i’m gonna sob look at KENMA
Jules of Nature
Keni
Misplaced Lens Cap

⁂
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Sweet Seals For You, Always
Sade Olutola
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
RMH
Three Goblin Art
Show & Tell

Andulka
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
todays bird
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
will byers stan first human second
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
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@hq-crew
i’m gonna sob look at KENMA
Senpai Squared
A gift for the @hqrarepairexchange for @jeeejae
Enjoy - posted just in time for everyone’s favourite horned owl’s birthday (20/9)
~ Mod Kenma
For all of Nishinoya’s exuberance, no one would say he wasn’t an observant guy. In fact, quite the opposite. It was as if his golden eyes were always watching, sizing up everything and everyone he encountered. His gaze haunted that which it passed over, lingering like the echoes of distant thunder long after the storm moves on. Being caught by it directly felt a lot like staring straight into oncoming headlights.
It was dangerous.
It was powerful.
It almost made up for the fact he was barely five feet tall.
And Bokuto Koutarou remembers with vivid clarity the first time that gaze was levelled squarely on him.
He’d moved out to the quiet neighbourhood, approximately a three-hour train ride from his childhood home in the city, to help out his ageing grandfather. The stubborn old man refused the idea of going into a care facility and no amounts of assurances that Bokuto or his sisters would visit regularly, or that there’d be lots of nice nurses and other old people to bitch with – “Your favourite hobby Gramps!” – would change the man’s mind.
Bokuto, whose physiotherapy qualifications gave him the most chance of being employed in a rural setting out of the family (whilst also lacking stable employment or accommodation in the city), was deigned ‘Gramps Carer #1’ and dutifully packed his stuff for a move out to his grandfather’s home town. The move didn’t bother him nearly as much as it bothered the people around him – his grandfather had always been an interesting dude, and his friends were always bitching about some new problem with city life so now he could invite them out to experience suburbia. In Bokuto’s eyes, it was a win-win.
There was also, of course, the fact that the entire population of the town over the age of thirty seemed to love the idea of having a new Physio (fifty perfect because Thank God I’ve Had Back Problems Since the Winter of ’43, and fifty percent because A New Eligible Bachelor This Is The Most Exciting Thing That’s Happened to This Town Since the Yotsuha Scandal). It was kind of fun for Bokuto, being the centre of attention – it almost felt like being famous. Akaashi – his closest friend – warned him not to let it get to his head. Akaashi’s husband and Bokuto’s long time friend Kenma had helpfully offered “I can bring Mario Kart with us when we visit to bring him down a peg or two”.
We’re a little bit off course here – where were we going? Ah yes, Nishinoya!
Right, so Bokuto had moved into town - hunky, compassionate, stable job, and most importantly single - and every mother within striking distance has simultaneously taken on the shot-put world record with how quickly they've flung their offspring in his general direction. Bokuto, for his part, thought it was really nice that the ladies around town were worried he didn't have enough friends his own age when he moved here and were introducing him to their kids. When he told his grandfather this, the old man laughed so hard he nearly hacked up a lung.
Two such mothers were Mitsuri and Akane Nishinoya, who had cottoned on to the one thing many of the other mother were either wilfully ignoring or straight up didn’t see – how Very Much Into Men Bokuto was. Or, to quote Kuroo – Bokuto’s other long-time friend – “No straight man on Earth radiates that much He-Man energy, least of all He-Man himself”. This piece of information worked well for the two women, as it gave their son (their pride, joy, and absolute menace) a fighting chance. Now, they had to orchestrate a means to put said son in front of said Hunky Physio without alerting said son to the fact they were rather Unceremoniously Meddling in his love life, again.
If they’d known what was coming, they’d probably have gone to far less effort.
With that in mind, it might do us some good to actually sit with said son for a moment before the Inevitable Collision. If you’d asked Nishinoya Yuu what he’d thought of the new guy in town, he probably wouldn’t have known what you were talking about. Hey – I said he was observant when it was in front of him, never said he was in any way attuned to local knowledge. When the new arrival had become the talk of the neighbourhood women’s association, he’d been able to dismiss it as idle chatter. After all, the younger Tanaka’s wedding (my boy Ryu) was just long enough ago that they needed something new to fuel the gossip chain.
When it reached his aunt, who was delighted to blather on about how handsome and lovely this new physio was when she’d gone in for some dodgy knee pain, sure, he’d been a little bit annoyed – he relished being the Most Important Man in his spinster aunt’s life – but he could brush it off relatively easily. His aunt wasn’t always to be trusted regarding men, she thought the convenience store guy was “charming”, so Nishinoya told himself her opinions weren’t exactly what one would call ‘in Vogue’ (that is, if he knew what a Vogue was).
But when his own mothers warmly told him about how “helpful” this guy had been when he’d stopped by the store to pick up some plants and wound up being roped into moving some of the heavier pots for the displays, oh, now Nishinoya was Fuming™. Who did this mystery guy think he was? Why was everyone so utterly rapt with him? Was he out here to steal Nishinoya’s title as the town’s Third Hottest Eligible Bachelor? Was he – dread the thought – going for No. 1?
And that sunk it – Nishinoya didn’t know this dude, but he Did Not Like Him.
