J O R D I N

[daiiku]

Ilya : you like them?

Shane : yeah.

Ilya : girls.

Shane:

[catchymemes]

[dankxsinatra]

[drtanner]

The cat is so stoked to be there??? What a little star. 💜

[aureate-melodies]

*oct 13th, 2025, Ottawa*

Ilya, in the living room on his phone: Shane everyone keeps tweeting us because these gay YouTubers came out

Shane, from somewhere in the house: DAN AND PHIL?

[snap-crackle-cunt]

yuna: how long have you two been dating?

ilya: uh. like. one spoonful of pasta ago. you were there. we have been fucking for like a decade tho

[judblanc]

[pulsingvoid]

[themoonandmyman]

Every time I see this image

I can’t help but think of this

[1410-1221-dec2008]

[academicblorbo]

Yuna and David asking about the timeline of their relationship would have been even funnier if, after discussing how long they've been "lovers":

Yuna: ok, so you've been "seeing" each other for 9 years... And when did you confess your real feelings and decided to be together?

Shane:

Ilya:

Yuna:

David:

Shane:

Ilya: like, today at 4am

[jazzyyy81]

[finelytaylored]

“can’t believe you treat your gf like this Hollander 😔” has me crying lmao please someone write this

[bambicoded]

it's important to me that ilya remains captain of the centaurs after shane joins, but i have a specific picture in my mind of shane being assistant captain and being generally harmless and super chill , so the centaurs see him as like the chill parent (something to be said about shane being content in letting someone else, specifically His Someone, have the reins and enjoying not being in charge) but then ilya has to be out for a few weeks for like health or smth so shane goes into Captain Mode and the centaurs are scared shitless by how intense he gets all of a sudden. the most intense drills of all time. the hardest plays they've ever heard of. the strictest practices on earth. and they suddenly understand why shane led the metros/voyagers to victory so many times and why ilya treats him like the boss in their relationship. and then as soon as ilya comes back he turns it off and the centaurs are like Oh Thank Fuck Because What The Hell Was That

[dogpuppy]

[one-two-two-one]

My attempt at Heated Rivalry text/tweet/tumblr edits 16/?

Image descriptions and text for accessibility below the jump:

1. Image description: Ilya sitting in a chair facing the bed that Shane is sitting on in Ilya’s Vegas penthouse hotel suite

Text [by sexploshin on tumblr]: Somewhere between fuck you and I’d fuck you

Nested text reply [by aryanightshade on tumblr]: somewhere between ‘go fuck yourself’ and ‘no wait let me do it’

2. Image description: Ilya smirking while drinking out of his water bottle in the hotel gym

Text [by mlm-werewolf on tumblr]: I see no reason why I can’t be both the love interest and the antagonist

3. Image description: Shane straddling Ilya on the cottage couch while Ilya has his right hand down the front of Shane’s shorts

Text [by iamcardib on Twitter]: I want some Dick-fil-A 🙃

4. Image description: Shane wearing a suit and glancing at his mom (not pictured) on draft day

Text [by ouroborosmotifs on tumblr]: what was that? I was so busy making normal human gestures to show I was listening that I wasn’t able to actually listen

5. Image description: Shane asleep while Ilya faces him with his hand resting on Shane’s forehead

Text [by holyscum on Twitter]: i’m in love with this guy, but it’s none of his business

[themoonandmyman]

In reality in canon, cliff marleau is probably either indifferent or low-key homophobic but in my heart of hearts he’s wearing a t shirt that says ‘I’m with faggot’ and Ilya is wearing a t shirt that says ‘faggot’ and they’re both at Boston pride.

[rylandsgrace]

#The return of the shane stance 🧍

[swannscroft]