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@hungarianmudkip69
selfies!!
Watching a certain flavor of leftist spoil and ratfuck the upcoming elections is even more dispiriting to watch as a fed rn. We're barely holding on. Even at my evil govt job that they would crucify me for working at, our career employees and leaders are holding the line, slow-rolling, maliciously complying, and ignoring (when we can get away with it) whatever illegal batshit insane horrific thing the ghouls whove been handed the reins of our agencies can come up with. And everyone - EVERYONE - is taking hits and taking hits and holding out if we can for this coming election. Everyone is talking about November and what the posture will be like at christmas. Its the only silver lining. The stakes have only gotten higher since 2024. We're fatigued, and tired. And a bunch of bored ingrates with too much time on their hands and a fundamental misunderstanding of the extent of their own privilege are trying their damnedest to pry our fingers off the ledge
@terreurs :)
ooh thank god
what is your LEAST favorite stitch?
I don't like counted work at fucking all. So: the cross stitch.
reading this as someone who does cross stitch but is scared of the other kinds of embroidery is like overhearing an incredibly tall and buff person say they have beef with Mr. Tom, the kitten that chills at the bookstore
FUCK Mr. Tom and his stupid little fluffy tail ok. And his little charted designs.
Okay, but this neglects the true villain of embroidery stitches: the French knot
Don't you dare malign my girl again
Ok the french knot is very useful but it is a BITCH to do it consistently
We talk about how this websiteâs hate mail game is insane, but this might just be a new level
why is your cat green?
Sheâs built different đ
Look i tried to laugh it off, but I havenât stopped thinking about this message because⊠my cat literally isnât green
like where is the green
Oh Christ
This is the color your cat is
colors i eyedropped directly from op's cat
I drew a tree using only colours eyedropped from OP's cat.
every time i see this post all i see is some green alien kitty with antennae so i had to draw it
I originally thought those were supposed to be mushrooms, implying that this cat is moldy
Moldy forest cat
i'm happy y'all made fan art of my cat. i tried to show her and she just rubbed her face on my phone
one day i'm going to make a post explaining how to use early modern english to y'all because i have seen too many people 1) calling it old english, and 2) wildly missing the mark with a Lot of confidence (to the point that someone took a pen and changed "shall" to "shalt" on a sign in a bookstore, which made it the incorrect conjugation of the verb for given subject!)
actually that day is today, with the caveat that i am not a linguist. i'm just an early modernist (specialized in english drama). and this is not an exhaustive course in early modern english! it is a bare bones intro to the basics. if you want to know more, read early modern works or do some googling.
what kind of english is that? let's look at some famous examples of each.
HwĂŠt. We Gardena in geardagum, / ĂŸeodcyninga, ĂŸrym gefrunon, / hu ða ĂŠĂŸelingas ellen fremedon. <- this is old english. note that it is unintelligible to a modern english speaker. (excerpt from beowulf)
Whan zephirus eek with his sweete breeth / Inspired hath in every holt and heeth / Tendre croppes, and the yonge sonne / Hath in the ram his halve cours yronne ⊠<- this is middle english. it is more intelligible, but itâs still very different from what we speak now. (excerpt from the canterbury tales)
Is this a dagger which I see before me, / The handle toward my hand? Come, let me clutch thee. / I have thee not, and yet I see thee still. / Art thou not, fatal vision, sensible / To feeling as to sight? <- this is early modern english. this is so intelligible that we trust teenagers to read it in school. (excerpt from macbeth)
the english you are using to give a post a medieval or renaissance/shakespearean vibe is early modern english, not old english. (it's fine that you're using early modern english for a medieval vibe; no one expects you to learn middle english for a silly post about knights.)
how do you use pronouns?
'thou' is the informal second-person singular pronoun.
thou/thee/thy/thine
thou is the nominative form. you can use it for the subject of a sentence -> thou knowest me.
thee is the oblique form. you can use it for the object of a sentence -> i know thee.
thy and thine are the genitive forms. you can use them as possessive adjectives for nouns starting with consonants and vowels respectively. -> thy leg is broken. thine arm is broken too.
thine is also the possessive form. think about it like the word 'mine'*. -> my heart was once thine.
