275.208 Adolescent Development

An exploration of my journey through this paper

[exploringadolescentdevelopment]

Reflection

I started this Tumblr project against my will will great unease. I am not a huge social media fan and after being on Facebook for a few years was ready to leave all together so the idea that I had to engage in another social media project in order to pass this paper was not a pleasant one! I also felt skeptical about what I would learn from it. Well, after all these weeks I have changed my view completely!! This project has made me really think about the different aspects of adolescence, not simply read a textbook but to actually engage in the topics in that textbook and then post on them on Tumblr. Not only have I had to think myself but seeing the information that others have posted on Tumblr has been fascinating. I come away feeling as though I have actually learnt about adolescence and can understand more clearly the process I went  through myself all those years ago and also the process that my own four children will embark on. By actively engaging in the topics, researching for interesting photos, articles and quotes I have deepened my understanding and opened myself up to others experiences and viewpoints. While I do not intend to keep my Tumblr account open I do appreciate the journey I have been on with it!

[exploringadolescentdevelopment]

No one can be given an education. All you can give is the opportunity to learn

I love this quote in Santrock, unfortunately despite initially being a very bright and academic student I went 'off the rails' a bit during my 15th & 16th years and let my schoolwork fall by the wayside. I ended up regaining my academic ground but looking back now regret intensely the way I behaved. How frustrating it must have been for my parents but also my teachers to see a young teenager with potential ignore the educational opportunity she is given. Adolescents choose how to take up the opportunity of learning...some choose well and others disregard (what is actually privilege denied to many) the opportunity often with later regrets.

[exploringadolescentdevelopment]

Friendship is such an integral part of adolescence. For myself I was part of a trio of three girls and we stayed close throughout our teens although there were a lot of ups and downs. While my friends and I helped and supported each other we also had negative influences one each other. I felt pressured to smoke by one and often left out at times. However having others there to talk to and watch going through similar things helped me not to feel too isolated. As adults we remain very close friends and can now look back humorously on what was actually a really rough time for us full of silly decisions. 

[exploringadolescentdevelopment]

Love is a canvas furnished by nature and embroidered by imagination

Santrock (2014).

I saw this quote and thought how relevant it is to adolescent relationships! The emotions and ideas tend to take over once an individual is 'going out with someone' and they often believe "this is it, this is the love of my life, we will be married and live happily ever after" when in reality this does not often happen. They become carried away by their imagination of romance.

[exploringadolescentdevelopment]

Santrock (2014) writes that "romantic emotions can envelop adolescent's lives" and this is definitely something I experienced myself and can also see around me in adolescents that I know and interact with. Those first feelings of love are so intense and seem/are extremely real to those experiencing them. This can be beneficial by helping them to feel loved and accepted however they can also lead to depression and self doubt, these relationships can also lead to becoming involved in substance abuse or sexual intercourse. 

[exploringadolescentdevelopment]

This is a really interesting article about the impact of time spent with friends during adolescence and how it impacts on them later in life.

[tweenagedreamthings]

Coroner warns of dangers of Facebook after student, 19, targeted by young women bullies online hanged himself

Budding photographer Lewis Thelwall, of Port Talbot, South Wales, committed suicide after false rumours about him were posted online, an inquest into his death heard.

Sadly, These cases are all too common. You only have to search “Cyber Bullying” to learn about the negative effects peer relationships can have on teens. 

Santrock (2012) discusses the positive and negative effects of teen relationships and friendships. When they are positive, teen relationships can provide a sense of belonging, learning and understanding, respect for others and development of identity. 

When negative, however, teens may feel isolated and depressed, over looked by peers and bullied. It is sad to think, as in cases like this young man, that all of this may be going on in a world that is foreign to many parents- the online world. 

[exploringadolescentdevelopment]

These cases seem to be becoming common across the world and are so worrying and sad. The way that adolescents now have media at their fingertips day and night means that they are followed into their homes by bullies and confronting images/text. I truly feel grateful that facebook/twitter etc were not around when I was going through adolescence as I can image the great pressure that I would have felt and also feeling excluded or inferior to seemingly perfect or happy groups/individuals. It is so sad to think of individuals feeling so tormented and alone as though they have no way out. I know that as a parent I worry about the the intensity of social media and how I can help my own children to have both limited exposure and also the ability to deal with and come to me if they face cyber bullying.

[2roseslisa]

As a teen, sadly peer pressure can be like a gun to the head.  The influence from others can be so hard to escape…

[exploringadolescentdevelopment]

Yes I agree with this.  Sometime friends can be so cruel.  I remember as a teenager all I wanted to do was fit in and be well liked.  My friends were popular and when I look back at some of the awful ways they use to treat me I cannot help but think that I use to get invited out because I had the car and then after a few drinks I quite often use to be the brunt of their jokes. 

This is a confronting image/message. I agree, peer pressure is so immense and the desire to fit in and do was others tell you/want you to is so strong. I did a lot of things I did not feel comfortable with when I was a teen and am just glad that I came out of it all happy and healthy and found confidence to say no.

