Some of you maybe already know my main blog @shyerue !
I post a lot of stuff there too, but this is more of a personal interest blog, containing music, memes and maybe even some daily thoughts and other ceative outlets outside of writing fanfic for my main :D
Now for some facts:
Taurus Rising ♉️
ATEEZ Bias is Yeosang 💪🏽
Sleep Token fave is Ivy 🥀
Went to the London gig in December '24 and got Ivy's pick ! 💫
I haven't yet started customising my barbie (I literally just received her, and I'm a bit scared to start tbh lol), BUT I made her a little Sleep Token shirt. Or should I rather say she obtained some merch? 👀
It might be bc I haven't had a barbie in ages (and she's a tall barbie too) but have they always been so big? I could've sworn barbies used to be smaller. 🤨
what if i can't get up and stand tall? what if the diamond days are all gone? and who will i be when the empire falls? wake up alone and i'll be forgotten
Being a normal couple shouldn’t be this complicated...
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idol - Yeosang x fem!reader
genre: romance
content warnings: none
words: 3.6k
*everything is fictional, just for some distracting fun*
Reposts are super appreciated 🤍
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This is nice.
Finally, after days of rehearsals, I’m able to see her. Holding her hand, walking through the streets so casually, the lamp lights bathing her face with a soft glow. It’s not easy being out in public with her, the restrictions of my job making every moment a risk. But when I do - gosh, it’s so worth it. Behaving like a normal couple just makes me feel so free, and I know she really values this time. She’s so understanding of my career, I feel like I need to make sure I repay her with those mundane moments whenever I can.
“Do you wanna go to an arcade?” Her eyes are dreamy, sparkling with the kind of peace I know I can never give her enough of. I can tell just how much this normalcy means to her.
I squeeze her fingers. “Anything you want, sweetheart.”
“Yay! Oh there’s this super cu-“
“Yeosang?” An excited voice interrupts her. “Oh my gosh, you are Yeosang, aren’t you!”
Y/n’s hand snaps out of mine in a millisecond, out of habit.
I clear my throat, forcing my head back into the right space. “Hi!” I smile at the fan as genuinely as I can, my mind anchored on y/n’s presence beside me, making sure she doesn’t slip away. “It’s nice to meet you!”
The girl is fumbling for her phone, pulling up the camera app. “Can I… can I take a photo with-“ she stops abruptly, noticing y/n for the first time. “Oh… Am I interrupting?” Her voice is tentative but curious, and it throws me off.
“Hmm…”
“No!” y/n jumps in before I can respond. “I’m just staff, we’re coming back from a schedule.” She’s pulled this act so many times it’s almost routine - cheerful, unbothered, convincing. But I see the slight tremor in her smile, the way her eyes flicker down for just a second, and it guts me every time. I hate seeing her have to do this to save my reputation.
“Oh, okay! Then, would you mind taking a picture of us, actually?” She hands her phone to y/n. Her reluctance is barely perceptible, but I know her too well. Even that single frozen beat before she takes it makes my chest tighten. I want to refuse, to protect her from this tiny, invisible humiliation — but what am I supposed to do? Throw away my entire career? Compromise my bandmates, my company? I can’t. So, I smile, pose, and thank the fan for her support.
She leaves, and the air turns heavy between us. There’s no way y/n will want to continue our date now, and I can’t blame her. I can’t blame myself either, it’s just part of the package.
I love my job, but I had no idea how much I would loathe this part when I signed on. How could I? You hear stories, but until you live it, you can’t understand just how torturous that is. How could a seventeen-year-old grasp the freedom he was signing away, when all he saw was the glory and fame?
“What do you want to do?” I ask softly, cautiously moving towards her. People might be watching now - they always are. Once one person notices, everyone suddenly does, as if fame lights a beacon over your head, no matter whether or not they know who you are.
Her shoulders are slumped, defeated. Another failed date.
“Let’s just go back. We can watch a movie or something.”
I nod, quietly accepting it. We walk, taking the long way around the block to avoid suspicion. Another detail to manage. My mind is always on high alert, solving problems before they appear. There’s a reason I stay quiet so much — if I don’t say or do anything noticeable, the risks aren’t so great.
I graze my fingers against hers, a quiet invitation. She opens her hand slightly, brushing mine for a second, giving me hope — but she’s too scared now. Her hand leaves mine in the cold, crossing over her chest like armour.
It doesn’t take much to rebuild her walls, and that one moment was more than enough.
I know how her mind works. She’s not even worried about herself - she’s worrying about me, about what people might say, how it might reflect on my group, on my image. My heart squeezes at the thought, and I look away before she sees my face.