Now that we know where Nishinoya was at before the Inevitable Collision, it’s time to return to Bokuto and the moment the two finally managed to get a good look at one another. Mind you, by this stage they’d both managed to ‘see’ one another no less than four times either side and had even had an Awkward Urinal Conversation (which we will not dwell long for a few reasons, least of which is the author – lacking the need to use a urinal – shudders to think of what is discussed over them). But the first time the pair actually managed to sustain eye contact – and or have an Actual Not Urinal Conversation – was a warm, spring day. Bokuto stopped in to the Nishinoya Garden and Flower Emporium to see if he could pick up some new seedlings for his grandpa to give him something new to brag about to his neighbours.
Nishinoya (Yuu) was attempting to fill a very small pot using a very large bag of potting mix which – all variables being equal – was almost always a recipe for disaster. That said, I don’t know if you’ve ever worked in a quiet retail store before, but sometimes making an absolute mess can be a blessing in disguise if it’s particularly slow in the store because at least then you have something to do while you clean up your own mess. Nishinoya shared this sentiment so much that he’d already grabbed the broom, dustpan, brush and bin so that when either of his mothers eventually attempted to chide him for making a mess, he could say “But Ma, look, I’m already cleaning it up – I prepped and everything! I am the Plant Guardian, protector of the pots, nothing’ll happen while I’m here!” and they’d all laugh and leave him be.
Bokuto knew a grand total of None of This, so when he saw the cute flower shop dude (with the sick dye job – he totally had to ask later about it, maybe that would be his ‘In’, Kuroo always said you needed an ‘In’ to talk to hot people) struggling to heave a bag almost the same size as his tiny body while emptying its contents into a pot, naturally Bokuto jogged right over to help.
I’d love to tell you it was a beautiful wisp of a moment, where as Bokuto’s hands brushed Nishinoya’s the two boys finally made eye contact and it was as dramatic and beautiful as I said in the opening. The fact I’ve had to put that version of events here (not to mention that I’ve been calling it the Inevitable Collision) should probably give you a better hint of what actually went down – namely Bokuto himself, as he tripped on a small overturned pot on the way over.
Now if that were the end of it, if he’d just gone down like the sack of flour Akaashi always joked that he was whenever he tried to ask for piggyback rides, it may not have been so terrible. Awkward, sure, but not terrible.
But this is Bokuto Koutarou, the only person on Earth who must apply 110 percent to everything, even falling over. This manifested in a sequence of events as follows: Bokuto slammed his hand on the closest table to try and steady himself, but his hunky bodyweight and the strange angle of the attempted grapple meant that all he did was cause two of the table’s legs to give out from underneath it and, with it, pots of newly planted geraniums flew straight up (Yuu swears, to this day, that he heard the Ave Maria as these poor flowers sailed through the air) and shattered onto the floor. The seedling pots that were closer to the now-broken legs rapidly slid down the table towards aforementioned beautiful disaster Koutarou, dumping their contents onto his defeated horned-owl hair.
A beat of absolute, ungodly silence followed.
For those wondering, no, the two were not alone in the store. There was a couple being served by Akane Nishinoya which made Four Witnesses for the Worst Moment of Koutarou’s Life (So Far). I should clarify that he wasn’t actually injured by the fall, except from the fatal blow to his ego and his perceived chances with the cute plant-store employee.
Currently in the throes of what his best friend Akaashi would call a “low mood” and what Kuroo would call “AGONY” complete with dramatic shirt-ripping, Bokuto Koutarou looked up from the floor, covered in dirt and broken pottery pieces and the shame of a thousand suns and for the first time he met the dangerous golden gaze of one very baffled Nishinoya Yuu.
If you asked Bokuto Koutarou, he’d tell you – without flinching – that he knew in that moment that he wanted to spend the rest of his life keeping that gaze centred on him.
Because as Nishinoya’s eyes moved along his body, sunlight moved through Bokuto’s whole being – warm pinpricks that left him burning until they arrived back at Bokuto’s owl-like gaze. As their eyes met again, the gold in Nishinoya’s eyes melted into unbridled mirth.
A chuckle.
Then another.
And another.
And like the building of rain from droplets to a storm, suddenly Nishinoya Yuu was cackling so hard he dropped the large bag of potting mix and had to lean on the counter for support.
Bokuto Koutarou was in love. Nishinoya Yuu was having a hysterical workday.
“You should have seen it Shouyou! The pots went everywhere, this dude flipped a table and-and–”
“OOOOHHH! What did your moth-hey-wait-WHAT ABOUT NATSU’S SPECIAL POT!!”
“Don’t worry! Ma moved the ‘most prized artwork’ earlier this week to the orchid shelf! But Shouyou-this guy-I swear-”
Hinata Shouyou breathed out his relief – his sister would have been devastated had she discovered the art project pot she’d made and given to the Favourite Senpai Ever was a casualty of this bizarre new arrival into the store. Nishinoya was a good friend (one of the few people on Earth shorter than him, to his eternal delight) and an even better senpai – he’d made it his personal mission to keep an eye on both Shouyou and Natsu growing up.