*'mine' is also used like thine as a possessive adjective in early modern english; you would say 'mine art' instead of 'my art'
ye and you
originally, 'ye' was the formal or plural nominitive second-person pronoun, and 'you' was the oblique form. so, it would be 'ye know me' and 'i know you'. 'ye' fell out of use and was replaced by 'you'. at that point it was already used as singular. but it was still much more formal than 'thou'.
the 'ye' you see in 'ye olde shoppe' stuff is not this pronoun. it is the way that printers who no longer had a thorn (ĂŸ) wrote the word 'the' (previously 'ĂŸe'). the 'y' in certain typefaces looked like a thorn, so we got 'ye' for 'the'.
how do you conjugate a verb?
you can't just slap a -th or -st onto the end of any verb. those are for specific conjugations. phrases like "i hath noticed" or "he thinkest that" are not grammatically sound. it's like saying "i has noticed" or "he think that".
the -st or -est ending is for (most) present and past tense verbs conjugated with 'thou'
some examples: thou canst, thou couldst, thou sayest, thou goest, thou wentest, thou hast, thou hadst, thou dost (or doest).
'thou' also has a few irregulars. some examples: thou wilt, thou art and thou wast (for 'to be'), thou shalt.
the -th or -eth ending is for (most) present and past tense conjugated with 'he', 'she', or 'it'
some examples: he hath, she sayeth, it doth, he goeth, she thinketh, it moveth
there are, of course, irregulars. the most important one is 'to be', which conjugates the same for this set as it does in modern english.
note: not every verb conjugates this way. for example, past tense verbs might use auxiliary verbs. so, not 'she cookedeth', but 'she did cook'.
by and large, the 'i', 'we', 'you' (or 'ye'), and 'they' conjugations were the same as they are today.
there were also some verbs that were used differently than we use them today, though (some of these fell out of use over the early modern period):
to be -> sometimes this verb is used instead of 'to have' as the auxiliary verb. 'i am arrived' means 'i have arrived', and 'she is come to see thee' means 'she has come to see you'.
to do -> sometimes this is used for the present progressive (i think that's the right name for it). 'he does speak' means 'he is speaking', and 'i do write' means 'i am writing'.
would -> this can be used to express a desire. 'i would i were a bird' means 'i wish i were a bird'
must -> this can be used without 'go' to mean 'must go'. 'i must to england' means 'i must go to england'
will -> this can be used without 'have' to mean 'will have'. 'you'll none of that' means 'you will have none of that'
there are a million other things i'm not covering, like different sentence structures for questions ('thinkest thou...?' as a valid alternative to 'dost thou think...?'), and different contractions ('she'll not' rather than 'she won't') but this post is long as fuck and i have things to do! enjoy! linguists, feel free to correct me on what name of tenses or declensions or whatever i have mixed up.
(psa: the point of this is not to be a kill-joy about other people's posts that have these errors. it's just a little knowledge sharing.)
wait, important additions:
'wherefore' = 'why', not 'where'. think about it pairing with 'therefore'. an example of the two in use:
'my love, wherefore didst thou pretend to see me not?' [babe, why did you pretend not to see me?]
'thy father, from whom we do keep our love hidden, did at that moment walk nearby. therefore i turned from thee that he might not espy us together' [we're keeping our relationship secret from your dad and he was walking by. i did it so he wouldn't see us together.]
'hither' = 'to here', not 'here'. there's a whole set of these, actually. 'whither' = 'to where' and 'thither' = 'to there'. these pair with 'hence' ('from here'), 'whence' ('from where'), and 'thence' ('from there'). an example of some of these in use:
'whence came you?' [where did you come from?]
(pointing to the left) 'thence came i hither.' [i came here from there.]
'and whither go you now?' [and where are you going now?]
(pointing to the right) 'my lord calls me thither.' [my boss is calling me over there]
'very well. get you hence.' [alright, get away from here.]
'whom' â fancy 'who' and this one is just also true today.
'whom' works for the object of a sentence. 'who' is for the subject. in other words, 'whom' receives the action and 'who' does the action.
'whom wrote that letter to you?' -> incorrect! this should be 'who wrote that letter to you?' because 'who' is doing the action.
