else it should be a motivator to try harder or try different ways to deal with the situation but after best efforts honesty on all fronts needs to prevail.

exploringadolescentdevelopment

As marriage has become a more optional, less permanent institution in contemporary America, children and adolescents are encountering stresses and adaptive challenges associated with their parents’ marital transitions

I was drawn to this quote in Santrock (2014) because this is something I believe is happening, it seems to me that marriage is not so ‘forever’ as it once was. While I definitely do not think people should stay in abusive or unhappy marriages I also do not think they should take marriage lightly. I know a friend who on his wedding day, when asked by his best man if he was sure he wanted to do this said “oh well I can always divorce her”. I was shocked by this, what a thoughtless way to enter a marriage, especially if children are going to be involved. Has societies view towards marriage changed? Are these changing views affecting the way adolescents view monogamy and marriage? I believe they have but would love to hear what others think. (via exploringadolescentdevelopment)

I agree wholeheartedly with the thought that marriage is considered more optional and less permanent and this attitude and belief is probably undermining what used to be referred to often as the institution of marriage. An institution was strong and remained firm against all weathers. It was rock like rather than flimsy and words like endure were meant to describe it. It's the lack of permanence and perceived easy out of divorce. When I got married I was told by the minister, whatever it's costing you to get married it will cost four times more to get divorced. Not sure where his stats came from but I've always remembered that. I believe your comment from the young groom is indicative of society's view on marriage. Maybe because young people can accept it more and say " my parents got divorced and I came out of it OK" justifies their thinking. Yes, I always want to say in this situation but usually don't ... but what if you were meant to be more than ok????? .

exploringadolescentdevelopment

I love Ted Talks and use often use them as a credible source of enlightenment and also, enjoyment. This one is about the Sibling Bond which relates to this weeks Family topic. Speaks to me as I didn't have a good sibling relationship until I was an adult. The speaker says parents leave us too soon, romantic partners arrive too late but it's siblings who are there for the whole ride. Wish I'd been more aware of that way back when... Adds some quite interesting information on both roles and birth order.

Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers [Gordon Neufeld, Gabor Mate M.D.] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. International authority on child development Gordon Neufeld, Ph.D., joins forces with bestselling author Gabor Maté

Week 10 - Families

As I work through this material it really strikes me that by the time our kids hit adolescence if they haven't been parented they are not going to know how to parent. With early adulthood and Erikson's stage of intimacy V. Isolation they are going to be making decisions about their own family paths. I am studying attachment theory in another paper ( Development Through Relationships - brilliant by the way! ) and between this chapter in Adolescence and that paper it reminded me of a book I read several years ago called "Hold onto Your Kids; Why Parents Need to Matter More than Their Peers". It is by Gordon Neufeld, a Canadian psychologist. Basically, it said parents need to be the "true north" for their children. The point that they always can return to, particularly for moral guidance so, ties in well with last weeks study. He talks about how we are allowing our kids to be parented by their peers by "giving up too early". i.e. when the going gets tough in adolescence we are saying, "Whatever, do what your friends are doing..." so they are not learning the life lessons from parents who have got this experience but making repeated mistakes and taking time to get there as they are learning from peers. This plays out in children staying at home longer and delaying moving out because they have not got what it takes to survive in the big bad world. I am very much paraphrasing here but these were the take home lessons that I took from this book about 8 years ago and they are still with me today.

This is the "blurb" on this book...

International authority on child development Gordon Neufeld, Ph.D., joins forces with bestselling author Gabor Maté, M.D., to tackle one of the most disturbing trends of our time: Children today looking to their peers for direction—their values, identity, and codes of behavior. This “peer orientation” undermines family cohesion, interferes with healthy development, and fosters a hostile and sexualized youth culture. Children end up becoming overly conformist, desensitized, and alienated, and being “cool” matters more to them than anything else. Hold On to Your Kids explains the causes of this crucial breakdown of parental influence—and demonstrates ways to “reattach” to sons and daughters, establish the proper hierarchy in the home, make kids feel safe and understood, and earn back your children’s loyalty and love. This updated edition also specifically addresses the unprecedented parenting challenges posed by the rise of digital devices and social media. By helping to reawaken instincts innate to us all, Neufeld and Maté will empower parents to be what nature intended: a true source of contact, security, and warmth for their children.

One of the huge challenges I have had with Tumblr is finding credible information from credible sources. I feel as I have wasted so much time trawling through unsubstantiated clips etc as I seek to both enhance my own learning and add meaningful and worthwhile content to the Tumblr. Khan Academy is one of my trusted sources but I hadn't realised until now it had this sort of material on it so, with great pleasure I feel as though I can add something meaningful both in terms of the content of this clip and the source with you all... details below. Although it's hard to have "peer reviewed" social media from the background research I have done on Sal Khan and how he set up this medium I feel more comfortable with the quality of the material than a lot of other sources I have looked at.

Published on Feb 25, 2014

Learn about how we develop our morals according to Kohlberg's Theory of Moral Development. He emphasizes how we are climbing the ladder of morality as we develop. Do most of us reach the highest stage of morality? More free lessons at: http://www.khanacademy.org/video?v=On... Visit us (http://www.khanacademy.org/science/he...) for health and medicine content or (http://www.khanacademy.org/science/mcat) for MCAT related content.

tweenagedreamthings

Meet Taylor Hatala, the 11 year old taking the internet by storm with her moves to Nicki Minaj’s Anaconda.

I feel this video is related to several of our topics, including sexuality and morality. While there is no denying that this young girl is an incredible dancer, this clip has been raising eyebrows and judgements across the globe about whether it is appropriate for an 11 year old girl to be dancing to a song with the key take home message that “penis is only hungry for big booty”.

This video has been shared on Facebook by radio stations and received a storm of feedback from both sides. Some of the comments are pretty extreme!!!

I would be interested in other peoples opinions on this :)

hoopla27

What 11 year old girl wouldn't want to emulate in terms of talent and ability. My thinking is what good is this talent going to do for this child ( and 11 is still a child ) when placed in this context. Is it going to make her a better dancer, is she going to make the world a better place by using this gift and skill in this way? What is it going to do to her moral development? My guess is, in a couple of years this child may be an adolescent on the wrong track, morally, sexually and emotionally. Exposure like this isn't healthy or positive and what next Taylor? Do you want to stay an internet sensation or find a dance school which will shape your energy and enthusiasm into greatness???

According to the founders of this amazing body of work values are defined by culture whereas virtues transcend country, culture, religion, creed. Cultural context plays a significant role in developing morality in adolescents. If a lot of the judgement that always creeps into morality could be deactivated by using the language that this work suggests it could make a significant impact on adolescent lives.

Week 9 - Morality

Love this topic! For me this is what matters across the lifespan - character, moral, virtue. We plant the seeds in childhood and nurture throughout the early years through to adolescence and early adulthood. For me it is morality that makes the difference in the world. What is the point of academic brilliance if it cannot be directed to serve the world. Of course there is the debate about what actually serves the world and from whose perspective that comes from. I'm going to post the Virtues Project website in another post. This for me takes moral development down to the simplest level by identifying 52 human virtues that are present in all - some in strength and some in challenge. Yes, we all have patience but sometimes it is hard to find ... These virtues represent the stepping stones to morality in all it's forms - character, identity, education. Countering this however, I do use the phrase that "the view from the moral high ground is always better" to take cognisance of the challenge of coming from this perspective. However, just because it's hard, doesn't mean we shouldn't try...

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