As they sat in the bar that Hinata had been meaning to come back to just to stick out his tongue at the bouncer because well now he was old enough (hah!), Nishinoya had regaled his old school friends and anyone close enough to listen with the Tale of his Workday. A lot of Nishinoya’s old friends liked to joke that only Nishinoya possessed the storytelling skill to make a ten second encounter into a fable in four acts, which was best delivered to a rapt audience of underclassmen – it was almost a shame that Kageyama was overseas and Tsukishima and Yamaguchi had major assessments due. That left only Hinata who, don’t tell anyone, was Nishinoya’s favourite audience member because he had the best reactions. Nishinoya’s hiccupping guffaws chorused with Hinata’s excited crow noises and for a moment you’d really believe someone had let a murder of crows into a bar.
Hinata sat next to his senpai and undertook in perhaps one of his rarest past-times – he thought. Now that he was older and wiser (supposedly) he felt like he should help his senpai out. After all, he’d provided glowing references (didn’t matter for what – Nishinoya, it turns out, could hype Hinata to anyone for any reason at all) and helped him out with his homework (with support, not with content), so now they had managed to progress to being friends without the insurmountable Senpai Wall between them.
Nishinoya was still cackling, dissolving into fits of giggles with each mental replay of the scene, each detail that remained stuck in his mind’s eye. He gripped Hinata’s shirt, struggling to make coherent noises come out of his mouth between the choking gasps of truly chaotic amusement. The back of Nishinoya’s mind registered that wow Hinata had gotten really buff since his holiday in Argentina but was so stuck on this fUCKINGH LUNATIC oH My GoD that the preceding thought sunk back down into the recesses of his consciousness. Even Hinata couldn’t stop giggling at the sight of Nishinoya absolutely losing it and the two remained in a cycle of giggles.
“I almost wanna talk to the guy, y’know? Like what a dude.”
Oooh. The smallest seed of an idea planted itself in Hinata’s brain.
“I mean, I gotta give him a hard time for the table-pfft-and-the-” more giggles, followed by a deep shaking breath as Nishinoya attempted (he really attempted) to compose himself. “-but-anyway-I mean… Maybe he’ll be a bro, y’know, because man, I’m so proud of Ryu, but like, I miss him – am I allowed to miss him while he’s on honeymoon? ‘Cause I fuckinbg miss my bro-”
The seed germinated into a tiny sprout.
“-and if nothing else I need someone to help me find this New Guy – have I told you ‘bout the New Guy – don’t get me started Sho, this guy I don’t even get it who is he where did he come from-”
Now that was like Plant Steroid to Hinata’s growing idea. Unfortunately for Hinata he has the world’s worst poker face, so as the idea bloomed rapidly, the entire bar heard the excited crow screech.
“oooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH! Noya-noya-I’ll help you find the plant-guy!!! I’ll do it!!! I know who he is!!!”
“You DO!?! Why didn’t you say so Sho! C’mon! The night is young, let’s find this plant-killer!”
The two tumbled out of the bar with determination, but upon realising Nishinoya had an opening shift (where he was probably going to have to repair the damage done by the Plant-Killer) and Shouyou had training, they resolved to make a plan during the more reasonable daylight hours to find the mystery New Guy and befriend the walking disaster.
As the two parted ways, only one of them knew those were the same person. And so, Hinata’s Great Idea took root.
Hinata’s Great Idea could be broken down into four steps –
1. Bring Nishinoya and Bokuto together
2. Nishinoya and Bokuto bond!
3. Two Awesome Senpais!!!!!!
4. ???????????????? …kiss?
Point Four was…contentious. He decided to sort that out another day.
For now, he was focused on Point 1 – bringing them together. He already had Nishinoya on board, which meant he only needed the other half of the Brainless Beefcake Bundle (author’s words, not Hinata’s). Luckily for him, he sort-of-kind-of-had-definitely-spoken-to-maybe-once Bokuto which in Hinata’s books meant they were at least good enough friends to invite him to go for a run. The fizzy-drink bubbling sensation in Hinata’s chest when Bokuto agreed could be chalked up to the excitement of a new running buddy and not to whatever emotions lingered behind the question marks in Point Four.
Dawn’s soft light filtered through the trees, illuminating the last wisps of a misty morning. As the world was painted in purples, pinks and yellows, Bokuto could only focus on orange.
Bokuto was thrilled, confused, but thrilled, to be out running with the tiny orange blur. He’d encountered the blur in passing so it was nice to actually attempt to get a look at the face. He wasn’t making much headway though, because whenever he got close the orange blur made a frankly adorable little screeching noise and powered off. It was fun, though, the thrill of chasing after someone full tilt. Akaashi and Kuroo were both too busy to race him, and Kenma would honestly rather die than run. This sprinting, this chasing, was freeing. He’d forgotten how much he enjoyed this.
The blur was getting farther and farther away as Bokuto remained deep in thought. The blur made a confused wail, bobbing in the distance. Right! They were racing! Well if he wanted a race, let’s give him a race! Bokuto threw all his strength into chasing the blur, screaming all the way as he did. The cold air burned into his lungs as his steps pounded into the ground, one after another. He closed the distance between them, grinning ear to ear as he did. The blob wasn’t giving up without a fight and charged onwards, elated. The pair’s joyful screams echoed along the mountains and well into the sunny morning.
If you asked Bokuto what he remembered most from that moment about the blur he’d come to know as Hinata Shouyou, he would have said the instant he raced past him and spotted those wide, hungry brown eyes that watched him like they craved everything he had to give.
