Weight loss ramblings

Just somewhere to write down what I'm feeling during my weight loss process with Ligterlife.

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Day four/five

These have been the worst days so far, especially today. Not overly sure if the cold/flu symptoms I've caught off my Dad, or if it's the ketosis. Maybe it's both. Whatever it is, it's fucking me over and I don't know what to do with myself. I thought I should be bursting with energy.. I guess I am, in a funny way. I mean, I went to bed at 3:00am last night/this morning and I ended up waking at 7:30am full of beans, despite the cold. It didn't stop me from trying to go back to sleep and failing epically though. Boo.

Hopefully at the weigh-in on Sunday, all this lethargy will be explained. And I'm still craving a boiled egg so I might ask if it's ok to just have one, a sneaky one. Just a really small one. I'm not asking for a fucking Ostrich egg. 

Last night my brother tried the shepherds pie and didn't help by saying it tasted like dog shit. Thanks for that one bro. And to top it all off, it looks like someone has just vomited in your dish. I think on Sunday I'm opting out of the shepherds pie and doing for something more powdery delicious. Same goes with the porridges, absolutely unappetising. I thought "Oh, apple and cinnamon! Lovely" No, it's just foul. I might just opt for shakes in the morning. The banana one is so nice, seriously. I love it. The creamy asparagus soup is nice and the mushroom isn't so bad. 

Porridge and shepherds pie are a definite no no for next week.

I got really emotional before, I miss John like mad and with this diet, and feeling poorly I just generally want some affection, a hug.. just literally anything. I don't know if I'm going to go to work on Saturday.. see how that one pans out. If I'm feeling anything like this, then work is a no no. 

And last, but not least - Whoever is cooking burgers right now in my house can sod off. Despite my cold, I still have a sense of smell, however limited. Not good. 

Craving burgers along with eggs now, cheers. 

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Day three

Today I have felt so tired, so lethargic and drained. I've felt like I wasn't even in the room half the time and my concentration was terrible.

This could be the ketosis kicking in. Supposedly tomorrow I'm going to have a big burst of energy, but the way I'm feeling right now I just sleep for a fucking week.

I'm off work now for a few days, so I guess I can rest and try to come to terms with what my body is doing. I just feel so weird man, it's freaking me out. I got really upset earlier, my emotions are EVERYWHERE. 

Really craving a boiled egg and soldiers right now, oh my gosh. Warm, dippy.. yolky goodness. 

Fucking bastard.   + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +    

   This is what Lighterlife have to say about ketosis:

Ketosis is a normal metabolic state. It is the process your body uses to convert fats into energy.   

During ketosis your body switches from using glucose for energy to using stored body fat and dietary fat for energy. We've evolved to store fat for times of need and ketosis is the process by which we can live off that fat for survival. Most people, no matter what type of diet they’re eating, will enter a state of ketosis at some point within a 24-hour period e.g. when asleep.   

If you consume fewer calories than your body requires, first you’ll use up glycogen stored in your liver. Once this is depleted, after one to three days, you’ll start to use body fat. This is ketosis.  

When this fat is broken down, the resulting fatty acids are used by your liver to produce ketones. These are a water-soluble form of energy that can be used by most tissues as fuel. Ketones can also pass across the blood-brain barrier to be used by your brain.  

Being in ketosis can reduce your appetite, make you feel really well and full of energy. It occurs as a result of being on a low-energy, low-carbohydrate diet.

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Day two

I've felt more considerably hungry around dinner time. I think it was due to work being hectic and having my lunch later than originally planned.

I had my porridge at 7:30am then had some water when I got to work around about 8:40am but didn't eat my other food pack until 2pm. I then had my vanilla shake at 6:35pm (around that time) and now I'm waiting for 9/9:30pm to come around so I can have my powdered shepherds pie, delicious.

It's all trial and error really, getting used to things. How to make the food packs up, some are different to others, for example: if you need more/less water than recommended and do not use a shallow dish to make the carbonara, otherwise it's going to leak all over work's microwave which means a smaller portion of non-conventional food for you to consume at dinner time. FAIL!

I felt really tired today too. I don't know if I'm adjusting to the diet, or if I didn't have enough amount of sleep. Time will tell though!

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Lighterlife

I joined Lighterlife today, and I was very apprehensive about the whole thing.  I have done Slimming World, and it seemed to work for a short while, but then things got on top of me and I carried on going back to my old eating habbits.

I'm a comfort eater, and I eat when I'm depressed/anxious/bored/happy and any other mood I can think of. Most of it is boredom, I don't think I activate my mind enough to think less about food, but now without having any conventional food at all, this is going to be a complete test of will power and endurance. 

I do feel better now that I'm working and I'm in a happier state of mind. I have suffered from anxiety problems and depression, but the past few weeks I've felt fine, the best I've felt in a long while. I stopped smoking on the 29th of February this year, and I think that has played a big part in changing my life style. Now that's out of the way, it's on to the weight management. 

I need to do this for myself more than anything, to be healthier and live a better lifestyle, but It'd be nice for my fiancé and I to have a better sex life. It's all down to me and my confidence in the bedroom. I'm so frightened to do anything that's going to result in me crushing him/suffocating the poor boy. I get cramps sometimes and can't so certain things for long. We've recently got engaged, and for me to actually fit in to a beautiful wedding dress without looking like a giant toilet roll holder would just be fantastic.  

The first day has gone surprisingly OK. I have felt a little but hungry after the food packs, but I've acted on those hunger pangs with drinking water and it's seemed to of done the job. I even attempted at being active playing football with my fiancé's nephews. Well, more or less standing at the goal posts and moving minimally but at least I was 'trying' to be active. 

Tomorrow I'm back at work so I'll see how that goes. Normally at work I don't generally feel hungry anyway, as there's always something to do to keep your mind occupied. I'm sure I'll get through it, I'm a fighter!

Doesn't help when your Nan rings up and says she's made too much mash, and then comes to the realisation that you can't eat said mash, but continues to tell you how buttery and creamy it is. 

Nice one Nan.