I’m supposed to protect her, not the other way around.
We get back to my car in silence, one that continues even after I’ve pulled out of the car park.
“Y/n…” I start, not sure what I even want to say. “I’m sorry.”
She shakes her head lightly, squeezing my hand - though it feels like it’s squeezing my heart instead.
“You don’t have to be sorry. This is your job. I knew what the stakes were before we even started dating.” She chuckles lightly. “Do you think I became your health coach because I thought it’d be easy?”
My unease lifts slightly, my lips curving up. “Still, let’s face it - this sucks.” I bring her hand to my lips, lingering in her softness, and I feel the tension melt away from her. “I promise you, this evening is going to redeem itself. I’m gonna cook you a delicious meal, and we’re going to watch your favourite movie, on the couch, just you and me. No one to bother us.”
She smiles a genuine smile. “Sounds perfect. Although, no offence but I’d rather we order takeout. I love you but your cooking sucks.”
My laughter comes out of its own accord. “I can’t even pretend to be offended.”
After a few minutes of joking around, we’re back at my dorm and the mood feels lighter, less tense.
“I’ll call for takeout and you can choose what to watch.” I say to her when we get back inside.
“Ooh, so I get full control over what we’re watching, you don’t even get a say?” She wiggles her eyebrows in mischief. “That means you can’t complain if I’m putting on Goblin again.” She places a soft peck on my lips before turning around, practically jumping.
“But we’ve watched this like twenty times now…” I protest half-heartedly, just to humour her.
“Uh-uh -“ her voice is coming from the other room, “- no complaining!”
My head hangs in quiet resolution, just happy she’s regained her spark.
I place our order and join her on the couch. She instantly puts her phone down and snuggles into me, finding the perfect spot where her body fits into mine like pieces of a puzzle. My fingers start playing with her hair. She sighs, content, knowing we can do whatever we want here.
I place a kiss on her forehead and go to grab the remote when she looks up at me, worry written across her features.
“Do you think she knew?”
I should have known this was still playing on her mind.
“I stepped away from you super quickly but what if she still saw? Or what if she had a friend somewhere who filmed your encounter? Or even a stranger who got it on camera? Are… are we being too relaxed and careless about this? Should we even go out in public together? What if your boss finds out and gets mad!”
She’s fully sat up now, her mind racing. Her words are coming out as quickly as her thoughts form, an endless vicious cycle.
“Sweetie, it’s okay. She didn’t see. No one saw us. And nothing’s going to happen - to me, you or my career.” I take her hands in mine. Her pulse is racing as I massage circles on her wrists in an attempt to soothe her. “Everything’s okay.”
She looks down, dejected. “You can’t know that…”
I grab her chin and force her to look me in the eye. “You’re right, I don’t. But worrying about maybes won’t change whether or not someone saw us. Whatever happens, we’ll deal with it when the time comes.”
I engulf her in my arms, as though I’m protecting her from the outside world.
“I just don’t want to be the reason your life gets ruined.” Her words come out muffled.
I squeeze her a little tighter. “You’re not. And you won’t. Ever. You’re part of the reason my life is so amazing.”
I tilt her face up to mine and place a soft kiss on her lips. She hesitates a moment, surely still overthinking. I caress her cheek, weaving my fingers in her hair, and she finally melts into me, humming quietly. Her lips taste like home - peach and vanilla. I pull her waist closer to me, deepening the kiss until the world outside the two of us disappears. This is the only place I feel untouchable, where no one can question what we are. Her hand settles on my chest and my muscles contract at her featherlight touch. I shift on the couch, adjusting our position so she can rest on top of me. She presses her hips into mine and I groan, feeling the blood rushing down.
My hand slides under her shirt, feeling her lower back, when the doorbell rings.
I pull away from her, my head falling against the couch with a dramatic sigh. “Of course…”
“Saved by the bell.” She laughs, her lips pressed together.
She gets up, taking her warmth with her. I watch as she jogs to the door, her hair swaying left to right.
I rest my head back on the couch, arm over my eyes, trying to will the blood to circle through my body again.
When she trots back in, she’s carrying two steaming bags, and my stomach suddenly wakes up. I welcome it, just glad my brain is focusing on something else.
The mood has shifted back now, but I don’t care. I’m just happy to see her devour her food, happy and satisfied.
“Let’s focus on someone else’s problems now.” She says, turning on her show.
“Wow, I wonder what could possibly happen to them!” I say, mocking.
She slaps my arm. “No, I said no complaining!”