When Hinata had told Noya to just “leave it to me” regarding the Table-Flipping Menace, the expectation had been that the second meeting would occur somewhere neutral like a park or bar or even that boba tea store that Tsukishima had worked at over the summer and they’d all relentlessly teased him for.
Suffice to say Hinata’s apartment was not the expected middle ground. Not that Noya minded – Hinata’s apartment was bright, clean but well-lived in, and had lots of fun mementos from Hinata’s travels abroad. Noya felt a lot of fondness for the place, most recently because he’d been asked to house-sit for a three-month stint so it still registered in the back of his mind as ‘home’. It was all the little details that made it so undeniably Shouyou – posters from their school events together, one of Natsu’s artworks (framed, and signed by the artist herself), a chipped planter that Noya had picked out as a housewarming gift and had somehow managed to survive living here, dozens of foreign knick-knacks on a shelf that seemed to grow more and more strained with each sojourn around the world, and of course the photos. They covered a whole wall (right up to the ceiling too, and you could see which ones Kageyama had helped with and which ones Hinata had done with a ladder and gusto based on how crooked they were). Noya was proud to say he featured in a large portion of them, though the catalogue of his bad hair decisions was a little embarrassing.
When Noya turned up, snacks and drinks in hand, the only thing that looked decidedly out of place in Hinata’s apartment was one very confused Table Flipping Menace. The TFM hovered awkwardly, as if not sure where to sit or what he was allowed to touch – though the way his eyes darted as they tried to soak in the sheer magnitude of personality in Shouyou’s apartment screamed excitement. Noya knew it was the TFM because he’d never forget a haircut that cool – a mental reminder to talk to Sakeo about upping his ante – and because when the TFM’s eyes finally landed on him Noya had to fight the urge to giggle. The Ave Maria played on repeat in his head.
“Oh! Oh! Nishinoya-senpai! You’re here!!” Hinata bounded over, making sure to put Noya’s offerings down before throwing all his weight at him in a hug that was more collision than anything else. Noya crushed him close in return, squeezing Shouyou’s not-actually-scrawny-any-more body and something akin to a memory attempted to wriggle its way to the surface of Noya’s mind. Unfortunately, it took too long to dig itself up, because just after their hug finished, he heard “Bokuto-senpai!”
Nishinoya felt the recoil of that emotional slap to the face for about a week after this moment.
“Bokuto-senpai, this is Nishinoya-senpai! Nishinoya-senpai’s the coolest – he works at the plant store with his mums, you met them, they’re super nice, and he went to school with me and one time he an-”
“Hey hey, let’s not spoil all my good stories at once!” A quick ruffle to Hinata’s hair (despite the mock offense with which the gesture was received) and Noya finally got a good look at the monster of a TFM who was standing there.
Noya was used to tall people – no surprises there – but this guy exuded a completely different presence. Everything about him seemed to be screaming ‘look at me – I’m worth watching’, from the way that he moved (even awkwardly) to the way he spoke. He radiated an energy you couldn’t ignore. It wasn’t that ethereal, passive beauty that drew people in either – like Blessed and Holy Kiyoko-no, Tanaka-san, or God’s Gift to Humanity Sugawara Koushi – but it was something different. Something strange. Something Noya decided he’d add to the list of things he was going to work out (like ‘why they teach useless maths in school’ and ‘how on Earth did Daichi manage to outdrink them at every opportunity’).
Well, no time like the present, he figured. “Nice to finally get a name for our plant-killer! I’m Nishinoya Yuu, guardian of the plants, friend to this little loser,” a quick noogie to Hinata’s head, for good measure, “and best senpai ever! So ‘Bokuto’?” The TFM’s – Bokuto? – eyes went wide. “Tell me ‘bout yourself!”
The TFM – who had been eyeing him with one of those expressions Noya could never tell was romantic interest or constipation – jolted to life suddenly. Introductions quickly gave way to apologies, “Please tell your family I’m super sorry again about the table I don’t even know what happened,” then to stories of adventures and misdemeanours as the little group found their own awkward rhythm of chaos and laughter. Hinata’s neighbours did tell them to keep it down at one point when the screaming (from all three parties) got a little intense, but all that did was reduce three grown adults to little children stifling giggles.
By the time night fell, Noya was no closer to working out what it was about Bro-kuto (as he was now saved in his phone) that intrigued him, but honestly, he didn’t really mind.
“Bro-ku-to!!! Get your ass up this second! Let’s go let’s go!”
Bokuto mumbled a hazy ‘Datekou?’ between snores. Answering Kuroo’s panicked three-am call about which tie he should wear to his big client meeting – whilst not a regret because he loved his friend and wanted to see him do well – was evidently not a smart decision for his sleep schedule.
Bokuto rolled over and snuggled back into his pillow, floating into dreamland. He was receiving a medal, and as they hung it over his neck, he could hear the crowd cheering him on, chanting his name – Bokuto! Bokuto!
