what.

it's a shitshow tbh

[fancysmudges]

Concept: A witch cat that’s too fat to fly

[swordsintheforest]

Awwwww

[teatops]

I am on the verge of tears please watch this

[naslostcontrol]

BRIDGERTON Season 2 + tumblr (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 8, 9) and one twitter posts (7)

[tastefullyoffensive]

[93gal-deactivated20131124]

Legitness!!

[biinarykid]

i enjoy how they didnt over sexualize their prince costumes. like esp with jasmine. she couldve totally been in aladdin’s vest, but nope. fully clothed. thanks. 

[captainthief]

laughing because Mulan looks the same

[wolfenartistofhetastuck-blog]

things i loved more then i expected, this

[al-the-stuff-i-like]

this is honestly one of my favorite posts ever

[cana-mochi]

Meanwhile the Princes:

[justanotherhawkeyefan]

Everytime I see that last pic I lose it when I see Eric. It’s just so perfect.

[amerlcanapparel-deactivated2020]

when she says she doesn’t send nudes

[straighthater]

when guys objectify women and expect them to send nudes

[timelordpillbug]

when someone asks you about your nuclear plans for russia

[hikingnerd]

When Russia sends you nudes

[dr-thackery]

[dismantlerepaired]

[ilovepretzelrods]

[thegingerbalrog]

[onwardwall]

[miss-jaxon-flaxon-waxon]

#what the fuck happened here

[her-eyes-dared-me-with-danger]

This is my favorite post in all of tumblr

[kyloschuyler]

reminder that this post is now illegal in Russia

[tree-of-blue-squirrel]

reblog it, because Russia can´t

[maradaisykat]

Thanks Obama 

[my-sisters-eyeball]

Wtf

[roomba-with-knives-taped-to-it]

When Russia makes this post illegal

[earthnicity]

I HAVE ONLY SEEN THIS IN SCREENSHOTS

[dovahdez]

I will reblog this every goddamn time I find it on my dash

[ergolost]

omg

[rat-of-the-sky-on-fire-deactiva]

World heratige post

[between-2-and-20-characters]

ah yes, the original version

[pisshandkerchief-deactivated202]

“when Russia sends you nudes” kills me every time

[cooltransghost]

shh, dont tell anyone

[what-even-is-thiss]

The ancient texts…

[robotmango]

it’s ninety-nine degrees outside, four fuck-thousand percent humidity, and my husband was like, “i’m gonna go for a bike ride.” and i was like “why. no. why. don’t put us on the news like that. local fool collapses on unnecessary journey. don’t do it.” so he says he doesn’t want to “hide in the house” because the sun is shining. bruh. honeybruh. “the sun is shining” does not cover it. its hot outside. its motherfucking hot as fuck outside. our outdoor plants have been crying into their hands all week. whole cars are melting into the sewer. our fucking patio umbrella developed sentience to ask me for lemonade this morning

[awed-frog]

@robotmango, you need to work for the weather forecast - this was both hilarious and so vivid it made me stand up and get some iced tea.

[robotmango]

this is a great idea, thank you. here goes. my audition tape for the weather channel. dearly beloved. we are gathered here today to have a fucking funeral for the outdoors. it had a good run, with all its creeks and clouds and shit. pretty great. now it’s ten-thirty at night but still ninety-two asshole-sweating degrees and humid as fuck. everything is hot and slimy, like being a “borrower” that got trapped inside a bottle of shampoo and then accidentally microwaved. you can see on my doppler radar that nothing is moving around out there because everything is probably dead. the only alive thing is the mosquito currently trying to drill a hole in my leg. no surprise that all the shitbag mosquitos are fine, since the thermostat of hell is always at the devil’s preferred temperature. this forecast has gotten away from me a little, but in conclusion fuck the sun

[scarylullabies]

I think I’ve reblogged this before, but “the thermostat of hell is always at the devil’s preferred temperature” is fucking poetry

[piranesiandtheother-deactivated]

ninety nine???? thats IT????????? buddy here in the 7th circle of h*ck, California, we get up to at LEAST 110 degrees every single gosh darned summer.  the bugs seek revenge.  the sun wreaks havoc on the mere mortals it surveys.   every plant has turned brown in its thirst for water.  the very air itself has been sucked dry of every drip of moisture it ever had.  

ninety nine degrees.  you weak fool.

