CAN U NOT ツ

Sometimes it almost feels like nothing has ever happened to me at all, which I guess is the point of me inking these words. To remember. JULIENNE BAUTISTA. Derping since 1998. Disclaimer Hugotables Not so personal Le Face Facebook

[hoyfuture]

BABALIK AKO PRAMIS WAIT LANG TATAPUSIN KO LANG TONG SHITS KO

[hoyfuture]

Let me tumblr for a while bc too lazy for acad shits :)))

[hoyfuture]

I just can't find time for this anymore. I failed. Again.

[coffeesunset-deactivated2015080]

I’m not clingy, i’m not that sweet, i won’t talk to you if you don’t do the first move, i won’t say i miss you even if i really do. Outside of me is heartless, but if you look at me more closer, you could see the fragile heart inside of my body.

[hoyfuture]

Over time, my words have meant nothing more than a vague shout into the void. So I guess this would be my last post, for now. I realized some words are better left inked, or maybe some just need not to be publicized at all. So I'm going to stop hitting these keys and pick up my pen and my not-so-fancy notebook. I will come back though. I will come back right after I find myself scrambling the right phrases on a scrawny paper. I will come back when I don't have to second-guess myself in everything I want to say anymore. Because like every other diary I had, I couldn't keep this one too. I won't be gone for long. Until then, everyone :) PS. Nothing happened.

[hoyfuture]

I hope that even if we don’t end up together, even in old age or in darkness, you’ll speak well of me. Please do even when you think about the time I made fun of you, the time I didn’t laugh at your jokes, the time I didn't say I like you too. I hope that in spite of all this, you’ll speak well of me and I hope that it’s with a smile. The kind of smile that hides a little something at the corners. The kind of smile that people will ask you what you are smiling at. And you won’t be able to tell them. A memory. A beautiful memory. Me. And I know this is so cheesy but it’s the best I've got.

[hoyfuture]

It’s when you get hurt that you bleed, and when there’s blood there comes a wound, and wounds give way to scars. Perhaps the best thing about being hurt is that you get to get scars. You see, scars are medals branded onto our flesh. They are proof that you have withstood and endured something painful, otherwise you won’t be around to bare them. Scars boast of the pain once quelled. Scars speak more loudly than the sword that have caused them. Every scar is the mark of a lesson learned. Every scar defines ourselves. And I think it’s the most beautiful thing – us and our scars.

[hoyfuture]

I wanted us to be a novel. Novels are long. Novels are complex. Novels are long term commitment. But we we’re just a short story. A page. A paragraph. A typed word. We meander about, going nowhere. We we’re a short story, and we are as yet unpublished.

[siopaochx-deactivated20130522]

[baekebyan]

Marry a man who loves Jesus. Who loves God before he even knows that you exist. A man who falls to his knees, with tears in his eyes and hands held high, without a care to the world watching him. A man who knows that God is the best foundation in your relationship. A relationship that brings you each other closer to Him.

The man who loves Jesus will respect you. He’ll pursue you and treasure you. He won’t pressure you or control you, but gently walk beside you and lead you. He will appreciate you as the gift and beauty you are, and remind you of it every day. He will worship with you. He’ll pray for you and pray with you. He will lead you with strong hands, stand up when you can’t, but remind you that only God can satisfy.

[mariahfleur]

I’m praying to find such a man. But first I have to be the kind of woman that my man is looking for. I should not only pray and wait for God to give me the best husband-to-be but I also need to let God work in me and transform me to be the best wife-to-be.

To my future husband, know that I’m always praying for you. Though we may still be nameless and faceless to each other, I believe that God has already engraved our love story which is His story in our hearts. And when His perfect time comes, we will see our story unfolds and becomes a beautiful testimony that indeed true love exists.♡♡♡

[worshipgifs]

[worshipgifs]

For you!

[thacmis]

[hoyfuture]

Day 2: Nine things about myself

1. Future M.D

23 years old and a doctor. Akala ko dati hindi na to mangyayari pero sobrang bait talaga ni Lord. Yung tipong mas malaki pa yung binigay niya kesa sa hinihingi ko. Kaya ngayong August, nasa Intarmed na ako. Nao-overwhelm parin ako sa idea na after 7 years lang tupad na pangarap ko. Hep hep hooray labyu Lord times 300.

