Horrible Vacuum Intnl.

Producer and Distributor of the World's finest wordmovies and ebooks. Most things available at www.horriblevacuum.com

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http://horriblevacuum.com/wordmovies/wishing-hell/

Juicay and Flunky had taken a short break while down in the hole they had dug. It was nearly eight feet deep at this point, and they felt proud; among all other emotions. “We’ve gotta be close to hitting water, I can just tell!” Flu said, her smile wide for the first time this trip. “Like, wouldn’t it be cool if I just pushed real hard on the shovel now…and…” She drove her steel wedge deep and returned a sharp, PING noise. Why, she’d hit something! More metallic than a rock, and more solid than a water!

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http://horriblevacuum.com/wordmovies/grocery-stalker/

Just then, a customer yelled out from the back of the store, "Help! I've been murdered!"

Candee and detective ran towards the noise, as did a great many people.

In mere seconds, everyone was gathered around the bleeding, holy woman laying in aisle seven. She was no nun though! She was holy with stab wounds!

Rebonka took the conversational reigns and asked, "What happens? Who did this to you?!"

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http://horriblevacuum.com/wordmovies/hungry-hungry-hippies/

The four sat lazily on an under–stuffed couch in a damp basement room, moist concrete walling them in on all sides. Heaps of boxes, piled high in the corner, hosted a wide array of molding clothes, blankets, and fabrics; most stolen from a nearby thrift store during one of their many drug–addled freakouts. A dim bulb hummed from within a gaudy turquoise lamp, cigarette burns dotting the shade. There was a closed wooden door facing them offering the pitter–patter of a gentle rain popping against the other side. A puddle had formed beneath the doorjamb.

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http://horriblevacuum.com/wordmovies/t-shirt-of-the-wearwolf/

Dunkey burst through the front doors of his junior high-school with a swagger in his step and a thinking-about-his-new-wolf-shirt gleam in his eye. Babes turned their heads to look and dudes also, but to look with jealousy. Strutting, Dunkey came upon his best friend Tay-Bozz who glanced quickly around and then shouted, “Slam-Dunkey! My man! What’s that, a wolf? Haha AH-OOOOOO! Lookin fly like I don’t know why! But yeah I do, because it’s that shirt and that’s a true!” He said, rhyming.

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http://horriblevacuum.com/wordmovies/the-best-thing-since-sliced-brad/

“Brad!” Angela shook Brad by the shoulders until his gleaming eyeballs revealed themselves again. Brad’s body lay on the sidewalk, his head throbbing from a mighty whomp between it and that sidewalk from before. Angela continued, “Brad? Are you ok? You just…I think you blacked out!” She knelt down, looking into his face. “Look, if you’re ok, I should really be going. Be careful though and maybe a doctor could be the kind of thing you talk to next. Byeeee!” With that, Angela skipped down the sidewalk, off into the distance.

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http://horriblevacuum.com/wordmovies/upholstergeist/

“The boyfriend and new girlfriend grabbed each end of the soggy antique couch and carried it through the waist-high weeds and brambles, down the embankment and snugged it up against the back wall of the bridge out of sight of the road. They were sneaky-careful to straighten up the bent over weeds so as to hide their efforts. They checked their work, hopped back into the tiny car out of the rain, attempted and failed another high five, and were off to borrow a pickup truck or something.“

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http://horriblevacuum.com/wordmovies/continental-drift/

"The tension in the truck was as thick as lava as they pondered their fiery mortality. “Listen, Rock. You’ve got to be crazy,” said Vulcan his forehead heavily creased in desperation. “This baby is going to blow and the last time a team of drift-car racing geologists tried to halt a plate shift, a massive tsunami killed millions. There’s just no way we can pull this off. You know the story and you know it just can’t be done.”