'whom did you write that letter to?' (or even better, 'to whom did you write that letter?') -> correct! 'whom' here is receiving the action.
okay bye again
you have to be kinder to people with memory issues.
you have to be kinder to people who are slow processors.
you have to be kinder to people who don't understand your jokes.
you have to be kinder to people who forget important dates.
you have to be kinder to people with cognitive decline.
you have to be kinder to people who were always this way, too.
you have to be kind. you have to be kind.
Currently sitting in a pub with my husband and my friend Phil for the first time in ages and ages and I'm having the best time because Phil is exceptionally charmingly weird
He has opened the bidding as we discuss neurodiversity
"I just get distracted so easily," says Phil. "Like I meant to go to uni the other day. But I ended up playing Uno with some Mormons."
"... sorry?" says Steff.
"Yeah," says Phil. "In the park. No, wait..."
There is a pause
"Witnesses," he says. "Those ones. I told them if I lost I would convert with them, but if I won they had to go drinking with me. So that's what I mean, you know, I get distracted."
"PHIL," says Steff. "OBVIOUSLY, WHO WON."
"Oh yeah," says Phil. "Me. Sorry."
I am having the best time
Phil: Elanor, you have brain things, don't you? Like... ADHD?
Me: Yeah, I have two. Synaesthesia as well.
Phil: Oh cool! Isn't that a good one?
Me: Mostly -
Phil: Oh, are you uncomfortable around gravel?
He got married a few months ago and honeymooned in Spain. There was a stray cat around the hotel pool and Phil spent the holiday making friends with it and taking videos of them sunbathing together.
Since coming home he misses it, so now he calls the hotel twice a week to ask after the cat and if it's okay. The problem is, they don't speak English or Welsh, which are the languages that Phil speaks, and he does not actually speak Spanish.
Which means there's a four star Spanish hotel that is receiving bi-weekly calls from some random Welsh voice going "El gato? Bona?"
He is uncertain why this is not working.
Phil: I think for life to work you need Vibes, and Stuff
Steff: oh?
Phil: You need Vibes to be able to do Stuff. But it's a balance. Too much Stuff is burnout. Too much Vibes is chaos.
Me: do you know spoon theory?
Phil: Is that like flat earth?
Steff and I playtested the new coffin escape room from my old work today, in which you are literally locked in a pair of coffins and must escape them.
"Wow!" says Phil. "They should get, like, your parents and nans to come and whisper stuff into the coffin, so you're lying there freaking out like 'That is the voice of my actual dad.'"
"Just to mess with them?" Steff asks.
"It could be an ancestry service, " says Phil. "Reuniting long list relatives. That's why each game costs a thousand pounds."
"Is that like... people given up for adoption and that?" I say
"Yeah," says Phil. "Most of them won't even be there to play. They'll be like "NAN!" and hugging in reception and then I'll be like 'Yay! Now get in the coffin, Nan.'"
(N.B. this is not the first time he has suggested to me that he wants to design escape rooms you can only escape by having a revelatory near death experience that forces you to confront and reflect on your deepest traumas and personality flaws.
Last time it involved players needing to confess their deepest secrets, while the room filled to the ceiling with water.)
Phil had some follow-up questions today
I was wondering if youâd be willing to share some more Phil Storiesâą? The combination of the tale and your story telling turns it to gold dust, I laughed out loud at both accounts. If youâd like not to share more, or donât have the energy, I fully understand though! Thank you for sharing those two!
Well, here's a couple of small ones to tide you over if you like!
The Scotch Egg Incident
The Scotch Egg Incident happened when he was trying to be vegan. Unusually for Phil, he was actually quite methodical about the whole switching-diet-thing - it began with veggie Mondays, which became veggie Monday-Wednesday, and then veggie weekdays, and then the whole week but with Occasional Pepperamis, and then Actual Veggie when he replaced his Pepperamis with what Phil calls "walking cheese" i.e. cheese that may be eaten as a snack whilst walking. He transitioned to veganism in a similar way.
(Quick side note about the walking cheese, with may also help to explain some of this. He recently rang my husband with a walking cheese question.
Phil: So, do they make mozzarella with nicer water? Because I drink it but it's always disgusting.
Steff: ...sorry, Phil, did you just say you've been drinking mozzarella brine?
Phil: Yeah like it's a snack and a drink at the same time so it's great walking cheese but it tastes horrible :(
Steff: STOP DRINKING MOZZARELLA BRINE
We have transitioned him to Babybels.)
