Our environment can override our natural instincts. You can naturally think, feel, or behave in ways that are healthy for you, but if the people around you don’t understand those behaviors, they’ll often label them as wrong. Over time you begin questioning your own instincts and replacing them with beliefs that help you fit in instead of helping you thrive
A naturally curious child asks lots of questions. Adults call them “difficult,” so they learn to stay quiet
Someone enjoys spending time alone to recharge. Their friends call them antisocial, so they start forcing themselves to socialize even when they’re exhausted
A person has strong boundaries and says “no” when something doesn’t feel right. They’re labeled selfish, so they begin putting everyone else first
A child naturally expresses emotions. They’re told they’re “too sensitive,” so they learn to hide how they feel
Someone is excited about learning, reading, and growing. They’re teased for “thinking they’re better than everyone else,” so they stop sharing their interests
A child naturally trusts their gut when someone feels unsafe. Adults tell them, “Be nice,” so they learn to ignore their intuition
Someone prefers peace over drama. They’re called boring, so they start tolerating chaos just to feel accepted
A person is naturally ambitious and dreams big. Their environment says they’re unrealistic or arrogant, so they begin playing small
A child is naturally creative and imaginative. They’re constantly told to “be realistic,” and eventually stop creating
Someone naturally forgives but also walks away when they’re repeatedly hurt. Others call them cold or unforgiving, so they stay in unhealthy relationships longer than they should
The challenge isn’t always that your instincts are wrong. Sometimes they were simply interpreted through the lens of people who couldn’t recognize or value them. As we grow up, part of healing is learning to separate what is truly you from what your environment taught you to believe about yourself
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