The table you can sit at

I don't judge you if you don't judge me. I love my dogs, my high school band, and my best friend Luke 💚💚

[feysandsmut-deactivated20180926]

[wishingtobemrswhitethorn]

[hs18106r-blog]

Depending on the day. I am the idiot or the two guys running away.

[karnalesbian]

my favorite thing about the title ‘teenage mutant ninja turtles’ is how every word throws you a new curveball

[karnalesbian]

like, teenage? Solid starting point. Popular protagonist demographic. I can understand that. Suddenly hard left into ‘mutant’ and oh shit that’s wild are we going into xmen territory here? How are they gonna play this? Let’s wait and s- ninjas? Yo this can’t possibly get cooler ninjas are wild right? And then suddenly they end with ‘turtles’ and your hopes and dreams don’t know what to do anymore and your entire worldview has been shattered. Good title.

[officiallunablack]

🎃BOYS🎃AND🎃GIRLS🎃OF🎃EVERY🎃AGE🎃WOULDN'T🎃YOU🎃LIKE🎃TO🎃SEE🎃SOMETHING🎃STRANGE🎃COME🎃WITH🎃US🎃AND🎃YOU🎃WILL🎃SEE🎃THIS🎃OUR🎃TOWN🎃OF🎃HALLOWEEN🎃THIS🎃IS🎃HALLOWEEN🎃THIS🎃IS🎃HALLOWEEN🎃PUMPKINS🎃SCREAM🎃IN🎃THE🎃DEAD🎃OF🎃NIGHT🎃THIS🎃IS🎃HALLOWEEN🎃EVERYBODY🎃MAKE🎃A🎃SCENE🎃TRICK🎃OR🎃TREAT🎃TILL🎃THE🎃NEIGHBORS🎃GONNA🎃DIE🎃OF🎃FRIGHT🎃ITS🎃OUR🎃TOWN🎃EVERYBODY🎃SCREAM🎃IN🎃THIS🎃TOWN🎃OF🎃HALLOWEEN🎃

[relatablepoetryandquotes]

“The mystery of human existence lies not in just staying alive, but in finding something to live for.” - Fyodor Dostoyevsky

via @quotemadness

[princessselene126]

Thorne: Have you been crying?

Cinder: No. I don’t even have tear ducts.

[kreachvr]

[thecw4kids]

ghost in the house: GET OUT. I WILL TAKE YOU-

real estate agent: chill, its me.

ghost: oh hey. have you sold it yet.

real estate agent: obviously NOT, idiot.

[krovav]

I added a code to my blog that prevents Pinterest pinning without permission if any other artists are interested

[tabythakelley-deactivated202209]

reblogging to share the resource but I do want to point out that the code amounts to “pinterest no pinning”. like dora the explorer’s swiper the fox… but if swiper were a middle-aged stay-at-home-mom with a smartphone. technology is truly amazing

[little-prongs-deactivated202111]

@atalienart YOOO

[sonickitty]

I was on the subway today, and when the train got delayed, this little kid was like, “fuck,” and a literal chorus of grown-ups went: “HEY.”

[zombienicholas]

Send me asks!!

[hs18106r-blog]

Me: Babe Satan has arrived.

Babe: And who would that be?

Me: My period.

Babe: Oh No... (Actually sent me the gif)

[relatablepoetryandquotes]

“Remember that you ought to behave in life as you would at a banquet. As something is being passed around it comes to you; stretch out your hand, take a portion of it politely. It passes on; do not detain it. Or it has not come to you yet; do not project your desire to meet it, but wait until it comes in front of you.” - Epictetus, The Enchiridion via

via @philosophybits

[slytherins-slither]

Random thoughts Slytherins have

• Is it acceptable to say gucci and fam in the same sentence?

• I’m gonna be the most aesthetic

• actually, fuck that

• I just want to go home

• fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

• I’m just gonna pretend that didn’t happen

• ew look at that person over there… breathing like a bitch

• I’m too tired for this

• I’m gonna shove a cactus up your ass

• Google that shit

• Is it possible to get high off crispy onions?

• fuck this

• Maybe if I say ‘fuck me’ more often when I do something wrong, someone will say ‘I’m trying’

• Why are people so stupid sometimes?

• I’m back bitches, missed me?

• how come no one ever misses me

• you’re all gonna be sorry when I’m richer than you

• CHECK IT OUT THIS CHILD ACTUALLY LIKES ME

• I hate hugs

• If I don’t get a hug in the next two minutes I’m literally going to start crying

• wHy Am I cRyInG

• fuck this, fuck you, fuck that, fuck me

• Your rules don’t apply to me

• shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit

• I like being alone

• I hate being alone

• If you tell me what to do one more time I swear I will slap a bitch

• Well fuck me up and call me Florida

[foxwin]

“When I walk into a church, I only see paintings of white angels. Why?“ - Eartha Kitt 

[abstrackafricana-x-deactivated2]

probably for the same reasons i lost 6 followers after posting a steady stream of classically beautiful women…

[shoot-the-groom]

I’ve never seen a black angel depicted with brown wings. It’s beautiful

[billiesimone]

❤

[blackshuckofficial-deactivated2]

I may not have the best body but it sure does hold all my organs in place

[shitthehousessay]

Ravenclaw: Ah, Huff did the dishes.

Slytherin: How do you know I didn’t do them?

Ravenclaw: Because once when all the knives were dirty you cut a bagel with your keys.

[just-shower-thoughts]

It is an unspoken rule that if a little kid is hiding under a blanket or couch cushions, you are required to comment on how lumpy the blanket is and pretend to sit on it to try and “smooth it out.”

[tgmember]

Also, if you’re playing hide-and-seek with them, it is critical that you search every other possible (and impossible) hiding spot, all the while wondering out loud how they managed to disappear just like magic, before walking right past their hiding spot.

[the-catholic-geek]

And if a baby starts playing peekaboo you are required to act surprised when they show their face again

[pornhubstepmom-deactivated20191]

If a kid hands you a phone, you answer it

[a-trashcan-made-out-of-fandoms]

If a kid shoots you with a Nerf Gun you are supposed to Die a dramatic death and explain “ugh you shot me blaahh”

[gobbochune-deactivated20241018]

when you push a kid on the swings ya gotta do the woosh

[zetsubonna]

I literally just blocked about a dozen people on this post for being cranky about children.

Being a joyless shitbeast to kids isn’t cool. They’re kids. If you want to be Oscar the Grouch, that’s fine, but do it in a way they understand and explain it to them.

“I don’t want to play, I’m grumpy. Thank you, though, that was kind.”

It’s literally not hard. Kids are small people. Treat them with common fucking decency.