“Bokuto! Bokuto!!! Wake up!!!” Noya shook the puddle that called itself Bokuto Koutarou as vigorously as he could to no avail. You may be wondering how it was Nishinoya Yuu managed to make it inside Bokuto senior’s house to start shaking him. The open window provides some clues but raises more questions, especially given that it’s two floors up. The answer was simple: Nishinoya Yuu had performed a stunning homage to Da Bois Night (Summer Edition – The Remix), not that Noya was familiar with the word ‘homage’. If he was able to climb the outside of their concrete school in the rain, then getting into an open window on a sunny morning on a brick house was easy.
Bokuto was still sleeping like the dead, mouth hanging open and all, and Noya needed a new plan. Noya however was not a ‘plan-man’. He took a couple of steps back, drew all his breath in, and then… “Rrrrrooling THUNDER!!!!”
Flinging himself with all the force he could muster, he attempted to tackle Bokuto off his bed. His shoulder slammed into the small of Bokuto’s back, which succeeded not only in making Bokuto yelp but also moving enough of his body that the mass of limbs and blankets rolled off the bed with a loud thump.
The blanket mass that now contained two useless disasters simultaneously started groaning and laughing from the floor. Bokuto untangled himself from the sheets to find Noya laughing in what had since become characteristic of their friendship, and he couldn’t stop himself from giggling along. Soon both were cackling, and each time one tried to stop the other would make eye contact, or say something, or in one notable case snort ungracefully, and the two would simply start all over again.
Their laughter echoed down the halls. His grandfather, thankfully, had hearing aids which he took out at night. The man couldn’t hear a thing without them.
Once they’d managed to calm down (and put most of Bokuto’s sheet’s back on his bed, which Noya had then jumped on and flopped into like some kind of demanding cat), Bokuto decided to at least try and do his normal morning routine. This attempt at normalcy was somewhat thwarted by Noya’s commentary and fashion advice. “Grab the pink shirt!” “Sick I love this– wait, shit, I’ve got work later.” “What about flamingos hula-hooping is unprofessional? They’re hardworking animals!”
“Can you grab me the gel?” “You use the pine one? God, no wonder you always smell like air freshener.” “Hey! I’ll have you know my friends say I smell ‘rugged’ and ‘not overbearing’.” “Dude.”
“Is that how you get it to stick up?!” “Duh, makes more sense like this!” “Bokuto, my man, I may have seriously underestimated you. You may actually be one of the coolest people I know. And I know plenty of cool people.” “Yeah, your aunt is awesome.” “Not who I meant, but damn straight.”
As Bokuto flipped back down from the bar in the doorway where he’d been hanging upside down, Noya absently checked his phone. Normally, Bokuto would have found the scrunch of Nishinoya’s nose rather cute, but there was something in the furrow of his brows that filled Bokuto with confusion. He flopped down next to (or more accurately, around) Noya, attempting to peek at his phone. Noya chuckled lightly, swatting him away with a bat of his hand. No luck. Bokuto leaned closer and watched those eyes as they skimmed over messages, gold tarnished with worry the further down the conversation they got. Noya’s dyed tuft (now a bright green thanks to a bet with Shouyou) had started to fall in front of his eyes but he was ignoring it.
What Nishinoya Yuu could not ignore was when a hand that was not his own moved the hair for him.
Their eyes met, and among other flitting thoughts that struck Nishinoya in that moment, one was how Bokuto’s hand was easily bigger than his face. Another was how nice his hair looked down, even though it was still pretty sick gelled up. Another was how much fun this loud dude was. How much he made him laugh, made him stronger, challenged him, excited him. How lucky he was that he’d flipped a goddamn table in his little plant shop.
The last was how sharp and wild and fucking terrified Bokuto’s owl-like eyes were.
He leaned his head softly into the hand that was so close, that was bigger than his face, and turned his eyes once more to Bokuto, who looked every bit as hopeful as he looked amazed.
Nishinoya was an observant guy.
He didn’t see the kiss coming at all.
Epilogue – Shouyou
When the two of them told Hinata the good news, Hinata was elated! The Great Idea had come to fruition! It worked! Two awesome senpais!
He was so elated, in fact, that the first thing he did was grab Nishinoya and kiss him, before barrelling into Bokuto and jumping into his arms.
Wait. Shit.
Well, that explains Point Four.
You could hear the echoes of their laughing, of their joy – a flock of loud, excited birds – all the way up the mountainside.
serious question what mario kart character do the hq boys got
ask and you shall receive. I might do a smash version of this because that was my entire personality from ages 12 to 22.
warning: swearing, alcohol mention
KARASUNO
daichi sawamura ➝ luigi. he has no clue that this character FUCKS and that if he just would grab a bike over the standard kart he might stand a chance. an idiot.
koushi sugawara ➝ rosalina, picks her because shes pretty and quote looks like a scene kid unquote. isnt that good but plays because its FUN and he likes spending time with friends. doesnt know how to use the green shells and ends up hitting himself.
asahi azumane ➝ diddy kong, how can a man look this anxious playing a driving simulator? no clue. hits every banana peel along the way.
yuu nishinoya ➝ WALUIGI!!! kingshit he GETS it. easily the best character. hits everyone on purpose, sometimes accidentally drives backwards and doesnt even notice when the game tells him. cant stop making jokes the entire time.
ryuunosuke tanaka ➝ wario, just for the chaos and because he looks tough, always yells “lets play beerio kart!!” because hes only good at the game drunk. the kind of friend who makes sure EVERYONE gets a turn.