[exploringadolescentdevelopment]

Santrock discusses how parent-adolescent conflict is greater than conflict levels at any other stage of childhood, parenting styles may play a part in how a child copes or turns out however as a parent it can be very hard to find the right balance! It is important to remember that secure attachment is very important during adolescence, some people think that attachment is only relevant during early childhood however this is not the case and attachment plays an important role in adolsecence.

[exploringadolescentdevelopment]

As marriage has become a more optional, less permanent institution in contemporary America, children and adolescents are encountering stresses and adaptive challenges associated with their parents' marital transitions

I was drawn to this quote in Santrock (2014) because this is something I believe is happening, it seems to me that marriage is not so 'forever' as it once was. While I definitely do not think people should stay in abusive or unhappy marriages I also do not think they should take marriage lightly. I know a friend who on his wedding day, when asked by his best man if he was sure he wanted to do this said "oh well I can always divorce her". I was shocked by this, what a thoughtless way to enter a marriage, especially if children are going to be involved. Has societies view towards marriage changed? Are these changing views affecting the way adolescents view monogamy and marriage? I believe they have but would love to hear what others think.

[babystanley15-deactivated201410]

This website gives parents information and resources regarding adolescents. It offers tips and ideas on many subjects including drugs and alcohol, mental health, and health and wellbeing. Not only is adolescents a hard time for them, but also parents. Although this is an Australian programme, it can be helpful for NZ’ers as well.

Personally, I find this a great idea to have parental resources online as it can give quick and understandable information. Especially with subjects that can be hard to talk about with teens such as mental health, or sex.

[exploringadolescentdevelopment]

I agree, there are definitely some benefits to parenting in the internet age where there is information and tips accessible at the touch of a button like this. 

[adolescentdevelopment-blog]

Should parents stay together for the sake of the children and adolescents?

No.

[2roseslisa]

Definitely not! Walking on egg shells, watching parents fight & argue is not something I want for my children and adolescent. Yes it can be unsettlig in other areas of their lives but…

[briarlinklater-deactivated20141]

I absolutely agree with this.  However, I believe the major difficulty is knowing when to call it quits.  I have a nagging suspicion that in many circumstances the final curtain may called on a relationship prematurely.  How much of the “worse” do you weather while waiting for the “good”? Anecdotally, there are many in older generations who ‘had’ to stick together, managed to work through things, and were incredibly happy… just as there were many trapped in impossible situations for whom there was no escape (and I would wish that on no-one).  I personally know a couple who were divorced after years and three children together, went their separate ways for a number of years, and were just recently remarried and could not be happier!  If only we had a crystal ball to know what the future holds, whichever road we choose, and thank goodness we live in a time and culture where we can choose.

[exploringadolescentdevelopment]

No I don't think they should stay together JUST for the sake of their children however I do think it is a reason to perhaps try harder and attempt to get back on track if possible. I also know from personal experience that even if your parents relationship is rocky and unstable at times as a child/adolescent, and you may think at the time 'oh I wish they would just split up', as an adult and especially when you have children of your own you really appreciate the fact that they stuck it out! 

[bob-bailey]

My experience as a father has been that a secure home is vital at all stages of life. At adolescence and early adulthood, it the place you can always return to if things go wrong, or to share your triumphs! I believe that young people stepping out to run there own lives need to know they have a safety. They may not need it, but it good to know!

[briarlinklater-deactivated20141]

Totally agree - my father was the safety net that permitted me to get out there and enjoy life…..

[exploringadolescentdevelopment]

I found this really interesting and yes I agree, strong family bonds have a significant impact. While I did do reckless things as a teenager I always felt secure knowing I had my family at home as my safety net. It gave me a sense of security even during my angst and confusion.

[exploringadolescentdevelopment]

I found this a simple and interesting article on sibling relationships during adolescence and how they can change with adolescents feeling distanced from both their younger and older siblings for varying reasons. This was definitely the case in my own family however we all came together in early adulthood and have been close since. 

[exploringadolescentdevelopment]

I absolutely love this - as one of five children I really value my siblings. When we were children and going through adolescence however it was a different story, I have vivid memories of fights both physical and verbal!! There were times when we could not stand each other yet I always looked up to them as role models and think we definitely had influence over each other. As adults now we have a wonderful relationship. This is what gets me through when my own children fight, I can see in particular the change in my eldest daughter now she has entered adolescence, she seems to skip between absolute disgust at having siblings and occasional indulgent moments of play (although it is HER way or not at all) and she definitely influences her younger siblings behaviour and views. I found it interesting and slightly worrying to read that high levels of sibling conflict can be detrimental to adolescent development..

[exploringadolescentdevelopment]

Holding the child close is easier than letting the adolescent go

I found this a really interesting read, initially I was just skimming and then this line caught my eye,"I equally believe in the importance DETACHMENT PARENTING during the adolescent years (starting ages 9 – 13) and all the ways parents must let the teenager go for a confident independence to grow". Wow I had never thought about looking at it this way!

[exploringadolescentdevelopment]

I came across this today and LOVED it - while it may not be particularly relevant to the topic this week it is such an important message to remember as children enter into adolescence and either judge or feel judged. If more of society would realise that we are all the same underneath then perhaps the world would be a kinder place...