[robotmango]

well since you asked so politely, let’s talk about something very important vis a vis weather-hotness that you clearly ain’t ever heard of, called

humidity

oh alas, you say. oh papa, whatever shall i do, it is ever so hotte and drye in california. the very air hath been sucked of all its moisturey droplets and whatnot.* one hundredy and tennith desiccated degrees!

*(yo, drought is serious. i am pretty obviously not making fun of that.)

alright. let’s check it out. here’s a random california city, right about now:

thirty-two percent. and here’s a random mid-atlantic city located somewhere in the wet fleshy crease behind a demon’s knee*:

*(confession: i do not live in dc, but several years ago i spent three weeks steaming like a tinned ham in arlington in august. none of the pants i took with me could ever keep a crease again.)

huh! funny thing! “see, dc’s actually seven degrees COOLER,” you say, because you’ve obviously never gone outside and taken a deep lungful of wet sock trash air in your life. and now for added bliss, here’s what early wednesday morning’s gonna be like for these poor clowns:

that’s right! eighty-two percent humidity! the point at which showers no longer matter, because you’re all caught in God’s grease trap! just stressed human eels miserably slip slidin’ their way through a damp melty bathwater-flavored hellscape that feels like it’s actively sous viding their top layer of skin! a hundred thousand people packed into public transit breathing air that feels like deepthroating swamp thing! and you wanna talk to me about fuckin california!

[cue science voice]: human bodies cool through evaporation, a process by which the body sweats and sweet invisible angels towel us off, whisking away our unwanted moisture into the air and literally chilling us out. (it’s also why air conditioned air feels so fucking deliciously refreshing: it’s not just being cooled, it’s being conditioned, aka, dehumidified. it’s cool dry air.) but. if the air is already made out of fucking chowder and can’t absorb shit then guess what the fuck our bodies can’t do.

so is this weak fool gonna remain indoors and hydrated through this only medium-hot but fuckoff-humid season? you bet your dried out ass.

[maximumsunshine]

This is poetry.

[lierdumoa]

Here’s a handy calculator that tells you how hot a place “feels” depending on the level of humidity: 

https://www.calculator.net/heat-index-calculator.html

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[grawly]

i love tommy wiseau because nobody but tommy wiseau knows exactly who he is

nobody knows where exactly he was born, or anything about his past. “tommy wiseau” isnt even his real name

fuck nobody even knows how old he really is

[thespacegoat-deactivated2016100]

he’s also a multi billionaire and no one has any idea where he acquired that fortune

his whole life literally makes no sense

[long-ago-1234567890]

[delphinidin4]

[endbittersweet]

a friend of mine tried to sell his soul on ebay and the starter price was $10 and people were bidding on it but before anything happened ebay took it down and sent him an email explaining that if he was selling a soul that didn’t actually exist then it was against their policy and if he was selling a real soul then that is a human body part and it is also against their policy 

[arawol]

tag by @ilthit

[detectiveconnor-deactivated2024]

this is what I have been spending my time on today! It’s a mock-up of a would-be New Jericho website, for human and Android access. Pages include ‘about us’, FAQs, a publications page and a short series of blog posts. There’s also information for Androids seeking a New Jericho shelter, and information for those who can’t reach a NJ shelter.  Explore the full site here! (And cross your fingers the link works!) 

[bunjywunjy]

What animal looks like it would screm the loudest

the bare-throated bellbird is so loud that it can cause permanent damage to human hearing at close range!

and they absolutely look like it.