tobio kageyama ➝ mario, said “well why wouldnt i pick mario,,,its called MARIO kart not just KART” like this is just the easiest answer in the world. i would like to say mario kart is where kags is most at peace, its almost like meditation for him, hes so quiet when he plays.
shoyo hinata ➝ toad, everytime he hits a box he yells “GIMMIE THE BULLET OR GIVE ME DEATH” also he mostly plays standing up because sitting feels too casual during a life n death match of kartin’
kei tsukishima ➝ donkey kong, way too aggressive with this game but is ultimately horrible. it hurts his ego. it hurts his ego more if KAGEYAMA does better than him, then he just yells that its a stupid game.
tadashi yamaguchi ➝ yoshi, he always wins and you dont even know how. if theyre playing beerio kart yams chugs the entire beer at the beginning and DESTROYS everyone in their path. he gets better the more he drinks, like its a superpower.
ennoshita chikara ➝ king boo, second last king and should consider getting glasses because he cant see the TV at all
kiyoko shimizu ➝ peach!!!! kingshit again, barely plays because shes too quiet to ask for a turn, but if tanaka is there he yells “MAKE WAY THE BEAUTIFUL LADY MUST PLAY” and kiyoko does well.
hitoka yachi ➝ toadette, you ever seen yachi mad? well this might be your chance, she once almost killed yams for hitting her hand during rainbow road.
NEKOMA
tetsuro kuroo ➝ waluigi, keeps yelling “WAAAAAAAAAAH LUUU WEEGEE” and “WAHHHH” every lap. without fail. in many ways kuroo and waluigi share a brain. goes out of his way to stay in second place the entire time so that the blue shell will destroy whos in first. lied to lev about what bananas do.
morisuke yaku ➝ bowser, blames everything under the sun for his bad playing and keeps saying his controller is ‘lagging’ ITS NOT YAKU YOURE JUST BAD AT DRIFTING. kind of a game/controller hog. its the ego.
kenma kozume ➝ luigi (always on a motorcycle of sorts, way 2 serious about this game, if you dont have everything unlocked he’ll roast you) the only time hes aggressively loud is when hes playing with kuroo, in which case he threatens to “destroy his ability to procreate if he unleashes a blue shell”
lev haiba ➝ koopa troopa, one time played an ENTIRE round with the controller upside down. no one knows why. he said it felt natural. thought the bananas were “power ups” because he says potassium if good for you (but really its because kuroo lied to him)
AOBA JOHSAI
tooru oikawa ➝ rosalina, sometimes yells “givin the steering wheel to jesus” and forces the controller on someone else MID RACE. honestly is quite good at it, and usually has full conversations with people while playing which is unfair.
hajime iwaizumi ➝ daisy (says “bro the pros all use her its not like that!!” but it is indeed like that) does well but the EYE STRAIN this man does just to play is crazy, like gives the tv a devil stare until the end of the race.
issei matsukawa ➝ baby daisy (him and maki like to both be baby characters because its funny to yell “AHAHAH GET FUCKED U GOT OWNED BY A ROYAL IN DIAPERS”)
takahiro hanamaki ➝ baby peach, whenever he hits someone with a shell he goes “bro that baby is getting away with murder someone call its parents” and you know its not funny.
akira kunimi ➝ dry bones, but if thats not available then waluigi, hes a big fan of drifting basically the entire course even if it doesnt help him because he likes the sound the kart makes. hes good when he tries.
FUKURODANI
koutarou bokuto ➝ daisy (mach bike only), lays on his stomach on the floor and swings his leg back and forth in determination and focus, and damn he is good. however if you tickle his feet he’ll throw the controller, so use this knowledge as a hail mary.
keiji akaashi ➝ funky kong, the kind of person who says theyre not that good but then they come in 1st for the ENTIRE circuit/cup. literally just relaxing and ZOOMIN through the tracks.
akinori konoha ➝ bowser junior, really only ever plays it drunk so the first time he plays it sober hes like “how.... do i go forward” and everyone groans in anger. hes a dumb baby but trying his best.
SHIRATORIZAWA
wakatoshi ushijima ➝ mario or baby mario. says the baby version makes him feel less threatening but likes the tradition that comes with mario. he once broke a controller by pressing on it too hard.
satori tendou ➝ funky kong!!!!!!!!! likes his little outfit, mostly plays for fun but if hes playing without someone he likes to bully then he’ll go all out.
tsutomu goshiki ➝ mii character, has no clue whats happening, has only placed a few times because he was one of those kids that didnt game growing up
shirabu kenjirou ➝ the game frustrates him too much so he doesnt play. but hes basically the back seat driver of the game telling everyone what to do.
INARIZAKI
atsumu miya ➝ dry bowser, i wish he was bad at mariokart just so i could roast him, but unfortunately hes fantastic at it. he always spells it “mario cart” though. you cant pry him himbo-ness from his cold dead body. UPSIDE, hes always giving tips to his friends.
osamu miya ➝ funky kong, because he read on the internet that the pros use him. he practices to be better than atsumu but unfortunately hes not. but sometimes the two of them do a “miya-bomb” where they both release shells at the same time behind them to mess with everyone else.
rintarou suna ➝ yoshi, only plays the wii version because he “loves that funky car steering wheel controller” and he tried taping his switch remote to is but it obviously didnt work. still acts like hes the best
shinsuke kita ➝ toad, honestly playing because his friends forced him but does decently. happy to be included.
