Taggy Sits

[sailermoon]

huge shout out to this little kid for writing my favorite poem

[whoznoah]

The agony of thinking you’re finished doing the dishes only to turn around and to your horror: the pot.

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[baitydraws]

Sun, Moon and Stars.

[regionalatbest]

i think that the "i do not control the ____" memes are generally tame and do not lend enough credence to the genuine absurdity of the original line that is

[ifitaintbaroque]

I work at a coffee shop and have gotten all my co-workers to start calling lattes “hot milkybois”

[ifitaintbaroque]

I also got everyone to refer to the salted caramel blended drink as “the big salty” and I consider it one of my greatest accomplishments

[ifitaintbaroque]

Oh yeah and any time someone orders a hazelnut latte with almond milk (which specifically is a weirdly popular drink) I say “one HOT NUT latte coming right up!”

My coworkers have not latched on to this one like they did with the others for some reason.

[ifitaintbaroque]

I forgot to mention I also pronounce “hot chocolate” like “hot cocklate”… because I’m awful.

[goatbran-deactivated20190407]

please give us updates

[ifitaintbaroque]

Our largest drink size is affectionately referred to as “Texas Size” so sometimes when I hand it out in the drive-thru I like to say, “Here’s that TEXAS SIZE [drink] for ya, YEEEEHAW!”

And some people look at me as though I have just made their entire day while others look like they they could not possibly get away from me soon enough. Both reactions are equally satisfying. 

[ifitaintbaroque]

I made this into a game except when I hand out the Texas-size drinks I say “Can I get a YEEHAW?” And the guests always look mortified but occasionally one of them will let out a terrified “yeehaw” and all my coworkers cheer and then we keep a running tally of how many yeehaws we each get on the back of a pastry bag.

[antique-scarecrow]

op will not die of natural causes

[ifitaintbaroque]

That’s the most interesting comment anyone has ever left on one of my posts

[chamomilegeode-deactivated20221]

when i worked in a coffeeshop, and ppl ordered hazelnut syrup and almond milk together, i got my coworkers to call it a “bofa” drink

[youngstero]

I’m at a wealthy middle-aged christmas party with my best friend a woman came up to me and said “you have to try the gouda” and I said “is it firm?” and she said “yes I wouldn’t have anything less” and we both threw our heads back and laughed and I’m still not sure why

[rosalui]

wheres that pic from parks and rec. you all know the one

[meso-mijali]

[rosalui]

yES

[unclefather]

[peoplegettingreallymadatfood]

[howlsaidfuck]

i’m alive

[selierynn]

[stream]

SCOOBY-DOO (2002) dir. Raja Gosnell

[kingsleyyy-deactivated20160914]

shoutout to the people who text me first, hit me up with plans, or check up on me from time to time 

y'all a real one

[mjalti]

I just crave being alone but like ..with someone else there too

[reallyreallyreallytrying]

sure. blame the guy who’s a huge idiot who causes a lot of problems, again

[honted]

society needs shame. if you dont embarrass weird greasy kids in high school they turn into adults who walk their girlfriends around on dog leashes in the mall

[talkupditings]

Nothing wrong with that as long as there’s Mutual consent

[rubyfruitnb]

did you know that bystanders literally do not consent to being a part of public sexual displays

[howlsaidfuck]

Can anyone see this post?