Anyway, he came to our house one day with a Scotch egg, and we were like... Phil have you given up veganism?
"No?" says Phil, slightly confused, and then looks at his Scotch egg in dawning horror. "Oh my god, is it not vegan?"
"No Phil," says Steff, patiently. "It's an egg wrapped in sausage meat."
"Oh my god!" says Phil. "I thought it was breadcrumbs!"
"Phil," says I. "It's also an egg."
So that was the day I, an omnivore, had to explain to Phil why he didn't believe in eating eggs.
(He finished the egg. Unrelatedly, he's not a vegan anymore.)
2. Phil in the World of Work
So he had a few jobs over the pandemic. As I mentioned in the first Phil story, he's currently in a call centre, and I found out the other day that he doesn't actually know how to put customers on hold, so when he doesn't like someone he sings his own hold music at them.
"No one's ever called me out on it," he told Steff earnestly, which I'm sure is true because how the fuck would you??! Like, you call the company to complain about your internet or whatever, and the guy on the other end listens to your angry diatribe and then goes 'Okay, let me put you on hold a second while I find your account' and then suddenly starts singing Never Gonna Give You Up down the phone - what the fuck do you even say to that??? Phil.
But, before the call centre, he worked in a factory in the Valleys that manufactures car parts, and he lost that job because too high a percentage of his car parts were failing their quality checks for having "An unacceptable level of human blood" in them
WHAT A SENTENCE I KNOW
Turns out Phil, being a very clumsy man who should not have been allowed to operate machinery, had cut himself while working over the conveyor belt, and decided it was probably fine, and so just kept working. His supervisor had to call him into the office like "NEVER in ALL MY 25 YEARS of working in car manufacture have I EVER SEEN SUCH A THING. There was blood ON the exhaust. THERE WAS BLOOD IN THE EXHAUST. WHY WAS THERE SO MUCH BLOOD PHIL."
He also took the wallet of a racist coworker there and sealed it in a plastic bag and hid it in the bottom of a water filled barrel and then gave the guy a series of "riddles and clues" to find it except Phil's idea of clues are really more vibes-based than logic-based, so it took hours and every time the racist guy was like PHIL GIVE ME BACK MY WALLET and Phil kept going "It's an Easter egg hunt! Happy Easter! You're so lucky!"
(He did get the wallet back. Phil did not keep the job.)
âWhen we were kids, the Phonics Wizard came to our town to show off how the letter E can change the sounds of vowels. He turned a can into a cane, a pin into a pine. This one kid had a cap and he changed it into a cape, that kind of thing.
âAnd we loved it, we were all having a great time, but then he saw my sister and I, and he just got this - this look in his eyes, and then-â
She hesitated, worrying the coarse material between her fingers. âThings got pretty bad after that,â she muttered. âI know itâs silly, but I try to keep - her - comfortable. We donât know if she can still hear us, or see us, or if sheâs even still in here, but I like to think she is. I talk to her when I can, I leave music on when Iâm out of the house. I tried to convince my parents to bring her with us when we went to Disneyland, but they didnât - didnât really take that well.â
After a moment, she put the ball of twine back onto its pillow. âAnyways. They tried to arrest the Phonics Wizard, but he had a plan in case something went wrong and he turned it into a plane and flew away.â
What if instead of menâs sports and womenâs sports we had regular sports and slut sports where everyone is allowed in both leagues but people in the slut one have to wear bikinis or maid outfits or something
Anon, that's an AMAZING idea.
I think Anon just fixed like 70% of the problems with modern professional sports.
I would love to live in a 70s dystopia where every channel is either fucking or people fighting to the actual death
basically Rollerball or Death Race but everyone is half-naked
When the mutual you really enjoy seeing in ur notes shows up in ur notes
summer AerTi đđșđïž
never forget about katherine hepburn's tboy swag
yknow what aggravates me is how both hepburn & pauli murray (and potentially LM alcott although I know less about them) are people we, i think, can generally consider part of transmasculine history based on how they described themselves. we can't know what modern words they would have used, but they share many experiences with people who today identify as transmasc, so they should be recognized as part of our history. and both are credited for their anti-patriarchal actions and defying of gender roles. & with both I see this assumption that if they were cis women, every act of gender non conformity and defiance of stereotypes around women was them fighting for women's rightsâ but if they were transmasc, then their motivations must have been entirely selfish and essentially feminist on accident. they just appeared feminist because they were cis men in the bodies of women, basically. the experience of cis womanhood is seen as a valid motivator for resisting patriarchy, but not transmasculinity. why? why is it assumed that transmascs are selfish and keen to go along with the patriarchy, or only resist based on the notion that they think they personally shouldn't experience misogyny because they aren't women?
