Im like if a goat was a beautiful girl

meowmeow mew meow Ezra // 19 // wlw she/he/fae

[hotgirlditzorder]

┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ . ࣪☾⭑ ┊ ┊ ┊ . ⋆ ۫ ┊ ┊ . ★.˚ ┊ . ˚☆ ࣪⊹ ˖ִ𑁤 get to know me! ִֶָ ༘⋆

˙⋆✮⋆˚࿔──────────.★..─╮

• I'm Ezra or Ez and I go by any pronouns ┊• I'm 19┊• Leo┊• i love snoopy, she-ra, crochet, beading, House MD, video essays, history, trinkets, hopecore, geneology, and the outdoors┊• I am a huge academia girly and I'm in my second year of college studying history and medicine! I also work 3 jobs┊• I'm a femme lesbian and I love to be #wuhluhwuh and a freak┊• I love my family and friends and girlfriend!!

─..★.──────────╯

˙⋆✮⋆˚࿔ ┈•┈★┈•┈ ╮

Context for my posts and things about me <3

★ I am disabled! I was diagnosed as Gifted in elementary school, with GAD, ADHD, neuroplastic chronic pain, chronic insomnia disorder, and depression in high school, and with ASD and Pica in college. My disabilities don't make up a huge part of my identity but they do affect my experiences!

★ I'm Jewish <3 my heritage and religion is very important to me and I love to learn about judaism and talk all about my experiences :3

★ I love to talk about whatever crosses my mind and I am very opinionated!

★ I use feminine words and descriptors usually, but I don't mind other ones :3

★ While I don't study it, I love to make art and I may post some of what I create sometime here. I am a poet, a beader, a crocheter, a colleger, and I am learning to draw and make prints!

★ I am non-monogamous which is why I will talk about my girlfriend and go on little dates ^-^ ★ My favorite history to study is what I like to call untold histories! It includes things that have been purposfully ignored, hidden, and seen as unimportant (like queer history, sex history, women's history), and things that have just been lost to time and new social norms and technologies (domestic history, social history, family history). Untold history, especially Victorian English social history and the history of sex and gender in Rome, is one of my biggest special interests!

★ I am Canadian :3

★ I am genderfluid but love love love being a femme girly girl and leaning into my blonde femme steryotype! I love The Last Dinner Party, Chappell Roan, Taylor Swift, Riot grrl, Sabrina Carpenter, Charli XCX, Ethel Cain, Lana Del Rey, Lorde, and a lot of older songs (not specific artists in that genre usually ^-^)

★ I have some typing quirks and word replacements that mimic how I speak! Feel free to ask me what anything means if you don't understand :3

┈•┈★┈•┈╯

Thank you so much for reading and I hope you have a wonderful day/night ˙⋆✮⋆˚࿔

[hotgirlditzorder]

asked my friend out cause she broke up with her boyfriend and she said yes! Yay Yippee yay!!

[hotgirlditzorder]

yes i do love school yes i do have a inate drive for learning yes i am curious yes i do want to know about that yes i do gaf yes i want to study everythong yes i will persue history and medicine yes you can follow your passions too yes university is for diving into something yes i am disabled yes it will be harder yes i will become a phd and a doctor anyways no i refuse to give up on what i love

[hotgirlditzorder]

i wanna study history as a job and medicine as a hobby but unfortunately i live in a world where only the reverse is possible

[hotgirlditzorder]

class registration is going to be the end of me fuck workday and fuck reserved seats I WANT TO STUDY EVERYTHING

[hotgirlditzorder]

Something something hypersexualized femme women not seen as gay and seen as only as doing things for laughs or male pleasure or artistic expression something

[hotgirlditzorder]

One time I went swimming and a fish nibbled my toes but no one in my family believed me when I told them so I went back to the lake and put my toes in to see if they would bite and they didn’t and to this day I am 10% convinced I made it up

[hotgirlditzorder]

as a reward for making it through this week, i get to pick and prod at my skin for 30 whole minutes!

[hotgirlditzorder]

checked my tumblr before bed and i had reblogs and notifs YAY. like i know im not supposed to care about that or whatever but like. idgaf im not going to perform not wanting acknowledgment of my ideas to show that im superior to all those 'lowly people who care about social media and followers'. like im not basing my whole worth on it, but i do care aout this stuff! i like to feel like my ideas are appreciated! im not going to act like i dont just to be more 'enlightened'!

[hotgirlditzorder]

bring back lesbian sex NOW

[hotgirlditzorder]

tumblr just suggested me "asexual community" HOW DOES IT KNOW IS IT STALKING ME???

[hotgirlditzorder]

i love scrolling through my girlfriend's pintrest board for me cause every post is so perfectly me coded they know me so well

[kosmogrl]

I can’t overshare because that would be very humiliating but everyone else should overshare because I like to know everything

[hotgirlditzorder]

A poem from my manuscript, because I have been grieving lately and sometimes posting feels like an elegy. cw for drug addiction and death, keep reading after the break if you can handle those topics today

171. T (2)

I imagine your body ravaged by the drugs. 

Sunken cheeks, hollow eyes,

Walking ghost already half dead. 

I imagine you miles from home,

Toronto, Ontario, Illinois,

In cold winter streets while I,

Warm under the light of my computer screen,

Offer my friend just one dose of my prescription medication. 

Feeling like a teenage dealer,

Feeling like you. 

I think of the fields where you used to play baseball,

And how we are no longer allowed to roam the surrounding woods,

Of your sister’s rage, her grief,

The graduation you never got to see

But I saw. 

She looked beautiful. 

I saw the inside of your mind,

The diagnosis we shared,

I use the past tense because I still see your ghost haunting me. 

Somewhere between sparkling and gaunt,

In the videos I see of people being taken off the streets,

Taken to recovery,

Taken back home. 

And T, one of them shared your name. 

And for just a minute, I allowed myself to hope,

The same way I do when I scan the hungry faces I pass by on the bus,

That maybe you aren’t dead after all.

[hotgirlditzorder]

yearning in the way only lesbians can rn

[hotgirlditzorder]

my friend is finally in wuh luh wuh!! i knew first btw :)

[hotgirlditzorder]

me when i say "i'm so bald" and people ask what i mean as if its not Obvious