“Fine.” I hold out my hand. “Pass me my chicken please.”
She shakes her head, cheeks full — she looks like an adorable chipmunk. “Uh-uh. Not until you admit this is the best show ever. And I want you to mean it!”
A grimace forms on my face. “Do I have to?” Her eyebrow is raised. I know that if I don’t oblige, I can kiss my fried chicken goodbye. “Fine. Goblin is the best show to ever exist.” She looks at me expectantly. “And Gong Yoo sunbaenim is the most handsome man on the planet.”
She claps her hands together. “Damn right he is!” I finally get my chicken as she kisses my cheek. “Don’t worry, I still love you.”
A smile forms on my face instantly and I try to not show it. “Oh well, that’s okay then I guess.”
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I have a surprise!
Ooh, tell me more…
Oh no, I can’t, that would ruin the surprise.
Sangie, why would you tell me you have a surprise if you’re not gonna say anything else?
Alright.
I’ll tell you this:
Tonight. 7pm. Be ready for me to pick you up.
Can I get a hint for the outfit?
Hmm…
Come on, pleeeease!
Dress cute.
That’s helpful…
I can pick out an outfit for you if you’d like!
God no, I’ll figure it out myself, thanks.
Ouchie
You’ll live ;)
…
Can’t wait to see you tonight <3
Me too <3
I stare at the screen a little longer than I need to, smiling to myself. This time, I’m going to make sure nothing ruins it.
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My heart is racing as I step to her door, flowers in hand. I’ve never been so bold with our dates, but I want to make it all up to her - all the stress, all the embarrassment.
She deserves to have at least one amazing date.
I knock on her door, take a deep breath and roll my shoulders back. I'm just happy I'm getting to see her and spend time spoiling her tonight.
She opens the door and my heart skips a beat. She looks stunning in a cotton jumper and suede skirt, the earrings I got her last month glimmering in the light of the hallway. I keep staring for another beat before she clears her throat.
"Hello? Yeosang?"
I shake my head. "Huh? Oh - right. Hi. You look beautiful." I take the flowers out from behind my back. “For you." Her face lights up and she eagerly takes them from me, smelling the soft orange roses and white baby's breath.
"Sweetheart they're beautiful, but you really shouldn't have!"
I scoff dramatically. "Are you kidding? What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn't bring my gorgeous girlfriend flowers?"
A soft giggle fills the air. "Let me put them in water quickly I'll be right back."
She goes back inside whilst I stand at her door, too nervous to come in. She emerges after a couple of minutes, armed with a coat and scarf.
"Can you tell me where we're going now? What are we doing? Did I dress okay?" Her fingers are drumming against her thigh as I drive to our secret destination.
"I can't say. That would ruin the surprise. And yes, sweetheart, you dressed perfectly, as always."
She tells me about her day as I continue driving, passing by bustling stores and sparkling streetlights. We're in the middle of a very crowded area now, and I thank my manager for insisting on getting me tinted windows. It's not uncommon to drive here, but people are always curious when they see a big car coming through, and my Range Rover is not helping.
I feel y/n get a little tense next to me and give her hand a reassuring squeeze.
"Don't worry, they can't see us. We're not staying here, we just have to drive through it."
She looks more relaxed but my heart is still pounding. I don’t like the risk I'm taking, but it's only for a few seconds, although it feels like an eternity.
At last, we make it through the crowd and I drive another few minutes, up a set of winding streets going up a hill - one of the many wonders of Seoul.
She sits up and looks around, curious. "I've never been here before, how do you know this area?"
"I haven’t either." I confess. "Wooyoung told me about it."
I park the car behind a little house, and get out to open her door. She looks at me, brows furrowed in confusion.
"Where the hell did you take us? Did you get lost?"
I laugh. "Nope. This is the place!"
The house looks lacklustre from the outside, but that's exactly why I chose it.
"Do you trust me?"
She nods. "Of course. I'm just really intrigued by what we're doing..."
I lace my fingers in hers. "Let's go in and you'll find out."
I guide her through to the front of the building, opening the door to reveal a beautiful family run restaurant. The decorations are all reminiscent of Korean history, some rare artefacts dating back to the end of the Joseon dynasty. A woman welcomes us with a warm smile and guides us to our table, where a dozen candles have been lit for us.
I called ahead and requested to book the entire place to ensure maximum privacy. The mundane looking restaurant is away from the popular areas, and the small windows reduce the likelihood of someone seeing us, but I couldn’t take any chances.
I look at her, eyes sparkling in the flickering candlelight, their soft glow bathing her face in an ethereal mix of gold and orange hues. She looks resplendent.