DATE TECH
takanobu aone ➝ HIS MII CHARACTER! hes the only one who can get away with this, because its wholesome. his hands are too big for the switch controller so he prefers the wii version or if someones connected the gamecube controller.
kenji futakuchi ➝ koopa troopa, talks a big game about “being the best” and “could destroy any of those mirror trials” but damn, completely horrible.
kanji koganegawa ➝ wario, hes pressing the buttons so hard that he might break a controller but its all in the focus that brings the win, or so he says, i dont think hes ever really one a round.
OTHER
yuuji terushima ➝ diddy kong, once tried playing with his feet and he didnt come in last, so thats basically a win. always looks at the wrong screen and thinks hes playing as someone else.
sakusa kiyoomi ➝ daisy! easily the best of all of them, quiet aggressive player. (also wipes down the controller with lysol wipes, unless its a tourney in which case hE BRINGS HIS OWN CONTROLLER FROM HOME)
masterlist
i’m hOLLERING
who in hq kills the bugs and who asks someone else to kill it for them
lmao,,,, THIS IS beautiful and ive thought about this at length so here you go:
haikyuu bug killing shenanigans
KILLS the bugs in the household ➝ USHIJIMA, Iwaizumi, Osamu, Konoha, Suna, Tsukishima, Oikawa, Tanaka, Daichi
KILLS the bugs of the house but so VIOLENTLY that youre kinda worried about their mental health ➝ Yaku, Noya, Bokuto
Has to ask OTHERS to KILL the bugs in their home➝ SUGAWARA, Sakusa, Kuroo, Asahi, Kageyama, Semi, Goshiki
SPRAYS the bug with air freshener screaming “WHY WONT YOU DIE??” ➝ ATSUMU, TERUSHIMA, Hinata, Kindaichi, Yamaguchi
Says “little guy aint doing nothing hes just chilling” and LETS THE BUG LIVE THERE RENT FREE ➝ KENMA, Kunimi, Mattsun, Hanamaki, Tendou
CAPTURES the bug and RELEASES IT BACK OUTSIDE ➝ KITA, Akaashi,
The BUG in question➝ Lev
the first two sets of a haikyuu x animal crossing thread i’ve been doing on my twitter!
Mod Kenma’s 12 Days of Haikyuu Christmas [Condensed]!!
So I wanted to try and make you all a twelve days of Christmas post but everything appears to have freaked out on me! So I challenge you followers to reblog this and fill all twelve days of Christmas with something Haikyuu!!!
On the twelfth day of Haikyuu holidays Mod Kenma gave to me
12 precious birbs!
💛 KENMA WEEK 💛
Day 4: Team Swap
karasuno adopted the kitty > w <)/
“Shouyou, stay interesting.”
Fantasy Haikyuu Quest + Video Games = HAIKYUU DND
(Consider this my apology for being late and missing a day)
"I don't mind your teammates, Shouyou, but why did you drag me all the way over here for…math board games?"
"C'mon Kenma, it'll be fun! It's just like video games, but with more imagination! I'll let you use my super lucky dice!"
Shouyou would say it was the super lucky dice that pushed Kenma over the edge. Kenma would say it was the hope that poured from Shouyou's eyes like sunlight and the fact he couldn't possibly say no then. It'd be like kicking a small puppy.
"…Fine."
Even though part of the reason he enjoyed video games so much was the lack of interaction with people, he was going to let himself be talked into this because he couldn’t say no to Shouyou.
"Yay!!! This is going to be great! I'll call Aone-san!"
That’s roughly how Kenma found himself sitting opposite a very demonic assortment of dice, small tokens, a badly drawn map marked with a series of strange things and...was that a plush bird? Next to Kenma was an unbearably large white haired guy Kenma recognised as being from Datekou ("Aone" had been all he'd offered by way of introduction, and Kenma frankly did not feel like prying), and on his other side was Shouyou who was wearing a small paper circlet practically dunked in glitter.
("My sister made it for me when I told her we were playing magical adventures, and I didn't wanna say no", god could he get any nicer?)
Next to Shouyou there was Karasuno's setter (whose eyes had not left Kenma since he'd sat down and now Kenma was actually beginning to sweat), then a guy from Aoba Jousai (their ace, but his name escaped Kenma and he was scowling a little too much to ask) and then on the other side of the table was one of Karasuno's second years who reminded him, just in passing, of Fukunaga.
"Alright settle down! I'm Ennoshita," ah that's his name, "and I'll be your dungeon master for this evening! Because we've got some new players, let's remind everyone where we left off!"
We begin in the forest, just outside the great floating city of Fukurodani, our heroes - the paladin Shouyou, the ranger Kageyama, the barbarian Iwazumi, and the monk Aone - are on their quest to gain knowledge about an ancient relic that could help them slay the great demon Oikawa…
(Wait, why was the ace from Aoba Jousai laughing? And was this guy just using names of the teams he'd played?)