[peppermintquartz]

edit: i couldn’t resist

[peppermintquartz]

That felt too mild so may i present AAAAAA bird v2

[weirdoughnut]

saved as →

[intjacob]

[dollsahoy]

These are cute but misleading, because the call doesn’t go on–it’s more like one single, quick, rusty beep, only that  beep is one of the loudest sounds made by any land animal

[beetleboo]

oh i’m so glad you have a video of ‘em, I knew I had seen one before!

I have provided an updated funnypic to more accurately reflect the reality of the bird.

[rainrebel-moved04012021]

the dynamic between heinz doofenschmirtz and perry the platypus would probably come off as v romantic and gay if they were two people in a similar age range rather than a dude and a platypus. no i dont ship them but think about it. villainous monologues are already a very romantic and gay thing in itself (don’t question me on this you know im right). listening to somebody ramble excitedly about something they’re proud of is even more romantic and cute af. also doofensmirtz is already gay anyway. the only thing preventing this from becoming Peak Gay is the fact that perry is strictly professional and also a platypus. thanks for coming to my ted talk

[the-malevolent-platypus]

“Perry is strictly professional and also a platypus”

I love the fact that “professional” is the first reason and “platypus” is the second, because this is extremely plausible for Perry.

“Yeah no I can’t fuck I’m on duty”.

[candace-gertrude-flynn-deactiva]

Did you know that…?

1.Doofenshmirtz isn’t evil anymore,allowing Perry to date him

2.Romance betweet animal/human isn’t frowned upon in the Dwampyverse

we even got humans falling in love with inanimate objects, albeit played for laughs

[micaxiii]

one of Doofenshmirtz’ dates ditched him for a whale

[candace-gertrude-flynn-deactiva]

we are talking about a universe where this is canon

for god’s sake

[rainrebel-moved04012021]

Look, I’m not that knowledgeable about Phineas and Ferb lore (although I’m very glad that my post resonated with the Gay Scientists Dating Tired Platypuses fandom) but what, pray tell, the fuck is going on? am i having a stroke? im willing to accept the teacher falling in love with her desk because language teachers just are like that but is this nerd about to bang an ice cone?? hello?????

[candace-gertrude-flynn-deactiva]

It’s the ice cream machine,and her name is Carla

[darkwingsnark]

Let us also pop bottles for the time Doofenshmirtz had to help his ex-thwarty call’s current nemesis become desirable for punching again. 

[writtenletterstotheworld]

I thought Perry was with the Panda?

[candace-gertrude-flynn-deactiva]

That’s a funny history actually.Peter the Panda is also dating his respective nemesis,he even got to met his parents

‘‘our boy is all grown up’‘ ‘‘why is he a panda bear’‘

had me crying

[shoggoth-the-bitch]

I think there was a scene where Peter and Perry were having dinner together at a fancy restaurant. But that was before Doofenshmirtz stopped being evil.

[journal-three]

what the fuck is going on in Phineas and Ferb

[candace-gertrude-flynn-deactiva]

@deenalloh you have to watch milo murphy’s law season 2 to know what’s going on with Doofenshmirtz life.He stopped being evil to commit to his future self: ‘’Professor Time’’ inventor of time-travel and a public figure.

and he is trying to be a good guy now

also there’s 2 more time lines where he ends up good

1.Science teacher

2. O.W.C.A agent (The OWCA Files)

this universe is big and vast and doesn’t end at Phineas and Ferb

[whatamidoingqueer]

Okay but saying that just because some people in that universe are in love with animals/inanimate objects doesn’t mean it’s normal.

I mean, in our universe, someone wanted to marry the Eiffel Tower.

[candace-gertrude-flynn-deactiva]

yeah..but you see..there’s this wonderful thing in cartoons that real life doesn’t have and its animals being actual sentient/anthropomorphic. So,you can’t compare our life with a cartoon ship in this case

[looney-mooney]

Also Perry is arguably one of the smartest characters on both shows when it comes to deductive reasoning, common sense, and social intelligence. He could tell just by looking at a room exactly what happened there a few hours ago. He can problem-solve on the fly, and does so very often. He has basic engineering skills (or at least, “basic” for this universe, which is kinda masterful for our universe), and can communicate complex thoughts to others despite being physically incapable of speaking English (he even knows ASL!) To claim that Perry the Platypus is incapable of providing consent simply because he isn’t human is a disservice to his character. And honestly, if we’re going by the anthropological definition of “human” (bipedal, opposable thumbs, ability to communicate complex thought), then he is by all means “human.” He’s just… A Human Platypus. …?

