#diaryentries

[formaldehyde-girl]

[musigenic]

2012: my top 10 albums and the mess of it all

it’s 2012. i’m 15, messy, and trying to figure it all out. we’re in peak tumblr culture, before it got sanitized. lana’s playing on my cracked iPod touch while i scribble in a diary hidden under my bed. this list is as much about the music as it is about the moments it soundtracked. let’s get into it

top 10 albums of 2012:

"Born to Die" - Lana Del Rey this album raised me. “blue jeans” had me walking through the halls of my high school like i was the protagonist of the saddest indie film.

diary, february 16, 2012 i’m sad but still want to be hot.

2. "Channel Orange" - Frank Ocean this album wasn’t just music; it was therapy.

diary, july 10, 2012 my best friend didn’t even flinch when i said i thought girls were prettier than boys. she said, ‘duh.’

3. "Visions" - Grimes this was the sound of my tumblr dashboard coming to life. alien, weird, ethereal; grimes was the patron saint of every girl trying to escape her boring small-town life.

diary, march 23, 2012 i wore eyeliner today. not like normal eyeliner, but grimes eyeliner. mom asked if i was okay. i told her i was fine.

4. "good kid, m.A.A.d city" - Kendrick Lamar this one hit different, even though his world was a million miles from mine.

diary, october 2, 2012 the lyrics to ‘bitch, don’t kill my vibe’ are gonna be my next tattoo.

5. "Electra Heart" - Marina and the Diamonds marina gave me a blueprint for being heartbreakingly dramatic and still kind of in control.

diary, may 14, 2012 put on ‘primadonna’ and danced around my room until i collapsed. the mirror and that fucking cockroach were my audience.

6. "An Awesome Wave" - Alt-J this album felt like discovering a secret. it wasn’t for everyone, but it was for me.

diary, august 28, 2012 it’s like they took all my weird thoughts and made them pretty. maybe one day, i’ll figure out how to do that too.

7. "Halcyon" - Ellie Goulding this was my running-away album. when i wanted to disappear, i put on “anything could happen” and imagined hopping on a train to somewhere no one knew me.

diary, november 3, 2012 i’m tired of being stuck. maybe one day i’ll leave and never come back.

8. "The Idler Wheel..." - Fiona Apple fiona apple’s raw, unfiltered genius was like a slap in the face. she made me feel seen in my anger, my sadness, my everything.

diary, june 5, 2012 i slammed my door so hard today that the handle came loose. i’m so full of everything and nothing all at once. it’s exhausting.

9. "Lonerism" - Tame Impala this album was my escape into another universe.

diary, september 17, 2012 math class is hell. i put on ‘feels like we only go backwards’ and pretended i was floating instead of stuck in a desk surrounded by people i’ll probably forget in five years. (SO DRAMATIC WTF)

10. "Some Nights" - fun. this one was pure drama, and i loved it. it was the soundtrack to all my overthinking, overfeeling, and overwhelming moments.

diary, april 11, 2012 sometimes life’s okay, i guess.

2012 was a mess, and so was i, but looking back, it was kind of beautiful in it. these albums carried me through the storm, each one a little lighthouse guiding me somewhere better. here’s to the music that saves us when nothing else can.

[biographiness]

On May 31, from the quill’s final rest to nature’s mighty test, and a whisper that shook the halls of power – a day etched in history.📜🌊🕵️‍♂️

Follow👉 @biographiness

[fearless13]

Aveces creo que no soy suficiente

Que no soy el plato fuerte de nadie

Si no ese que te dan para matar el hambre mientras esperas

A alguien mejor, alguien que te llene más

Y no se que hacer para que alguien se quede conmigo

Para que alguien me prefiera

No sé como cambiar mi sabor,

Pero si soy la que más lo intenta

...

Aunque,

Por una vez,

Quisiera ser yo la que puede decir no

[publicjournal024]

It feels good going to bed tired, knowing I worked hard today

[hopelessteendiary]

"It was kind of sad though. We all know without hesitation that we'll all have to be housewives one day. It's a little comforting, but also it gives me a strange feeling I don't think I'm ready to confront yet. But, I guess I don't have to think about that just yet anyway. I guess it's just the experience of being a woman."

-My Diary, December 2nd, 2022

[damsel-independent]

Have you ever felt so broken over something that has never happened? A person that has never existed? Over a feeling you haven’t felt? And then sometimes, it scares you to bits that even though that moment is yet to exist, you know how much it already makes you vulnerable enough to wreck your insides? 

And this is why you close yourself to others, that’s why you push people away, because attachment to something so precious  hurts as much as losing it. 

[roansgraham]

I'm new here. I will be writing and posting old writing. If you like what I have to share, please follow. If you want to know what I am about, you can read what I write and interpret it for yourself, or ask me in messages because I secretly enjoy a good conversation about writing. Thanks and have a good day.