Chronicles of my time spent on Howrse.com

Although I fill my howrse forum with all sorts of bullshit, I always feel restricted there. So I made this tumblr, to chronicle my howrse adventures while swearing like a sailor and making inappropriate jokes about my dead relatives.

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Awwww yeeeeaaaahhh!!

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Woah... Slow down there, Hitler. 

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Greedy little piece of shit!  You think bottom-row candy just grows on fucking trees?!? Is that what you think!?!?!? Get the fuck outta here!

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Uh... What the fuck did I just say?

I fear this may be prophetic...

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Obtaining Wandering Horses by removing pegasus wings......

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My first golden apple on Australian Howrse.  Of course I was delighted to see some of the long-retired ones from the International Server have taken much longer to retire here...

I recall seeing this awesome snail-horse many months ago in the sales on International Howrse, and thinking, “Holy shit! I want that thing so god damn bad!” But alas... it was not within my grasp.  I’ve finally obtained it...

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I love forum games about avatars for this exact reason. 

(And no, I am not making fun of either of these players. I censored their names, but they didn’t do anything wrong. I’m laughing that the situation, not the people involved.)

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“Wonderful! 0 horseshoes have been found...”  Wow... We really failed big time...

But wait; there’s more!  “You’ve gained an advantage towards getting Cancer!!”  Pretty harsh punishment, Howrse... Giving us cancer just because we didn’t find any horseshoes...

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What... the fuck?  

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Finally remembered that I had pass seeds in my inventory. Now they are growing. ^_^

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What a fuckin’ trip!

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Finally got some orange seeds. ^_^  I’ve decided to spend some passes on this promo so I can actually win it.  I had 54 saved up and just spent 15 to get those three orange seeds harvested and my divine plant to 63%.  I won a Hestia’s gift, Harmony pack, and Themis’ Scale with the orange seeds.  Hooray!  I love this promo. It reminds me of the christmas tree one, only better, as I can work on five different plants at once, but am not suffering through the frustration of searching for specific ornaments.

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I couldn't resist buying this guy, because I’ve never had to “tame” a horse on Howrse.  She’s my first “wild.”  Though I’ll admit I have no fucking idea what I’m doing, it’s always fun to try something new. (or something that’s new to me.)  She’s also super-cute.

I renamed her Arthur Dent... I love that she “refuses to obey me.”  Question that authority, Arthur Dent! You know how it is. You go, girl!!

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!  The babydow cat!  All the fucked up memories come flooding back...

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Sorry I made you fall to your death, Ow.  35m isn’t a high score, but it certainly is a long way to fall..

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Made *ANOTHER* mistake, huh? What’d the little fucker do this time?  Ow, you shouldn’t run from your mistakes...

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!  Maintenance games!!