[rainrebel-moved04012021]

What the fuck became of my post

[candace-gertrude-flynn-deactiva]

[romansleftshoulderpad]

Also Doof is legally an Ocelot

[nb-nightwing-deactivated2022111]

Logan that only raises more questions on an already strange post

[romansleftshoulderpad]

It’s canon. In the OWCA Files. Him legally being an ocelot is what allows him to be an agent.

[hoardofhyperfixations]

What the FUCK

[i-have-n0-idea-what-im-d0ing-de]

Yeah, in one part of his long, tragic backstory, he was abandon and raised by ocelots

[ironwoman359]

I was wondering when someone was gonna bring up the ocelot thing

[vivaciousarcanist]

[sepialunaris]

@looney-mooney I agree with this vit there’s one thing, even if Perry has amazing deductive reasoning he has to at least fall to one trap. That’s just the law of nature.

[looney-mooney]

@oceanic-panic-panic bold of you to assume that Perry doesn’t let himself get trapped on purpose at least 2/3 of the time. Perry always escapes the traps. And he always waits for Doofenshmirtz to finish monologuing before escaping from them. It’s part of their routine, something they both expect: Perry bursts in, gets trapped, patiently listens to doof’s rant of the day, escapes the trap, fights his nemesis, and blows up the Inator. Whenever this routine is broken, they work to maintain it anyway - I can think of at least like 3 instances where Perry purposefully, politely traps himself, and several more where Doofenshmirtz gets impatient and sets Perry free from the trap himself so they can fight.

Perry getting trapped isn’t a sign of some intellectual folley - it’s a sign of his incredible problem-solving skills that he can escape them so easily, and a sign of his social intelligence that he knows to politely wait until his nemesis is ready to stop venting and start fighting.

But why does Perry need to be trapped for his nemesis to vent? Easy. Doofenshmirtz is a victim of severe child abuse, and needs to feel as though he’s somewhat in control of the situation before allowing himself to be vulnerable. Perry being trapped makes him feel safe, and Perry catches on to this. It’s an intricate social dance that none of his coworkers have mastered, the ability to communicate with and accomidate for a villain with special needs. And though it takes the whole summer, they eventually don’t even need the traps, because Perry makes Heinz feel safe.

[candace-gertrude-flynn-deactiva]

[squidpix6]

I mean, back on the Peter the Panda line, being a nemesis was always supposed to be analogous to being in a relationship anyway. I think of this way more as an “arranged relationship turns to true love” story than an “enemies to lovers” one.

[candace-gertrude-flynn-deactiva]

‘’You probably look at Perry the Platypus and me and think it’s a match made in heaven. But it wasn’t always this way. Back in the day, O.W.C.A. assigned agents willy-nilly, with no regard for personality conflicts or basic compatibility issues … like a bad blind date!

Why, when I first met Perry the Platypus, I didn’t even know what kind of an animal he was. Who’s ever heard of a teal platypus?! And I gotta tell you, he got on my last nerve … always staring at me, judging me. You know how he is.

Well, I was ready to call it quits. I even called Major Monogram to see if I could get another nemesis assigned. Something a little less semiaquatic. But thank goodness, Francis said to give it a little more time to see if things could work themselves out. And you know what? They did!

Now I wouldn’t trade my nemesis for anyone in the world. Oh, sure, he still infuriates me and I try to eliminate him on a daily basis, but that’s just what I do.

So, if your first encounter with your mortal foe isn’t perfect, don’t despair! It gets better … usually.’’

