It's not much, but to me it was a significant moment in my life where before, I always believed nothing like this would happen to me, that I chose the right friends who would respect me and treat me well, and strangers couldn't hurt me if I was careful enough. This changed that, it made me realise no matter how well you know the person, you are never truly safe.
It was the last day of school for the term, and I went with my best friend to her boyfriends house for a sleepover with his best friend who I knew relatively well. The night was good we were all having fun, and we decided to get out the vodka and start drinking as reckless teenagers do. One whole bottle later we were completely smashed, and went out for a walk. On the way back the boys decided to take a piss so myself and my best friend were alone for probably the first time that night. She told me, while being completely drunk, that her boyfriend was being more sexually interested than usual. No biggie, he didn't force anything on her she didnt want. So I asked her if she was okay and if she wanted me to tell him to stop, she said no because she wasn't concerned about it. I let it go. Later that night we're back at the house and all four of us are on two matresses spread on the floor for sleeping, of course her and her boyfriend are making out like crazy, so I start hooking up with the other guy. All is going fine until my guy stops with his hand on my pants and asks if I want him to go further, I tell him no and he complies, but at that second the boyfriend rolls over, tugs at my pants and says "go on, I'll help". I was insanely drunk but I dont think I'll ever forget him saying that. The guy with me pushes his hand away and tells him I don't want to, and then the boyfriend goes on to grab my boobs and say "why not?". I roll away from him, and keep on hooking up with the other guy. Im not going to let this ruin my night, I think to myself, it's just the alcohol speaking, I think.
And maybe it was, because he's a decent guy normally, and the next morning once we all woke up with splitting headaches he didn't remember, and I didn't ask, because it wasn't that significant, but for me it was a turning point where I really thought about the males in my life, and realised this wasn't the first time i'd nearly been a victim of sexual assault from someone close to me.
One night at a big camp with my friends I was sleeping next to this guy who was the favourite at our school, everyone loved him and he was the kindest person out. I was half asleep and he started to touch my ass, with no consent from me. He keeps doing this, feeling me up until I turn around to make sure he isn't possibly asleep and unconsciously doing it and ask, "what are you doing?". He looks at me, smiles and says "nothing". I turn back around, and after a while I pretend to fall asleep. He starts again grabbing me harder this time. I couldn't believe it, so I layed there till he fell asleep, and then so did I.
I have other times I could write about, I could probably make a book out of all the times I've been catcalled, slutshamed, been harassed on social media to send explicit photos, or had an experience like the ones above, and i'm only 16. Please ladies, don't be afraid to speak out, to tell men that what they're doing is wrong. Remember you're not alone no matter how big or small your story is. We're all in this together. #metoo