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Federal Offense by Art Luman

http://horriblevacuum.com/wordmovies/federal-offense/

Bogus MacGernehey sat on the deck of his yellow houseboat watching the dolphins play in the waves. He marveled at their wet, torpedo-like bodies as they cut through the water like wet torpedoes and commented out loud that they seemed so knowing, intelligent, compassionate, and wise. Just as he was about to pen his thoughts in his notebook, his cordless phone rang. “Bleeen bleeen!” It went. “Oh great! Just when I was about to write some more of my thoughts about dolphins, truly amazing creatures that they are, my phone rings.” He straightened himself up and he answered the phone, all business. “Hello. This is Bogus.” ...

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http://horriblevacuum.com/wordmovies/zikki-zikki-chango/

what is that mysterious word and does it hold the secret of the diamonds?

“But lo, a rude awakening awaited a guy like me, Rang Crudrock, for as I slept, a storm of the rudest grey was building…waiting! A shake I could sleep through; maybe even a shimmy shimmy – but this cloudburst yelled like a soldier aflame and kissed my little plane with a lightning tongue and thunder lips! My eyes opened just in time to surf the tidal wave of broken glass, throwing shards of my cockpit allover me like a cupped cake! Happy Birthday? No, it was not!

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http://horriblevacuum.com/wordmovies/father-figure/

a kid's dad comes back to life as an action figure and they hangout.

“Even Laron had to admit, having a dad who worked at a toy factory was pretty excellent - he would often bring home special toys from the toy factory for Laron to have or play with. Cars, trucks, smaller cars – all super exciting toys, but Laron loved action figures most of all. He would spend hours concocting glorious scenes with his “playmen” as he called them. Sometimes Laron’s dad would join in the playing and they would stage all sorts of things. It filled Laron’s dad with a sense of pride that he could make things that could bring so much joy to his imaginative son.

“Okay! Ok now I really gotta run – or should I say drive! Bye again sweets.” He gave his wife a quick kiss on the cheek and was out the door just like every Monday through Friday morning.

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http://horriblevacuum.com/wordmovies/vamp-stamp/

some harmless ink on Spring Break may be more than a babe has bargained for. 

“Check out this poofin’ porchy, too! Slide the glass and let’s get some!” Jennifar offered, as they walked out onto the thin, metal ledge overlooking the pool area. Dozens of boys, hot with attitude, splished and splashed, cooing loudly to one another, tossing a football once, or twice. The girls glanced down, and then looked at one another, and seemed at once to read the other’s mind. They tore off their clothes to reveal great, colorful swimsuits, and dove over the railing, into the pool! Galloom! The water went flying, as did the boys.

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http://horriblevacuum.com/wordmovies/bloody-murdoor/

mysterious clues all lead to a door, but is there any way out?

They went on joking and moving boxes into the early evening when they paused to perform the contemporary house-breaking-in ritual of ordering delivery pizza and then sex on the unadorned floor. After the sex they shifted their attentions to exploring the new abode. Doors led to rooms all over the house: upstairs, a kitchen, two bathrooms, all of it examined and incorporated into their glistening dreamy-schemeys for their new life.

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http://horriblevacuum.com/wordmovies/hypewriter/

the discovery of a magical typewriter inspires the freshest raps for the school's talent show. 

“Armand, was that YOU?!”, his younger sister Bethany yelled, her eyes as wide as her big open mouth. Pigtailed and wearing overalls, she leaned on the door handle for support. “That couldn’t have been you, that was way too fresh. Fresh to death! What hot new album are you rocking in here? I heard it through the wall!” She searched around with her eyes and eventually landed on Armand sitting there – a paper in his hand.

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http://horriblevacuum.com/wordmovies/prayer-y-dog/

A dog gets a new leash on life by spontaneously discovering the power of prayer.

“They started going over the tapes. Nothing out of the ordinary until! At 12:35am they saw it - Miracle Troy nosed open the door to a room where a shetland sheepdog was in critical condition. He walked up to the bed, sniffed around for a moment, sat down by the foot of the bed, and, well Rim could swear it looked like he put his front two paws together and looked up to the ceiling almost like . . . like he was praying.“