2. Ebribadi prends

Ako yung taong kahit sino kaya kong kausapin or kaibiganin. Kahit gangster ka o pipi ka o sa kabilang mundo ka pa galing at kahit pa halatang wala kang pake sakin, dadaldalan kita. Kahit sa umpisa, hindi ako shy-type. Siguro confident lang, or conceited hehe. Sobrang makwento ko at oo na FC na din paminsan.

3. Havey ako

Kahit ako lang nagsasabi, havey ako. Mahilig kasi ako magjoke at lahat ng joke ko havey. Magkapigsa sa singit ang hindi sumang-ayon. Magaling din ako kumanta, sumayaw, magdrawing at magluto. Ang galing ko talaga magjoke. Ha ha. Maging pigsa ang hindi makagets nito. Dagdag havey points din sakin yung pagkwento ko with sound effects like huhu i cri bushing bushing.

Kalimitan nagugulat din yung mga tao sa personality ko. Siguro hindi nila ineexpect na kalog ako, kasi siguro akala nila puro aral ako. i cri ulit.

4. Maldita

Hindi naman sa literal. Sabihin nalang nating hard ako at sobrang prangka ko. Straightforward level 9999. Minsan nakakatawa, minsan nakakasakit na din pala. Pero ang alam ko, naappreciate yun ng tropa sakin. Ayoko kasi ng patweetums. Nagpapakatotoo lang. Although medyo clingy din ako. Ang gulo ko anobato.

5. Christmas lights

Amaze na amaze talaga ako sa christmas lights lalo na yung kulay blue na hindi patay-sindi. Hindi ko din alam kung bakit. Ang weird -_- Nung bunutan sa school nung pasko may wishlist kami. Ang nilagay ko 'Blue christmas lights', ang binigay sakin blue blouse. Huhu thank you pa din =)

6. Libro

Mahilig ako magbasa ng novels. Novels hindi pocketbooks. May mini library kasi sa bahay kaya bata palang nasanay na ko. Minsan tatambay lang ako sa bookstore tas iniisip ko kung ano mga bibilhin ko pag nagkapera na ako o kaya magddownload nalang ako ng ebook para libre haha. Nag-iinit din dugo ko pag may istorbo sa pagbabasa ko.

7. Notes

Mahilig ako magsususulat ng kung ano ano. Minsan sa resibo ng Mcdo, minsan sa tissue o kaya sa kamay ng katabi ko. Kadalasan mga english at tagalog rants ito. Sa pagsusulat at pang-iinsulto ko kasi pinapakita yung paglambing ko (yak ang harot). Kaya minsan may mga notes na 'ingat ka' 'wag papalipas' 'wag mo ko masyado mamiss' na sinusuksok ko sa mga bag ng mga kaibigan ko.

8. Excellent Stalking skills

Hindi ako natatahimik hanggat hindi ko nalalaman ang LAHAT. Stalker ako pero hindi naman yung creepy. At usually may malalim na dahilan kung bakit ako nang-iistalk, hindi lang dahil crush ko or anything. Minsan kahit hindi na ako makahinga at parang hinahampas na ako ng dos por dos sa baga sa mga nalalaman ko, go parin. Ewan ko ba ang sadista ko. Hindi ko rin naman mapigilan. Kung may ipapastalk kayo, TA niyo lang ako.

9. Medyo Loner

Oo marami akong kaibigan, pero I don't mind being alone. Alone but not necessarily lonely, charut! Dinedate ko sarili ko once in a while. Keri kong gawin ang mga bagay-bagay mag-isa. Strong girl, independent type. Wag lang ako makakita ng jejemon kundi magkakasakit ako. OA haha.

[psychegelic-deactivated20221115]

I wonder if someone writes about me.

[blueztar]

what to tell them

tell them you’re okay when you’re okay. tell them you’re okay when you’re not. tell them you’re okay all the time. tell them you’re okay.

[hoyfuture]

Because sometimes, when things get broken, little pieces get lost. And no matter how much you want to put it all back together, there will always be that gap. Some things just can't be fixed.

[hoyfuture]

When you wish upon a star, you're already a few million light years late. That star is dead. Just like your dreams.

[boldrisks]

Maybe I love too much and maybe I show it too little.

R.M. (via gwymelove)