if someone puts on pants and defies misogynistic demands put on women and they are a cis women, they are a feminist icon, but if they do the same thing and are transmasc, its... a disapointment? patriarchal? i wish so badly that we can get to a point where people can appreciate transmasculinity as something radical and which can be a powerful motivator for feminist action in and of itself. i wish we can get to a point where transmasculinity and feminism are not treated like oil and water, where transmasculinity isn't seen as a corrupted failed version of proper womanhood (whether that's being a housewife or a "womyn-identified womyn").
and it especially hurts when it comes to those two figures because neither of them were able to be openly transmasc. pauli murray was labeled schizophrenic and nearly institutionalized for trying to seek HRT and by the time transmasc healthcare started being more widely performed, they were under heavy scrutiny already as a civil rights activist working in the government. hepburn's entire career was, ultimated, based on them being a beautiful actress. i will never stop thinking of how many transmasculine ancestors just... held those feelings close to their chest and played the role of woman for the sake of their spouse or their children or their job or their politics. and how we're expected to celebrate this as the ultimate feminist gesture which any possible transmasculinity threatens the legitimacy of.
cis woman â feminist icon. it's not "was this person a feminist icon or transmasc?" because it can be fucking both. cis womenâ and women in generalâ do not have the sole claim to feminist knowledge or action. transmasculine history is part of feminist history. we have been here the whole goddamn time. we have been fighting alongside you the whole goddamn time. transmascs have been inspired by cis women who resist patriarchy; why are cis women incapable of being inspired by transmascs?
i mean just look at this guy
#iâve done some dives into both jimmy and lou . and i feel incredibly confident they were both men.#jimmy had relationships with gay men and women that he noticeably did not consider sapphic#lou dressed up as a man at parties. his father called him son. his family called him brother. he said he has a manâs soul.#our history is so rich you just have to dig and dig and dig through everyone who does everything in their power to obsfucate it
on this note. there are already so many rules for when you are "allowed" to describe a historical figure could be transmasc (even though that term is extremely broad and includes many kinds of identities). there is such a SPECIFIC kind of narrative we are taught to expect from transmasc history. masculine cis-passing heterosexual man (9/10 white) completely disconnected from his childhood or past living as a woman, who lives a life near indistinguishable from a cis man until he's outed.
one can't help but wonder just how much transmasc history gets buried and erased and "we just can't possibly say!"-ed because trans men&mascs are not allowed to exist outside of a narrative that makes misogyny a footnote at best.
like, i saw another post on Jimmy in which someone in the notes basically summed up their perspective of their gender as "maybe she was a trans man maybe she just didn't like the expectations of women." i mentioned the pauli murray thing above. its always always always "trans OR feminist" "trans OR navigating misogyny" and with Jimmy, Lou, and Pauli, all three of them could very easily have been transmasculine people who simply did not / could not run away and start an entirely new life completed dissociated from anyone who ever knew them and spend their entire life hiding.
misogyny keeps transmasculine people in the closet & then our transmasculinity is pitted against the misogyny we experience! your experience and even identity as a transmasculine person can be fundamentally shaped by living in a society which actively works to trap you as a submissive obedient housewife, and then you have people debating over whether you had negative feelings about being forced into that role OR if you were a trans guy (and thus implicitly fine with / unaffected by misogyny). HELL WORLD!!!!!!!!
#so many people are utterly incapable of conceiving that someone might have both the attitude#i am pushing back against gendered expectations for women being put onto me because they are unjust#AND also the attitude#i am pushing back against gendered expectations for women bc i am not a woman#so many ppl see someone distancing themself from womanhood and immediately see that as proof that they are in support of women being oppres#once again it all boils down to ppl being incapable of not perceiving transmasculinity as inherently misogynistic