Whilst walking they encountered the sorcerer Kenma (Kenma had naturally read up on all the classes and power sets last night in a furious anxiety-riddled attempt to understand what he was coming up against), who was also looking for the means to defeat a craft cat demon who'd taken over his hometown. Together they all continued on to the floating city where they encountered a strange landmark…
"Roll perception!" A furious flurry of dice-rolling followed. "Okay," Ennoshita checked his clipboard (which he was using as a makeshift shield for all his plans) "Kenma can see the stone is secretly a puzzle! However, if you fail to solve the puzzle… you'll all be cursed forever!" Shouyou and Kageyama gasped, horrified. "So Kenma, what are you going to do?" "I…solve the puzzle?" "Roll for it! You may have just cursed all your teammates because that puzzle requires a-oh my god you solved it. How high is your intelligence anyway?" "Yay for Kenma! Let's go into the city!"
They enter the city and after Iwazumi forced the tavern keeper to spill his guts ("Spill it or I'll spill them for you!" "Roll intimidate. Wait don't bother, he gives up") they learn of a mystical mage Akaashi who hold the secret to the path to the Relic of Extra-Terrestrial Power but first the heroes must fight his winged gatekeeper Bokuto! (Kenma snorted out a laugh at that one)
A series of disastrous failures followed, including Kageyama's arrow not only missing Bokuto entirely but also hitting a small bird (whose death Ennoshita acted out dramatically using the small red-headed black birdie plushie on the table), Iwazumi's attempt to strike resulting in his ridiculously overpowered magic sword literally being embedded into a stone, and Aone and Hinata's coordinated throw which left Hinata now in the tree that once housed the aforementioned dead bird. Kenma - whose initiative had been pitifully low - watched his teammates struggle against the terrifying owl-god (and he swore he heard triumphant hooting in the distance) and began thinking. What was the pattern here? How do you beat Bokuto?
All of a sudden Kenma was hit with a beautiful, stupid idea.
"I pick up the bird." "You what?" "The dead bird. I pick it up." "…Okay…" "I say 'Bokuto-san look at this'," "...Okay.…" "Bokuto san looks at the bird," "…Yep, he would do that…" "Bokuto-san faints." "Whoa whoa whoa what?" "Bokuto-san can't stand dead things. He can't do dissections in class, he can't stare at dead animals on the street, he can barely tolerate his own blood let alone that of another creature." "…well…I mean…" Ennoshita rolled some dice, before looking at Kenma with a mixture of apprehension and approval. "Bokuto-kun failed the constitution check! His eyes roll back into his skull and he faints! You guys win the challenge! The mage Akaashi will speak with you now!"
Our heroes - with the wisdom of the mage Akaashi - were now one step closer to defeating the Demon King!
like a kitty cat hm?
Today is the birthday of my ray of sunshine son ♡( ◡‿◡ ) お誕生日おめでとうございます, 日向 翔陽! (06.21) ~
Day 1: Third Year
(Or “Kenma is Full of Regrets”)
There was a part of Kenma which would always regret letting Kuroo talk him into things. He called it the rational part of his brain. His mother called it his anxiety.
Right now he was regretting Kuroo’s return from university, regretting inviting him along to practice (I mean he wasn’t captain anyway so he didn’t have that authority and c’mon Tora surely you would have - wait Tora couldn’t stop a fly let alone his sneaky former captain), and most importantly he regretted that he’d made a joke in front of his team (Shouyou said that’s how teammates bond and supposedly he was meant to do the bonding thing now he was a Third Year(TM)) that if Lev managed to make one spike today he’d dye his hair cherry red in celebration of the team.
That Russian beanpole had been holding out on them all it seemed, because he’d not only made one - oh no - but six extra spikes. Kuroo was grinning and puffed up like a proud mother hen, making eye contact with Kenma that said “I’ll buy the hair dye”.
Kuroo is not the kind of guy who’d accept “that was a joke”.
Kuroo is not the kind of guy to let things go.
Kuroo is exactly the kind of guy who’d have the whole team present when he personally redyed Kenma’s hair (it had just started growing out to pudding stage and he honestly liked it like that).
And so, as Kenma sat in the chair set up in Inuoka’s backyard staring at his reflection in the glass door wearing a well-worn shower cap, whilst occasionally flicking his eyes to Kuroo in the kitchen looking like he’d just murdered a man, Kenma was filled with regrets.
“All right! Timer’s up! Yamamato, get the hose!”
Ah yes. Regrets.
The colour, it turns out, would be the least of them. Lev’s insufferable ‘strawberry pudding Kenma’ jokes however, now those he’d live to regret.
KENMA WEEK: June 24 - June 30
Do you have an overwhelming amount of love for a certain pudding-headed setter? Wanna look for an excuse to express your adoration for Kozume Kenma? You’re in luck, because Kenma week’s coming up!
From June 24th to June 30th we’ll be hosting Kenma Week! An entire week dedicated to Nekoma’s favorite setter. This means art, cosplays, fanfics, fanmixes, edits, anything you want to do. We’re not concerned with “skill” or “quality,” so get creative and have fun!!
Prompts are as follows:
Day 1: Third Year
Day 2: Final Haikyuu Quest
Day 3: Video Games
Day 4: Team Swap
Day 5: Shipping
Day 6: Zodiac AU
Day 7: The Cat and The Brain
Here are some helpful links you should check out before this week happens!
rules | faq | prompts | admins
im not sure if anyone’s done this yet but