I’d say both are correct

[trifoliate-undergrowth]

Me knowing almost nothing about Phineas and Ferb but reading this entire post anyway 

[anachronic-cobra]

The whole Peter the Panda thing wasn’t even SUBTLE about being an analogy for Doof cheating on Perry. For god’s sake they went on Dr. Feelbetter and Doof had to give a big apology and beg to win Perry’s heart back

Also while we’re providing evidence about Doof and Perry in general, Doofenshmirtz is trans

[somethingmissingthiswaycomes]

I love all of this. But I have to point out that Perry is canonically trans because he A) sweats milk (apparently cis male platypuses don’t do that) and B) in the episode about the kids assuming he laid an egg… they assumed he laid an egg. Which means they know he’s capable of it. Which means he’s trans.

[anachronic-cobra]

Interestingly enough, monotreme mammals like the platypus don’t have the same sex-determining gene as therian mammals.

Where humans have two sex chromosomes, platypus have 10. Additionally, Perry has venom spurs. Thus, Perry is intersex

[strangelyregular]

I’ve never watched a single episode of any of these shows what the phineas and fuck is going on here

[timeandspacelord]

Oh to exist in a world (at least partially) of Dan Povenmire’s creation

[tschaikovsky]

[barelyup]

Oh my god ❤️

[lilbluemoo]

Absolutely love this

[caffeinatedlanddetective]

Wow.

Please watch this. 

[doeing]

i was a little apprehensive to watch this because it’s four minutes long and i have a short attention span, but within the first 30 seconds i was hooked.

watch this. please, you won’t regret it.

[ahjones94-deactivated20220925]

If this story doesn’t give people the slightest bit of hope, nothing will. This is AMAZING.

[lisas-stuff-and-junk-deactivate]

This is beautiful. Stories like this need to live on. Please watch and share.

[glendathegoodone]

Oh my Lord! Tragic but beautiful 😢❤️

[catsbeaversandducks]

[afoolnottoloveu]

hello! just a lil smth, please don’t scroll!

tw // anti-asian violence

there’s been a fuck ton of aapi hate since the beginning of the pandemic and especially lately, with the georgia shootings today, and even the grammys last sunday

all this said i just wanted to share a few resources (none mine!):

- anti-asian violence resources (this resource is also linked in my pinned, it contains information, petitions, places to donate and a lot more)

- stop asian hate (contains petitions, places to donate, ways to spread the word and more)

- sites to donate to and share (if you have a twitter please consider retweeting)

- a cumulative twitter thread with a little bit of everything and more than i explained

+ stop asian hate gofundme

+ asian american resource center (an atlanta based foundation focused on housing and civil classes)

—

if you have any resources you wanna share reply and/or reblog and i’ll add it, and with that please share this with the same tags <3 sending love to my fellow aapi, please stay safe all of you and don’t be fucking racist :]

[emmaharwoods]

here is a twitter thread and constantly updating, currently active google doc that contains the gofundmes, paypals, cashapps, etc of victims of anti-asian hate crimes, asian-owned small businesses, and asians who need financial aid. please consider donating & boosting and adding more donation links if you have them.

[anxietyproblem]

[minty-mayhem]

I find it kinda funny

[jagarsjora]

I find it kinda sad

[sarcastonic]

noah marshall x mc

THIS SHOULDVE HAPPENED!!! THE POTENTIAL FOR ANGST MAN!!! THE BUILD UP!!!! THE REESTABLISHMENT OF A BROKEN FRIENDSHIP SLOWLY MORPHING INTO AFFECTION BASED ON MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING!!!! JANE TYING THEM TOGETHER!!!! THE TRAGEDY OF BETRAYAL!!!!THE FINAL GOODBYE!!! ALL THAT COULDVE BEEN!!!

AHHH PB MAKE IL3 PLS AND MAKE THIS A REALITY AHDJSNDNDNS IM BEGGING U PLS GIVE THE PEOPLE THE ULTP WE DESERVE 🤩🥰🥰🥰😔😔😔😭😭😭😭

[sarcastonic]

reblogging bc this post still stands