“You’ve outdone yourself Sangie, this is absolutely perfect. I never thought we could have such a normal date, but this… thank you.”
The sincerity in her words is palpable, and my heart warms at the sight of her happiness.
“I’m so glad you think so. That’s all I ever wanted to give you: normalcy. The chance to be just an average couple with me. I rented the place out to avoid any issues so I know it’s not exactly like a real proper date but-”
“I love it.” She grabs my hands. “I can’t believe you rented out the whole place....” she whispers, like speaking too loudly might shatter the magic.
A genuine smile stretches on my face. “It’s nothing,” I say - but it’s not nothing. It’s the only way I know how to give her a normal night.
“You’re going to love it even more when you find out the place’s specialty.” I give my eyebrows a wiggle for emphasis. “Jigae. Woo swears it’s the best he’s ever had. Has that ‘homely, Tuesday night at grandma’s feel’. His words.”
She chuckles. “Coming from him that’s high praise. Alright then, let’s see if that jigae lives up to its name.”
I give the woman our order, asking for a bottle of wine to go along with it. I’m not much of a drinker but this feels like a date to celebrate.
The evening moves along in absolute perfection. We talk, eat and laugh to our hearts’ contents, forgetting all about the outside world.
I’m so thankful that I managed to do this for us, and I spend the whole dinner trying to capture this moment in my mind.
No cameras.
No fans.
No shadows.
Just her.
And maybe that’s why, for the first time in a long time, I let my guard drop. Maybe that’s why I let myself bathe in our privacy.
We’ve devoured our plates, bellies full and spirits loosened from the wine and sheer happiness.
She’s glowing — God, she’s glowing — and I feel something inside me loosen.
I want this.
I want this more than I’ve ever wanted anything.
A life where I don’t look over my shoulder.
A life where I don’t flinch every time someone passes a window.
A life where I don’t have to let go of her hand just because footsteps echo too close.
I squeeze her hands in mine, not wanting to let her go. But it’s not enough.
I stand and circle the table to her side. She looks at me with those beautiful sparkling eyes, full of promise, and I can’t help myself. I grab her chin and lean in, not just for a kiss, but for a way to say how much I love her in a way I know my words could never explain.
“I love you” I whisper, my breath making the hair around her face flutter.
“I love you too.” She bites her lip, in that way she does when she’s flustered and doesn’t know how to hide her excitement.
All of a sudden, I hear a noise outside. My heart skips.
“What was that?” She asks, her voice cold and shaking, our bodies rigid.
We’re both holding still, trying to hear something, anything. Maybe we imagined it. I hope we did.
Then it happens — a flash of a camera, a tiny movement in the window.
They found us.
“How!” I snap. “My windows are tinted, I took us the long way around, this place is in the middle of nowhere, looks like a normal house, I even booked it out… HOW?”
A small voice emerges from the ringing in my ears. “Yeosang…”
I look back at y/n to see her eyes welling up in panic, her body trembling, and something in me snaps.
I can't do it anymore.
I've tried to hide us, tried to be careful, tried to protect her from all this, but tonight... Tonight is enough.
They can go after me all they want, but I won’t let them make her feel that way. I chose this, she didn’t.
I put the money on the table, and grab my coat and mask.
“Yeosang what are you doing? We can’t leave, there’s no back door here.” She pauses a moment, seeing my confusion. “I… asked when you went to the toilets earlier…”
I swallow the incessantly growing lump in my throat.
Of course she asked if there was a back door. Because how could I possibly make her believe that she was actually safe here with me.
“We’re not going through any backdoor.” I point to the main entrance. “We’re leaving through there.”
The colour drains from her face. “You can’t be serious. You’re making us go out into the lion’s den? This is madness! No, Yeosang, we can’t.”
I cup her face in my hands and bring my forehead to hers.
“I know I asked you earlier, but I need to ask you again. Do you trust me?”
A silent tear falls down her eye, ripping my heart open more than I ever thought possible.
“I do.” Her voice comes out quiet, full of fear, but I know she means it.
I release a shaky breath. My heart is racing, but I need to do this. It’s my turn to protect her now, and this is how I’m going to do it.
I used to think fame meant being seen. Now I know it means never being invisible — even when all you want is to disappear for a while.
I put one hand on the door, grabbing hers firmly with the other. I give it a reassuring squeeze, one that tells her I’ve got her now, and it’s all going to be okay.
I take a deep breath, letting the importance of what I’m about to do sink in, before I set my jaw and open the door to a sea of flashes and screams.
No more hiding.
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