Dear diary...

show me something new 

[hopelessteendiary]

"On Thursday I turned seventeen. But that morning when my mom wished us happy birthday, I started to feel lightheaded-like my guts were falling out. I barely made it back upstairs before I fainted on my carpet. When I woke up something had happened to me. I felt like I had shifted in time and that my future self had just discovered how to time travel; but then I got up and looked in the mirror and realized I had just grown up in real-time and I didn't know whether I should cry or smile-so I did a bit of both until I felt okay enough to walk to school."

-My teenage diary, November 23rd, 2020

[hopelessteendiary]

"The rock felt comforting against my fingertips, like laying against a granite countertop in the heat of the summer. Afterwards, I walked him home, and for some reason, we held hands. "I hate you." I said as he pulled me along. "I know you do." He responded with a smile, and it always comes back to this- him and his annoying smile and my hands that can't let go of absolutely anything."

-My teenage diary, November 23rd, 2020

[hopelessteendiary]

"I was waiting to be kissed so hard I could barely breathe. But as seamless as an exhale, we collided, and through my closed eyelids I could still see the blinking light of the lighthouse illuminating our frames every 5 seconds, and every 5 seconds I would fall deeper and deeper in love with him. When I opened them all I could see was him and that lighthouse, but they're both the same thing really; guiding me somewhere I'm supposed to be."

-My teenage diary, August 22nd 2021

[hopelessteendiary]

"We kept throwing each other into the waves. We laughed until we got all jello-like and we could barely hold ourselves up anymore. My arms were wrapped around his neck, and for a brief moment, I felt like a little kid again. I had always wanted to be held like that."

-My teenage diary, August 25th 2021

[hopelessteendiary]

"Then he left, and now it's the 4th. For some reason I cried on the 2nd, and felt empty on the 3rd. I went to the mall in search of something to steal, but it was so barren I suddenly felt bad doing so. I talked about high-school with a friend over soup, nothing felt better after the bowl was empty. My eyes closed reading on the train and I felt fine with it. I wouldn't find myself reading about Siberia."

-My diary, January 4th, 2022

[hopelessteendiary]

"'You must change your life." My English professor said, dramatically dashing a line on the chalkboard. The whole class went quiet. How? Why? When? None of us made it clear, but to each and every one of us that struck a different chord. I've been wanting to change my life for awhile, but I guess, now that somebody has told me to; I will."

-my teenage diary, March 22nd, 2022

[hopelessteendiary]

"I'm sorry. I'm just stressed because work is piling up and I haven't been held in awhile. Tomorrow-I'll reset my emotions, but unfortunately, I still dread the act of thinking about myself."

-My teenage diary, April 3rd 2022

[hopelessteendiary]

"I used to want to create drawings of cats, and homemade furniture for my animal toys; and now it seems all I want to create is a deeper meaning in myself. And I’m searching so hard trying to find it, and every day it’s slipping in and out of my subconscious ability to do so."

-My virtual diary, December 2022

[hopelessteendiary]

"And when I think back to these small moments between me and him, it’s just that; thinking back. I don’t feel emotion, sorrow, or happiness. I just remember them happening like I’m watching a movie about a girl I’m completely unattached from, almost like I’m watching a movie about a girl I hate. "

-My diary, September 21st 2022

[tteambeschuss]

[tteambeschuss]

[godenteredmybody-deactivated202]

[hopelessteendiary]

I must see angels all the time then

[hopelessteendiary]

[hopelessteendiary]

"It was kind of sad though. We all know without hesitation that we'll all have to be housewives one day. It's a little comforting, but also it gives me a strange feeling I don't think I'm ready to confront yet. But, I guess I don't have to think about that just yet anyway. I guess it's just the experience of being a woman."

-My Diary, December 2nd, 2022

[hopelessteendiary]

"It's odd when two souls pass by each other so often, yet the circumstances are never perfect enough of a breeding ground for anything to happen. I wonder if the timing was just right, if we would have ever ended up together. But, there's no use wondering about such things."

-My Diary, December 25th, 2022

[hopelessteendiary]

"It's pathetic that somebody with my kind of potential is wasting it straightening fortune cookie papers in my room. What a shame"

-My Diary, January 4th, 2022

[hopelessteendiary]

"He ended up staying the night in my bed; it was too cold to leave, and I needed to be touched."

-My diary, Dec 25th, 2022